It was over since I fell to the mutations.

It had always been over. I had always known I wouldn't have won. I was just supposed to believe that I was going to be a hero. I would bring honor to District 2 and be showered in praise, but all of that hid the ugly truth from me, from all of us. I had volunteered, too. That made everything worse. I had volunteered to be thrown into an Arena. I had volunteered to kill innocent children. I feel like I deserve this. To be torn to pieces by mutts. This pain does not compare to the one that I have inflicted on others. It also doesn't compare to the pain of losing someone you love. She was everything to me, and I lost her. I lost her to these brutal Games. I never knew I could love someone like I loved Clove. Just thinking about her small, dying body in my arms makes the pain of these mutations nothing. Is this how the families of the children I have killed feel? Numb of the pain from losing a person you love? I deserve this. I deserve to die. I was dead anyway, right? Exactly. My death won't even matter to my family back home. They will be ashamed and disgraced. If only this didn't happen to me, to Clove, to anyone. I know I'll end up in Hell. I deserve to go there. I don't deserve mercy, I am a monster. Bred to kill, born to die.