Am I actually updating this story? Holy god yes, yes I am. I am actually updating this story!
Mild sexual themes, harassment and slight assault warning. BUT UPDATE SOOOOO YEAH xD Tell me how it is, won't ya? Woot! This one's also longer than my other chapters and much more developed... I'll probably greatly revise the other chapters too. Sorry I wasn't paying much attention to this story... It was an idea on a whim. But suddenly INSPIRATION so I got that going for me, which is nice. Yeah. Enjoy!
Rin remembered the days, mostly, leading up to how much they fell in love with each other. It used to be that Len would see her working, and she would give him a gentle look, a glance underneath her eyelashes. He would walk over, casually leaning over her to see how she was doing, and his arms would barely brush against hers. He would grace her with a carelessly gentle smile.
It would send thrills through her body, like little adrenaline shocks that were pleasant.
Now, the silence was obvious. The tension was like a block of wood that had wedged its way in between the young couple, and Rin and Len did not even spare the other a glance. Len was gone from her. If she was asked a question, she answered formally. If she was asking the question, he answered formally.
It was torture.
For both of them.
For Rin, the worst part was knowing that it was her fault. She watched Len dismiss the class and no longer did he give the signal than she was out the door. Even the other kids noticed that she was not herself, and they hated her, so that was shocking to Rin.
Rui was happy. Rui was absolutely thrilled. She watched this unfolding of darkness on both sides and it took her fancy. She liked watching Rin leave right after school, or the way she would answer things in class.
Len was done.
To get over his sorrow and confusion, he worked himself brain-dead every night. He couldn't, for the life of him, fathom what exactly he'd done wrong to have been dumped so carefully. She always thought things out. Step by step. Now he was exhausted, but the grades were going in so quickly that he feared he was becoming an absolute workaholic. The routine was the same. Go home. Sit down. Grade. And grade. And grade. And...
And dream about her.
He would wake up, feeling worse than he had the night before. It was like she was a drink, and he was hungover from being with her.
Dragging his feet into class, he would sit down and futilely look anywhere but her.
Is she losing weight? She looked thin. Paler. Sadder. She did her work with utmost concentration, not even looking up to give him that shy baby animal look. What if she's still being bullied? Was she being bullied? That worried him immensely. He couldn't sit still, through his worrying about her. She should really eat something. Is her mother okay? Are they both okay? Are they getting along? What if she's alone again? What if her mother left her? What if-
"Sensei!" he looked up, straight into the amber eyes of Rui Kagene. The girl's irises were severely narrowed, and she had her hands on her hips. "Um, I was calling you."
"Sorry." he said, not that apologetic. "What do you need, Rui?"
"Help." Maybe he was nuts, but he could have sworn she was giving him that smile, the smile that some older coworkers gave him because they thought he was 'young and yummy.' (To be honest, that always scared the everything out of him.) She leaned forward until he was forced to lean away, and pointed, with a pouty face, to the paper. "I can't solve this problem relating to the velocity of an object."
"You just," Len breathed, feeling completely awkward. Rin's advances were never like this, and he wasn't sure how to respond. "Divide distance by time." He took the pencil from her lazy grip and scrawled onto her paper with his messy loops. "See? Like this."
"Oh, thank you Sensei," she said, a bubbly smile growing on her face. "I totally understand now."
"Good." Please sit down, then.
She did eventually detach from his desk, but not without making him feel completely awkward. Sighing, he looked back down, until he heard a soft noise. He looked up, only to catch an electric, hate-filled glance that flitted first through Rui's eyes, then back through Rin's. The girls were on end; Rin was tensed, her fists clenched around her pencil, mouth pressed into a line. Rui was content in seconds, lazily grinning at Rin. She trilled her fingers at her and sashayed back to her desk.
Len's jaw dropped a little. What was that?
Rin had never shown, never expressed such contempt towards another person. It was not in her nature. She never did anything like that. He knew at least that much about her, right? Rin was gentle. She was soft and beautiful and timid.
Now she was staring at her paper, and Len could almost see tears rise in her eyes. Then, she raised her eyes and gave him a look.
It was probably the saddest look he'd ever seen her give anyone. It was a look that wasn't accompanied by words, yet belied more than he could say. It was a look of a thousand words.
And all Len needed to do was piece those words together into a story.
Rin came home to her mother trying to make pasta on the stove.
"Hello." Lola said, eyeing her daughter's wilted form.
"Hm." Rin sat down at her desk, casting a tired glance towards the piles of homework. Her grades were significantly better; They'd never been bad, really, but now they were at absolute high. She'd been doing her homework and studying her hardest to erase all memories she had of love.
