Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or The Big Bang Theory.
This is the first segment in a planned Trilogy...and this story is meant to set up the friendship that develops between Chloe & Lois, and Sheldon, Leonard, Penny, Raj & Howard.
A/N: My FIRST Big Bang crossover...go easy *covers face with hands* Sheldon is terrifying to even contemplate writing...much less actually writing!
A/N2: So I've been contemplating writing a Chloe/Sheldon SV/BBT crossover for FOREVER, but didn't have the inspiration...UNTIL I realized that Allison Mack provided the voice for Power Girl in Superman/Batman Public Enemies...AND that the BBT boys had a brief (unaccredited) cameo in one of the Power Girl comics! So, yep, I'm using that as my justification for this! lol
There were new neighbors.
The old neighbors had been an unaccommodating couple who'd closed the door in Sheldon's face and refused to acknowledge his presence after he'd been thoughtful enough to bring them the Good Neighbor Contract to their door the day they'd moved in. They'd also played metal "music" absurdly loud (they'd obviously been half deaf-there was no other explanation for listening to anything at that volume) and when said so-called "music" wasn't blaring far above the socially acceptable norms, their vocal altercations had disturbed the genius' tranquility. They'd been so jarring even his bowel movements had been put out of whack.
Hopefully these new neighbors proved to be less of a waste of oxygen.
"Dude, have you found out at least if one of the new neighbors is a chick?" Raj leaned forwards, glancing between the roommates. "Who knows, we might get lucky and there'll be another Penny here."
Howard smiled lecherously at the thought, obviously losing himself to his debase, perverted mind.
Leonard appeared quite uncomfortable as he squirmed in his seat. "I think they're guys...I don't know."
A look of utter disappointed flashed on Howard's face. "What makes you think that?"
"There hasn't been a moving van or anything like that around." Leonard cleared his throat as he pushed his glasses up his nose, pursing his lips, face appearing as if he was either trying to contemplate something very hard...or was horribly constipated. "From what I've managed to learn about women, they have hoarding tendencies and take everything they own with them when they move."
Sheldon stopped typing, reviewing the document on his computer's screen before starting to print it.
"Frak." Howard pouted, leaning forwards, resting his chin on his fist. "How am I supposed to find the future Mrs. Wolowitz like this?"
Raj and Leonard shared looks.
Sheldon ignored them, getting up and going towards the printer, watching as the pages printed.
The door opened and Penny strolled in, grinning brightly. "Hey guys!"
"What's with the cheesecake, Penny?" Leonard asked, eyeing the dairy product with both suspicion and nervousness.
Then again, given his lactose intolerance, Leonard had a reason to fear.
"It's a housewarming gift for the neighbors." Penny declared, grin wide. "It's the neighborly thing to do you know, go over, welcome them to the apartment." She nodded. "It's important to get to know your neighbors you know."
"You're dying of curiosity to see them, aren't you?" Leonard seemed a mixture of amused and worried...and he still appeared a bit constipated.
"Yes!" Penny admitted.
Stapling the papers together, Sheldon grabbed a pen. "Come then Penny, since we are both going to the same place I suggest we go together."
Howard looked up at that. "You're going to the neighbor's, Sheldon?"
"Of course I am." The genius sniffed, holding the multiple-paged document close. "I will not make the same mistake I did with the previous tenants. Before they are able to get comfortable in a routine of chaos and disorder, disrupting my peace and tranquility, I will lay matters straight. Right away."
Leonard's eyes widened before he palmed his face with a sigh. "Not the Good Neighbor Contract again."
"That is exactly what it is." Sheldon declared.
"Sheldon, honey..." Penny started.
Not of the patience to deal with this, Sheldon turned and left. He took the steps at a careful yet determined pace, finally making it to the next landing and walking towards 3B, knocking.
Penny hurried out after him, and to his annoyance so did the rest of his inferior-minded friends...even the fond acquaintance was there.
The door opened and before him stood a member of the female species, wearing far too little clothes considering the below-usual temperature, her eyebrow raising slightly as she gazed at the people outside of her door. "Can I help you?"
Sheldon shoved the contract out towards her. "Sign this."
