I just loved Black Swan, and after watching it for the third time, I had the idea of Nina meeting the two Swans in dream, and learning from them. And I just had to write this.
Enjoy and review!
Nina was having a really bad day. Her dream to be the Swan Queen had come true, but the pressure behind it was just…Horrible. Thomas was irritated about the way she was dancing the black, swan, saying it was all frigid. She had always hated that sort of comment, always reminding her about what she wasn't, bringing back her complex. She came home, avoiding her mum, barely talking.
She was thinking about the role, about what Thomas told her: live a little. She knew that her way of living wasn't right, even if she couldn't really admit it. She was still living with her mother, who was treating her like a little girl, and she barely had a love life. Before, she could avoid thinking too much about it, content with having a job she loved, but now…Her life was changing, and she wasn't sure how to handle it. It was pretty much like Odile's character. She couldn't understand how she was supposed to let go while dancing, if she had to give a good performance, she had to perfect the steps. So what?
She went to bed quite soon, closed her eyes and tried to sleep. After a long moment, she heard a noise of water. She first thought it was mum bathing, but it was certainly late, and beside, it sounded like a stream or a cascade. But it was impossible; she was still in her room, and there was no cascade here! Curious, she left her bed, and decided to see by herself. She opened her door and gasped: here, at the other side of the door, was a huge lake instead of the corridor.
She looked breathlessly at the view: she was in a huge forest and in the middle of it, was this beautiful lake, its border was covered with green grass and tiny wild flowers, some rocks were standing at the verge of the water, and it was reflecting the colours of the sky now that the sun had just settled down. Strange, thought Nina after the shock, night had already fall when she had went to bed…
She looked behind and saw that her room had disappeared. Instead, she was standing on a rock, and behind her was the down fall she had heard. It was magnificent; all the clear water falling into the lake, once again, Nina's breath was taken. She smiled and left the rock she was on to walk around the lake a little. The moon and the first stars were appearing, and as she reflected on that, a group of white swan came, flying toward the water. Even with the darkness settling she could guess they were pure white. Their gracefulnesses were completing the picture so beautifully that she could have cried out of amazement.
The swans first washed their feathers and then went on the earth. Then, Nina felt her knees weaken and her jaw drop as suddenly, the swans' forms changed, their feather disappeared and they finally transformed into beautiful young women. The swan lake…It was the swan's lake! Right here, it was Odette's followers. They were all naked, Nina blushed at this. They dressed themselves into white gowns made of fine garments, which appeared out of nowhere. In the middle, there was one really beautiful who was attended by all the others to dress and comb her hair. She was obviously the leader; she was Odette, the cursed princess. Nina wanted to approach her, but she couldn't move, too confused and entranced. Odette looked like…She looked like Beth, but younger really younger, like the pictures she had saw of her first representation, and she was really beautiful. Nina couldn't help but feel ugly compared to her.
Odette turned her head toward her and stood up, without any surprise. She walked toward Nina, who bowed her head once she was close. The other swans were following her, curious to see who was this stranger.
Nina looked at her in surprise. How did she knew her name?
"Th…Thanks, your Honor."
Odette smiled kindly at her, and extended her hand for her to take. Nina took it with hesitation, and let the princess lead her among the swans. They were all graceful, either smiling at her or just minding their own business. Their devotion to Odette was clear, and since Nina was her guest, they wouldn't have treated her unwell.
"May you join us? We are going to dance."
"Oh yes! I am a dancer myself."
Odette laughed a little at this. Some swans sat down on the ground, and some others began to dance for them. Odette led her to sat beside her on a rock.
"I know. You are playing my role, and Odile. I know this ballet, and I saw every Swan Queen that ever danced, and I must say that sometimes it's quite uncomfortable to have my life depicted as a spectacle. But on the other side, some representations were beautiful."
Nina was amazed again. She looked at the swan girls, who were dancing as if it was as natural as dancing. She could have cried. Oh how she would have loved to have such grace! Odette put a hand on her shoulder.
"You have difficulties, isn't it?"
"Yes…With your role, I am fine. In fact, I…I always admired you a lot. But it's Odile…I can't dance her like…I don't even understand how I should dance her part."
Odette nodded and turned back to the swan dancing. Two went to Nina and invited her to join them. She already knew the steps, so she accepted, not daring to refuse. Nina was a little ashamed of her difficulties compared to them. But their kind smiles and gestures, and the nods of encouragement form Odette gave her more assurance. When she was over, the girls and the princess praised her, and she returned to sat with the White Swan, blushing. Some other swans took their turn to make their show.
The swans who weren't dancing were sitting around them, and Nina noticed how Odette looked full of assurance here. She was shy with Siegfried maybe, but among her followers…Well, there was something that emanated from her, she was dominant here, in a sweet and respectful way, but still, she was the one giving orders.
