Kage no hon'no: Hello readers! Welcome to the next chapter of Uzumaki's Shadow! Sorry for the long wait but I was occupied with some things such as graduation and Eagle Scout project and merit badges, so much stuff happening right now! But I'm here now, so let's get on with reviews!
Kage: Wait, hold on just a second.
Kage no hon'no: What is it?
Kage: I have a question to ask.
Kage no hon'no: Can you hurry up? I'm kinda in a rush here.
Kage: Am I ever going to get laid? I'm tired of waiting!
Kage no hon'no: …Anyway, on to reviews!
Kage's apostle: Glad you like the story, I will be able to update more often since I'm on break, but please be patient.
jtcr: Well, you're on the right track, but that's not what he used. A hint, it has to do with how those two bandits died.
FJ: Well, I try my best.
NaruRikudo: Well, I'm glad that my story stands out so much.
Kage no hon'no: Well, without further ado-
Kage: Hold on! You didn't answer my question!
Kage no hon'no: The characters of my stories are not privy to such information.
Sukiru: You told us what was going to happen in Wave.
Kage no hon'no: That was different.
Kage: How is that different?
Kage no hon'no: Because it wasn't important to the development of the characters. Foreknowledge of such things could affect the plot of the story. Now Tsuyo, do the disclaimer so we can get this chapter started.
Tsuyo: Alright. Disclaimer: Kage no hon'no does not own Naruto. There would have been a hell lot more action than there is right now.
"Hello" Normal talking
"Hello" Normal thinking
"Hello" Demonic/Summon talking
"Hello" Demonic/Summon thinking
Chapter 13: Introducing…
"Samehada?" Kage asked, "Well, that would explain what happened with my jutsu after it got screwed up, and I did throw the sword in the general direction where I found her, but why the hell did she bite me in the neck?" He gingerly touched the healed area of his neck, "I just happen to be sensitive to part of my neck being torn out. I really hope that I'm not going to turn into a fishman." Kage let out an exasperated sigh "Well, it's perfectly understandable that she bit me there, one of the major flows of chakra is in the neck, and now that I think about it, that was probably one of the better areas she could bite me." Kage looked over at the now tied up Samehada. "Well, I better check to see if her body is functioning properly, never know what could happen with those screwed up jutsu. I just realized something, why on earth is Samehada a girl? That makes no sense." Kage shrugged and walked over to Samehada and knelt down next to Samehada and ran his hands over her body, "Well, everything seems okay, all the muscles are in place, organs are working properly, blood's flowing, nerves seem like they're okay, bones properly aligned, vocal chords in tune, she seems just fine." He pulled down one of her eyelids, the eye moved around rapidly and the pupil was unfocused. "Now that would be a problem, new body, new muscles, and different messages being sent from the brain. Then how on earth was she able to bit me? Must have been a lucky movement of muscles." He snapped his fingers in front of Samehada's face. "Hey, can you understand me?" He then smacked his head, "I'm stupid, she's not going to be able to reply! She has no idea how to control her body!"
Kage's eyes bulged out of his head. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, "Damnit that hurt." He glared at Samehada, "Was that you?"
"Yes." There was a hint of amusement in Samehada's voice.
"And you didn't try mental contact before because?"
"You interrupted me."
"Interrupted you how?"
"When I bit you."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"When I choose a new wielder, I drain some chakra in order to create the mental bond. You stopped me when I was doing that, and was only able to do so when you examined me."
"Well, that explains why… wait, wielder?"
"Yes I chose you as my new wielder. You have shown yourself to be extremely powerful, killing my wielder with little effort when even jinchuriki would have a problem defeating him. Your chakra is unlike anything I've consumed and extremely delicious. Not to mention that method you dispatched my wielder was, appealing."
"Well, thank you for the compliments. Question, how did you learn to talk like that?"
"From my wielders, I'd often have conversations with them while traveling and speaking in clipped sentences didn't seem appropriate. Why would this seem surprising to you?"
"It's just that some of the sentient swords I've met weren't very… conversational."
