Santana's back melted into the soft cushion on her sofa. Letting out a deep breath she watched the ceiling fan slowly rotate on the roof of her living room. This is how it had been for the past few hours. Santana sitting lazily on the couch, watching an inanimate object like it was the most entertaining thing on this world.
Her mother stood at the kitchen arch way, her hands placed heavily on her hips.
"Tana," She called.
It did not faze Santana at all, hardly even batting an eye at her mother's call.
"Santana," Her mother repeated.
Santana mumbled some incoherent words under her breath. Her mother sighed, walking over and sitting at the end of the sofa, the cushion dipping under her weight. "Santana baby, what happened?"
"I screwed everything up," Santana sighed.
Her mother grimaced rubbing her hand on Santana's ankle lifting her feet up to place in her lap. "Tell me Santana, what happened?"
Suntan grunted, looking up to her mother with crystal eyes, glimmering with soft wetness. She looked like a small child, helpless in her mother arms. Santana let out a deep sigh telling her mother everything from the beginning about the plan with Rachel the night of the valentine party… though she left out the part were the party was at her home. She told her about the heart break. Gong to Brittany's house the next day only to be told to leave by Quinn, returning home in a heap of tears.
"Santana…" Her mother whispered.
She let a comfortable silence drift into the room, holding Santana's emotions. Santana closed her eyes, hoping that if she stayed here in her mother's arms for long enough that maybe she could escape it all. When had love become so complicated? The movie made it look so easy, but life was never like the movies…
She waited for her mother's comforting words, telling her how everything was going to be alright – but no such thing came. Santana peeked from her shut eyes to make sure she was still there. Her mother looked around the room, seeming to be in deep thought.
"That's horrible Santana," She finally said, "You shouldn't have…."
"-I know," She snapped. I guess the hope for some comfort was naive.
"Do you love her?" Her mother asked.
Santana fumed, what kind of question was that? Didn't she just hear her story, her long and aggravating story? "Oh course!" she hissed,
"Then that's all you need," Her mother explained, "If you truly love her you will find a way."
"-your smart honey, your father and I raised you well, you will figure it out." She sighed, "But I'm afraid it may take a bit of patience, Brittany is only human and even she can get angry. She will come around dear."
"It just sucks…" Santana grumbled.
"I know it does, but it's all worth it….anything worthy is worth fighting for." She finished leaning over to kiss Santana on the forehead, "I have to go cook supper, stop moping around and come help me,"
She hit Santana's shoulder lifting from the couch. Santana grunted following her mother into the kitchen.
The next morning Rachel walked down the hallways looking around for the familiar blonde hair. Catching a glimpse of it on the stair case she jumped, rushing to the steps. Taking two at a time Rachel pushed some freshman out of the way.
God when did the girl get so fast? She jogged to the girl's side, "Brittany we need to talk,"
Brittany's eyes twitched down to the girl, frowning deeply and continuing forward, at a faster pace.
"Brittany!" Rachel called out, trying to keep up with her.
When Rachel saw Brittany step out of her car earlier in the morning she knew that she needed to talk to her. She was the only one who would know why Santana was acting the way she was. But getting Brittany to talk or even stand in the same room as Rachel seemed almost impossible.
"Brittany please," Rachel pleaded.
Brittany faltered for a moment, looking down at the brunette, "What?"
Rachel crouched over taking a gulp of air to steady herself, "Why have you been running from me all day?"
Brittany huffed, pulling down her t-shirt harshly. "I don't have time for this…"
"Please Brittany, Santana she won't talk to anyone, and I don't know what I did," Rachel whined, "What happened at the party?"
Brittany looked down at the girl, pondering it for a second, "She told me-" her voice was drowned by the screeching bell. Brittany glanced around her cheeks flushed red.
"She told you…?"
"I have to go," Brittany sighed, "I can't be late for home ec again…" Brittany brushed past Rachel, clutching her binders tightly to her chest.
"Brittany!" Rachel yelled but it was useless, she was already walking away.
Rachel sighed, shaking her head and walking to her next class, nowhere closer to getting Santana back as a friend.
She went through the rest of the day, in similar fashion. She was convinced Brittany had turned into some type of chameleon, as she was unable to spot the usual very out spoken cheerleader. The only thing that she had to look forward today was being able to spend time with Quinn, and by the end of the day she really needed it.
They meet at her locker, Quinn smiling brightly down at her, "are you ready?"
"Rachel nodded, grinning, "Yeah,"
They walked out into the cloudy afternoon walking to Quinn' car, and climbing in.
Rachel speed down the road, feeling a bit out of body. She was in Quinn Fabray's car, the head Cheerio, most popular girl. Her car smelt of pine and peppermint, probably from the low hanging car freshener swinging lightly as the car jostled.