"I know what you are thinking, and yes, they obey and respect me as their queen, but they like me too."
Nina looked at her questioningly.
"Having the power and responsibility to command people can make some rough, but it's not a fatality. You can be someone dominant and be nice at the same time. I have a curse on me, yes, but it doesn't stop me to have a minimum control on my life, and it doesn't stop me from loving my swans around here and Siegfried."
She sighed at those last words. Nina nodded, somehow feeling lightheaded with the reflection. She then had a question.
"But with your prince, you…They tell me to play you shy and fragile."
"I am shy with him. I'll tell you something, I am so nervous I could vanish sometimes! But I won't behave with my swan the same way I behave with him."
Nina nodded, understanding. Somehow, she felt like she understood Odette more than ever. Yes she was shy, fearful, but she still had pride and dignity. She smiled, feeling more relaxed. This didn't last long however, when suddenly, Odette turned to her, with light in her eyes and declared:
"I have an idea. I have the feeling that talking with me and dancing with us made you feel better. Maybe you could meet Odile and her followers, it would be good."
"Oh! No, I…"
But she stopped in her tracks when she suddenly noticed that Odette didn't look like the young Beth anymore. She looked just like her. And Nina felt her heart leap at the sight of herself beautiful this lovely white swan queen. Odette smiled one last time to her before changing back into a swan, and flying away with all the others. Nina was alone again. She sat on the edge of the lake, and wondered if they would come back.
As the moon was raising higher in the ink blue sky, she heard sounds of wings, and raised her head in joy, thinking that the white swans had came back, but felt her stomach twist when she realised that it was swans indeed, but darker than night itself. She stood up, scared; it was the black swans, Odile and her followers.
They all landed on earth, and like the white swans earlier, they changed into young women, but this time Nina didn't felt really fine at all. She saw among them a woman who looked really proud and impressive. She was sensual, and her naked body, when she went back to human looked like sin itself, entrancing, tempting, Nina felt a shiver of excitement at the sight of her. She looked like young Beth too, just a bit older, more womanly. She was dressed by her swans, treated like a princess, somehow, it was like the scene of earlier, except that…There was more sensuality and fear in the movements of the black swans when they were behaving around Odile. When she was ready, the Black swan snapped her fingers in a silent order for them to leave her alone. The swans obeyed and went to their own business.
Nina felt her knees weaken as Odile approached her with some sort of assurance and aggressively in her pride and sensuality. Nina waited for her to talk, not forgetting to bow her head before her.
"You must be Nina Sayers, aren't you?"
"Yes Ma…Your Majesty."
"Yes, the one who is massacring my part, isn't it?"
Nina blushed, and couldn't disobey when Odile extended her hand for her to take. She sweated and shivered in fear when Odile lead her to the group of black swans and made her sat up on the same rock she was earlier. The swans either looked at her or didn't bother. She straightened her stance when she suddenly felt Odile's hand caressing her breasts. She closed her eyes and couldn't utter a word as Odile was touching more firmly. She sensed the Black Swan's breath at her ear.
"What is wrong Nina, you seem to like it. And I think you'll play my part better with this."
She yelled and pushed her hands away. Odile looked at her angry.
"Who do you think you are to deny me?"
Nina felt like she was right but remembered Odette's word: I have a curse on me, yes, but it doesn't stop me to have a minimum control on my life. She wasn't a queen or a swan, but she had the right to say no!
"Who do you think you are to force me to do this?"
She laughed cruelly and stood up before me.
"I am the Black swan, Nina, the dominant, the sensual, the one who doesn't have any boundaries in contrary to you. I am free and powerful. That made me superior to you."
"Yet no man loved you for anything else than your body!"
Nina didn't know what took her to say that, but she was glad she did, because for a moment, Odile seemed hurt by her words. But the Black Swan regained her countenance quickly and smirked.
"Do you sincerely think I want something else. I seduce them to satisfy my need, and then threw them away. Like I did with Siegfried, that poor little idiot, and his brainless Odette were so teared apart it was laughable!"
The rage emitting from her was evident. Nina suddenly noticed that the black swans weren't here anymore. They were far on another side of the lake, as if they had been ordered to let them alone. Nina stood up to face Odile.
"You say that…But there is something else in you. Why are you like this, Odile? You don't have to be."
Odile was silent for some awkward seconds and then she answered finally.
"I don't have to be? But this is how I am! They want me this way; they want me bad, threatening and sensual. My father taught me that way, and I am glad he did. Odile is the bad one, and I assume my role, that's all. Learn something Nina: they made me this way, like your mother made you fragile and fearful. People wanted a monster; I give them one, what is wrong in this? They only love my body as you say, and I love them as toy. It's quite fair all in all, isn't it?"
