Well hey there! I'm glad you all clicked on my story :) If you read The Words On Her Skin, you probably know that I'm a former cutter. I got so much encouraging, positive feedback and I want you all to know that I love you. Really, I do. You gave me the strength to stop, and this time I think it's for good! Again, thank you all a bagillion times!
Also, there's an explanation of this story's background at the end so check it out.
Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, but I do own your mom if you know what I mean ;)
He said he would never leave her.
"Leave me alone, Mom!" Cat screams as loud as she can before slamming the door. There's still a disappointingly high amount of anger left boiling up, up, up inside her belly, fury flooding her body as she takes her phone out of her pocket. Using all her might, she hurls it at her wall and it breaks with a satisfying crack.
She falls on her pink bedspread, finally allowing herself to break down.
This isn't how it was supposed to be.
Cat was contentedly watching an episode of I Married My Mom when Beck called her. She picked up her phone excitedly, squealing a bit.
"Hey, beautiful." Beck said when she answered. Even though it had been almost a year, she couldn't help the beautifully wonderful butterflies that always formed in the pit of her stomach when her boyfriend spoke. "I have something to tell you."
Cat frowned, getting worried at his tone. Was Beck really fifty years old and just had a really good makeup artist? Did she forget deodorant that morning and had smelled bad all day? WERE FLASH DRIVES TAKING OVER THE WORLD?
"DON'T LET THEM EAT MY COMPUTER!" Cat shrieked into the phone in a panic, making Beck wince.
"Nothing. What's up, buttercup?" Cat giggled at her little rhyme; she couldn't help but be creative with her words sometimes.
"You're adorable. Well, you know how you and I planned on not going to college, that we'd just start auditioning for movies straight out of high school?"
She grinned just at the mention of their plans as she began twirling a piece of her crimson hair. "Uh huh!"
There was a long pause at the other end of the phone. "Well…Baby girl, I'm auditioning for Julliard." Cat's mouth went dry as she nearly dropped her phone. "Cat? Are you there, babe?" Beck asked in a worried tone of voice.
"J-Julliard?" the little redhead squeaked, "Like, in New York City?"
"I'm sorry," is all he could say.
Sheer dread coursed through her veins. All of her plans for after high school had now vanished just like that; what was she supposed to do? Auditioning for movies with Beck was her only dream, only goal in the whole thing planned out to the very last detail. They had everything all planned out, and now Cat could only see herself, all alone, the love of her life not by her side.
"But…But…I don't have any of the requirements for Julliard. I didn't take any of the classes because you said we weren't auditioning!" Cat half yelled. "My parents won't let me have a long distance relationship, Beck, not after last time!"
It was true; two and a half years before that, Cat dated a boy who she completely fell for. Everything was fine and peachy until he moved out West. The petite girl didn't find this to be a big issue, so they continued to see each other. It turned out to be an awful experience, as Cat ended up staying home all the time to talk on the phone when it was convenient for him instead of being at play rehearsals or out with her friends. Cat's mother and father saw the toll it took on their daughter and forced her to end it. She was devastated, and eventually she fell into a deep depression that only Beck could pull her out of, it seemed. Well, the prescribed medicines helped, too.
"If you really love someone, Cat, distance shouldn't matter." Beck pleaded, bringing her back to reality.
"Are you saying that I don't love you?" Cat asked as tears fell down her face.
"No, no, no baby, I didn't mean–"
Cat pressed the End Call button on her phone.
Quickly, she changed out of her clothes and into her comfiest pajamas. She closed her two windows and drew the blinds, then turned the light off. There, in the dark, she cried herself to sleep.
Cat Valentine: That horrible moment when a boy pretends like he loves you then throws you away because he's just selfish :( But then that amazing, wonderful, beautiful moment when you know you'll move on to bigger and better things :D
Mood: Moving Forward
Jade West and Cole McCarthy like this.
Cat lets out a quivering smile as she sets her status on The Slap. Her older brother, Johnny knocks on her door, which is incredibly unusual; he usually just walks right in. She knows it's him, too, by the way his fist pounds against the door. "Come in," Cat says in a hoarse voice.
