Note: thanks for leaving nice feedbacks for previous chapter, everyone. Hope sunshine angels might come to you and guide your days. Gosh, I don't believe in angels, hahaha. Yosh, have fun reading the second installment of Icha Icha Paradise, hope you enjoy it~!

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto and Blue Lagoon

Icha Icha Paradise on Filming

Chapter 2 Leading Stars of Icha Icha Paradise the Movie




Uzumaki Naruto, even though he always acted like an idiot, behaved badly, caused so many problems, but he still had positive aspects beyond all those things. He was always there in difficult situations, saving everyone's ass. He was always there to support everyone to be strong after losing their beloved, and whatever great deeds good young man might do. Naruto was certainly heroic character with wide smile on his face. Kakashi believed in the dark hours like Icha Icha the Movie making, Naruto was the simple solution he had been praying for. True, there was no one like him who might fulfill Jiraiya's annoying male lead qualifications.

"Naruto, come!" Kakashi called Naruto, waving his hands high, certainly too lazy to use his megaphone. Within seconds, Naruto came toward Kakashi. He was grinning widely as usual, absolutely had no idea about what Kakashi had in his twisted mind.

"Stand up here, yes," Kakashi ordered, his hands were busy looking for students' progress data he had received from Tsunade before. "Which one is your data for the last three years…"

Uzumaki Naruto, 16 years old. His favorite colors are yellow and blue. His favorite food is ramen…

"What the fuck with lousy stuffs? Naruto, I said stand here right in front of me, closer…"

"Huh?" Naruto felt a bit nervous when Kakashi asked him so, but he followed anyway. "Kakashi, what's your real motive by making porn movie? Besides, no one stupid enough to be part of it."

"Tell me, you like reading Icha Icha Paradise, don't you?" Kakashi suddenly came up with that question, staring directly to Naruto's eyes. "You have read that novel, haven't you?"

Naruto blushed red as Kakashi questioned him. How can I not read that novel, I was there when Jiraiya wrote it, he even discussed some sex scenes with me! "No, I'm not interested with that—type," answered Naruto.

"Ohhh…" Kakashi smirked, his facial expression somewhat unreadable. "Hot-blooded young man like you always prefers practical to technical, I believe?"

"EEEEHHHH?" Naruto held his breath, unnerved by what the sarcastic tone in Kakashi's words.

"Do you have someone you love these years, aside from Sakura?"

Naruto couldn't help blushing as Kakashi mentioned his first love, Sakura Haruno. "Wha-what do you mean by asking that… how can I think that way in… in these critical time…"

"Have or no?" Kakashi cut in, getting all impatient with Naruto's responses. "It would be much better if you had none."

"I-I don't have anyone…" Naruto lied. Actually, he kept thinking about Hinata's confession when they had been fighting with Pain. Her lovely face and sweet smile always tortured him in the night, making his bed wet. Let aside those thousand of sex positions he could do with her magnificent figure. However, how could he admit his true feeling in front of everyone?

Hinata heard Naruto's confession clearly. She bit her lips, quickly hid the sadness inside her heart. Oh, you are still in love with Sakura, Naruto-kun…

"Are you virgin?" Kakashi continued. Akatsuki members who were standing behind him couldn't help dropping their jaws, shocked hearing that kind of question. So far, that annoying silver-haired man had never asked that very, very personal question to anybody.

"Sure… sure thing!" Naruto was becoming more nervous than ever. "What are you thinki…"


Of out the blue, with godlike speed Kakashi took off Naruto's pants, after that he examined the most vital part in every man's life carefully. His face was completely satisfied with what he was staring at. He totally ignored the fact that Pain got nosebleed, Hidan looked so deliriously happy, Itachi somewhat interested with that sight, smiling mysteriously at Naruto.

"AHDKSJFJJVFHVBHFBVHFBVHF!" Naruto screamed like mad man, 45 percent disturbed, 20 percent angry, and the rest was the combination between excited and proud. "HDHSHDYDSBDHSDHSD!"

"Yes, you are the most suitable person to be the male lead with size that big and length—" Kakashi stopped and wrote in his note, "probably 5-6 inch or more, obviously longer and larger when erects."


"Your length is less than this, Sasuke?" Kakashi threw his wicked smile toward young Uchiha who had been watching their actions from the very start. "You lose."

"Hmmph! Mine is much bigger!" Sasuke quickly retorted that notice, completely forgot that he was in the middle of many people, absolutely had no ideas that all of the women—who were his fans—were surrounded him. Instantly, all of his fangirls screamed, calling his name madly.