"Rin." Lola sighed. "It's almost your eighteenth birthday." Rin flinched a little bit. She was going to move in with Len after her eighteenth birthday, but now, she was just confused.
"Um." she said quietly. "I... I want to go to college." Her mom's eyes never changed, and she nodded. "I was thinking if I could get a scholarship, you know... I've been looking at UPenn."
"Rin," Lola sighed, coming to stand by her daughter. "I just got a job and I... I don't think you can afford UPenn. I don't know how much," she continued, "that I can afford. There is a chance that your aunt and Lenka will chip in, but I'm not sure. We'll have to see. You are very smart; I would hate to see your intelligence go to waste. Just keep at it, Rin, we'll see how you are soon."
Rin made a sound of agreement. Lola sighed.
"Come on, Rin. Things may have gone sour in your relationship but you need to pull yourself together, please? You're a senior. If you don't concentrate, you're going to fall apart." Rin looked up at her, her face still broken.
"Oh." Lola sat down next to Rin and sighed. "What happened, then?"
She shook her head. "I broke his heart. I said everything so cruelly because I- I didn't want him to get in trouble. Someone found out, and I was blackmailed into it- I-I j-just d-didn't w-want him t-to get into t-trouble." She shook, tears percolating in the corner of her blue eyes. "I just don't know what to do."
"Rin, you were already in trouble with me. And despite that, you cheerfully broke the rules. You're nearly eighteen, Rin. It's time you made your own rules. So tell me. What do you really want?"
"To be with Len," she answered immediately.
Her mom smiled quickly, easily, a smile that lacked complete warmth... yet was still lukewarm. "Then be with Len."
"Rui," Len said calmly as he saw her standing by the door. She was standing, her head cocked sassily and a smirk crossing her youthful face. Len couldn't help but notice that her shirt was too low-cut for his comfort, way too low cut for school itself.
"I have a question," she breathed, fingering the collar of her shirt. Len put his pencil down and warily watched her face, trying his damndest not to let his eyes wander where she obviously wanted them to go. "Do you…" She blushed, almost instantly. He was mildly amused by that; he didn't know anyone up till now who could blush on command. "Do you think you can answer it?"
Len swallowed nervously, leaning his chair back as far as it could go against the chalkboard. "A-And," he muttered, staring into her honeyed, dark eyes, "What would that be?"
She cupped her face into her hands and leaned forward, perched quite comfortable on his desk. "Do you want me?" she breathed coyly, and before he could even start to comprehend the statement, she was grabbing his face between hers and pulling him against her mouth.
Len was so startled by this brash movement that he just sat there stupidly for a few seconds; it wasn't until he tasted strawberry lip gloss that he automatically felt sickened. He shoved her off, throwing the chair back against the wall and standing up shakily.
"Dammit, Rui!" he said harshly, "What are you trying to do? That isn't even legal!"
"Playing a horrid hypocrite, aren't you, Sensei?" Rui had developed quite an ugly look on her face. "That doesn't explain why you locked lips with that stupid little slut, Rin, does it?!"
Len slammed his hands down so hard that his palms stung. Rui jumped, flinching away from more his terrifying expression. Silver glints imprinted themselves into her mind, the fury laced glare behind the glasses sending shivers down her spine. And not the good kind of shivers, the scared shivers.
"Do not say that kind of thing about Rin, ever again, do you understand?" He leaned in towards her, his eyes still terrifyingly beautiful. "And do not think that just because she walked away, I don't love her."
He released a shaking Rui and grabbed his computer bag, throwing everything inside before walking out. Rui let out the gasp she'd been holding and grabbed at her chest, trying to quell the quivers. So that was Len's passionate side, was it? Well, she would just have to show him that she had a passionate side as well.
"Sorry, Len," she whispered in her sweet voice, seated over him. Her fingertips played and fluttered against his chest, doodling random patterns over his buttons. Len lifted one finger and tucked a curl behind her ear.
"Hm," he teased in a whisper, "Should I forgive you, or not?" She stared into his eyes, her own blue irises earnest and pleading. "What will you give me if I do?
"Mmm," she wrapped her legs around his torso and Len sighed as she pressed herself close to him. The close proximity was driving him nuts; she smelled sweet, like autumn, and golden strands of hair lay all spread out over his shirt. "I could give you anything."
Len awoke with a start, nearly falling out of bed. He glanced at the alarm clock in consternation; it was five o'clock. Almost his wake-up time. He lay back, staring at the ceiling in self-loathing, hatred, almost. This wasn't the first time Rin had played main character in the stage of his dreams, and they were starting to mess up reality for him. One day he was going to waltz into the class and just grin stupidly at her until he realized it was just a dream.