Johnny opens the door and walks in, holding a digital camera and the huge Swerf gun that he begged for on his last birthday. He's a huge guy in comparison to his sister. Well, in comparison to anyone, really. Johnny isn't overweight, but very strong and just…big. "I covered his RV in mustard."
"Beck hates mustard," Cat replies, extremely confused. Her brother hands her the camera, which has a bit of mustard on it as well.
"I know." Johnny says with a grin. He turns and walks towards the door, but then turns back and says, "Oh, and I covered him in mustard, too." The twenty-two year old leaves his little sister's room, laughing to himself.
Cat turns on her camera and hits the view button, then immediately erupts into a fit of irrepressible laughter. The very first picture is Beck, standing outside the RV completely drenched in the yellow condiment. His facial expression is the best part; it's a hilarious and satisfying mix of disgust, shock, fear, and revulsion all thrown into one. It's almost as good as when she kicked him right between the legs only a few hours ago.
She flips through the rest of the pictures, finding that when Johnny said he covered the RV, he wasn't lying. There isn't one inch that doesn't have mustard on it, and Cat suddenly feels so much love for her crazy brother that she can hardly stand it. She gets up and runs out of her room and into the living area, where her father is reading in the chair while her mom and brother watch a crime show.
The redhead attacks Johnny in a big hug, and he picks her up and spins her around for a bit. She ends up crying again, though, because it's only been hours since the break up and she knows that it will take time to get over. Her mom and dad each take a few minutes to hug her as they tell her the most comforting things that they can. Cat knows, with the help of everyone, she'll be okay.
Still, it doesn't stop the bad memories from catching her when she tries to sleep that night.
"Cat, I don't even know if I got in yet. Please stop being mad at me?" Beck begged his girlfriend as they ate at their favorite restaurant. Cat just looked away as the tears began to form in her eyes.
She got up, grabbed her purse, and said simply, "Going to the bathroom." Before he could say anything, she speedily started walking towards the girl's room as fast as she could. Once inside, she made sure she was alone. Cat opened a stall, locked it, and stayed standing, rummaging around her purse. Finally, she found what she was looking for.
In one of the pockets, she found an old bobby pin. She eyed it curiously, wondering if this is what she really wanted to do. All she could think about was the way Beck had made her feel with all of this Julliard talk, and wrath simply took over. With all her might, the redhead bent the hair accessory in attempt to break it, but she had no luck. It was all she had, though, so she figured it had to do.
She walked out of the stall, and before leaving she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror above the sinks. Her hair was a mess, her makeup smudged, and the brown eyes that were usually so lively were full of hurt and detestation. Cat's light blue blouse was hidden under a black sweater, because that's how she felt right then; a light, pretty color hidden by a dark cloud of black. Because of him.
When Cat arrived back at her table, she sat back down without a word. "You okay?" her boyfriend asked cautiously, a worried expression on his face. Cat didn't answer, but merely yanked up her long sleeve, making Beck gasp.
Ten angry red scratch lines were on the skin of her forearm.
She almost smiled when she saw the look of fear and shock register on the handsome boy's face. "Cat," he whispered, eyes bulging out of his head. Beck reached for her arm, but she pulled it away.
"No," she hissed, "You don't deserve to touch me. You did this. It's your fault!" There weren't tears on her face, but there was a cold look in her eye. Beck just looked at his small girlfriend in pure distress.
"I'm…I'm so sorry." Beck whimpered. "How can I fix this, baby?"
"Don't go," Cat said quietly, sucking in a sharp breath.
"I can't do that."
"Take me home."
"Take me home now!" Cat screeched at the top of her lungs, catching the attention of the whole restaurant. Beck just said nothing and stood up to comply. They left in a hurry, with Cat's eyes full of hot, angry tears.
On the ride back, she managed to pipe out, "Are you breaking up with me?"
"No, no, Cat, I would never," Beck said, seemingly pained with every word.