"Bastard! You did that in purpose, Kakashi!" Sasuke's cheeks were blushing red, far redder than Naruto when Kakashi took off his pants. He quickly strolled to the corner, realizing Itachi was looking at him with such mocking smile on his pale face. All because of his spectacular confession about his size.

"FUCK YOU KAKASHI-SENSEI! PERVERT! INDECENT!" Naruto successfully cursed Kakashi after finally got his voice back, and then he spent the next few minutes throwing swearing and curses.

"OKAY! OKAY! WE FINALLY FOUND OUR MALE LEAD, UZUMAKI NARUTO~!" Kakashi stated, ignoring Naruto and Sasuke's foul words about him being such slut. Suddenly he noticed that unstoppable blood was wetting his shoulder. "Would you stop…"

Pain and Sasori apologized.



"Of course I will refuse no matter what!" Naruto pouted his mouth when he gathered with his friends. Sai appeared out from nowhere, smiling without saying any words. Kiba and Rock Lee couldn't stop laughing like pair of crazy weirdos. "Why in the world it has to be me! I won't take any part in that porn movie!"

"Yeah, not to mention losing your virginity in the hand of the female lead." Shikamaru gave his rational and logical thoughts. "In front of everyone."

"Well then, whoever the female, I'm sorry for her. That must be a shock being your partner in Icha Icha Paradise the Movie." Neji spoke, his face was flat as usual.

"Hey, are you mocking me, Neji? Naruto rose, annoyed.

"It was out of your character, Neji, provoking Naruto, perhaps you are jealous looking at his amazing size?" Kiba joked, but he stopped talking when the handsome Hyuuga glared at him. "Sorry Neji, I was just…"

"Eh! Kakashi-sensei is starting the next session! It is the casting for the female lead!" Choji told his friends while his hand kept storing chips into his mouth. Those words worked like magic, all of male ninjas in Konoha suddenly held their breath, curious to death.

Kakashi slowly sauntered to the woman's part with his black megaphone in his hand. His face was more cheerful and delighted, because women looked and smelled much better than men smell. They were all pretty and beautiful, totally more interesting than the boys he had been selected—or insulted.


The young men hailed Kakashi's name and suddenly moved to his side. They expected to see something wonderful. If Kakashi dared to open Naruto's pants, who knew he might reveal those breasts or more than that? No one had the slightest idea and that made everything much more interesting.





"Who dares talking dirty in my present?" Tsunade the fifth hokage yelled furiously, "Let me reconstruct your shitty face, broke your all your fucking bones, and throw your dead body into the sea!"

All of the young men turned into silent mode. Those pervert thoughts disappeared in no time.



Female Lead in Icha Icha Paradise is a pretty and pure young woman around 14-16 who is able to make everyone desires her, naked or not. This young woman has good personality and kind-hearted, and admires male lead.

Note: she might have sexy voice, desirable smile, and looking good with whip and chains.

"She seems okay, blond hair and nice figure. She might be able to do all hard sex positions." Kakashi nodded many times looking at Yamanaka Ino. "What a shame you have those little breasts. Next!"

"What the…" Ino pouted her mouth, cupped her breasts. "They're just right-sized! They're right-sized!"

"Vicious face… even though that body is rather sexy," Kakashi commented. "What do you think, Hidan?"

Hidan smirked, showing his pervert smile. "You're right, Kakashi…"

"Temari failed, then!" Kakashi continued. "Hidan, weird taste of women…"

"For Jashin's sake! You're passing my limit!" Hidan took his Triple-Bladed Scythe and put it on Kakashi's neck, who was laughing without any signs of fear. That was right, Pain came to the rescue. The blond akatsuki held Hidan's hand, gave him warning.

"Kakashi is our leader now, no one could harm him while I'm here." Pain's voice was cold and cruel, made everyone around him shudder in terror. "Always remember that, Hidan. You and me, all of us must put him above everything, obey and do everything he wants."

"Fucker," Hidan grunted.

"Wide forehead, do you know the latest invention of beauty shop named fringe?" Kakashi smirked to his ex-student Sakura, then he glanced at Ten-ten. "Simple face and simple everything, make wild boy like Kiba horny but definitely impossible for exquisite man like Neji."

"WOFFFF!" Akamaru replied, agreed to what Kakashi said. Kiba hid his face in shame, his face changed like streetlights, red, green, and yellow. Poor Kiba, the other looked at him and gave their deepest sympathy. Neji huffed in the corner.

"Woooaaah, big-breasted woman, silky porcelain skin, beautiful hair! Perfect candidate to be the female lead in any porn movies!" Kakashi admired the beautiful body that was walking toward him from his megaphone. He obviously forgot who the owner of that amazing body was. "EEEEEHHH? TSUNADEEEE?"




