A/N: Hey y'all, I didn't want to post this while I still had another fic in progress but I just couldn't help myself. So yeah, tell me what you think of this! It's gonna have bad language, smoking, alcohol and sex in it later on so be warned!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Offense: The Best Defense

We're Not Friends

Santana Lopez had it all. She was head cheerleader, dating the quarter back of the football team, practically OWNED the whole damn school and to top it all off she was sexy as hell and smart as a whip.

Everyone feared yet envied her in a way no one could describe.

She had the whole world wrapped around her little pinky.

...Well, almost the whole world.

"What the fuck are you doing in my seat Pierce?" she sneered at the blonde currently occupying her chair. She was leaning back with her combat boots propped up on the table in front of her.

Brittany S. Pierce.

She hated her. She was to carefree, to stubborn, to dumb and to fucking annoying to waste any of her time and energy. Of course those weren't the only reasons why she disliked her so much. The primary reason was that she was so god damn defiant. Everyone, EVERYONE else bent to her will except Brittany and it pissed Santana off to no end.

The blonde sighed lazily and chewed her gum for a moment more- that's another thing Santana didn't like about her. The girl chewed gum nonstop, all fucking day! She probably brushed her teeth with the shit still in her mouth!

Before Santana got the chance to yank the sticky substance out of the girls mouth herself she sat up and removed her sunglasses.


"What?" Brittany asked.

"Your ass. Out of my chair. NOW."

Brittany looked the raging girl up and down before smiling devilishly.

"Oh this is your seat? I'm sorry, I had no idea," she said, flashing her perfect white teeth but not making any attempt to move. Of course she knew it was her seat.

"Move," Santana said assertively, not wanting to show how angry she actually was. Brittany rolled her eyes playfully before standing up. To add to Santana's hate list: how much taller Brittany was then her. She had a good 3 inches on her meaning that the blonde looked down on Santana. No one looks down on Santana.

Suddenly Brittany brought her hand up to stroke the back of Santana's cheek gently.

"As you wish your majesty," she breathed out in a low voice, the gag inducing smell of cigars and spearmint washing over Santana. Her eyes grew colder as she slapped Brittany's hands away.

"Don't you fucking touch me SLUT," Santana growled before shoving past Brittany and plopping into her seat.

The blonde shook her head and made her way to the back of the room to her regular spot in European Geography, next to one Quinn Fabray.

"Hey Luce," she greeted.

"Susan," Quinn nodded back, not looking up from her AP Government homework.


"Your fault."

The two girls met each other's gazes before laughing. Despite Brittany being one of the resident badasses she got on well with cool nerd Lucy 'Quinn' Fabray. Probably because she hasn't slept with her. Yet.

While Quinn was yes, currently second in their class she was less loser nerd with a pocket protector and more hot librarian without the glasses and better dressed. Their friendship began last year when Quinn started tutoring Brittany. Every lesson the taller girl would make a pass at her. It was the first time someone had blatantly ignored her. Usually people either fell at her feet or gave her cheek a firm open handed slap to the face. Can you guess which gender did which more often? Quinn just kept right on going with the lesson, saying something really intelligent to confuse the other girl. Brittany finally stopped trying and they began to have genuinely friendly conversations. Quinn was only one of two people that Brittany considered REAL friends.

"Britt why do you keep doing that?" Quinn asked finally putting away her homework.

"Doing what?"

"Pissing Santana off."

"Because it's fucking hilarious!" she laughed," Seriously did you see her face? I thought she was going to explode with anger!" Quinn shook her head at her friend's antics. Suddenly Quinn's phone vibrated and she laughed as she read it.

"What's got you all giggly?" Britt asked.

"Santana wants to know, and I quote, 'why I would ever want to be friends with someone who was so fucking insufferable.'"

"Ugh I could ask you the same question," Brittany retorted glancing at Santana who was giving her the death glare. Brittany just smiled and waved, that got her to turn around.

That's the thing about Quinn. Not only had she made it past Brittany's slutty advances bur she also managed to break through Santana's bitchy exterior. Quinn was one of Santana's only close friends.

It was probably the only thing her and Brittany had in common and it was yet another reason why she didn't get a slushy facial when she walked down the halls.

This is why she was at a crossroads. As much as she thought what Brittany did was pretty funny she also felt bad for Santana.

"But really. She's just too fun to mess with, I can't help myself!"

"Whatever Britt. Hey are you going to that back to school party tonight at Karofsky's?"

"Why the hell would there be a back to school party now? School's been going on for 2 months."

"Because it's Karofsky." Brittany sighed dramatically.

"And people say I'M an idiot..."

"Yeah I know. So are you going?"

"Uh since when are parties your scene?" Quinn looked away, pretending to focus on the teacher.

"Since Santana begged me to come..."

"Okay, what makes you think that I would go to a party with you when you're just going to ditch me for the Ice Queen? Just because I like to push her buttons doesn't mean I like to be around her."

