I had a bit of a harder time writing this part XD But I do love Germany c:
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Germany can't read through a history textbook without being scared. How could he? Hundreds of pages filled with failure, of defeat, of desolation. All the things he was afraid of, all the things he worried about, were written plain as day.
Nations collapsing on themselves, being ransacked, torn apart. Even his own defeats were written there. His own mistakes. His worst fears come true.
Once, he'd been the most powerful nation. He had the world clutched in the palm of his hand, all of Europe running scared. But now, not only had he lost his power, many still lived in fear of him.
Hitler...Holocaust...Eleven million dead...
He failed. He hates himself for that. He was defeated. He lost. However you sliced it, he was living his own worst nightmare- failure.
"You're not a failure, Germany," Italy always said. "You're my best friend in the whole world, and you're the toughest guy I know!"
He'd hug Germany and kiss him, grinning his bright grin, tell him that he hadn't failed- that his country's mistakes didn't mean he was a bad country.
Germany didn't really believe him. Maybe a part of him didn't want to believe. It didn't stop Italy from trying, though.
Sometimes, Japan tries as well. He tells him there's no sense dwelling on the past. That the future's the only thing that really matters. But he doesn't believe that either.
His talk with the Roman Empire terrified him. This man, who had the whole known world in his hand, had lost everything.
Germany wouldn't fail again. He couldn't bear that. The very thought of it kept him up at night, holding Italy in his arms while he slept, just thinking. He did a lot of thinking.
Sometimes, though, when he's holding Italy, listening to those sounds of the night, he thinks of all he has. A friend (Japan), a lover, allies...
Italy moans and looks sleepily up at him, nestled snugly against Germany's muscled chest.
"What's wrong?" Italy asks.
"Oh, nothing," Germany says, shaking his head. "Sorry I woke you up."
"No, it's okay Germany. Goodnight."
"I love you, Germany."
"I love you too."
Maybe, just maybe, he hasn't failed so badly after all.