A/N: Hi, everyone, HeavenOnFire here. *Wave*
Here, I want to thank Dragon Coast Ryder. Thank you for all your help and suggestions!
Just another story dedicated to my favorite couple from Mass Effect Universe. Please Enjoy.
01. The Dream
"When this is over, I'm going to be waiting for you. You better show up!"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm going to fight like hell for the chance to hold you again."
"Take care, Major."
"Stay safe, John."
Again, night surrounded him when John woke up from his ever returning dream. For more than three years, the blurry images he kept seeing while his mind was at rest hunted his nights and tortured his days. But for more than two years the images were shifting, gaining weight until tonight when it was less disturbing but revealing.
Still tired from the dream and exhausted from few sleep, John looked around. It took him a minute to realize, that he wasn't at his own place. A look to his side confirmed what he was thinking. Of course, he spent half of his night in the arms of a naked asari, though he didn't even remember how it was.
All the worry of his days and the pleasure of his nights had been washed away by the sensation his dream had left on his lips. He could now even feel the heart-breaking pain in his chest, reminding him what he had had in his dream.
It was a familiar sensation. Like seeing into someone's mind, experiencing someone else's memory and feelingthe moment he had shared with this person in his dream. A person he didn't know. Or didn't remember. He had no evidence that what he had seen was real or just a sum of his fantasies.
But still, he could taste the sweetness this person had left on his skin. The weight of this person's armour plates on his chest and hear the beauty of that voice. Not just a voice. A whisper, nothing more, but full of longing and promise.
With a sigh, John rose from the soft bed he had shared with this asari dancer. She was beautiful, too. But somehow, now that John looked at her, seeing the moonlight on her purple body, she seemed unreal. Even poisoned.
But John knew that she was real and the dream wasn't. She was his only reward for surviving the day. A cheap drink and a few hours where he could really forget what he was.
How ironic it was. A man without past, without memory, without life, living from day to day, searching for something to help him forget. How unfair. How can it be that this was all that life could offer? Is this how the rest of his life should be? Wandering through the street at day, looking for quick credits to survive his next? Dancing at night to find himself a person who can distract him from the reality he had faced?
John tossed another glance towards the woman in bed and realized the promise of pleasure. For a moment he played with the thought if he should just go back to her bed and fuck her again, hard, so he would be exhausted enough to sleep till the next day.
But he hesitated.
It wasn't her he wanted. Wasn't even the pleasure such a body could offer him. What he wanted, John never even admitted to himself, was something deeper with someone he really cared about.
Here, in this dirty hole of a town somewhere in North America, no one cared about him. Sure, they realized his value, because in days like these people are glad to have someone around who knew how to handle a gun. Though, John himself had no idea how he had gained such a skill.
He certainly didn't care about anyone here in town. These people didn't trust him. To them, he was a stranger. A newcomer. An outsider, who was forced to stay in here, when some Alliance hero ended the war and blew up all the mass relays. For them, he was only a good shot in a gang. An asset they could use. And a threat, when he turned against them.
"Hey..." the asari dancer murmured faintly, sounding as seductive as she did when John met her a few hours ago. She turned to face him and John's eyes wandered across her exposed body, which shimmered in the dim light. "...leaving so soon?"
"Go back to sleep." John said, now dressed and standing over her bed. "I'll see you in the club."
She didn't answer to that, but went back to sleep. John was sure that she even didn't care if he ever talked to her again. It wasn't that he didn't satisfy her. For her, he was a toy just as she was to him. But nonetheless, it was hard to leave without knowing what was waiting for him outside the door.
So had his life been for three years. He never knew where he was going to spend the night or with whom. It wasn't that he enjoyed such casual changes of partner, but the nights here were too cold and lonely to spend them alone.
Wandering through the lightless and empty streets, all he could see were the shadows of rubble and the stars above. John had always enjoyed the view at night. Between the stars, everything seemed so calm. Somewhere up there, John knew it deep inside, something was waiting for him.
It was all so tempting to leave everything behind and simply follow the call of space.
Though he had no friends or family here, he had his reputation. His skill in combat and in negotiation had brought him a high place in this pathetic local gang, which called themselves the "Red Suns". He couldn't complain. There were people outside who didn't even have the pleasure to forget. At least he didn't have to worry about freezing or starving to death.
Though his didn't know his path, he knew, he needed to keep moving. He had seen people who weren't able to move on after the war, when the worlds were nothing less than wastelands and people's greatest worry was still surviving. The only difference was not being hunted by husks or worse, but now by hunger and disease.
Again, he was reminded of what he had in his dreams. That wasn't just a woman, who placed a kiss on his lips. Who had spoken soft words into his ears. But a promise. A promise of future. A promise of his past. A promise of who he really was.
There, back in the days he couldn't remember, John was sure he had held all these things in his hand. He had shared his secrets with people he trusted. With friends, who stood by his side when all hope seemed lost.
Once again, he lifted his eyes upon the stars. Now, they seemed all so far away. So small and so meaningless. But John knew if he wanted to find out who he used to be, the only thing he needed to do was to extend his arms and all what he had wanted and missed would be in his grasp again.
Really hope you liked it.
And thank you for reading. :-D