"Because! She's probably going to ditch me to go make out with Puck," the shorthaired blonde pouted, but Brittany wasn't falling for it.

"Aaand...there will be a lot of drunk hot people there. You haven't gotten any in what? 2 hours?"

"Shut up Quinn!" Brittany whined. Quinn waited patiently ready for the blonde to cave. Brittany sighed.

"Fine. But only because she was bad."

"So babe, Karofsky's tonight?" Puck said to his girlfriend who was sitting arms crossed, eyes narrowed looking like she had been on her period for a whole month.

Sometimes boys are just so oblivious.

"It's been a while since we last...you know," he said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Did I say sometimes? I meant all the time.

Santana gave him a sidelong glare that could make flowers wilt and ominous rain-filled clouds appear from nowhere.

"I'm not in the mood," she grumbled.

"You're never in the mood anymore..." Puck sighed, looking sad and mad at the same time.

"Sorry." Puck turned in his chair fast.

"Do you want to break up or something?" he asked rather loudly, the whole class turned to look at them...if they weren't already. What? They were hot.

"Noah, could you please leave your teenage affairs for outside the classroom?" Mrs. Doosenbury said. Puck scoffed but stayed silent.

"What the hell was that?" Santana whispered.

"Look it's not that I don't think you're hot anymore. Cuz I so do. And don't get me wrong I love the chase but a guy has needs!"

"Look it's just been a tough week. I have papers due in AP Biology and Health Careers, Sue's been down my throat plus blonde bitchie badass over there pissed me off earlier."

"Aww a cat fight? Why didn't you tell me?" Puck whined as Santana rolled her eyes.


"Sorry Mrs. Doosenbury!" he hissed. He waited a second before resuming their conversation.

"I understand you're busy but I just want to feel like I'm part of this relationship."

"Relationship? Please, you're just in it for the sex." Puck looked at her stunned but she continued to look straight ahead. He was about to say something un-reversible before she opened her mouth again.

"Look I'm sorry. I'm just...I'll go with you tonight. And we'll see what happens, okay?" she said, a ghost of a smile forming on her lips.

It was enough for Puck to fall for it though.


Brittany got off of her sleek black 2011 iron 883 Harley-Davidson. It was her baby. Her baby. She had a picture of it in her wallet.

She took off her matching helmet as she dismounted the bike. She was an hour late because a party isn't a party unless everyone is already drunk. Besides, what kind of badass would she be if she showed up to parties on time? a bad one.

Sorta like Puck.

As expected the music could be heard outside and people were already stumbling out of the house drunk, the door was wide open for her to see all the sweaty gyrating bodies inside. Locking her baby she pulled out her phone and sent Quinn a text.

To Q: You better have a drink waiting for me!

She smiled when a reply cane before she even stepped into the house.

From Q: Kitchen;)

As soon as she stepped through the door someone was all up in her business.

"What the hell Brittany! I go down on you in the bathroom DURING SCHOOL and you just up and leave?" the brunette screamed at her. Is it bad that she didn't remember her name and they just had sex barely 7 hours ago?



"I had Spanish with Davi- I mean Mr. Martinez," the blonde shrugged," Now excuse me but I need to go find my friend," she started to push past her but the girl grabbed her wrist.

"My friends were right, you're just a selfish whore," with that came the sharp sting of another slap on her face. Brittany mentally congratulated herself, it was Thursday and she had only gotten 3 slaps that whole week! Personal record right there.

Eventually she made her way to the kitchen where Quinn was indeed waiting for her. Plucking the Red Solo Cup from her hand she took a generous swig.

"You either forgot to put blush on half your face or you just got slapped. Funny, they both are totally realistic," Quinn quipped.

"Huh, the latter. Girl from in between first and second period. Good thing she's as skilled at slapping as she is at eating pussy. Which is bad." Quinn scrunched her nose up in disgust at the vulgar word as she chugged the jack and coke in her hand. Honestly the girl was just full of contradictions.

"So what's your plan for tonight? You gonna find her royal highness?"

"Actually I already found her, she's upstairs with Puckerman right now," she said sticking out her tongue causing us both to laugh.

"What about you? What's your plan?"

"Well, I'm horny because I haven't had a good lay in over a week and I think I'm just gonna do what I do best and see what comes up."

"What? Strip?" she asked playfully...or maybe not.

"NO, Q. Dance."

"Oh like a lapdance?"

"Fuck you," Brittany said before turning away.

"No wait c'mon, you know I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't," Brittany winked before shrugging off her leather jacket revealing the tight white tank top underneath," Now hold my jacket."

Brittany made her way to the make shift dance floor and just let loose. She felt the beat of the music flow through every part of her body, pulling it in different directions as she danced by herself, sweat already dripping down her chest and between her breasts. The alcohol only fueling her energy. She soon tuned everything else out as she lost herself to the music.