"Okay," the petite girl whispered, defeated. She just wanted to go home and cry, she didn't want to fight anymore. She opened her door and got out, taking a moment to compose herself. "I love you, Beck."
"I love you too, Cat, and I will forever."
Cat just gave a small smile as she shut the door and went inside.
"Hey, baby, you're going to do amazing today." Cat's mother says encouragingly as she drops her daughter off at school.
"It was the meanest, most heartless thing ever to break up with me two days before my state vocal solo," Cat huffs, her arms crossed over her chest.
"I know, sweetheart, I know it. He is scum, and you know you're better than that. You got into the state competition all on your own, without Beck's help. You will do amazing today, I promise."
Cat smiles and leans over to kiss her mother on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom!" she exclaims before jumping out of the car excitedly. Cat's mother yells good luck out the window, and Cat waves.
Every year, Hollywood Art's students participate in a district contest with other schools in the area. It can be for stringed instruments, brass instruments, and vocalists. The orchestras, choirs, and bands all perform as a whole, and then there are individual solo auditions. Cat got a one (meaning superior, the highest ranking) on her district solo, so today she's taking it to state.
The day passes by in a blur of bus rides, Tori's laughter, Andre playing the notes of his piano solo over and over, Jade's insults, the warm ups, and a lot of singing. (Beck only got a two on his vocal solo so he doesn't get to come. Robbie got a three.) Too soon, Cat finds herself in the small room with just a piano, the accompanist, and the judge. The man tells her to begin whenever she's ready, so she lets herself have a moment of silence. She closes her eyes and imagines Beck, sitting at school, wishing he was there at state.
She grins as the pianist begins her song.
Cat's voice starts out soft and gentle, the words and notes of Danny Boy spilling past her lips perfectly. She tries to tell a story through the song, closing her eyes at a few climatic points. It hurts, though, to think that this is the song that Beck begged her to sing him to sleep with all those times. This is the song she was going to sing to their children. This is the song that always made him smile.
But soon after she finishes singing and walks out of the room, the results are posted. Turns out, this is the song that earns her a one at state as well.
"Hi, Beck!" Cat called in her energized voice as she got into Beck's car. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss and a smile.
"Hey, Kit Cat," he said with a cheerful grin. "Ready for school?"
"Well alright, let's go."
They were halfway to Hollywood Arts when Beck had to stop at a red stoplight. Cat was humming along happily to the radio, but when she looked over at her boyfriend she found him staring at her, looking unsettled. "Babe," he said carefully, "I have something to tell you."
Cat's face fell.
What? She thinks, What more could he possibly have to tell me? "What is it?" she asked, her voice sounded miles away.
"I'm going on a visit with my parents to New York. To Julliard."
"What?" Cat asked in bewilderment. "You don't even know if you got in yet! Why don't…Why don't you just go if you get in?"
Beck ran a hand through his hair and said, "Well, I won't have much time after I find out. I won't know until March, at least. That's two more months. And after that, there's graduation and I have that play at school in March and–"
Cat looked up and saw the light was green. Beck quickly sped through the intersection, his eyes on the road. Cat began to silently cry as she brought her knees to her chest. There wasn't another word spoken until the young couple found themselves in the school parking lot. The girl looked in the side mirror and hurriedly fixed her messed up makeup, then she got out of the car.
As she started to fast walk towards the school, she heard Beck's voice behind her yell, "Cat!"
"NO!" Cat screamed as loud as she could. Looking around, she saw every single person staring at her. Tears streamed down her red cheeks as she full on sprinted into the school. There, she hid out in the bathroom until third period. Eventually, she fell asleep in the Black Box after a lot of crying.
She woke up when she felt herself being lifted. "B-Beck?" she asked, confused. He smiled at her as he carried her all the way to his car. She wanted to argue with him and yell and cry, but she was just so tired. All the way home she felt herself slip in and out of consciousness.
"Beck?" she asked before falling into a deep sleep.
"You b…broke your promises," she yawned, "You said that….you would never leave me…" Cat said sleepily, though hurt and pain still seeped through her voice.
