A/N: First NCIS: LA story, hi! I got into this series because of Deeks and for me, what he has with Kensi is just mind-blowing. The push and pull, the trust they build, the flirting, the everything is so very awesome and I wanted to try my hand at putting that all into a story. This is very introspective Kensi and I hope to do her - and their thing - justice with this story. Takes place after the finale, though touches really only one aspect from the beginning of it.
Disclaimer: All property of Shane Brennan.
She could feel his presence before he even stepped close. He seemed to be always there, hovering in her personal space, close enough to be sensed but far enough to not make her feel like suffocating. But now his arms went around her, taking grasp of her outstretched hands.
"I figured you could use a hand." His voice is soft against her ear and she realizes he steps even closer, almost crowding her, fixing her posture and showing her how to hold the gun.
She tenses but doesn't stop; the feel of him so close again is making her head spin, his salty scent - which she loves, as he so rightly pointed out - washing over her and calming her in an instant. She doesn't step away, she can't step away and she wants to be consumed by this feeling, the intensity of it all.
"Just trying to make sure you have the right form there, honbun." And she doesn't mind. The gun range narrows to just the feel of his lean body pressed against her and instead of turning away, she lets herself fall back on him, the gun in her hands all but forgotten, the reason why they're at a gun range seemingly non-existent.
He notices the way she's succumbing to this thing, their thing and his touch becomes more pressing, more insistent. One of his hands slides over her shoulder and down her side, barely touching her but she feels it and it makes her want to gasp, so unlike her. She imagines those hands on her body, on her skin and doesn't stop the small sigh when his hand covers her stomach, possessively, and it turns her on more than anything.
The gun falls out of her hands, clattering on the hard surface but she barely has time to notice before she turns around and lets the tide carry her, lets him pull her closer and then finally, finally their eyes meet and she knows this is it. This is the point of no return and she kisses him. This time, he responds instantly, no hesitation, no shock, only an overwhelming need to touch her, to show her what this means and oh, does she know.
It's driven by heat and she can't seem to tear her mouth away from his, intoxicated by his scent, his hands wandering over her back before one of them settles between her shoulder blades and he pulls her even closer than it should be possible. She feels lightheaded, feels like there should be a reason this shouldn't be happening but she can't find any and all she can think is more, yes, please and she doesn't fathom the public setting when he's right there. And then his hand moves to her hip and she knows he will pull at her leg and she will wrap it around his and it is going to be so-
Kensi wakes with a gasp, eyes wide and slightly out of breath and it takes her a few moments to come to her senses. She's in her bed and it's night but wasn't she just at the gun range and doing much better things with her part-
It was a dream. She had an almost-sex dream about her partner. She feels mortified, as if he could know what she was dreaming of right this minute.
This cannot be happening, Kensi Blye refuses to be deterred by some contraption which her subconscious has created. Dreams are just bits and pieces of everything that's happened and it doesn't mean anything. Her brain just combined what happened at the gun range with the fact that it's been too long since she's actually had sex and there's no more to this.
And she lies down in bed but she knows this is not true. She didn't just happen to have this dream. She had the dream because this is what her subconscious wants to happen; what she wants to happen.
Kensi feels irritated with herself the moment that thought enters her head and she tries to force it down but it's late and it's night and she's much less ready to inhibit herself than she usually is.
And so, she acknowledges that the dream has nothing to do with her love life – or lack thereof – and everything to do with her partner.
Because, while they were at the gun range, playing the parts of gun-loving boyfriend and gun-enthusiast-but-not-a-great-shot girlfriend, she knew they would have to act loving and she would have to be excited about the prospect of shooting a gun.
And she was, at some level, ready for Deeks to take it too far, to call her by some ridiculous nickname and make them seem as sweet as possible. She was even ready for him to touch her in some way and she would have been fine with it for the sake of the cover.
What she wasn't ready for was the the way it made her feel when he corrected her posture and gave her tips about how to deal with the recoil.
He was entirely too close and the odd feeling in her – which she refuses to call butterflies, knowing full well that's what they were – had taken her by surprise. It was too good and it drove her mind back to their undercover operation, to Justin and Melissa. She saw it in a flash, the comfortableness they acquired during their time there and how warm it made her feel. The look in his eyes when she remembered what he was wearing the first time they met and when he revealed he remembered as well.
And the unduly short kiss which wasn't the least bit romantic because he was so shocked by her actions. But she had felt the beginnings of his response. She had felt the change in him moments before their hosts returned; the way his mouth started to respond and his hands move towards her.
That's what she recalled at the range and it was unacceptable. He was her partner, they were undercover, Renko's cover might have been blown and the butterflies in her stomach wanted nothing more than to break out and carry on the way her dream sequence just played out.
So, she did the only thing she could – she punched him in the gut with her elbow, making him back away before she let herself get carried away. Because she liked it too much and it was dangerous.
And now she's awake at 3 A.M. and she wonders if this is going to be a thing now. Wonders – before she can stop herself – if he felt it too, if he feels it. It, this, their thing which they don't talk about and have only acknowledged twice because it's too much for her. And, Kensi knows that despite all his talk and flirting, it's too much for him as well.
But she thinks maybe they should handle this before the too much of it all breaks between them and, in the process, manages to break them both.