She had always been so endlessly fascinating, her skin of greyscale and her sad violet eyes. He liked to watch her, sometimes. His eyes of gentle green swept over her frame often, he never got caught though, or she'd rip his eyes out. That was just another thing that he found fascinating about her, she had the bravery of a thousand men and a kindling fire of anger that burst from her as boundless dark energy that nobody would want to encounter. She didn't like attention, but she didn't want to end up alone. She was so indescribably beautiful. He did not deny his feelings for her. He was the only one to know of them, but if anyone were to ask he wouldn't lie.
He was the jokester, the 'class clown' for lack of a better term. None of his friends thought him mature enough to harbour such intense emotion. None of them considered him grown-up enough to know what he wanted in the long-run. But he did. He wanted her. He had for longer than even he realised. He was cowardly though, he would never try and pursue her for fear of her rejection, and since his friends were oblivious to the level of his feeling, there was no one to give him advice or encouragement. He stewed in his cowardice.
He was mesmerised by everything she did. He watched her as she read in silence, her eyes flicking rapidly from line to line, her features shifting every now and then with an emotion brought on by the words she read so intently. He watched her as she meditated atop the tower, her voice devoid of any inflection as she murmured her chant, her purple hair ruffling in the breeze and shining magenta in the light of the setting sun. He watched her as she fought criminals, encased in a dark aura and broadcasting her power, her eyes glowing and mouth scowling. She was always beautiful.
On many occasions they'd assisted each other in battle, and not in the normal teamwork kind of way. They always seemed to lock eyes from across the room, or rush to each other specifically in times of crisis. Even though Beast Boy felt bad admitting it, he cared for Raven's safety more than the others'. He wondered if Raven felt the same, because often mid-fight he'd catch her eyes on him, an expression of extreme determination etched upon her hauntingly beautiful face. He fervently hoped that she cared for him in the same capacity that he cared for her. But hope was all he could do.
They were in a fight with Dr Light; it was taking longer than usual to apprehend him. Beast Boy knew, as did all the Titans, that Raven and Dr Light had a history of a sort. Dr Light had been terrified of Raven since that evening when rage had been released. Beast Boy knew that Raven didn't like being considered dark, evil or even 'creepy' because it made her think too much of her father. Even though Raven had never actually said it, Beast Boy knew that Raven disliked Dr Light more than any of the other lowlifes they'd come up against, because when he looked at her, she would see the fright in his eyes, and it would crush her already fragile self-esteem. Dr Light had shot Beast Boy with a solar powered blaster, the blinding light and crackling electricity sending him rocketing backward, slamming mercilessly into the wall. Raven was there almost instantly, aiding him to his feet and checking him for injuries.
"Are you alright, Gar?" she asked softly, but urgently.
Beast Boy had started going by his birth name, he had grown older and found that his 'super hero persona' was a tad childish for his personal taste. The other Titans often opted for sticking with the nickname of BB, though. He always got a chill when Raven called him 'Gar', because it was his name, his real name. She spoke it so gently every time and Beast Boy found it hard to breathe when he heard it.
"I'm fine, Rae. Thanks." He told her just as softly, his attention quickly returning to the fight at hand.
They were a few short feet apart, both braced for an attack. Raven levitated just above Beast Boy's head, close enough to grab him out of harm's way if need be. Raven had become increasingly protective over Beast Boy. There were still times where she wanted to tear her hair out in his presence and she was still short-tempered and impatient, but Beast Boy had really grown on her. In a lot of ways Beast Boy had done more for her than the other Titans, though Raven knew her bond with Robin would never be severed, it was purely platonic. Robin was there for Raven in the way that he was there for the rest of the team, he was their leader, their trusted commander and Raven's powers had intensified their connection but had not affected their outward feelings. Beast Boy had been there for Raven in ways she hadn't anticipated. When she felt broken, Beast Boy helped her see that she wasn't. When she felt alone, Beast Boy let her know that she never would be. Beast Boy's gentle words were a balm for Raven's inner wounds, the ones that nobody could see because they were nothing more than aches brought on by things she'd convinced herself were true, when she was the only who thought them. Beast Boy always seemed to know they were there though, and he always helped sooth them. She marvelled at how he did that. Beast Boy could be immature, obnoxious and maybe even a little naïve, but he felt so purely. His heart was on his sleeve and his thoughts swam in his eyes. He saw right to the core of everything. He always knew what she needed. He never failed to say the words she longed to hear. Raven would never conceive the limitations in his vocabulary. She didn't know that she was the only word he knew.
Beast boy often planned out exactly what he would say to Raven if the opportunity ever presented itself. He confessed his love and endless fascination to himself in a thousand different ways, some simple, some complex, some half-finished; some rushed with words stumbled over. It made him feel an infinitesimal amount better to say it out loud, even if she couldn't hear it. Whenever Raven was hurting, Beast Boy knew what to say, without even trying. His diction was more often than not restricted to bad jokes, movie trivia and lectures about the benefit of tofu but when Raven needed comforting the words fell off his tongue like a script that Shakespeare himself would've creamed over, and it was due to her. Raven brought out the best in Beast Boy. He would be anything for her. He would do anything for her.
Raven had seen the changes in Beast Boy over the years. She'd never really disliked him as such, it was just that in the beginning she herself was a lot more uptight and easily-agitated and that combined with Beast Boy's jovial nature and childish approach almost always ended in heated arguments and unjustified resentment. But as the time passed Raven had loosened up and Beast Boy had grown up and they'd picked each other up along the way enough times for each of them to notice the spark between them. Raven found Gar to be endearing, charming even. Though she was reluctant to admit it, she also found him funny. She would forever be grateful of his endless quest to make her smile, because he was the only person in her entire life that'd made such an obvious attempt at bringing her happiness. The years had been kind to Beast Boy too, he was nearly a foot taller than her now, his strong jawline complimented his dimpled smirk, his chiselled chest and well-toned arms had caused Raven's lust to be unleashed. Raven dreaded to think what would happen if Beast Boy were to get through the mirror now.