That eyebrow raised further as the girl looked down at the contract. "What's this..." her gaze returned to him. "And who the hell are you?"
Before Sheldon could answer Howard had weaseled between them, grinning up lavishly at the much taller female. From the knowledge of Howard's 5'4 stature Sheldon could estimate that this female was a good four inches taller, leaving her equal to Raj's height. "How can you ask who I am? Don't you recognize me? I'm the man of your dreams."
"Howard!" Penny growled at him.
"I'm good with my hands." Howard flashed a toothy grin at the brunette, ignoring Penny for once. "And my heads."
The brunette seemed to be contemplating physical violence, clutching the Good Neighbor Contract tightly in her hands and bending it slightly, much to Sheldon's displeasure.
She hadn't even read it yet and already she was being destructive.
"Lo? What's up?" Another voice declared as a blonde female of Howard's stature appeared in the doorway as well, giving everyone wary looks.
The brunette shoved the contract into her hands. "They came to give us this." She sneered at Howard. "And be utterly gross."
The blonde raised an eyebrow before lowering her gaze to the Good Neighbor Contract.
"And we brought cheesecake!" Penny's voice had risen an octave higher and was somewhat piercing, causing Sheldon to wince as his ears hurt. The waitress pushed Howard out of the way before smiling apologetically at the girls. "I apologize for Howard. Ignore him. I'm Penny and I live in 4B." She shoved the cheesecake into the brunette's hand, continuing to smile brightly as she motioned towards Sheldon. "This is Shel-."
Sheldon cleared his throat.
She flinched. "Dr. Sheldon Cooper," she motioned to Leonard. "Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali...and Howard Wolowitz."
The blonde continued to browse through the Good Neighbor Contract, face blank.
"We're here to welcome you." Penny continued. "So, welcome."
The brunette made a face before sighing and giving Penny a little smile. "Thanks for the cheesecake, uhm, would you all like to come in?"
"No." Sheldon shook his head.
The brunette frowned at him.
So did Penny. "What Sheldon means to say is that we wouldn't want to intrude on you."
"That isn't what I meant to say." Sheldon frowned at her, wondering how Penny always misunderstood him when he was being quite direct. "I mean that I have no intention of entering the premises. We do not know the sort of diseases that might-."
"Excuse me?" The brunette snarled.
Leonard flinched. "Please excuse Sheldon, he doesn't, uh, have the best social graces."
Sheldon opened his mouth to refute that.
"Did you prepare this?" The blonde was halfway through the contract, her green eyes raising to his curiously.
"It's...impressive." She mumbled.
Sheldon sent the others a superior smile before turning to her. "Of course it's impressive. I am of a higher intellect than the average human and my work is perfection."
"I'll give this a look." The girl replied, seeming to shock Sheldon's friends and acquaintance as she said this. Though why her being reasonable should surprise them was a confusion. "You're from..." her gaze went to the document. "Apartment 4A."
Sheldon nodded once more.
"As I said, I'll look it over and then get back to you on it." She declared before giving the others a little smile. "It was nice meeting you all, but he's kinda right, this place isn't in the best shape and it needs a thorough cleaning before anyone can visit."
Having accomplished what he'd come from, and deciding that these neighbors seemed much more tolerable than the last, Sheldon left without so much as a by-your-leave. He could hear Penny and Leonard saying something, but he ignored them, putting the neighbors out of his mind.
"Can you believe the nerve of that asshole?" Lois Lane grumbled as she scrubbed the floor of the apartment they now owned in Pasadena. She wore plastic gloves, her hair was up messily, and her face flustered with anger as she took out her annoyance on the floor. "He-he-ugh!"
Chloe Sullivan made a non-commital noise as she held the "Good Neighbor Contract" in one hand, and was cleaning the windows with the other. Some of these clauses were a little ridiculous and restrictive, especially considering that this man was a tenant and not the landlord, but there were clauses in here that she not only approved of, but wanted the power to implement whenever they were of use to her. Of course, there would be some need of amending before she went to apartment 4A, but she figured she could easily make this work for their benefit. They didn't know how long they'd be stuck in this place, but if it was for longer than hoped they would need some things they could fall back on.
