This one-shot is dedicated to Lady Ayami since her birthday is today. I really hope that this meets her expectations. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! I LOVE YOU!
Thanks to OldStoneFace for the idea at the end. I probably found it funnier than I should have….
"Boss, why don't you just take Haruhi out on a date?" Hikaru asked, looking at the Host Club president as he paced the room. He had forgotten why the man was freaking out now. It was so common that it tended to just blur together in his mind. It was something about Haruhi…
"Yeah. I mean, you obviously like her so wouldn't the next step be asking her out on a date?" Kaoru added, leaning on his twin to get more comfortable.
"What?" Tamaki stopped in mid-step, probably a bad idea since he fell on the floor not three seconds later. He crawled his way to the couch where the twins sat and pulled himself up to face them. The twins gave him a weird look.
"You're always going on about how you'd like to do things with her," Hikaru pointed out.
"So why don't you actually go and do some of those things?" Kaoru finished. Tamaki just gaped at them, like he didn't understand what they were talking about.
"Oh yes! Tama-chan should take Haru-chan on a date!" Honey butted in. "I don't think Haru-chan has ever gone on an official date before!"
Tamaki Suoh turned his bewildered gaze on the smaller boy.
"What? Haruhi has never gone on a date?" His voice began to rise and his arms waved theatrically. "Oh Haruhi! Don't you worry! I'll make sure you get taken on a date!"
"I'm sure she's been on plenty of dates," Kyoya interjected calmly, sipping his tea. "But I'm sure that they've all been the typical, commoner type date that consists of a movie and a dinner. Sounds pretty boring, if you ask me."
"A movie and dinner?" Tamaki questioned. "Is that truly what commoners do on dates?"
Even the others looked curious.
"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Kyoya muttered as he looked up at the clock. "She'll be arriving soon."
When Haruhi Fujioka walked into the room, she immediately stopped as all eyes turned on her. She fidgeted awkwardly and shifted the bag in her arms.
"Sorry I'm late. I was picking up more of that instant coffee for Sempai," she mumbled.
"Haru-chan, do commoners really go to the movies and dinner for dates?" Honey asked. The normal debate in Haruhi's head began. She questioned herself almost daily if she wanted to run or if it was safe to stay. Today, she felt more like running but she ultimately decided to stay. She always did.
"Um, I guess. I don't really know since I've never been on one," she muttered. "Not that I would want to. Movies and dinner doesn't exactly sound like fun."
When Tamaki started yelling about how he was going to take her on a date that she would enjoy, Haruhi tuned him out like she was accustomed to doing. He would be onto another crazy idea soon enough.
That weekend, when Honey and Mori dragged Haruhi out of bed, she resigned herself to another weekend of putting up with Tamaki's crazy plans. Why couldn't he realize that weekends were meant for relaxing and just leave her alone? Even if it was just one weekend. That's all she wanted.
The first part of the date Tamaki had planned was dog walking. However, Haruhi was completely oblivious to the fact that it was a date. The other Host Club members didn't really blame her though. Dog walking wasn't exactly what could be considered a "normal" date, by anybody's standards.
They met as a group to gather up the dogs and then split up, each group heading in different directions. Hikaru and Kaoru went east, Honey and Mori went west, and Haruhi and Tamaki went north. Kyoya went back to school to deal with the money.
"Oh, Haruhi. That dog looks too big for you to handle! Let me do that for you!" Tamaki claimed the largest dog of the three Haruhi was walking, adding the leash to the other four in his hand. Haruhi protested at first but ultimately gave in, too tired to argue too much with the Host Club president at the current moment.
A few minutes later, Tamaki did the same thing.
"Oh Haruhi, that dog looks way too lively for you. Let me take him!" Before Haruhi could protest, Tamaki claimed the dog's leash from her. Haruhi rolled her eyes. He would regret it later most likely. However, it was Tamaki. He always took on too much, more than he could handle. Now she was left walking a tired Yorkshire terrier. Feeling a slight bit of pity for the clearly unhappy dog, the girl picked him up and was instantly showered with doggy kisses.
"Stop that," she giggled, pulling her face away and wiping her face on her shirtsleeve. She missed Tamaki's clearly envious look at the dog.
"Wouldn't this be romantic?" the overly energetic boy questioned. Haruhi looked at him oddly but shrugged.