Dreams were cruel- They made Rin perfect to a tee, down to the perfect eyes and each individual lock of hair that shined in the sunlight.
He pulled himself out of bed, his whole body aching with the last pangs of desire he'd felt; this had to stop. The farther he got from Rin, the more he felt the urge to just-
Len nearly had a heart attack as he slammed the alarm clock down onto the desk. He shook himself free of sleep and headed to go brush his teeth.
An hour later, as he was dressing, Len decided that he officially needed to patch things up with Rin. And if he did this right, he could hopefully fix the problem with Rui as well.
Rin dodged a spray of water as she dejectedly dragged her sad self to school. She was tired and just plain sad; to cap it all off spectacularly, schoolwork had begun to creep its way into every minute of free time. Even if she'd wanted to spend time and apologize to Len, she could not.
She'd also started to file for college applications- Obviously, after a certain point, schooling could not get between Len and herself for too long. Added to that was the fact that he was a very young, very good looking teacher who was sure to have gaggles of girls around him.
Whatever she was going to do, she was going to have to do it after school. And when the final bell rang, Rin found her feet making their way to Len's room oh so familiarly. She pushed open his door, finding him unconscious on his desk.
Rin's heart pounded as she neared him. "Sensei? Sensei, are you okay?" No response from him. Rin began to grow desperate as she shook his shoulder. He was out.
"Sensei!" She yelled quietly in his ear, and Len finally sat up, wincing as he grumbled something unintelligible beneath his breath. Finally, he saw her standing there.
"Rin," he said, but instead of sounding sad, angry, or annoyed, Len looked thoughtful. He stood up, removing the first two buttons on his shirt. Rin nervously watched him for a few seconds before she spoke up.
"I uh, needed to talk to you-"
"You promised me anything," Len murmured in a silky, dark voice that sent tingles up Rin's spine and wrapped around her heart.
"What?" She questioned stupidly. "I don't- what?" Len was already leaning forward, smiling at her. It wasn't his usual smile, though- there was unrestrained hunger in those blue-gray eyes, breathtaking and animalistic.
"Remember?" He said, looking down as he broke the last button free. "And I know what I want-"
He pointed at her, and Rin turned to leave, despite the will of her body to turn right back around. She didn't get very far before Len caught her between the wall and his body. Rin gasped for breath- Len was heavy, his weight almost entirely in lean muscle. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and cocked his head.
"Are you breaking your promise?" He frowned, clicking his tongue as he shook his head at her. Rin gasped for breath, trying to speak. Was he intoxicated? No, he didn't have that loopy look in his eyes, nor did his breath smell like alcohol. Len was being fully rational- or irrational, she should have said.
"Len! I never p-promised anything-! I just c-came to-"
"Tempt me again?" Len snarled, the silver in his eyes flashing like little stars. "Yeah, I see it, Rin. I can't stop thinking about you, and I know you can't stop thinking about me either."
Rin narrowed her eyes at him, even though there was not a single lie in what Len was saying. "Tempt you? I came here to apologize, you twit!"
"Right," Len said sardonically. "To apologize. By the way, Rin, I can't guarantee what I'll do if I see some other guy with you." Rin didn't want to feel that hot breeze of arousal when he said those words, but the tingles ran the length of her spine anyway.
"Len, I- I'm not getting with another guy! Are you intoxicated?"
"No," he said, bowing his head near hers. Rin had only ever seen his gentle side, and this new side of Len was freaking her out. She couldn't help but think this Len was lust-driven, and as it turned out, she was absolutely right. Len couldn't hold on to his control anymore.
The first kiss was sweet and peppery, lasting only a second and gentle as a wink. But the next one was long, violent, almost, a kiss with Len's mouth in heavy control, dragging her down into near oblivion. Rin quivered; it was sweet, but an intoxicating sweet, like a straight drain of alcohol. His hands felt like locks of iron on her wrists, pinning them furiously to the wall.
She was trapped in Len.
Not that her body minded it; her body soared in warmth, the feeling collecting in her stomach and even farther down than that. Rin blushed heavily, barely able to part her mouth in shock. Len grinned down at her, a wicked uplift of his lips as he traced his nose downwards between her breasts.
Without warning, then, he ripped her blouse open, buttons scattering and threads tearing. Rin struggled, a scream building in her throat as she tried to pull together the clothing.
"L- Mm!" Len had forced the back of his hand against her mouth, his whole body pressing so hard to hers that she could hardly breathe through the gaps between his fingers. Rin shivered against his body, its heat suffocating as he tugged her down.
"Len!" Rin begged; Len was practically a wild animal, and Rin wasn't sure if he could even hear her at this point, that's how brutal he was being.
