Disclaimer: Before I forget, I do not own Doctor Who or Harry Potter.

Requests and prompts accepted.

This is a one-shot series about what different Who characters deepest desires would be if they looked into the Mirror of Erised, and what they would tell other people it is.

This is NOT a crossover.

Several people have asked me to do chapters for the Doctor's enemies, but then I had an idea for another series and decided to combine the two. Therefore, the next few updates will be me mercilessly mocking all Whovian aliens.

The Cybermen (and what they do when nobody's looking)

Cyberman A: how do you feel

Cyberman B: I feel nothing

Cyberman A: That is good. I also feel nothing

Cyberman B: I think the Doctor is a jerk

Cyberman A: I concur with your observation

Cyberman B: We just want to expand our species. Why must he always destroy us

Cyberman A: I do not know. Just because we cannot feel love does not mean we do not deserve it

Cyberman B: I concur

Cyberman A: I must return to my assigned duty. I will save this conversation in my data log

Cyberman B: I must also return to my assigned duty. I will also save this conversation in my data log.


A/N: There are no question marks because Cybermen don't speak with inflections. Cyberman oil cooler chats – repetitive and oddly philosophical.