Raven and Beast Boy had long ago accepted that their relationship was of a dynamic very different from the ones they shared with the other Titans. Neither one of them wanted to talk about it, simply because they didn't have the words to say. They danced around their feelings, refusing to address the charged silence that often fell between them after private moments. Raven and Beast Boy had shared quite a few moments that they would never speak of to the other Titans, simply because they might mean less if they were broadcast. Even though these conversations were fleeting and infrequent, they brought both of them such comfort just in knowing that the other was there for them explicitly. No matter how much these moments meant however, after the teens were separated they'd always berate themselves for words they'd left unsaid. It was a matter of not enough for fear of giving too much.
As the confrontation continued Dr Light flipped a switch on the arm of his suit, not wanting to find out what it activated Raven immediately levitate toward him. Dr Light stumbled back, his bravado shattered by Raven's advancing dark. Beast Boy watched, infuriated as hurt, hatred and determination flashed in Raven's violet eyes. Beast boy despised Dr Light in a way that no one would ever understand. Dr Light looked at Raven as if she were the menace, as if she were the threat, he was a villain, a self-proclaimed 'bad guy' yet he looked at Raven like she was the monster under the bed, the ghoul in the cupboard, the face of evil's finest. Beast Boy hated him for his undignified reaction to the woman that had been the object of Beast Boy's affections for longer than anyone would've believed.
Raven instantly overcame her insecurity as she screamed in exertion, using a little too much energy due to hatred for her opponent. Dr Light was rocketed back, knocking over several expensive looking machines in the large power plant he'd been harvesting energy from. Beast Boy permitted himself a smug grin as Raven delivered the final blow. Dr Light was knocked unconscious and easily deposited into a police car by Robin and Cyborg.
"Nice shot, Rae." Beast Boy called to her, hoping to erase the remnants of her insecurity that he was sure she was still struggling with.
Raven gave him the tiniest of smiles, these smiles were few and far between, and they were his and his alone. He cherished each and every one.
It was late that night; the sun had long fallen and was not soon to be rising again. Beat Boy had been heading for a midnight snack, he did this most nights, his metabolism shifted a lot between different animal forms often causing him to have a weak bladder and impressive appetite, the more morphing he did, the worse it got. Each and every time he took the trip to the kitchen when the rest of the team were sleeping he'd always stop outside Raven's door, just long enough for his animal senses to pick up the sound of her even breathing, then he'd move on. He liked knowing that she slept peacefully. He liked knowing she was safe.
That night however, he didn't hear breathing at all. He panicked, pushing the door open immediately, without thinking of pros and cons. He sighed with deep relief when he found her bed empty, before realising that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Knowing Raven as well as he did, there was only one place she could be.
Sure enough, Beast Boy found Raven on the roof's edge, gazing out over the water, a moonlight pathway shimmering on its surface. The stars dotted the dark sky, swirling black with midnight blue and twinkling light. Raven reminded Beast Boy of a peaceful night, beautiful despite its darkness. Nobody could question the fascinating, otherworldly beauty of a vast, starry sky. Raven was fascinating. Raven was otherworldly. Raven was beautiful.
"Hey, Rae." Beast Boy greeted softly as he sat himself beside her.
"Gar, what're you doing up?" she asked just as gently, obvious curiosity the only inflection on her speech.
"I was hungry. I didn't hear anything from your room; I figured you'd be here." He shrugged.
"Don't you find it strange? How we can read each other so well…" she mused.
"I think it's a good thing…" he admitted.
"It's helped a lot. You always know what to say to make me feel better. I feel like sometimes you're the only one who really knows what I need." Raven confessed, Beast Boy's animal senses picking up her shyly whispered words.
"You're not exactly wrong about that…I don't know how to explain it…it's just…I never really know what to say to you, y'know, conversation wise. When we first met the only thing that came to mind were shitty jokes…you had me tongue-tied…but it seems that whenever there's something specific that you need someone to tell you…I'm always able to blurt it out just right, in the heat of the moment…I suppose that's because I don't want anybody else to say the things you need to hear…because I want you to need me. I want to make you feel better." Beast Boy finally told her.
"You did it again." She said, a tiny smile gracing her lips. Her "Beast Boy" smile.
"Did what?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"Told me exactly what I needed to hear." She explained.
Beast Boy smiled wistfully, and tentatively took a hold of Raven's hand. It wasn't meant to be a romantic act as such, it was just such a simple form of contact, and Beast Boy felt that he needed to touch her; he felt comfort in her skin on his. She linked their fingers.
"Do you think we'll always be like this?" Beast Boy asked gently, hopefully.
"I don't see any reason why we shouldn't be," was her response. Beast Boy knew her well enough to know that it was a promise.
That was how they communicated. They were infatuated and fascinated from a distance. They joined in private moments. They spoke the words they needed to in order to comfort the other. And one day Raven would need to be told that she was loved. And Beast Boy wouldn't hesitate to tell her. Until then they'd sit in silence and stare at the stares, their linking fingers joining them. Those moments, those words were as infinite as the stars.
Okay, this ended up at different place than where it started…But, yeah. I haven't written this pairing in so long, I suppose I missed them. I've been watching a lot of Teen Titans lately and I needed something to help with my writer's block. So, here it is. I'm actually rather happy with this. I think it was a lot more about character development and interaction than the story for me, so I'd really appreciate any opinions.