Author's Note: This fic is a Soulbonding AU whose rules and spirituality are established in my head and will be explained eventually. WIP.

Warnings/Triggers! Effeminophobia, violence, blood and gore, homophobia, demeaning language.

Ur Nitalam

Sebastian is sick of waiting until he turns of age, what kind of ridiculous arbitrary thing is 'coming of age' anyway. Considering his travels, parties, appropriate cynicism and extensive sex life he's nothing less than a man and no one should deny a man anything. Twenty-one is a good age for those scared little pampered mama's boys that have yet to discover the world, but at seventeen he's a man and he wants to know who the fuck is bonded to him, who his ball and chain will be. That's what he tells himself anyway but in his heart he fears he's unbonded, that his soul is just too toxic to make a connection with another and he doesn't want a public shaming at the Bonding Center. Even deeper in his heart, he's lonely and yearning for true love and commitment but he hardly ever acknowledges those feelings, he prefers acting the bastard.

He's read up on the bonding process, rejecting the dire warnings against self-discovery as a ploy by the officials to keep them from losing money. The Center claims to guarantee neither the requestor nor the unknown recipient will be harmed by the opening of the bond which, considering the bond is millennia old and no one has died from it, he considers bullshit for "we'll sedate you so you don't know what's happening while we empty your pockets".

He's not stupid. Okay, the branding of the sigil might hurt but still it can't be all that bad. The Center keeps a lot of the bonding process secret so Sebastian joins a few of the more clandestine message boards - they're often quickly discovered and shut down by the fucking Center - and gets as much info as he can on how the bond is opened; it appears to be a pretty easy blood ritual requiring little more than a knife, some bodily fluids (he grins) and burning the sigil on your body. All the rest of the Mysteries are obviously mumbo-jumbo for the gullible, he scoffs. In the end, he's not gonna pay money and be possibly publicly humiliated if no bond appears for him. Screw that, he's doing it on his own.

He pops a few Tylenol to be on the safe side, mixes the needed fluids - blood, spit, semen really?, sweat and tears- heats up the steel sigil, dips it in the mixture which bubbles with the heat and applies the still glowing brand to the skin of his arm and fuck that hurts. Except for the pain and the stench of seared flesh, nothing happens. Sebastian's mouth tightens in a grimace. He's unbonded. No soulmate for him, no true love, nothing. No one. Fuck.

Against his will a harsh sob escapes his throat and he wipes away tears. The confirmation that his soul is too ugly to form a bond hurts more than he expected. He throws the sigil away from him and starts to get up. He smacks down on the floor. Well that was unexpected. A huge weight crashes down on him, pinning him to the floorboards and settling over him like a duvet made out of poured concrete. His breath stutters between his clenched teeth as something seems to tear open his head and fill it with molten lead. Everything is red and pain and heat. He screams high and thin as a rope of fire surges from his forehead and shoots away through dimensions. Blood trickles from his nostrils and mouth where he bit his tongue. The burning is too much, his heart seems to be ripped in two - his soul - his eyes feel like they're boiling in the pressure cooker that's become his head.

Then suddenly silence. A formed bond. Cool white washes over him. a soft gold chord stretches. towards. a boy. turning. pale face. wide bluish eyes. soft high voice. Kurt Hummel. Sebastian Smythe. Oh FUCK. Darkness and silence.

He wakes up trembling and sweating and terribly cold. Keeping his mind carefully blank, he staggers towards the bathroom and crawls in the tub, letting the hot water cascade over him. Kurt Hummel. His fucking soulmate is Kurt fucking Hummel. Even though his mind sneers at the thought of the prissy femmy bitch, his soul pulses at the name. Now that the bond has been confirmed and opened, he knows that it's only a matter of time before they actually fall in love. All bonded pairs do. Whatever created them, meant for them to be together. Their souls are literally mated.

Ugh. Mated...married to Hummel, the most flaming queen he knows. He prefers his men a bit more masculine and built thank you, traps make his dick shrivel. His annoyance is revving up to anger, he seeks out the bond that links them and tugs harshly on the cord. He blinks and finds himself on the bottom of the bathtub. Did he fall? His body aches deeply in his bones. What the hell? He closes his eyes and seeks out the link again. Carefully he allows his thoughts to feather past the golden connection. It's weak and trembling as he slides closer. God, it's vibrating with pain and very very weak. His consciousness glides along the tether closer and closer to the other end, forcing it to show him Kurt. Images flash by of blood, pain, raw screams, more blood, a stuttering heart, burning fire, pain, painpainpain... Sebastian slams back in his own body, horrified at the suffering he felt. Kurt is in the Emergency Room at Lima Memorial. He knows this. The bonding nearly killed him. Correction, the bonding is still killing him. He's still bleeding and in agony, even through the heavy layers of sedation Kurt is still in tremendous pain. His soulmate, Oh Creator, his soulmate is dying.

It takes him all of three minutes to towel off, get dressed and be in his car racing to Lima, the shudders that echo through the bond speeding him on.

Lima Memorial is big but he unerringly finds Kurt's room on the first try. The door is open and he glances in quietly, hesitant to show his face to Kurt's family. Kurt's trucker father is crying in his wife's arms and Finn, that giant idiot, is seated next to the bed with his fingers tangled in Kurt's hair. Kurt. The breath freezes in Sebastian's lungs as the bond flares between them. Proximity matters. Kurt's heartbeat stutters making the heart monitor beep alarmingly, fresh blood trickles from his nose and is quickly wiped away by Finn holding a tissue. Sebastian is pushed out of the way when two workers from the Bonding Center hurry into the room and check Kurt's vitals. Their faces are grave. Sebastian catches sight of Kurt's arm where the sigil shows red and swollen. He's crying. Both of them are crying, their souls are crying out to each other. He has to touch his bondmate, they need the connection so he steps forward in the room. Five faces turn towards him.

"I'm his soulmate. I did this."


TBC