"I just wanted to tell you that this event has passed lunch time!" Tsunade was more than furious, kicking, attacking, and slapping Kakashi without mercy. He was getting all too annoying after all. Most of them barely did anything, and just kept silent and safe. Kakashi couldn't use his jutsu, afraid Tsunade might get angrier than that.

Handling Kakashi's personal problem wasn't stated in Pain's contract, so let it be.

"Ugghh… moonlight night in Konoha's village…" Kakashi barely said that within his final breath. Fortunately, Tsunade stopped her brutal actions. She was stunned all right.

"You are evil, Jiraiyaaaa!" Tsunade ran away, all crying. "You are the most evil man in this universe!"

No one could guess what had happened between Jiraiya and Tsunade, and no one actually dared to discuss about the potential romance between two of them. The important thing was, the interview was kept on rolling, and rolling for the next hours. After the killing and excruciating interview and camera testing, Kakashi finally decided three women as Naruto's partner.

Karin, Hinata, and Sakura. These wonderful young women will have Bedroom Performance Test with the male lead tomorrow, 9 sharp. Stop thinking about running away because Akatsuki members and I, starting after dinner, will guard each of you.


Hyuuga Hinata-Pain/Sasori

Sakura Haruno-Itachi/Kakashi



"What a luck, forehead, you gets next future brother-in-law." Ino teased Sakura, who was crying like baby. She didn't want to be the candidate. She didn't want to be porn star. Above all, she didn't want Naruto. "Sakura, stop crying…"

"My virginity is at stake…" Sakura whined desperately. "My virginity is just for my beloved Sasuke!"

"Heaven knows you're a virgin!" came strange voice from afar, the gender was obviously undetected.

Sakura tightened her fists, ready to attack. "Who dares saying that to me!"



Meanwhile, Karin was obviously fine with everything. It's been her lifetime desire to be part of the most amazing novel ever like Icha Icha Paradise. She had been Jiraiya's fans for a long time, along with Orochimaru. "Anything for Jiraiya-sannin~! I'm ready for everything~!"

"You worthless bitch!" Hidan quickly wiped his bleeding nose, looking at Karin's slender figure and nice-groping breasts. He had twisted kind of mind about sex and romance. Naughty girl with red-haired woman always drew his attention.

"Yet, you love it?" Karin replied, licking her lips sexily. She always loved those masochist men with twisted mind. "Your weapon looks sexy…"

"Deidara, you're free tonight." Hidan happily kissed Karin's hand. "Go buy dynamites wherever you like and don't bother coming back."



The most depressed of the three young women was Hinata Hyuuga. Her face was completely red and she almost cried any time everyone stared at her. She was sad, and shocked knowing she was one of those candidates. She ran across the hall, coming to Naruto. "Naruto-kun…" Hinata bit her lips, didn't know that all of the boys teased Naruto when she came closer. "Naruto-kun, there's something I want to tell you…"

"Hinata…" Naruto sighed. "Calm down, I won't let any of you takes part in that porn movie! I won't let Sakura, you, and Karin suffers!"

Hinata remembered that Naruto was still in love with Sakura. He mentioned Sakura before me… The pretty Hyuuga felt like a huge rock fell into her chests, bitter and heavy. It was so painful. It was much worse than anything.

Ah, sorry, what do you want to discuss with me?"

" … eh, forget it… it was nothing actually…" Hinata spun her body and started walking toward the exit door. "Sorry, I spent your time for nothing…"

Naruto hurriedly grasped Hinata's hand, "come on, what you want to discuss about?"



Time passed. The sky outside was getting dark but the lovely Hyuuga didn't even say any words. Because Hinata didn't want to talk with him, Naruto grabbed her hands, taking her with him inside one of the empty rooms in Konoha Hall. Of course, he did that carefully when Kakashi and his akatsuki gang were busy with their Chinese food orders.

The room was rather dark, but Naruto didn't care about it. All he cared was what Hinata might discuss with him. He was so curious, of course. Hinata might say something important. "Hinata, what do you want to say?"

Hinata bit her lips again, and then she slowly stared at him. "There's nothing, what's wrong with you? Let go…"

Naruto gave a smile, still holding her hands. "There's something you want to tell me, isn't it?"

Hinata kept silence, then she shrugged her head. "Nothing really."

"Hahahaha…" Naruto laughed freely. Hinata he had known so far was always been shy one, cute and so sweet. He wanted to hug her, reassure her that there was nothing to be ashamed of. "Hahahaha, you're so funny…"

"Naruto-kun… what you are laughing about?" Hinata asked, laughing with Naruto. "Ahahaha…"

All of those craziness and pressures from the movie casting just disappeared, as if those had never taken place in their lives. Yes, the entire Icha Icha Paradise making, Kakashi's strange acts, akatsuki came back to their lives, all were dreamlike. All was nothing in the world but them.

