Matt sat there on the hospital bed. He didn't want to lie down. He didn't want to acknowledge where he was or why he was there. He didn't want to have his mind thinking over and over what he had just heard. He didn't want to do fucking anything for that matter.
He looked over at the little tray that was attached to the stiff, clothed hospital bed where his phone and a water the nurse had brought him lay. He didn't want to call Mello and tell him that he wouldn't be home when he had said he would. That his check-up didn't end up just being a check-up after all. Telling Mello that he was rushed to the major hospital would most likely be one of the hardest things hes done in his entire life. But it was inevitable, he had to call.
He picked up his sleek black phone and flipped it open. He had to do this, no matter how hard it was, he couldn't keep this from Mello for any length of time. He was sitting in a fucking hospital bed for God's sake! He browsed through his few contacts in search of the one he dreaded most at the time. He just wanted to have the number somehow be suddenly erased from his phone, but when was anything ever for him. He dialed the number and slowly brought the phone up to his ear.
The phone clicked and he knew Mello had picked it up but wouldn't say anything until he heard Matt's voice on the other end. "Hey" Matt managed to choke out quite smoothly, although he could already feel the tears lining his eyes. "What's up Matt? I thought you said you'd be home by now, nothing's wrong is there?" Damn he was quick, now the tears were slowly escaping his eyes, but what could you expect from number two at Whammy's house for gifted children.
"Uh, ya Mello, there actually is something wrong, I-" Matt could here Mello moving around on the other end as he was interrupted, "Where are you Matt?" "The major hospital down near the beach" He could hear Mello stop abruptly on the other end, and he could feel his heart drop to his feet. "Matt. Why are you there?" Matt's heart then shattered at the tone in Mello's voice when he said that, but before he could try to explain further he heard the roar of Mello's motorcycle and the phone line ended.
A million things raced through my mind, what was I gonna say to Mello, how was I gonna tell him? Could I even manage to say it aloud. As to prove that the answer to that was in fact no, the tears tarted dripping off my face and onto my open palms more frequently.
I looked up at the ceiling, then the walls, then the door, and I eventually made it to the window on the begin hearing the roar and screeching of none other then Mello's motorcycle.
How could he have gotten here so fast? Or was I so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't realize the time going by. Wouldn't surprise me if it was a mixture of both though.
I guess I did it again because the next thing I knew, I heard Mello's boots halting right in front of my door. I couldn't bring myself to look up but I three simple words leave my mouth though. "Mello, it's cancer"
With that said, I felt a little weight fall off my shoulders. Mello's boots began squeaking on the floor and I felt my current bed weigh down and his hand reached for my chin. He gently grabbed my chin and lifted my face to his until I was looking directly into his eyes. "I wish I could tell you it'll all be okay... but I can't Mells." He pulled his hand from my face and wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his body.
"It will be ok Matt! I promise it will be!" I could hear his chocked sobs into my shoulder, but I couldn't blame him, I was doing the same thing. But crying isn't like Mello. Mello only cried when it involves Near beating him or... when L died. Also known as when someone he loved died.
"Mello, you have to understand how serious this is." "Matt you can't die on me! You're the only on I have and I-"
He stopped talking. He stopped crying. He stopped moving, and it honestly felt like he stopped breathing.
I tried to pull away but he had an iron grip around me. What was he gonna say? My mind was jumping towards multiple conclusions all at once. Was he gonna say I don't want you to die? Was he gonna say I need you? No. But he couldn't have want to say what I think he was gonna say. Was he actually gonna say I love you? No. He couldn't. Mello doesn't love me and I know that. I know that my one sided feelings are to forever going to be just that.
...But I guess forever isn't turning out to be as long as I thought it was gonna be. "Mello, what were you gonna say?" He shook his head into my neck and I knew that his stubborn ass wasn't going to be talking any time soon. But, with that, the nurse walked in. "Mail Jeevas I presume?" "Just Matt" I corrected her as she stared down at her clip board tapping the pen she had in hand on it. "Alright, Matt, it looks like you have... do you want to talk about this now? Or shall we continue this later. At a more private time", she looked in Mello's direction, but he didn't notice he was to busy staring at, well, me for that matter.
"Now is fine, Mello here can hear everything that's wrong with me." "Alright, if you insist. Mai-Matt, you seem to have brain cancer that is focused all in the back of your head in a mass tumor." I saw the light reflect off another tear slowly making its was down Mello's cheek out of the corner of my eye. I wished so much to just be able to bring my hand up to his face and wipe it away. Just be able to kiss it all better. But I couldn't even bring myself to move let alone kiss him. I mean friends don't kiss, and he doesn't love me, right?
But, as this was running through my mind, something in the back of my head clicked. (No pun intended) How does the nurse say this so calmly, telling someone that they're going to die soon. I'll never know how they do it. I would never be able to do it.
She continued like she didn't see Mello crying, and for that matter me crying. "We would also like to discuss procedures. We can set you up for a procedure as soon as tomorrow morning." It's like Mello had never been crying when he spoke up. "Alright, tomorrow morning is perfect." Wait now he's deciding for me? I didn't like this but I couldn't bring myself to speak up now.
The nurse nodded to us and quickly left the room. There were so many thoughts rushing through my head right now, but anxiety seemed to be the top priority because the next thing I knew I was running to the bathroom to throw up.
I knelt down in front of the toilet and then proceeded to puke out my guts. I could sense Mello behind me before I felt his hand soothingly rubbing my back. "Please leave. I don't want you to see this Mells." "Not likely." was all I got back before I had to puke again.
I had never been one for stress, but I guess I never really had to deal with it before. I felt like there was nothing more to puke out ever again, so I decided to try to stand. My wobbly legs were about to give out on me when a pair of strong but gentle hands gripped under my arms and helped me up. "Thanks Mells"
"Of course Matt, but since when do you call me Mells?" I started laughing and before I could think about a normal snide comment to make I fell into Mello and blacked out.