Rachel looked to her right to make sure that it was still Quinn in the driver's seat. Her gaze fell along the curve of her neck, tracing up the angle of her collar bone. Spreading across her high cheek bones and finally to her deep and beautiful hazel eyes. Those eyes could hold such anger, could make the biggest man whimper in fear. But they also held softness, an undeniable kindness underneath it. It was just getting to the lower layer that was hard.
"What?" Quinn asked glancing over to Rachel. She had noticed her starring awhile back but didn't say anything enjoying the feeling of the smaller girl's eyes on her.
"Noting," She said simply.
Rachel lent over, twisting the knob on the volume, letting the music drown the car. She always loved listening to music loudly now. It was a horrible habit that Santana had given her. The thought of the tanned girl made Rachel frown, her gut twisting. Her eyes diverted to the side window. She hated that she had to be reminded of her everywhere she went. She never realized how close she came to the girl.
"You okay?" Quinn asked, glancing at Rachel ever so often, the brunette staring off into the dark surroundings.
"Yeah," Rachel smiled.
Looking back at Quinn she found the worry and a caring gaze filter to her, Quinn trying to measure exactly how much of that was true.
Giving in Quinn pulled into the parking lot of the small coffee shop, killing the engine before glancing over to the brunette. She hadn't been able to breathe properly the moment she stepped into her car. Being this alone in a car with Rachel set her heart running wild. Clicking her seatbelt free, she smiled at Rachel stepping out of the car door, out into the heavy over cast sky.
Rachel walked around the car, joining Quinn by her side, "Have you ever been here before?" Quinn asked motioning to the Café.
Rachel studied it for a second shaking her head, "No I always go with the glee club to the one by our school."
"Well you are in for a treat!" Quinn grinned, "I come here a lot,"
"Why?" Rachel asked
"It's a nice place to write, to get away from everything,"
Quinn gripped he door handle, pulling it open, letting Rachel walk in front of her through, and shrugging. "It's mostly a string of consciousness," she explained.
"I tried to write once," Rachel admitted nearing the counter, "I got fed up with it and promised to never attempt it again."
"Probably wouldn't be fair anyways…" Quinn nodded, looking up at the drink menu even though she already knew what she wanted.
"What do you mean?"
"You already out shine everyone on the stage, wouldn't be fair to do it on paper too," Quinn glanced back down at the smaller girl, smirking.
Rachel felt heat rise up to her cheeks, deflecting her eyes back up to the menu. After ordering their drinks they made their way over to a pair of sofas, sitting down lightly and sipping on their drinks.
"So how are you feeling?" Quinn asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Better, but you know," She shrugged, "It still stings."
Rachel puckered her lips, clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth, "But I suppose we will see what happens later, I just hope Brittany is doing alright she seemed pretty weird when I tried to talk to her before."
"She is just hurting…"
"Just don't understand, she ran out from the party but I never got to find out why."
Quinn was frozen in silence, looking at the girl in front of her. Brittany had told her to ask her, but did she really want to know the answer? She saw what happed to Brittany when she found out… She wasn't really looking for that type of heartache.
"Rachel, can I ask you something?" Quinn asked, nervously picking at the rim of her cup, her heart beat speeding up.
Rachel watched, as the blonde bit her lips, her fingers tapping at the side of her styrofoam cup. She suddenly felt a bit worried. Anything that had the head Cheerio nervous shouldn't be taken lightly.
"Brittany actually told me something about why she was so upset…"
Rachel gulped but it felt like needles going down. She clutched at her cup a little tighter, her eyes darting around Quinn as if something would give away what she was about to say.
"I asked her what was wrong, why she was upset, but she never told me…" Quinn muttered, looking back up into the deep brown eyes, "She told me to ask you, to uh…. T-to ask about a plan?"
Rachel felt her world deflate, gravity seeming to push down on her shoulders harder sinking her into the soft material of the cushion. It made sense, why Brittany would be so angry, leaving in such a rush… She couldn't understand why she hadn't thought about it before, wasn't it obvious? She still couldn't quite understand why she had blamed her for everything, it was an equal participation.
Realizing that Quinn was waiting for a reply she opened her mouth. It went completely dry, her tongue swelling up a bit. "S-she uhm…" Rachel scratched her forearm roughly, leaving red marks down the side.
"Do you know anything about that?"
"I do," she admitted.
"Can you tell me?"
There was a long silence, Rachel trying to order the story, without giving away too much. There was no possible way, none. She cursed to herself, swearing to never come into a café again, they only cornered her. Opening her mouth, she closed it again, there had to be some way…
"Well you see," Rachel started lifting her hands, "Well really… well it started with…."
"Please Rachel, I just need to know my friend is so hurt, and if I can do anything to help."
