Behind The Bars A Munsters Fanfic

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all rights reserved.

Somewhere in the deepest part of the Mockingbird Heights Women's Penetentery, in cell 415, were, in prison stripes, a disgruntled Lily and Marilyn Munster, pacing in a bummed mood.

"Wouldn't you know it?" grumbled the self righteous matriarch of the Munster family. "It's been a month since your uncle Herman,
Granpa, and even-who knew?-Eddie took us to court, suing-SUING-
us on charges of domestic and spousal violence and abuse, even calling the police to arrest us? I had expected to police to be more caring and sympathetic to women like me and you, for that matter, given the fact that the judge was a woman, I had thought she would back her fellow gender like us. But NO!" Clenching her fists in rage, the enraged Lily screamed, "The judge was on the side of Herman, Grandpa and even Eddie!
She's a traitor to her own gender! Everytime I tried to explain to them that I was just doing my job as a good wife and mother, that I was mean to Herman and their ilk, was because I cared for them, that I loved them, and wanted them to know good from evil, otherwise the whole family would've wound up in bedlam! And what did they they tell me? 'Ignorance of abuse is no excuse.' And when I said 'Objection, your honor!' she said, 'Objection overruled!' Likewise when Herman said, 'Objection,' the judge said 'Objection sustained!' What's the whole judicial system come to, Marilyn? Even my baby Eddie, was against me, even testifying against me! And after those blue coated Neanderthal bailiffs dragged us off to jail, it was Eddie, whom Herman got custody of, said to me, 'Tell me to go to room, you evil meany! You're no mom, you're a meany! At least I didn't do so, but hung out in the upper hallways and overheard you scolding pop and Granpa!' That Eddie ruined and defeated the whole disciplinary purpose and disobyed me, that disrespectful pup! So what're we here in jail for?
For doing what we thought was right? You can't tell me that! I swear, if we ever get out of jail, we'll track down Herman, Granpa and even Eddie, and make them suffer for what they did to us!" Ooo! OOO!"

"Knock it off, Aunt Lily," grumbled a equally disgusted Marilyn, "you can't win them all!
Besides, it can't get any worse."

At theat moment, their cell door opened and a guard stepped in, announcing crisply,
"Ladies, you got yourselves a new cellmate." Then turning to the hallway outside, she added, "Step right in here, here's your new home for the next 40 years."

To the horror of the Munster women, in stepped a 250 pound black haired woman, covered in the most ugliest tattoos, with the most stinkiest breath; she turned to the Munster women and said in a rough voice, "OK, ladies, there's going to be some changes here whatever you like it or not, so just enjoy it..." From there, she cracked her knuckles and bunched her fists just as Lily said to Marilyn, "And you said it can't get worse."

"I stand corrected," said Marilyn, just as the fat woman glowered at her and her aunt, ready to pounce on them...though not before she and Lily screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"