Bittersweet Morning

Sweat falls from my forehead as I lay tiredly back, the sound of crying relax me into a calm I have not felt for months. A nurse wearing large rimmed eyes glasses came over to me

"Miss. Pope she's truly beautiful" She hands me a bundle wrap in a blanket, she was so small, she was so delicate, and so defenseless. I shake my head frighten I would drop her or hold her to tight, I mutter "oh no I might hurt her by accident", the nurse giggles "first time mommy?" she smiles as she adjust my arms so I can hold her securely

I look down at her, she has curly brown hair, soft olive skin, ten fingers, ten toes, pouty full lips and I pause as I look into her eyes, they are a pure blue color. The perfect match for her father, I sigh getting lost in them briefly reliving every moment with him. The baby coos and pouts her little pink lips, as I smile "Hello little one I'm your mommy" I rub her back softly muttering to myself "what have I gotten myself into"

The nurse entered and smiled, "do you have a name for that little beauty" she hands me forms for the birth certificate; I look down at her trying to figure out the perfect name. Then I smile "Lily" the nurse nods in agreement, "perfect" she leaves.

I think back to the time when Fitz send me vase of lilies randomly during the campaign, I have never been much of a flower girl, although I appreciated when my pervious boyfriends send them, I never saw them as anything special or unique. But when he had send them, it was special and unique and lilies forever became my favorite flower.

It was a rainy day; we just got back to headquarters from a campaign rally in Ohio. Exhaustedly I sat in my office going over poll numbers for key battle ground states Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. The Democratic candidate was killing us in the polls for independents and conservatives were still slow to accept Fitz, even after adding Sally Langston to the ticket. I shook my head in frustration as I look at recent polls, when my concentration was broken when a 5'2 delivery guy clears his throat to get my attention "Are you Ms. Olivia Pope" I nod "yes I am" he placed a vase on my desk containing a dozen light purple lilies, "Ms. Pope can you sign for these" I nod and signed for them. I rubbed my head, thinking who on earth would send me flowers it's not my birthday, Christmas or any special holiday, I shrug and read the card and looked around before smiling.

I walked into the main campaign room, "Uhm Governor Grant can I speak to you for a moment alone" Fitz nodded and followed me to the hallway, I smirk "I really hope you did not do a Edwards and use campaign money to buy your mistress flower" He frown for a second "you know you're not a mistress…you mean a lot more to me" I blush "no I was a regular guy wanted the love of my life to receive flower just because…so I pick them out myself and bought it with my own money" he says with great pride as he leans his chest into mine, I bit my lip trying to resist my attraction "Well you did not have to, I'm not really into flowers" he smiles "I know I did not have to but I wanted to, when I saw them they reminded me of you, beautiful yet resilient, perfect yet simple, versatile and loyal." I smirk softly "I did not know a purple lily meant so much" I fell his hand softly stroke my hip "Guess I finally found something the amazing Livie does not know" he tease, as he leans in to kiss me, Cyrus walked into the hall, as we both pulled away quickly, Cyrus breathily muttered sounding like he ran to find us "there you two are, we need to do some damage control, Pennsylvania looks like it might lean blue in the recent CNN polls"

I snap out my daydream, when the nurse comes back "have you finish that form for a birth certificate" I shake my head "no give me five more minutes" She nods as I look down at my perfect little baby girl "Lily….Sophia….Grant" I pause and then strike through the last part and wrote "Pope". I hang my head, this moment being bittersweet; I love this little girl with all my mite but I can never give her the life she deserves, she can never have the last name she deserves, I can never tell her dad she exist, because that news would destroy his marriage, family, and his career as President of the United States of America.

An adoption agent walks in, "Are you ready to sign over your rights Ms. Pope" she hands me papers to place my baby up for adoption.