"Ah. Now could you please unite me? These bonds are not very comfortable."
"Now why should I do that? You're the one who bit me and caused a chunk of my neck to be torn off."
"You're the one who dropped me, which is the reason why it got torn off. If you didn't drop me, I would have finished quickly and the injury would have healed."
"Excuse me for not expecting you to chomp down on my neck and drain my chakra! I thought you were just some strange cosplayer that had collapsed on the road!"
"You didn't realize that the place you found me was in the general direction you threw me after your jutsu went awry?"
"I thought you were going to blow up or something like that! Even if the jutsu did go awry, that shouldn't have happened! I mean, the only other time I knew this happened was with a FUBAR seal, not a FUBAR jutsu!"
"Wait, this happened before? How did this happen? How do you have knowledge of this?"
"Yes this happened before; no I'm not going to explain it, one of the many perks of having a laptop with dimensional internet. Don't worry about it; you'll end up hurting yourself."
"…Fine. Now, about untying me."
"Alright I'll untie you, one on condition. Since I currently don't have the time to teach you how to walk and all that jazz, I need to carry you back of Konoha before I can really do anything. You can only feed on my chakra for ten minutes every five hours, and you are to let me know when you do."
"Five hours?" Samehada whined.
"Either that or nothing at all."
Samehada thought over the proposal for several minutes, "Fine I agree to the condition, now please unite me."
Kage grinned slightly, "Glad that we could come to an agreement." He cut Samehada's bonds and picked her up, carrying her in a bridal position.
"I'm feeding." Samehada said before she bit down on Kage's neck.
Kage grunted, "I can already tell this is going to be a long walk back."
Back in Konoha
The doorbell sounded through the house, indicating that someone was at the door. "Sukiru!" Tsuyo shouted, "can you please get that?"
"Absolutely not!" Sukiru replied, "The only person I'm taking orders from is Kage and he isn't here! Go get it yourself!"
"I am rather busy at the moment," Tsuyo said.
"What on earth are you doing that could be so important that I have to go answer the door?"
"Reading the newest issue of Icha-Icha."
Sukiru immediately teleported to Tsuyo, "The one where the main character get captured by the three kitsune sisters and has to seduce his way to freedom?"
"Yes, although I don't see what your obsession with these books, nothing more than mindless sex. Little to no development of the characters and cliché after cliché."
"If you don't like it, then why are you reading it?"
"I was attempting to gain information to… enhance our experiences."
"Oh? She getting bored already?"
"Quite the contrary, she is quite enjoying our time together, I just wish to make it better for her. I am reading these books in an attempt to learn how to strengthen our relationship, but so far, I have learned nothing except for some very interesting positions."
Sukiru shook his head, "Man, you're reading the wrong books, I used read them because I was curious. Alas, one can only read so much porn before it gets boring." He handed Tsuyo a black book, "Read this, you'll learn a whole lot more from this."
Tsuyo looked at the title, "Sukiru's Guide to a Healthy Relationship?"
"Hey, I can actually give good information about a relationship okay?"
Tsuyo opened the book and started reading, "You going to answer the door?" The doorbell rang again.
Sukiru sighed, "Fine, but only this one time!" He walked out of the room and headed to the front door. "What do you want?" he asked, opening the door.
"I'm here to see Kage." Shinigami said. "Is he here?"
"Oh!" Sukiru exclaimed, "I didn't expect you to be here this early. What about the work that needs to be done?"
"Oh, I've assigned someone to cover for me while I'm gone. So is Kage here?"
"He's out on a mission right now; he should be back in a day or two. But please, come in."
Shinigami stepped inside the house, "You're being quite the gentleman Sukiru. That's rather unlike you."
"Well, I want to keep my sanity. I dread to think of what Kage and your sisters would do to me if I tried anything with you. Do you want anything to eat?"
"No I'll be fine. Where's Naruto? I want to meet him."
"He's out right now, training with his team. Should be done in a couple hours."
Shinigami huffed, "Well, what am I supposed to do then? I didn't come here just to wait!"
