It all started the summer I turned thirteen. It had been growing since I was eight, but one day in particular is when it finally dawned on me.
It had been at a camp I had been going to since I was in kindergarten. It was a children's camp for pre-k to 10th graders that gave their parents daily escapades from 8 in the morning to 4 in the afternoon for either three or six weeks depending on payment. The kids there were great. I met a few that I grew to be friends with, like Matthew Williams and Arthur Kirkland, but no one that I'd want to see outside the camp.
Until I met him.
We were placed into the same "class" for the next three weeks. A football (or soccer depending on the country... Never mind. Only if you're American) and we were placed on the same team. At first he was kind of annoying. His overly- cheerful smile and way- to- loud for 8:30 in the morning voice, but eventually he grew on me. We became friends that summer of my ascent into fifth grade. Nothing more. And I was fine with that.
The next summer, we saw each other in three classes, and even started eating lunch together. My feelings were growing, but for the time, I just pushed them aside and let the summer draw to a close.
The next summer, for my ten year old self, would prove to be disappointing to say the least.
My grandfather, my legal guardian due to my parent's untimely death, decided it would be best for me to go to a month- long Christian camp in the mountains, instead of a session at Camp Hetalia's Creative Arts Program.
And I absolutely hated it.
The food was bland and even reused, with them just taking scraps (let's say that breakfast's cinnamon apples) and incorporating them into a meal later in the day (that evening's applesauce). The people were all in cliques. The pests were overwhelming... Basically it was horrible. But the thing I hated most...
Was how much I missed him.
I didn't understand these feelings. He was just my friend, right? Sure, I thought of him sometimes during the year, but nothing I dwelled on more than 'Hm, I wonder what he's up to now' then moving onto the schoolwork at hand. These feelings scared me, so I did the most logical thing all ten- year olds do when faced with this sort of internal conflict...
Blamed it on the food, and walked to my next activity.
When I saw him again when I was twelve, our friendship began to change.
It was so subtle. Something no one ever even thinks twice of. We began to hang out outside the camp. Nothing major at first. Just going to Coldstone or Starbucks waiting to be picked up. Those afternoons turned into hanging out, and sleeping over at each other's houses. We always had to sleep over if we went over to the other's house, because of one thing that was a blessing and a curse- we lived in different counties. We were about a 45 minute drive away from each other. This meant we couldn't hang out as much as I had originally hoped, but it also meant I wouldn't have to deal with his annoying ass 24/7. A hollow victory.
We only hung out twice during the school year, but the schoolwork kept us relatively separated from each other.
Then it happened.
The year right before I entered high school, when I was only god damn thirteen years old...
I realized I liked him a little bit more than I had previously thought.
Maybe it was the way the light bounced off his curly brown hair, or how his eyes took you hold and held you captivated, or maybe it was his jovial laugh...
Or maybe it was just the fact he was like no one I had ever met.
Whatever the reason, I realized, one day when I was being driven home from another day at camp, I came to the startling conclusion that I liked him... More than a friend.
Needless to say the next few days were a bit awkward, all five out of my six classes (our close friendship led us to talking over the phone what classes we were thinking of taking, the only difference being my love for art and his for acting), but he was just so fucking perfect, I could only watch as my insecurities faded away.
That brings us to now.
Today is his birthday, and instead of hanging out with his school friends, he chose me to hang out with. Me. That has to mean something, right? That's what I keep telling myself as I wait for him in front of a build-a-bear workshop (yeah, it's like he's fucking 5) in a mall that acts as a middle ground between our two houses. Today, I've decided, is going to be the day I tell him about the way I've been feeling. If he feels the same, we'll work something out, if not...
The fucker can go jump in a pile of rotten tomatoes, because god DAMNIT I'm determined to get at least one kiss from the bastard.
Speak of the devil...
"You're late tomato bastard!" I scowl as I turn my head away. I hear a faint 'awh' as he is undoubtedly comparing my face to a tomato as a blush ignites across my cheeks and nose.
That's another thing that's been happening recently, everything (and I do mean everything) he does causes me to blush. It's stupid and meaningless stuff he does too. Like when he gets too close, or touches me in some way (his favorite by far is hugging), or attempts to draw me a picture (again like he's fucking FIVE) will just spray paint a tint of red onto my face.
"Whatever, bastard. Let's just get inside." I say pushing the door open. He smiles and follows me in, like the stupid, laughing idiot I have even stupider feelings for.
An hour later sees us sitting at a pizza restaurant, waiting for our orders with our new bears by our sides.
"It's weird to think we've known each other so long, huh Lovi?" he says giving me a nostalgic look
I simply hum I response. I still don't know how or when I'm going to tell him on our little date (it is TO a date... Fuck off and shut up), so that's leaving me a little dry- mouthed. I know if I try to talk, I'll just make an ass out of myself. So I stay contented to just staring out the window, watching the meaningless plebiscites walk throughout the mall.
This, however, does not satisfy Antonio.
"Oh Lovi! You're going to love high school! I remember how last year I was really scared because I was afraid I wasn't going to find my classes, high schools are much bigger than middle schools, but I met a lot of really cool people, so I know you'll be fine! Besides, who couldn't love your adorable face!" he smiled bashfully before he looked at the approaching waitress with our tomato pizza. Meanwhile, my head was in a whirlwind.
'So... He likes my face? Was that supposed to be hinting he likes me too? Could he like me? What's to like?' I continue counting off the pros and cons of liking someone like me, when he speaks again.
"You know, ever since we sat down, you've been kind of quiet. Something on your mind?"
I look up to see him and all his beauty staring at me quizzically.
"Uh... Yeah, kind of..." I say awkwardly while muttering thanks for the slice he just put on a plate for me.