"And the tiny jerk!" A stress-cleaner, Lois scrubbed fiercely. "I could squash him with my bare hands and he-!"
Chloe turned to the last page of the contract and read through the contents before placing it down on the table. She then allowed herself to listen to Lois' rant as she continued to clean the windows, wearing the same heavy-duty gloves. "I'll call in some professional cleaners to give the whole place a complete clean, especially the sofa...and we can buy new mattresses because I do not plan on sleeping on someone else's bed." She shuddered, remembering the result her test with the black light had given her of many different parts of this apartment-but especially of the two bedrooms.
Dear god, seriously...it'd seemed as if the asshole who'd lived there before them had been trying to spurt all over the damn place like a territorial beast!
"And, dammit, what sort of weirdo comes up to total strangers and gives them a legally binding contract?" Lois wanted to know, turning towards Chloe with a shake of her head. "And then he has the nerve to declare that this place isn't sanitary!"
"It isn't." Chloe pointed out. "Case in point, black light in bedrooms."
Lois flinched at the memory. "How is that even possible anyway? Was he aiming for the ceiling?"
Chloe shrugged, although she was curious about that as well.
Finally, Lois sighed and deflated, admitting what truly had her so short tempered. "Are you sure they can't trace the money back to us? We're in enough trouble as it is."
"I took so little from each account that no one will even notice it's gone." Chloe promised, still a little nervous herself due to the crime she'd committed in a rather public cyber cafe. Of course, she knew what she was doing and highly doubted anyone would notice the small amount of money she'd taken managed to siphon out of countless bank accounts (the small amounts quickly adding up to a much larger and substantial amount which she'd split into six different banks in six different countries) but even if someone noticed she'd covered her tracks well. There was no way anyone would be able to trace the transactions back to her and Lois.
It was a win-win situation. The people never missed the small amount of money she took and while Lois and her were stranded here they had a ridiculously large amount of money that they could use to get what they needed to survive until they were rescued.
She ground her teeth at needing to be saved once more, but there was nothing she or Lois could do about their situation and could only hope that Clark, Oliver and the others found a way to get them.
"Now that we have our papers, and once this place is semen-free, I'm gonna get a job." Lois surprised her by declaring.
"Why?" Chloe frowned, giving her older cousin all her attention. "You don't need to. With my highly illegal tech-savvyness we're set for life."
"I know...but if I'm not doing something I'll go insane. I have to do something so I don't feel so...useless." Lois whispered, her hazel gaze betraying her emotions. "I need to be busy doing something, no matter what it is."
As one, their gaze went to the closet, knowing what was hidden in there.
"No, it's not a good idea." Chloe shook her head. "Not here. Not now."
Lois sighed and nodded. "You're right."
Chloe eyed her cousin before getting up and walking towards her. "It'll be okay." She knelt down next to the brunette and hugged her, holding on tight as Lois embraced her. "They'll find us and everything will be fine."
"I just wish there was something we could do." Lois whispered.
"We wait." Chloe responded. "And we have to be smart about it. We need to blend in, not bring any attention to ourselves."
Lois nods. "So beating the tiny creep is out of the question then, huh?"
"It would probably be best." The blonde agreed with a smile.
Lois sighed, obviously put out.
"I can't believe it." Howard sat down, apparently in heaven, as he gazed in front of him in a daze. "The future Mrs. Wolowitz is living on the floor beneath you." Raj leaned over and whispered something in his ear, causing Howard to make a face. "The both of them of course!"
"Howard, you're a pig." Penny groaned, shaking her head at him in disgust.
"Oh Penny, you don't have to be jealous." He grinned at her. "You can always be my mistress."
Raj whispered in Howard's ear once more.
"That's right!" Howard's eyes widened, apparently very distressed. "We never got their names!"
"Well, the short one called the brunette "Lo" so there's a hint there. Maybe her name's Loraine, or Loralee or...uh...Lola." Penny tried, tapping her bottom lip, apparently quite intrigued with this new little mystery.
Sheldon didn't understand why they cared so much. Why did his peers always fixate on the most unimportant details?
Shaking his head, he returned to his comic book and drowned out their inane prattle.