In his defense, Rin was even more beautiful underneath her clothes than she was wearing them.
Of course… He was euphoric until he felt droplets against his fingers.
Rin gasped when Len removed his hand, and Len felt his heart twitch at how scared and defenseless she looked beneath his hand. What was he doing?... She wasn't ready, she was terrified. He was practically attacking her, yes, this could be sexual assault.
He had almost ripped away what was most important to Rin... And he was being such a beast about it as well.
"Rin?" He blinked stupidly down at her and Rin whimpered when he lifted his hand. He couldn't blame her, he would have flinched the way she did if she'd just torn apart his clothing and kissed him so hard that bruises were forming. Len watched her crumple and felt that people like him should never be allowed anywhere close to people like Rin.
"What, Len?" She whispered, her tear-stained face accompanying the choked relief in her voice that he'd finally let her go.
"You're right," Len dropped his hand and stepped back. "Oh, god, you're right, Rin. I'm intoxicated. And I can't think clearly. I'm a man." He pressed a hand against his chest. "Yeah, I may give the impression of someone young, but I'm a man. You're just a girl." He touched his thumb to her mouth and gave her a heartbroken smile. "You're just a gentle, beautiful girl."
Rin heard something fall and break it the background. Oh, it must be my heart.
"Sensei," Len repeated bitterly. "Sensei, damn, I hate that word. Says a lot, Rin. About you. Me."
"I'm sorry!" This was starting to go in the opposite direction than Rin wanted to go, and she was starting to feel a sinking dread in her stomach. "I really did want to say sorry!" she took a deep breath. "It was Ru-!"
"No," Len clenched his fist, pressing it to his mouth. "I'm sorry. Rin, I… I am an animal. You're too tempting and sweet for me to resist you, and-" He looked away. "I'm going to hurt you." Rin's head pounded. "You're too much. You're drugging me. I can't do something I'm going to regret."
"You have to come back when you're older, Rin!" Len growled at her in a raised voice, causing Rin to flinch and step back. "C… Come back to me… When you're a woman."
This is for Rin, because you're a deprived monster, because you have no self control, because you absolutely are in love with her.
"When I'm a-" The words sunk into Rin's mind and she shook her head. "No, Len, wait-" Len's eyes were dark, dormant wells of pain that swirled with ripples of longing and love.
"I'm sorry, Kagamine-san. I can't have you calling me by my first name," he whispered, and Rin gasped, her hand clutching at her shirt, where her chest hurt so badly that she wanted to pass out. "Here." He removed his jacket and thrust it at her without looking at her. "Wear this. It's getting late. You… Should head home."
If Len had looked up at her, he surely would have dropped the facade and wrapped his arms around her, for Rin's face was heartbreakingly crestfallen. Her fingers trembled as she rejected the jacket, spinning around and racing for whatever solitary location she could find. How could this have happened? How could her perfectly calculated plan have gone so terribly awry? Rin's tears blurred her vision.
"Oh, look at this. It's that stupid bitch, Rin." There was a slow, drawling voice as someone slammed a hairy arm against the wall, barring Rin's exit. Rin tried to inch her way around whoever was standing there, but he moved to block her escape. Rin quickly turned to run the opposite direction, but she was halted yet again, and she was then backed into the chemistry classroom. Rin tried to blink tears out of her eyes long enough to see who was harassing her, and was unsurprised to see the familiar face of Shuzune.
"Surprised to see me, Rin?"
Rin could hardly have an argument with this idiot right now, seeing as she was about to lose her head. She just looked away from him, tried to avoid his face as she inched away.
"Look at me now, bitch."
"A bitch is a female dog," Rin blurted out in a panicked rush, talking to keep herself and Shu distracted. "A bitch is a female dog with a tail, and fur, and a long tongue, and I have none of those qualities so therefore, I am not a bitch. Perhaps you are, though." Her irrationality was causing her to act nothing like she had before. She glared at Shu through tearful blue eyes, and he was stunned before he could speak.
"What did you say, you… You stupid slut?"
"A slut is a woman or girl who has many casual sexual partners. I am a virgin and I've never had sex before, nor am I promiscuous. I don't have casual sex and I cannot be categorized as a slut." Rin spat breathlessly, fists clenching.
"You-" Shu let his hands to the talking as he childishly shoved her. Rin stumbled backwards, her foot catching on a stray test tube. She tripped back, slamming into the cabinet behind her that housed glassware.
The last things Rin saw were Shu's horrified face and the shadow of the cabinet before it fell towards her.
Did I just do that? Did I just do that?
Hell yes, I actually just did that.