Sukiru shrugged, "I don't know, read, sleep, eat, get laid. As long as nothing major gets destroyed, I don't really care."
Shinigami smiled, "Then you don't mind joining me for some target practice?"
Sukiru paled, "Do I get a choice?" he whimpered.
"No." Shinigami grabbed Sukiru by the collar of his cloak and dragged him out the door.
"Tsuyo save me!" Sukiru screamed.
Tsuyo looked up from his book, "Huh? Someone say something?" Hearing no reply he went back to reading.
"Hey, Tsuyo!" Naruto shouted, "Did someone show up at the door?"
"No, it was just Sukiru heading out."
"Oh, what's he doing?"
"Do you know when Tou-san is going to be back?"
"Well, let's see, two days to get to his destination, four or five days of waiting around before he finally gets bored of waiting and finishes the work himself or something happens that requires him to fight. Adding three days for the inevitable Murphy Law interference, so two days left until he comes back, and probably with some new problem that will cause a lot of problems and many headaches. Stop worrying, Kage won't stay away for long if it's possible. Now go back to your bath, need to keep those scales healthy." Naruto turned around and headed back to the bathhouse. Tsuyo sighed and went back to reading, "I wonder how Kage is doing right now."
Back with Kage several hours later…
"No! That's not how you're supposed to do it!"
"Why not? It's much easier to do it this way and I don't like doing all this work. You should be putting in some effort as well."
"I am putting in some effort, but you're not accepting it!"
"Well, forcing me with your hand is not help!"
"I'm just trying to help you form the muscles correctly!"
"It's not helping; you're making me gag every time you do it!"
"Just stop arguing with me and say the letter!"
Samehada attempted to scowl at Kage, but only managed a slight frown, "A-, A. There, you happy now? I still don't understand why I need to learn how to talk. I can communicate with you just fine. And you said you didn't have time to do this earlier."
Kage groaned and rubbed his head, "Let me explain this once again. I currently have no idea how to turn you back into your old form and I don't think I will ever be able to. I am teaching you how to talk now because it will become necessary for you to communicate with other people and I don't feel like being some kind of messenger. If I didn't think this was necessary, I wouldn't have gotten a hotel room for the night and insisting that you do this. Now please, can you please just do what I tell you? I plan on have you speak basic sentences by tomorrow. I'll let you feed whenever you successfully say ten letters."
"Well, what are we waiting for? Give me the next letter!" Samehada urged.
Kage sighed, "Now you're so eager aren't you? Alright, the next letter is 'B'."
Kage sighed as he headed towards the bathroom. After several long hours teaching Samehada, she had finally become tired and fell asleep. As he started to open the door, his shadow disconnected from him and formed a duplicate of him. "So, how has it been going Kage? Anything fun happen recently?'
Kage sighed again, "Do you really need to ask me that?"
The Kage doppelganger shrugged, "Not really, but I like hearing it from you. Anyway, thought I'd let you know, the natives are getting restless. They want you to choose a mate."
"I thought I had more time on that, especially since Naruto is connected."
"Naruto's bond isn't as strong as yours yet and only the men have been receiving it. They're not satisfied with Naruto, they want you."
"You know this is difficult for me. Not anyone can handle the initial strain of sharing senses with someone. If you remember correctly, I got hit pretty hard."
"That was different, not only did you form a extremely detailed connection with us, you decided to connect your memories to ours, and you had nowhere near the amount of control you do now. It just needs to be something similar to Naruto's connection, just a little stronger."
Kage sighed and stared into the mirror for a couple minutes, "Alright, give me two weeks. I'll find a mate by then."
The doppelganger smiled, "I'll let the others know. We are glad to be connected with you Kage."
"Don't mention it. Say hi to everybody there for me. I'm sorry I can't go there myself."
"Don't be, we prefer it if you are out here, experiencing the things we wouldn't be able to without you." The shadow sank back into the floor and connected to Kage.
Kage looked into the mirror once again, "Two weeks huh? You just had to challenge yourself. Idiot."