Until she felt a hand on her hips that is. She was facing a cute blonde boy with dirty blonde locks and a perfect set of teeth.

"Hey babe, mind if I join you?" he asked. Let's see when was the last time she had dick...oh yeah about a week. She looked at the guy who was doing his best at a flirtatious smile. Oh why not, he was cute enough.

"Yeah sure, if you can keep up."

He couldn't.

He couldn't. Not that many people could keep up with Brittany but it was really bad to be blunt. It seemed he had absolutely no idea what he was doing and didn't even know where to put his hands. Brittany cringed when he attempted to grind into her, it was sad and a total turn off. You know what else is a turn off? When a guy spills beer all over you, which he just did.

"O-oh my god, I'm so sorry," he apologized.

"Ugh it's fine..." Brittany grumbled as she rid herself of her shirt and tried to wipe her now beer drenched hands on it. The guys jaw fell out of his ass as he stared at Brittany with only her bra on. Did he honesty think he was still getting any from her?

"On the bright side, I did get you wet really fast..." he smirked eyeing her breasts. Rolling her eyes she turned and left him there in search of a bathroom. Damn clumsy as guys. This is why she likes girls too.

Finally locating an empty bathroom at the end of the upstairs hallway she began to try to get the beer stains off her shirt. Riding with a leather jacket and nothing underneath was extremely uncomfortable.

"God you're so fucking hot..." Puck said as he grinded upwards towards Santana who was trying to enjoy this. It felt good at first when he held on like he needed her but now the alcohol was catching up to her and she felt a little nauseous. As much as she didn't want to have sex with Puck (where of course he would always finish first and leave her hanging) she just couldn't let him go. They had gotten too comfortable with each other, not to mention how useful he was- well, how useful his 'status' was. As the badass quarterback and bitchy cheerleader power couple of McKinley High her reputation was impenetrable. Sh wanted to keep it that way.

"I want you so bad right now," he groaned, his hard cock already poking at her bare thigh through his boxers.

She continued to kiss his neck, trying to ignore the way her stomach was doing flips- the bad kind.

But it was no use. Abruptly she stopped rocking against him.

"Why'd you stop baby?" he said panting hard.

"I think I'm gonna hurl," Santana said bringing her hand up.

"I'm not THAT bad!"

"No i-it's the alcohol-" The next thing Puck knew he was laying alone mostly naked while his girlfriend left him high and dry again.

Santana barged into the first bathroom she saw, not caring who was getting it on in there. As soon as she opened the door though she ran straight into...fucking Brittany Pierce. Just her luck.

"Move!" Santana demanded pushing her against the sink harshly.

"Fuck!" Brittany screamed in pain. Santana couldn't care less though, all she was focusing on was white porcelain. Seconds later she was on her knees and gagging before her stomach threw its contents back up her throat.

Brittany didn't know what to do, she kinda felt bad for the Latina and her throw up was getting all over her beautiful hair.

Without even realizing it the blonde was holding her hair back for her. Don't ask her why she was doing it- she would probably blame it on the alcohol.

Brittany watched as the brunette panted, how her back muscles tightened with each wretch. Watching her all vulnerable was...kind of a turn on.

Ew no Brittany what are you thinking. She's a cold-hearted bitch and you don't like her and you definitely don't think anyone throwing up could be sexy, the girl thought.

"What are you doing here?" Santana asked, trying to be intimidating but came out more breathy.

"It was getting in your hair." Santana groaned before dry heaving but nothing came out.

"Since when do you care?"

"I don't." Santana was about to tell her to get the hell out but then was gagging on air again. She decided to let it go for now. Usually she was much better at holding her poison but since she knew the only way she'd be able to take care of Puck was to get insanely drunk she went a little overboard.

Brittany stayed with her for the next few minutes and brushed stray locks back when they fell loose from her tender hands.

Finally Santana figured she was through and leaned back, placing her head back on the wall as Brittany let go of her.

Santana didn't like the way she was looking at her. Almost like she was...concerned. Deciding not to make a venous comment in fear that the blonde would run and tell everyone of her vulnerability she choked out a barely there 'thank you.'

"No problem," the blonde smiled. In another moment of weakness Santana admired Brittany's beauty- how her long blond blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders and...

Oh shit. She was shirtless.

Not even noticing her ogling she raked her gaze over the pink bra and wondered what was just beneath the silky fabric...

"Umm Santana?" Brittany asked, snapping Santana out of her haze.


"I'm gonna...go now."

"Okay," this was the first time Santana didn't have contempt in her voice...probably because he was so confused.

Brittany looked the girl up and down once more before turning away.

"Pierce?" Santana called, commanding her once again to stop.


"This doesn't mean we're friends or anything. I still don't like you." Brittany flashed her one last grin before giving her signature wink.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

A/N2: I know, a little slow. The next chapter will be up soonish so you can get the gist of the story. Please review!