"Please tell what you have in your mind. I knew you have something to say, Hinata. Don't lie to me, I knew it." Naruto stated, holding Hinata's hands. "You believe in me, right?"

Hinata nodded slowly. "I always believe in you, always."

"So speak up, now." Naruto gazed directly at those lavender eyes. "What is it?"

"Naruto-kun, you knew if…" Hinata stopped a while, biting her lips. Then she lifted her chin and stared at Naruto. "You knew if you… you are the most important person in my life…"


"I'm so happy that I might be one of the candidates in Icha Icha Paradise the Movie, which means I might be yo-your lover and perhaps ma-mate with you even though only… only for the sake of the movie… it's like dream comes true in my side, but I know that this is so wrong."

Naruto face was turning red so fast, completely had no ideas about her love confession. It wasn't the first time, yes, but of course, it was still surprising. Well, he didn't expect her to discuss about her feeling about him. His heart felt like burning and his dick started taking over his brain. Dick taking over?

Why should she brought mating topic in the first place? Why should she mentioned about dream comes true? That was very dangerous. Hinata must be stopped. She shouldn't act and speak so sweet like that. "Ehmmmm, Hinata, if you want to discuss about… ehmmm…"

"I don't want… I don't want taking part in movie that could make me so close to you… I should be very happy, yes, but this is so wrong… not this way…" Hinata's face was so tense she wanted to cry, but Naruto saw her differently. Hinata's blushing cheeks were so pretty, and so cute. "Naruto, do you know how—how I feel…"


"I don't want this… this is like… like doing vicious thing, so sly… I don't want to be close with you this way, Naruto-kun."

Without Naruto's realization, his very own hands grasped Hinata, and then he kissed her.

Naruto kissed Hinata real slow, and then he grabbed her, pressing her body against his own. He could feel Hinata's erratic heartbeat inside her chest, same like his. Their heart beat like crazy, moving in crazy rhythms. Yet Naruto didn't stop. Wait, he couldn't stop.

Hinata was so stunned with Naruto's action, but just like him, she barely did anything to stop their current loving actions. Instead, she moved closer, placing her hands around his neck. Somehow, she could see hundred of red roses around them, blooming beautifully. Colorful butterflies flew across those pretty flowers. Naruto kissed her again and again, closer and passionate.

Then, he placed his tongue inside hers.

"Ehhh…" Hinata whimpered when Naruto's tongue brushed hers, giving such sweetness she had never felt before in her whole life. A very strange sensation came up as his tongue moved deeper into her mouth, tickling her insides, and slowly bit her lips. That was divine—surreal taste. What kind of taste is this? It feels so wonderful, so sweet yet addictive… is it… is it the flavor of love?

"Hinata, why did you stop breathing?" Naruto released Hinata from his arms, his face was so red like sparkling fire in winter fireplace. Hinata stared back at him with the same color on her face.

"Ehh, I…"

Sasuke who had been lying in the same room with them rolled his eyes in disgust, then he closed his eyes. Naruto that idiot barely stays away from women, troubles, and dirty stuffs. I couldn't wait till the stupid movie released.



A tall silhouette wrapped in green tight-fitted costume came toward the hall with fantastic speed. That's right. He was Gai-sensei, the talented fighter who always considered Kakashi as his mortal enemy. He was Gai-sensei, the magnificent man who always trained his body every day, the one you might meet when you woke up very early in the morning, around 3 AM. He was Gai-sensei, the man who always pushed his own limits by doing 2000 times push-up, 3000 times chin-up, and running around Konoha 200 times every morning. He did double those exercises in rainy days.


Kakashi lost his words. Last time he checked, he still had brain inside his head. I'm not making action comedy! Besides, who would watch that kind of movie with you in it? It would be great flop if Rock Lee was the only viewer!

"FINE! I'M MAKING ONE LIKE YOU!" Gai-sensei said with great confidence in his tone. He thumbed up, blinking one of his eyes and running toward the sunset. Rock Lee followed behind him, showering his beloved teacher with love and admiration. "ROCK LEE, LET'S MAKE OUR MOVIE~!"




Both teeth of greenish ninjas shone like newly cut diamonds, made Kakashi, Akatsuki members, and the rest of the people blink their eyes in annoyance. What a very, very irritating sight to close the whole event.

"Pain, too bad you can't actually kill them."



Thanks for spending your time reading this~!

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