2 L8 TO KISS ME: 2 L8 TO KILL ME

Tavros==) Reject Vriska.

You know that a kissmesis is supposed to be mean and scary, but Vriska is too mean and too scary...and you're not ready for that kind of stuff anyway. You're too young. You're not ready for a black romance, and you're not sure if you'll ever be.

"I'm sorry Vriska I...uuhhh...I don't...I uh...I just don't feel the same way about you."

The expression of sadistic lust slips off of Vriska's face, and you watch with surprise as her grey eyelids draw together narrowing beneath tightening brows. The fanged smirk falls slowly open in a mixture of shock and indignance. She is currently lifting you up by the front of your shirt collar, but you feel your self slipping as her fingers begin to loosen.

Then she lets go of your shirt and you fall, hitting the stone floor of the cave as your useless legs crumble underneath of you.

"You...you can't reject me! I REJECT YOU!" She screams, and you wince because you're expecting her to kick you, but she doesn't, instead she goes on another rant about how amazing she is and how pathetic you are by comparison.

"You're pathetic, Tavros!" she shouts. "You're not fit to lick the slime off the bottoms of my super awesome red rocket boots-and you know why because you're a fucking anomaly-your a disgrace to inferior shit-blooded trolls every where you fucking pansy! You should have your horns sawed off for being cry-baby loser, because you're a embarrassment to our entire species! Fuck you, Tavros! I'd fuck Gamzee before I'd fuck you!"

"But Gamzee's a high blood, so shouldn't you like fucking him?" you mumble quietly, and immediately you regret not having kept your mouth shut.

Vriska blushes blue. You've caught her in a contradiction.

"Shut the fuck up!" She screams, and this time she does kick you.

Vriska==) Kick Tavros.

You kick that inferior bronze-blooded wimp right in the nub, and he squeals like a rubber duck being crushed under your foot.

"Know your place, Bronze blood," you hiss and this must have hurt his feelings-because he starts to cry. You can't see his face, because he's lying face down on the floor and he won't look at you, but you know that he's crying. He's breathing that way that he does when he cries, and pulling at the base of his horns like he wants to tear them off of his head.

"That's right cry you crippled piece of shit." you mock. "Cry because you are unworthy of me!"

"You h-hurt me, Vriska," he sniffles. "Why are you...s-so mean?"

"Oh boo-freaking-hoo, you say that like you're expecting me to give a shit. But guess what? I don't. You can lay there and cry all day for all I care."

Tavros==) Reach for your cell phone.

You turn your head slightly to the left, just in time to watch her walk away and leave you sobbing on the floor. For a moment you had actually expected her to care about you. Stupid. That was stupid. How could you ever think that?

You reach for your cell phone, which must fallen out of your pocket when Vriska dropped you. It lies a few feet to your right, so you drag your yourself over to it and pick it up.

You flip the cell phone open, and contact Karkat on Trollian Instant Messenger, telling him about how Vriska made you dress up in the boy skylark costume and then made out with you while she was dressed as the fairy from Pupa Pan. You ask for his romantic advice, even though you don't really want it. He prattles on about his stupid romantic comedies and about how awesome he thinks he is at relationships. Predictably-nothing he tells you is useful. You thank him for the advice and log out of Trollian. But wait, someone is trolling you: some douche bag who calls themselves "arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future)" It's probably Vriska.

Tavros==) Answer Troll.

You answer arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future).

adiostoreador: i uHH...I KNOW THAT'S YOU, VRISKA...yOU CAN'T TRICK ME INTO THINKING THAT YOU'RE FROM THE FUTURE.

arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future): I am from the future, moron, and also...I can tr8ck you into thinking whatever I want. Now shut up and l8sten to me. In the future, you d8e. Well actually...I murder you. So this time you have 2 not die, OK? Promise me you won't die.

adiostoreador: ...hUHH?

arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future): I'm not sure h8w to tell you this, Tavros. You just have 2 8elieve me, alr8ght? In the future, I make it to god tier level and fight Jack. You d8sctract me by trying to help and it pisses me off so I taunt you a8out yr legs. Then you snap and try to stab me so I grab the lance out of your hand, turn it ar8und and ram it thr8ugh your chest. This is h8w you will d8e if you don't do something a8out it...and also it w8ll screw up my chance of beating Jack and saving the universe fr8m the game, which I guess is a really good reas8n to not do it too.

adiostoreador: ...tHIS ISN'T...uuuUUHHH...THIS ISN'T FUNNY, VRISKA. i KNOW YOU'RE JUST uUHHhh...JUST TRYING TO TRICK ME SO uMM...PLEASE STOP.

arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future): The ent8re future of th8s mission rests on y8u not distracting me with y8ur untimely death, you stupid, 8lu88ering, pupa. If I had kept attacking Jack without st8pping to argue with you and then watching as your corpse plummeted into the a8yss, then I would have killed him, and we wouldn't all 8e in the mess that we're currently in or8itting this fucking asteroid 8elt.

adiostoreador: ...tHIS IS JUST ANNOUTHER MEAN TRICK, ISN'T IT? yOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME INTO ACTING LIKE I BELIEVE YOU SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF ME AND TAUNT ME ABOUT HOW GULLABLE I AM.

arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future): Fine, Ok, whatever. I've d8ne all I can do. Just try to remem8er what I t8ld y8u, alright? Just try to st8p it from happen8ng. Oh, and incase I never see y8u again, I should probably tell you...

adiostoreador: ...wWHAT?

arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future): 8 l8ve yo8.

adiostoreador: uUUUHHHhhh...EIGHT LATE V E YO EIGHT? ...wHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

arachnidsgrip (from six months in the future): Do you really have to make me type it without the eights? I love you, toreadork. I've always loved you.

You're not quite sure how to respond to this. It just doesn't sound like something that Vriska would say...even as a joke. You think about it for a couple of minuets, probably a little bit longer than you should. Could this person that you are talking to really be future Vriska? Is it possible that Vriska will be much more mature six months in the future than she is now? Is it possible that she's actually liked you all of this time, but has just been afraid to show it? Is that even possible?

You think of something to say, type it quickly with your thumbs and send it to her-but by now it's too late.

She's already logged off.