"…And furthermore I believe it is your puny humans' law that you must inform me of my rights upon apprehension."

"Do you ever just stop?"

"You call yourselves heroes!"

"God! Steve, Thor, shut him up!"

"Maybe you'd like come back here and try?" In the back of the car, Steve wiggled away from Loki, wedged in the middle seat between his brother and a very uncomfortable Captain America.

"I could easily escape these bonds. You still have no idea what you're dealing with."

"Believe me," said Tony, turning around and already ignoring the speed limit, "we do."

Clint grabbed the wheel as the car swerved into the oncoming lane. Loki laughed a little too maniacally for Steve's peace of mind. Thor remained impassive.

Loki inched closer to Steve and eyed his shield up and down. Steve felt very awkward.

Nervous silence reigned in the little vehicle for a few minutes before Loki, still turned towards Steve, suddenly crooned in a low voice,

"Nice spandex."

Tony swerved again and both Clint and Steve started yelling at Thor to "shut your damn brother up or so help me God!" though with a few more expletives from the front seat.

"It's just talk, what do you want me to do?"

Loki raised his voice and began to shout what the three Midgardians could only assume were the most horrifying of Asgardian insults at everyone and no one. Clint sat practically backwards in his seat and Steve was about ready to open the door and just let himself fall out of the car.

"ANYTHING!" Thor flailed his arms and smacked Loki in the head, which did nothing to stop the torrent of angry foreign expletives but only got more of them aimed towards himself. Tony used one hand to steer and the other to point frantically at the glove box, roaring "Muzzle! Muzzle!" at Clint. Clint fished out an oddly-shaped piece of headgear and after shouting "Why do you keep this in here?" threw it back at Steve, who looked like he might have a panic attack if he had to actually touch Loki's person. Thor snatched it from his hands and after a struggle, during which Loki ended up in Steve's lap and the mortified Captain tried his best to melt into the upholstery, Thor got the mouth guard locked around his brother's face.

Muffled sounds still found their way out of Loki's mouth and he continued to struggle in between the two Avengers until he spotted a greasy shawarma napkin near his feet. He awkwardly picked it up with his bound hands and gave the car another once-over before leaning forward again and plucking a pen out of Tony's suit pocket.

"Hey! Dude! Keep your kid brother under control!" Thor shoved his brother roughly back into his seat and Loki shot him another contemptuous look before stooping over his lap and scribbling on the napkin with the stolen pen. When he sat up he held the paper in front of his chest for his captors to read.

Damn you all.