A/N: Oh hey. So I'm back with my tail between my legs. We've learned that multi-chapter stories are not my thing. I've deleted that unfinished one now- there's just no point. Aaaaaanyway. This is just a silly little fic I've been thinking about for a while. Hope you like it. Short one-shot.
"Jesus, Harry! Come quickly," Ron bounded into the room, "you've got to see...don't bloody do that in front of me!" he finished in disgust, looking pointedly away as Harry detatched himself guiltily from Ron's younger sister and stood up from the sofa.
"In front of you? You're the one that burst in without-" sensing a fight coming on, Harry hastily intervened, cutting off Ginny mid-sentence.
"Er- what was it you wanted me to see, Ron?"
"Both of you actually. It's Hermione's computer-thingy. She's on the interweb. You've got to come and see!"
Perplexed, Harry and Ginny followed Ron as he bounded from the living room. Climbing the stairs, they found Hermione in a small box-room, sat at a desk and staring at a computer screen. She glanced up as they entered.
"They call it fanfiction...it's a bunch of muggles who've read those books about us, and they've written fiction with us as the characters."
"Christ..." murmered Harry, moving behind Hermione's chair and squinting at the screen too.
"What a bunch of losers." giggled Ginny, "Wonder how many of them are single?"
"The vast majority I'd imagine." said Ron, rufully.
"What's that one about?" said Harry, pressing his index finger against the screen. "...says something about me and Sirius...what does 'Rated M' mean?"
"I don't know." said Hermione, clicking on the offending title.
For a minute or so, all four wizards read the fiction. Hermione- who read the fastest- gave a little gasp.
"Harry- don't read! No, I'll go back!"
"EWWwWWWW!" shrieked Ginny.
"Oh no... oh God!" Harry held a hand up to his mouth, "that's disgusting...he was my godfather!"
"That's sick..." murmered Ron, looking green.
Hermione chose another title from the list.
"Squiddledore, what's Squiddledore?" said Ron, leaning over Hermione to read. "What's Dumbledore doing to the Giant...OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"
"That's wrong!" gasped Harry, as Ginny shook her head.
"Dramione? That keeps cropping up...what's that?" said Hermione, scrolling down. "Oh no. Oh no! No! I'd never do that with Malfoy! That's horrible! Where the hell have they got the basis for that pairing?"
"It's all so out of character!"
"Harry!" said Ginny, in alarm, grasping her boyfriend's arm. "You never told me all muggles are perverts!"
"I didn't think they were...hang on." Harry took contol of the mouse, crouching beside Hermione's chair, "there's one about us Ginny."
Again, they read in silence.
"Aww..." said Ginny, softly, placing a hand upon Harry's head. "This is nice."
"It's bloody well written," Ron said, crouching beside Harry, the better to look at the screen. "I'm not saying I like reading about you two getting it on...but this writer's...well..."
"Amazing." whispered Hermione, finishing Ron's sentence for him.
"The control over the prose is phenomenal..." murmered an awestruck Ginny.
"And they really understand us...and there's no odd pairings." Harry said, his voice now reverent.
"Well- I know my writers," said Hermione, "and this is certainly the next bard we're reading."
"Yeah." agreed Ron. "What's the penname?"
"Hang on." said Hermione, scrolling up. "It's...queenoftherandomoneandonly."
A/N: Sorry- couldn't resist! Whack us a review if you've got the time. Most appreciated. Thaaanks.