"Initially, maybe, but it gets kind of disgusting when you have to pick up the poop," she commented, pointing to the pile her sempai had just stepped into and prepared herself for a scene.
When the group met up later, Tamaki was a bit on the…smellier side. The twins waved their hands in front of their noses as the pair walked up.
"What happened to you, boss?" Kaoru asked.
"Yeah, it smells like you fell into a pile of dog crap," Hikaru agreed. Tamaki turned a bright red.
"So how much money did we make for the Club?" Haruhi asked Kyoya who looked down at her from the top of his glasses.
"I don't believe it," Kaoru whispered to his brother. "She didn't even realize that this was a date."
The entire Host Club winced as a mailman drove by and the dogs Tamaki was holding tore after it, dragging him along with them.
"Stop, stop, stop!" Tamaki cried.
They were a bit late for the second part of the date since Tamaki had to shower and change after his experience with the dogs but they ended up making it in time—it being the plane they had to board to go skydiving. The only ones who had ever gone before were Honey and Mori but the twins had convinced Tamaki that Haruhi would become so afraid of jumping, that she would cling desperately to the blond and beg him to save her—something that was considered romantic.
However, there was one thing they hadn't taken into consideration.
Haruhi wasn't afraid of heights.
"Why exactly are we going skydiving again?" The girl asked as they were preparing.
"Because it's fun!" Honey giggled. "Even Taka-chan likes it!"
Haruhi shrugged. That seemed reason enough for her. It was always best to accept the simplest explanation for why the Host Club did some things.
Tamaki looked at the twins in confusion and gestured to Haruhi.
"Why isn't it working?" he mouthed silently to them. They shrugged. They had no more clue than he did.
"Come on, Sempai. Let's go first," Haruhi suggested. Tamaki's eyes widened as the girl began to drag him to the door they would jump out of.
"No! Wait, Haruhi! I don't think you want to do—" he cut off abruptly as Haruhi pushed him forward and he stumbled out onto the platform and fell. Haruhi promptly followed him.
"Sempai, isn't this fun?" Haruhi called to him as she caught up. Tamaki's face looked green and became greener whenever he looked down. When they finally landed, the blond was officially traumatized. It would be a long time before he got on a plane again. There was also another thing that was traumatizing him.
"It didn't work!" he sobbed to the twins. "Why didn't it work?"
"The parachute worked just fine, Sempai," Haruhi tried to placate him. "There just happened to be a tree in the way."
"Thank you for your help," Mori told the firemen who had helped get the Host Club president out of the tree.
"It wasn't that!" Tamaki wailed at the top of his lungs. "You were supposed to be scared! You were supposed to beg me to help you! It was supposed to be romantic!"
"Romantic?" Haruhi questioned, looking at the other members of the Host Club. Most of them shrugged and Haruhi resisted the urge to sigh. No doubt that Tamaki had come up with the plan and they had just gone along with it. That was normally the case.
"I believe that he tried to take you out on a date," Kyoya commented. Haruhi facepalmed. "I also believe that he tried to do something more interesting since you said that you wouldn't be interested in the usual movie and dinner."
"Oh, Sempai," she mumbled. "When you take someone out for a date, it's supposed to be just two people. You're also supposed to make sure the person knows it's a date beforehand and has planned for the date."
Her comments brought a new round of wails and cries of failure from the eccentric president.
"Did you not like it, Haru-chan?" Honey asked her. "Tama-chan worked really hard to make sure that you would enjoy it."
Haruhi stammered awkwardly for a few minutes before she regained use of her tongue.
"It was fun, but I wouldn't have seen it as a date unless I had been told," she admitted. Tamaki's cries, which had been dying down, increased again. Haruhi sighed.
"Honestly Sempai, you should have just taken me for a Lobotomy for Two special. I would have a better chance of realizing that was a date," Haruhi grumbled under her breath.
"A Lobotomy for Two special? Is that what you commoners do for fun?" Tamaki brightened up and looked amazed by the idea.
"Kind of makes sense," Hikaru muttered to his twin under his breath.
"Now that she mentions it, yeah, it kind of does," Kaoru agreed.
"Especially when you go online and read what some people are saying," Hikaru pointed out.
"I promise you that next time, Haruhi, I will take you out for a Lobotomy for Two!" Tamaki declared. Haruhi facepalmed and sent pleading glances to Kyoya to help her out of this situation.
Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!