The next day…
"Well, here we are Samehada," Kage said, "Konoha."
"It- it's huge!" she exclaimed, staring at the arch of the gate leading into Konoha.
"Meh, I've seen bigger. Anyway, let's head in, shall we?" He reaffirmed his hold on Samehada and headed to the station at the gate.
"Kage!" Kage froze in place at the sound of the new voice.
"Who was that?" Samehada asked.
"Nobody important." Kage replied as he started walking a bit faster.
"It sounds like that they know you."
"I'm a well known person around here, could be anybody."
"Then why is your chakra agitated?"
"What are you talking about? My charka isn't agitated; it's… just faster than normal."
"Are you scared?"
"Scared? No, of course not! Terrified of losing my balls? Absolutely." A hand grabbed Kage's shoulder, causing him to freeze.
"Hello Kage," a feminine voice said behind him, "Would you mind turning around so we can talk?"
Kage slowly turned around to look at the woman behind him. She was wearing a black shirt with a jonin vest and black pants. Her brown hair was extremely messy, going down the sides of her face. Two fang markings were on both of her cheeks, indicating she was part of the Inuzuka clan. He gulped audibly, "Hi Tsume."
End of Chapter 13
Kage no hon'no: Now some more back-story. Yay!
Memories: Dragon and Wolf
Nine years and six months ago…
"Damnit all, don't they give up?" Kage shouted, "Just once I wish that I can go outside without a damned horde of fangirls chasing me!" He ducked to avoid a flying tackle from another fangirl. Looking around for a way to escape, he noticed several shinobi running across the rooftops. His hopes were dashed as he recognized that they were part of the fangirl horde. "Why me?" Kage moaned, "Why must I be the one to suffer this torment?" Searching once again, he spotted a store further up ahead. A plan forming in his mind, he dashed into the store.
Tsume's day had been rather uneventful. There were no problems, no pressing business to attend to, or anything of that nature. She decided to take advantage of this rare opportunity and headed into town. Currently in a clothing store, she looked at the racks of clothing, seemingly uninterested. The uneventful day was shattered when a man garbed in black ran into the store. He looked around for a couple seconds before locating a box full of used clothes. He dove into the box and burrowed into the clothes, hiding him from view. Just he successfully hidden himself, a horde of women poured into the store. They began searching the entire store, the clothing racks, both of the dressing rooms and bathrooms, to the ire of people who were occupying them. After several minutes of searching, the women gave up and left, muttering in disappointment. Half a minute after the last one had left, the man burst out of the box, gasping for air.
"My god that was terrible!" Kage shouted, "I had no idea that it was so bad! I mean, I'm grateful that it worked, but still! Awful, just completely awful!" He turned to find himself face to face with Tsume. Kage let out a girlish shriek and jumped back into the box. Several seconds later he stood up and looked at Tsume again. He sighed with relief, "Oh thank goodness, I though you were one of them."
"One of whom?" Tsume asked.
"Fangirls. The ultimate bane of any male protagonist and/or antagonist or the secondary character. Usually all of the above. An unstoppable force that is solely focused of capturing their chosen target and raping them. But I have found a way! I have discovered the one thing that fangirls absolutely abhor! The solution to defeating them! An antidote to their poison! A cleaner to remove the blemish! The unmovable object to stop the unstoppable force! Used clothes!" Kage made a triumphant pose, sparks shooting from the ground on either side of him.
"I know, I was skeptical at first too. Then I decided to do some research into it. Apparently the foul odor that comes from used clothing repels fangirls, how I don't know. Unlike everything else which they can adapt to, the smell is different each time, so they can't adapt to it. Of course the downside is that the person using it against them can't adapt to it either, but hey, got to make sacrifices." He looked at Tsume curiously, "Have we met?" Tsume started to answer, but Kage interrupted her, "Oh that's right! You're on of the clan heads! I remember seeing you at the meeting. I'm terribly sorry, but we haven't been properly introduced." Kage held out his hand, "I'm Kage Kyoki, head of the new Kyoki clan."