"I know, Cat, and I'm sorry," Beck said, and she believed him.
She didn't say anything more, finally letting sleep take over her.
Cat's on The Slap when she sees it: a status update from Beck.
Beck Oliver: :/
Jade West likes this.
Tori Vega: JADE! Why did you like that?
Jade West: I enjoy Beck's pain.
Andre Harris: What's up, bro?
Jade West: Are you sad because you just realized you broke up with the best thing that will ever happen to you?
Robbie Shapiro: I wouldn't ever break up with my girlfriend…
Rex Powers: To break up with a girl, you gotta get one first, Rob. HA!
Robbie Shapiro: REX!
Beck Oliver: I just found out a couple of hours ago that I didn't get in to Julliard.
Tori Vega: :(
Jade West: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I hope Cat sees this…
Cat smiles wider than she has in a long time.
"Hey, baby," Beck greeted his girlfriend when she answered her phone on the first ring.
"Hi. Do you like it there?" Cat asked anxiously, not afraid of cutting to the chase. Beck was on his visit to Julliard and this was the first she'd heard from him. She was so nervous to find out whether or not Beck liked it more than Hollywood. He still didn't know if he had gotten in, but Cat could pretty much guarantee he would.
"Oh, not as much as I like it back home, with you." Beck said, a smile in his voice.
Cat could practically feel the relief wash over her. "Really? So you're not going to go, even if you get in?"
"Yeah, I'm going to stay right there with you."
"Aunty Em…" Cat gushes while playing the role of Dorothy as she stands on stage in front of tons of people, "There really is no place like home!" She hugs Tori, who is playing Aunt Em as well as Glinda the Good Witch, and the show ends. Cat takes her bow and receives a standing ovation. She grins at the audience and waves, but then she looks in the front row. The only one not standing is Beck, who looks extremely uncomfortable. Cat can't help but wink at him.
After the show, the redhead goes into the crowd to find her parents. She sees Beck first, though, and her face breaks out into a devilish smile. "Hey, Beck!" She exclaims, as if she's really happy to see him. She stands on her toes and gives him a kiss on the cheek, just to mess with him a bit. "Try not to forget me when you're off to bigger and better things at Julliard! Oh wait…" She says sarcastically, then bites her lip. "Oopsies!"
Cat leaves him totally stunned to go talk to her parents and brother. That's the first time she's talked to him since the break up, and she has to admit it feels amazing. She knows that she'll never speak to him again as long as she'll live, but she's glad that she said what she did. He deserves it.
Ever since Cat and Beck broke up, the group (minus Jade) had just been hanging out with both if them at different times. It worked for Cat just as long as she didn't have to see him. In class, she sat as far away as possible. It was hard, sure, but Cat knows that she doesn't need any boy to make her happy.
After the show, the gang goes out for ice cream, with the addition of the boy who played the Tinman, a cute junior named Cole. Jade, on a dare, even leaves her green Wicked Witch makeup on. Cat giggles uncontrollably for a long time when a wide eyed waiter gets a shake tossed on his head for looking at Jade's face the wrong way. It's an amazing time; Tori and Jade bicker, Rex tells jokes about Robbie, and Andre convinces the manager to let them sing songs from the show. Cat also sits by Cole the whole time, and that's definitely a plus.
Robbie sings his character's song, "If I Only Had a Brain," Cole sings, "If I Only Had a Heart," Andre sings, "If I Were the King of the Forrest," Tori sings, "Munchkinland," and Cat belts out, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Jade just sits and complains that she doesn't have a song to sing because the writer of the show is a complete and utter loser who doesn't know that the Witch is very talented and simply needs her own song.
Everyone has so much fun, Cat can tell. No one leaves until around one o'clock in the morning. Once everyone is leaving, they all hug each other and say goodbye. Cole, being new to the group, just shakes Andre and Robbie's hands. He fist bumps Tori, then tries to do the same with Jade but just ends up with a twisted arm. He fist bumps Cat but then immediately pulls her into a tight hug. She's blushing all the while and giggling like a little schoolgirl.
