Everyone told me that I'd have a 'very long time' to live my life and do everything that I wanted to do. But they were wrong. It wasn't anyone's fault or anything, I did nothing, my parents did nothing, and the people around me did nothing. But in all this time doing nothing…something happened. My body didn't want me to live a 'very long time' and it brought an illness forth, an illness that has been lying dormant within every single one of my family members for years.
I was three years old when I found out I'm going to die.
There is a memory I clearly remember of me telling my parents all of my childhood fantasies and everything I want to do… and I had become so concerned about whether or not I'll actually be able to do it. My mother told me that if I want to I can and my father had chimed in saying I have plenty of time. Three weeks later we found out I didn't, and I never will.
During school I lived with the knowledge knowing that I won't be able to laugh and play with these kids for all that long, I won't be able to even reach the tender age of adulthood. No, I never will, and so I did what I wanted, was the top of my class without trying, and I ignored everyone. I was sent to the school counselor seventeen times before my parents ordered the school to stop and informed them of my unfortunate circumstances. That's when I found something that I hated. For the first time in my six years of life I found something I hated beyond comprehension.
I hate pity.
Every single one of my teachers pities me, all because I'm going to die. It's disgusting how selfish they are. Each and every one of them will die too! It's the fact that I have all of this… potential. The potential of youth is a sad thing after all… if taken away. I lived all the way to fifth grade and the teachers, although wary of my behavior, still allowed me to do as I pleased. My complexion was becoming paler and of course I'm losing myself as well. Twenty-three pills I have to take just to survive the day. It's an exaggeration of course but if I miss a single pill then I'll be rushed to the hospital.
Potential is a sad thing to lose, but I didn't care. My parents allowed me to do whatever I want, and in order to ensure their pity got me everything… I remained top of my class and pretended like I really cared about school. One day when I got to school I walked to the back of the playground up on this large hill that at the very top there was this brick wall that went along the hill until it curved downward onto the level ground. I was sitting on top of the hill with my notebook full of poetry that I hope will be published when I die. I'm a dead fifth grader; they better damn well publish these. The doctor has no hopes of me moving onto middle school which means that this is my last year.
"You look stupid." A girl giggled making me look up at her in annoyance. Long blue hair with clear brown eyes, she's a fool if she thinks she will affect a dying man. I smiled icily at that, I might as well refer to myself as a man now since I will never become one. The girl just frowned softly and looked at me like I'm crazy. "The teachers let you get away with everything, you're such a brat!" She grumbled as I just rolled my eyes at her antics.
"Who are you?" I asked acidly causing her eyes to widen at me.
"I've been in your class since Kindergarten!" She growled and folded her arms with tears in her eyes. "My name is Medaka." She explained abruptly with a serious look on her face.
"I'm Misogi." I informed her in a bored tone causing her to smile at me.
"Just because you need to know my name doesn't mean I need to know yours. Besides, when I'm a doctor one day I need to be able to remember names all the time." She said with such a confident grin that I had to look her over warily.
"I'm not going to be anything." I said softly and then looked down at my book full of dark evil poetry. She just smiled wider than before and moved closer to me.
"What do you mean?" Medaka questioned. Her eyes were full of innocence and curiosity but I knew that somewhere deep inside there's a darkness in her like with everyone. She's going to die, just like me. That made my mood a little better.
"I'm dying, won't even last the year." I smirked causing her to frown suddenly as tears began to fill her eyes. I stood up then and stretched before looking at the sky which looked so much like her hair.
"How can you say it like it's not happening to you?" She demanded but I just shrugged nonchalantly.
I didn't see her again.
In the hospital as they were preparing to give me as comfortable a passing as I could muster, I looked out the window at the sky. "Medaka the Bloody Idiot… I hope you die well." I whispered before closing my eyes for the last time.