Tsume cautiously took hold of Kage's hand before shaking it, "Tsume Inuzuka, matriarch of the Inuzuka clan."
Kage smiled, revealing his elongated canines, "Inuzuka huh? I met a couple of your clan members during the Third Shinobi War. I found it intriguing that you accept the feral nature that humans have. That and the bond you create with your canine companions is amazing. It's very rare to see something like that among shinobi. Tell me, is Ashi Inuzuka still alive?"
Tsume scowled, "He better not be. Ashi was convicted of being a traitor and killed five years ago."
Kage's smile faded, "That's a shame, Ashi had always been a good friend. Anyway, enough with my rambling. What brings you into town? Surely there are duties you need to attend to."
Tsume growled, "My business is my own."
"Yeesh, don't need to snap at me, just trying to make friendly conversation. You need to loosen up a little Inuzuka-san."
"I don't need to do anything!"
Kage's visage darkened slightly, "Alright, that's it. I'm going to show you how to have fun on a day off." He raised a hand and slapped Tsume on the butt and dashed to the door.
Tsume's eyes bugged out slightly before becoming red with anger, "I'm going to kill you!" she roared.
Kage stuck his tongue out at Tsume, "Nyah! You have to catch me first!" he ran outside and with that, the chase was on.
Tsume couldn't tell when it had become a game for her. For the first couple hours she was furious, doing everything she could to catch Kage. All of her attempts failed, and with each one Kage would taunt her to rile her up to attack again, only to fail once more. Once she had calmed down somewhat, she started to plan her attempts more carefully. Of course, they didn't work, and Kage would just laugh and encourage her to try again. Soon enough, she found herself laughing along with him. After several hours of chasing him, she had managed to corner him in a grove of trees.
"Oh no!" Kage exclaimed, "It seems that I am trapped within this grove! Whatever shall I do?"
Tsume grinned, "Looks like I've got you now Kage."
"Well, that's what you said the last thirty times you've tried to catch me Inuzuka-san. What's different this time? I mean yes, you've managed to corral me into this grove, but besides that." Tsume said nothing and leapt at Kage. Kage started to move to get out of the way, but found he couldn't. Looking down, he saw that his feet were entangled in the roots of the trees around him. "Aw crap." Tsume tackled Kage to the ground and pinned him there.
"Told you." She said.
Kage nodded, "Yes it seems you have. Although I do have one question."
"What is it?"
"Did you have fun?"
The question somewhat surprised Tsume, "I-I suppose I did." She muttered.
Kage grinned, "Then I have succeeded in my goal. I shall now accept my punishment." He closed his eyes, waiting for the coming onslaught. It was his turn to be surprised when Tsume pulled him off the ground. "Huh?"
"I'll forgive you this once." Tsume said, "But pull a stunt like that again and you'll lose what makes you a man." She turned around and started to walk away.
She turned around, "Yes, Kyoki-san?"
"Would you like to have lunch sometime?"
Tsume smiled slightly, "I'll think about it." She started to leave again.
She turned around again, "What is it?"
Kage smiled sheepishly, "I'm still stuck." Tsume rolled her eyes, but walked over to free Kage.
Kage no hon'no: My god that took forever to finish! I've said it once and I'll say it again, I hate filler chapters! I also didn't have any notes for this chapter, so that made it even longer!
Kage: Well, be glad that it's over. So are me and Tsume going to be a thing?
Kage no hon'no: *rolls eyes* Well obviously! Why did you think I took the time to write how the two of you actually met? Why must my characters be stupid like this?
Sukiru: Well, this is just me, but wouldn't that be that author's fault then?
Kage no hon'no: Shut up Sukiru!
Tsuyo: Seems like you're onto something Sukiru.
Kage no hon'no: *sigh* Just someone take us out please.
Samehada: I'd be willing to Author-sama.
Kage no hon'no: Thank you Samehada, I'll be sure to have you feed on Kage more often.
Kage: Hey! That's not fair!
Samehada: Be sure to Read and Review! Ja ne!