Cat was sitting on a bench at the park feeding birds when she got a text from Beck. "Hey, can you meet me somewhere?" She frowned, because he usually added a smiley on all of his text messages, unless something was wrong.
"Sure! I'm at the park :)"
"Be there in ten minutes."
"Kay kay…" Cat typed back, instantly nervous. It was certainly the longest ten minutes of her life, but Beck eventually got there. He looked awful; his hair was tossed every which way as if he just rolled out of bed, his clothes were dirty, and his eyes were bloodshot.
"Hi," Cat said unsurely.
"Hey," he answered back as he sat next to her, running a hand through his hair. "You know how last weekend was my play? And I told you that you couldn't go out with the cast afterward because it was just for the people involved?" Cat nodded perplexedly. "Well, I lied."
"What?" she asked, obviously hurt. "W-Why would you do that?"
"I didn't want them to talk about Julliard in front of you…" he trailed off, his voice growing a little more desperate with each word.
"Why would they talk about Julliard if you didn't like it?" Cat asked, still extremely befuddled.
"Because they know that I really do want to go. Cat, I lied to you, I'm so sorry."
"Why…" Cat whimpered, tears falling freely. "Why would you do this to me?"
"You were just so unsupportive, I couldn't tell you the way I really felt."
"Does this mean you want to break up?" she questioned, expecting an immediate no. When he didn't say anything she urged, "Beck?"
"WHAT?" Cat screamed, standing from the bench. Sobs racked her whole entire body. "No, Beck, no! Please don't do this to me! I love you so much, I just need another chance. I'll be supportive this time, I swear!"
He stood as well and she grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry Cat, I still love you but I can't do this anymore."
"Beck, please don't leave me! You promised, you did! YOU DID! Beck, please, please, please!" Cat squealed.
"Please!" She begged.
"PLEASE, BECK, I LOVE YOU! DON'T DO THIS!"
Suddenly, anger flooded through Cat's veins. She began punching Beck's chest with her tiny fists. "How – could – you – do this – to me – two days – before – contest?" When she realized that punching was doing no good, she swiftly kicked him right in the balls. Beck doubled over in pain and Cat ran all the way home.
Cat walks around the carnival hand in hand with Cole. Every year, on the senior's last day of Hollywood Arts, the school rents out a fair and the soon to be graduates have a big festival. There are rides, games, and tons of greasy food. Cat and Cole have been there since it started and don't plan on leaving any time soon. Beck isn't anywhere to be found, which doesn't surprise Cat. He hasn't been around much lately.
After the Wizard of Oz, Cole got Cat's number. They texted nonstop for a few weeks until they knew everything there was to know about the other. Finally, he asked her out, and they've been in a relationship for about three weeks now. Cat's completely over Beck, and at first she felt like a gank because she got over him so quickly.
But then Cat realized something. She was never really in love with Beck; she was just in love with who she thought he was. For fourteen months, she thought he was the kindest, sweetest boy alive. In reality, though, he's selfish. All he ever cared about was himself, and when the opportunity presented itself, his true colors were shown. Cat hates him with all her might. She knows that it will die down eventually, but she can't help it. He's put her through hell and back, and she thinks she deserves to be happy.
And here with Cole, riding rickety rides and eating junk food, she is.
She really, really is.
This was kind of random.
But not really.
See, I said in the summary that this is based on a true story. I wouldn't lie to you guys. If any of you read my story The Words On Her Skin, then you may know that back in March my boyfriend broke up with me. I changed a few things, of course, to fit the story. But yes, he did break up with me two days before contest. Yes, he did want to go to a far away school. And yes, much to my immense happiness, he didn't get in.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story! I love Beck and I hate writing him like a jerk. Did you guys see Tori Goes Platinum? Bori, seriously? Meh. No offense to any of you Bori fans, of course, it's just so expected. Anyway, the best I can hope for now is some Cabbie action in the near future!
So, you should review.
Because you love me.
Even if you don't, you should review.