He doesn't approve of this answer and continues to pry into it.
"Lov, you know you can tell me anything. I'll never judge you, or hate you. You're too cute to hate!" he says while staring deep into my eyes, but with a kind enough smile to let me know he's telling the truth.
God why is he so perfect?
"Uhm, sure... But can it way for a bit? I need to plan it out if I'm going to tell you." I looked down a bit awkwardly and take a bite of my pizza. He seems to approve this time and nods his head, taking a bite of his pizza.
The rest of our meal continued pretty normally after that. After I paid (dude might be manlier, but it was his birthday damnit, I also hadn't gotten him anything), we went to the front of the mall. We sat on the edge of the front fountain, waiting for our respectable guardians to come and get us. I began to panic all of a sudden. He called his parents ten minutes ago, and I knew it only took them twenty minutes to get here. That left me with ten minutes. Ten minutes until he left and I wouldn't see him until god knows when. His last year of camp had been this year, so I knew there was a chance we wouldn't be as close as this again.
Taking a deep breath, I turned to Antonio. And to my surprise, he was staring right back.
His eyes held such intensity, it was like he had been contemplating something himself. He laughed awkwardly and turned to face ahead.
"S-so uhm... What were you thinking about in the restaurant? Are you scared for high school?"
I almost laughed at that. It couldn't be farther from the truth actually, all my worries came with the summer.
"N-no. There's something that I... I actually need to tell you." God, I swear my face was on fucking fire.
He seemed startled by the answer, and also a little... Hopeful? Maybe that's just my imagination playing tricks on me to give me confidence...
He straightened his face out and said, "Of course... Lovi I already told you, you can tell me anything. Always." he said giving me a reassuring smile.
I straightened up and turned so the upper part of my body was facing him and my knees touched his. I looked down once more, contemplating if I really wanted to do this, and after gaining my previous confidence back, I looked back up to him.
"Ok... So I know this friendship is kind of weird, but I'm fucking glad we met alright? I'm glad I got to meet you, and hang out with you. I'm fucking happy you decided to talk to me all those years ago and actually put up with me... So before I say anything else, thank you for that. Thanks for the memories, and the laughs, and all the tomatoes you brought to camp for us to share. Really, thanks for those," I took another breath before continuing to the main point. "But that's not what this is about. It's about something completely different, actually."
I looked up to him momentarily, just to see how this was being taken in. He was still staring intently at me, but he had a bit of longing in his eyes, or sadness, I couldn't really tell.
"What're you trying to say, Lovino?"
"... I fucking like you, ok?" I ramble out before I had a chance to reconsider. My face felt like I had been standing in the cold too long, and that burning feeling had set in. My heart was basically having a seizure in my chest, and my hands were actually shaking a little. I didn't dare look in Antonio's eyes, scared of finding them riddled with repulsion, or rejection.
Instead he just said something.
"You know, you never did give me a birthday present."
My head snapped up so fast, I swear I heard my spine crack. My jaw basically hit the floor when I saw his eyes just staring off into space. Did he even hear me? Oh fuck this... Screw what I said earlier... I hate this bastard so fucking much I just want to punch him in his fucking teeth!
... That's a lie, but the point remains valid.
"What the fuck, you jackass! As if that wasn't hard enough, you just made me feel like the biggest idiot on the planet! Oh yeah, and the fucking dinner was your present, bastard!" I stood up somewhere in the middle of my rant and was looking down at him. He looked up and smiled a little before standing up himself.
"Hmmm I guess you're right, but... I want something else."
"What the fuck else do you want, you arrogant son of a-" then, in the middle of my rant, with the fountain still gurgling and splashing behind us, Antonio kissed me.
And oh, how I had realized just how pent up my feelings were. I quickly grabbed hold of his shirt, with the intention of never letting go, and returned the kiss with fervor. I didn't even notice when we began leaning back, just desperate to feel each other intimately since our encounter as kids. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. So, just as quickly as it had started, our kiss ended...
When we fell into the fountain.
... We are apparently very passionate people...
After we had gotten out and semi- dried ourselves off, we finally looked at each other.
He immediately put on a smile that reached his fucking ears, and I felt the corners of my mouth ascend towards my eyes. We laughed a little until he finally just took me into a bone- crushing hug.
"Oh god, I'm so happy right now! This was the only thing I wanted!" his voice grew a little softer, " and you gave it to me. You're the only thing I want Lovino..." he leaned back a bit and just lightly took hold of my shoulders. "I've liked you for so long, please, just say you'll be my boyfriend?" he looked so helplessly hopeful, I would've said yes even if I hated him.
"Yes, you damn bastard, in case you didn't realize, I kind of... F- feel the same. So whatever. We're boyfriends..." I mutter awkwardly while turning my head to the side.
He just laughed and pulled me into another hug. I slowly felt my own arms begin to wind around him, and knew that our separate lives wouldn't interfere with this. Wouldn't interfere with us.
I had Antonio, and Antonio had me.
As long as we stay like that, I think we have a beautiful life set out for us.
A/N Yup yup. Just a one shot to pass the time~ I'm sorry for not updating but procrastination, apathy, and school, have kept me swamped xP but yes, I wanted to write this based off personal experience. You see, there was this girl that I met at a camp and needless to say, she just worked her way into my heart. I never figured out if these feelings were love, or just extreme admiration (she could do everything I always wished I could), but she left an impression on me. Also, I think everyone, at some point has this type of "Summer Romance" of crush or something…. So yeah ^^ Reviews are love~ and I promise to start updating again soon :D oh yeah, and If you want my full story, just message me or something and I'll tell you my tale of how I never confessed xD this was more of a "I wish this had happened" type of story… so yeah.