Innocence is Only a Perception

Chapter 8

The next morning – Thursday morning – the day that auditions for the male lead in the Nationals competition would take place – the girls drove themselves to school in their respective cars, though they knew that, their dance off avoidance would only go so far and eventually they would have to talk to each other.

But Santana couldn't talk to Rachel – not yet. She needed to think more, and she figured that Rachel did too. Making her way into the school and towards her locker, Santana was lost in thought – so much so that she didn't see the tiny brunette plaguing her thoughts with her eyes glazed over and lost in her own was headed right for her. She didn't even acknowledge her until the two had collided into each other.

"Oh, sorry- Rachel..." Santana gasped out, looking at the girl. She looked ragged, like she was up all night, either crying or deep in thought – Santana suspected both, as she had had the same look this morning when she rolled out of bed.

"Santana..." Rachel sighed, "I- Can we-"

"No," Santana said right off. "No, we can't talk right now, Rachel. I need to think, I need to figure some things out... And I think you do too."

"Santana, I'm sorry, I just-"

"Please don't, Rach. Please?" Santana pleaded with her, holding her hand up to silence her. Santana turned away and walked back down the hallway towards the choir room and Mr. Schue's office.


"No, Santana. The answer is no," Mr. Schue said firmly.

"What? So Kurt is allowed to audition for a piece sung by a chick and Mercedes is allowed to play a tranny in a school play, but I'm not allowed to even audition to sing with Rachel at Nationals?" Santana's arms were crossed and her eyebrow arched in a defiant stare to her teacher.

"That was different, Santana. Kurt and Mercedes playing... unconventional parts didn't jeopardize the winning or losing of a National level competition. You remember what happened with Kurt and Blaine with the Warblers."

"That is different," Santana retorted. "Kurt and Blaine aren't Rachel and I. You've heard us sing together! We... we move people." Santana dropped her arms and downcast her eyes, sighing as she made a last ditch effort to convince him, "Please, Mr. Schuester, at least let me try out."


"Thank you, Sam. That was great," Mr. Schue said into the microphone on the directors table in the audience of the auditorium. The blonde boy nodded in thanks and walked off the stage.

Rachel then turned to her teacher and whispered, "He was very good, Mr. Schue. How many more do we have left?"

Mr. Schue, who was checking off Sam's name from the sign-up sheet beneath Mike, Artie, and Blaine's names, looked down the list and plainly said, "Two." He turned back to her, "Puck is next."

Rachel smiled excitedly and leaned in to speak into the microphone, "Come on out, Noah."

Puck walked out from the stage wings and to the middle of the stage, carrying his guitar. He gripped the microphone in his hand and greeted his audience of two before beginning to strum his guitar. He sang Neil Diamond's "Home Before Dark", and sang it beautifully.

When he finished Rachel leaned back over to the microphone on the table and said, "That was beautiful, Noah. Thank you very much." He did as Sam did before him, nodded politely and walked off stage. "One more to go?" Rachel asks, and gets a nod in response from her teacher. She reaches across and takes the paper from him and looks it over and her eyes go wide. There, below Puck's scratched out name, in a curly, feminine print is the name- "Santana Lopez?" Rachel's shocked voice raises enough that the microphone picks it up and it calls the girl in question from the wings. Rachel looks up from the paper and at the girl, "What are you doing here? This is- you can't do this solo, it's... well, it's for the boys."

"Please, Rachel," Santana finally says into the mic at the center of the stage, "Mr. Schue said that it was okay if I at least tried out. We sound good together and you know it. We could take Nationals together."

"But..." Rachel hesitated, trying to find an argument, "Kurt and Blaine-"

"Kurt and Blaine weren't you and me, Rach. That's exactly what I told Schue and I know that I'm right," Santana said confidently. "Just let me sing."

Rachel looked nervously from Santana, to her teacher, and then back at the girl on stage before giving a hesitant nod. Santana let out a shaky breath she didn't even know she was holding in before gripping the microphone and dropping her head to gather herself and when the music started she looked up and stared straight at Rachel.

"Hold on, what's the rush, what's the rush we're not done are we

Cause I don't need to change this atmosphere we've made if

You can stay one more hour, can you stay one more hour

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay"

Santana sang so earnestly, and her eyes never left Rachel's face as she tried to gage her reaction. However the girl's features were cold and emotionless as she attempted to not let her true feeling show and let Santana know just how vulnerable she was when it came to the Latina.

"Hold on, I'll be here when it's all done you know

Cause what's the point in chasing if I can't enjoy your face and

We can't be wrong tonight, can we be wrong tonight?

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay

I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me"

Santana let tears spring to her eyes as she let her true feeling come to the surface, something that she never allowed herself to do, but Rachel was different. Rachel was someone that Santana trusted with her everything and she knew that if Rachel knew how Santana truly felt about her then she wouldn't hurt her like Brittany did... or like anyone else did for that matter.

"And if I was running, you'd be the one who I would be running to

And if I was crying, you would be lining the cloud that would pull me through

And if I was scared, then I would be glad to tell you and walk away

But I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in to you

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay

I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me"

Finally, Santana saw a flicker of emotion pass over Rachel's face, it was one of guilt and what looked to be something akin to love, however it was too soon to tell if that was what Rachel was truly feeling.

"You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay

I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

If I was running

If I was crying

If I was scared

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me"

A tear fell down Rachel's cheek and she tried to wipe it away quickly, but she knew that Santana had already seen it. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, rachel excused herself to her teacher and got up from the table and taking brisk steps to the back of the auditorium where she found solace and peace from Santana's intense gaze on the other side of the door. She knew, however, that her solace and peace wouldn't last long, because Santana was amazing, as she always is and she knew that, even if she fought Mr. Schuester, he would still insist that the girls sing together at Nationals. Not only that, though, Rachel knew that Santana had more to say and the girl, being as stubborn as she is, wouldn't let Rachel just let lie what had happened and what the both of them so desperately want to happen, no matter what Rachel insists.


A/N: Song used is called "Find A Way" by Safetysuit. So, how is everyone liking the story? I've gotten very few reviews and I'm sort of getting discouraged and don't feel like writing is worth it if you guys don't enjoy it.