"Bernard, one thing has always puzzled me about you."

"And might what this petite thingy be, mon ami Leo. You look, how they say, big and butchy, with your little-bitty ponies' tail and tight denim panties."

"It's pants, you dumb Canadian – panties are worn underneath, when they're worn at all. Me, I go commando."

"It does chafe, no?"

"NO! Stop distracting me. How come I understand Jacques and Jean perfectly well – but you, I barely work out a single thing you say?"

"You, perhaps, inside wood chopper?"

"Is that a slur on my sexuality that I don't quite understand?"