Nina was dazzled by this. Then, some sort of epiphany made its way through her mind, and she was about to speak it out to Odile, when suddenly, she realised that the blacks swans that accompanied Odile had came back, and were beginning to dance. Without really thinking, Nina joined them, and danced, for the first time of her life, loosing herself in her movements. She was feeling light with the graceful and sensual steps she could make, and with the realisation about Odile: yes she was bad, but it was because no one taught her anything else, like no one taught Odette to be evil. The Black Swan had certainly wished for Siegfried's love, but since she couldn't have it, she had decided to destroy them. There was a part in Odile which wasn't this bad, and her raw sexuality was somehow a way to express her despair. That, she could understand. She thought about Thomas while dancing, about the fact she couldn't have him, and she danced sensual and wanting.
When she was over, she looked at Odile, and noticed she didn't look like Beth anymore, but like her. Just like Odette took her appearance, Nina could now see herself gorgeous all in black, dressed as a queen. Odile wasn't, puzzled before Nina. She approached the Black Swan, took her cheeks in her hands and kissed her on the forehead, a light, chaste but tender kiss. She backed away from Nina, stunned.
"I love you, Odile, and not for your body. I really love you."
The woman shook her head and mumbled, Nina was unable to hear what se was saying, but she knew that she had been touched by this somehow. When she thought about it, it was certainly Odile who just gave her the most precious present she veer received. She breathed in and looked at the moon and breathed in, her heart full of love and tenderness for the two swans. They were only one woman, and finally, Nina felt like she had mastered them both. Things weren't as black and white as it seemed.
With a strange inspiration, she began to dance, freely, gracefully, sensually. She made the steps without any efforts, and in her trance she saw that the white swans had returned, to join the black ones, Odette and Odile were standing at each other sides, looking at her. Now it was her turn. She danced with a sort of magical energy, and realised that feathers were growing on her skin, and that it wasn't white or black feathers, but gray ones. A gray swan! She was becoming both the white and the black swan. As she whipped the air with her movements, her winds were finally complete! She was about to fly away…
Ring, Ring, Ring…
The alarm clock woke her up. Nina woke up in a start and remembered it was only a dream. She sighed and exited her bed. As she regained her sense completely, she suddenly felt that she had new eyes. Her room…It was as if she was still ten years old. She couldn't bear it anymore…She wasn't a child. She could fly away in her dreams, but she would in the real world.
Months after the dream, Nina still wondered if some sort of divinity of luck had sent her this dream, maybe some guardian angel. Her life was far better than ever. The day after her dream, she had danced the Coda, and Thomas and the other dancers had been stunned by the way she did it. Sensual, entrancing, attractive, when she was over, Thomas had exclaimed in joy:
"There! You finally got it!"
Things at work went far better. The first representation Of Swan Lake was a triumph, and she had been acclaimed by the audience. In fact, every representation was successful, maybe because Nina couldn't get tired of dancing the Swan Queen. In the same time, she took care about the mortgage, without telling her mother, planning to go away. She had heard Lily say she searched for a roommate, and she proposed herself. Lily had been really happy about it, and when everything was arranged, she had finally told her mother. She remembered well what happened:
Erica was painting in her room, when Nina entered, finally decided to tell everything.
"Mom, I am leaving."
Erica looked at her and nodded, thinking she meant leaving for work. Nina sighed and explained herself better.
"I mean that I am leaving the flat. Definitely. I am moving away."
Erica's smile faded as she rose from the chair she was in. She first walked toward her daughter but stopped when Nina took a step back.
"What are you saying? You can't go away! You…"
"Well I can and I am. I can't live with you anymore, it's not sane. I know you think it's the best for me, but it's not."
"You don't know what is best for you!"
Nina closed her eyes and shook her head.
"I am moving mom. There is no need to talk about it, I already cancelled the mortgage and signed for my new flat. I am sharing it with a friend from work."
Erica cried and tried to hold back her daughter, but Nina kept strong and went ahead. The next day, she was packing her stuff, helped by Lily, and she settled in her new home.
Lily and her had became very close friend, almost like sisters. The girl was often making her go out, living a more exciting life, and it was really refreshing for Nina who had been sheltered all too much before.
The best change was maybe her love life, she hadn't known a lot of good stories, but now, she was officially Thomas girlfriend. It was different from Beth or any other girls. They were openly a couple, not just sex friends. She had discovered that Thomas liked when she was strong and rebellious, and somehow she liked the fact he didn't want a sweet submissive girl. It was helping her to affirm herself.
When the production of Swan Lake was over, they started something else, and Nina was once again the lead, the new glory of the theatre. Life was smiling to her, because finally she was complete. Finally, she was assuming the two swans in her: the white and the black.
Hope you liked.