Rachel let out deep sigh nodding her head, "It started at the beginning of the year, a few weeks after Brittany started dating Artie. Santana was so jealous… she uh-" Rachel paused uncomfortable with reveling so much of Santana, "She told Brittany that she loved her but she rejected her telling her that she loved Artie. Santana was desperate after and she kind of caught me doing something, well starring at someone, she connected the dots. And cornered me one afternoon telling me that she knew about it."
"Who was it?" Quinn blurted out, her eyes suddenly widening.
Rachel looked up, her eyes silently being captured by the hazel ones. Rachel was a bit shocked, she had just told her that her two friends were romantically involved and all she cared about was finding out who Rachel liked?
After a moment she shook her head, "It doesn't matter."
Quinn couldn't help but feel her heart sink, pinching her eyebrows together. Waiting for Rachel to continue she pondered who it could be.
"Anyways, she asked we to help her out, and in return she would help me out," Rachel muttered, looking up at the intense gaze from Quinn. She slightly stumbled over her words, getting lost in those eyes, "At uhm, my party her and Brittany kissed but Brittany went back to Artie… Santana asked if we…"
Quinn waited for the answer,
Rachel gulped, "If we could 'date' as in a fake relationship to make Brittany jealous, and the uhm... other person jealous."
Quinn slowly put the puzzle pieces together. It made sense now. Santana had lied to Brittany, for a long time… Quinn sat back in her couch stunned. She couldn't help but feel the pit of her stomach gurgle at the thought of Rachel liking someone else. Of course she did, why wouldn't she? Her heart fell when she thought of the possibility of that person being Finn. She silently cursed, she was not even angry at her for trying to take her boyfriend she was more hurt that… that Rachel wanted someone else…wanted someone else other than her.
Looking up she found Rachel slowly studying, gauging her reaction.
"O-oh," Quinn nodded, "Oh," She repeated.
"That's pretty…" Quinn looked for the right word, "Messed up…"
"I know," Rachel breathed, "Bit us in the ass that's for sure,"
"Have you told the person?" Quinn asked suddenly, her eyes flashing back up to the brunette. She looked stunned, her mouth gaped, "about the plan?"
"I-I," Rachel twitched crimson rushing to her cheeks, "I did,"
"How did they," Quinn gulped, "Respond?"
Rachel looked up with slightly hooded eyes, starring into Quinn's eyes deeply, "Undetermined,"
Quinn puckered her lips, nodding slowly. She could feel something clawing at her skin, itching to break free. Something that she feared she wouldn't be able to lock inside for much longer. Her restraints were beginning to weaken and it wouldn't take much to make Quinn implode in on herself.
"So you weren't upset with her breaking up with you?" Quinn asked. That was stupid thing to ask, obviously Rachel wasn't sad about that. She just finished telling Quinn their relationship had been fake.
Rachel chuckled to herself, "In a way she did break up with me," Rachel sighed, "Even though we were never anything real romantically we did have a friendship…"
"I got to see a side of her that I didn't know existed, I just thought that maybe… I don't know I thought we would still be friends even if this didn't work out." Rachel took a sip of her drink, finishing it, "Thank you for this Quinn, I really needed someone to talk to. I didn't realize how much I relied on her till now."
Quinn nodded, smiling, "Of course Rachel, I'm always here."
"Are you?" She tilted her head to the side questioning Quinn, "It's just that before well it's not like you were very nice to me …"
Quinn bit her lip, her eyes turning sad, "Yeah…" She stated, "I'm really sorry Rachel, it was never right for me to do any of that, I just I was…. Jealous."
"Jealous?" Rachel said a bit shocked, why would she ever be…?
"You were so talented, and well it never mattered how many times Santana and I threw slushy's at you just stayed you… you didn't let any of it change you, while me on the other had…" she chocked, " let it change every part of me."
Rachel couldn't get over the soft beauty of Quinn. This was the Quinn she fell in love with. It wasn't seen by many and if it was it was brief, it was the one she had talked to way back before she was head Cheerio. She smiled weakly, reaching out and rubbing Quinn's arm comforting. Marveling at the fact that Quinn let out a small shiver, the warmth from her arm tingling Rachel's skin.
"Trust me it's not easy,"
"You make it look like easy,"
Rachel kept her hand her shoulder, her thumb gazing over her skin, feeling light goose bumps underneath her touch, she grinned inwardly. "It's not trust me,"
Quinn smiled weakly, skipping her tongue out and letting it moisten her lower lip. Rachel stopped breathing, her eyes following its path, watching Quinn's lips. She snapped back up finding Quinn with a similar expression on her face.
"We should probably go," Quinn whispered, "I need to get home for dinner."
"Oh, of course." Rachel smiled, standing up and walking to the door with Quinn
"Thank you Quinn, you didn't have to do any of this…. But you did."
"Anytime," Quinn smiled, "I really want to be friends with you Rachel, maybe be able to make up for the past few years."
"I would like that," Rachel grinned
"I think-" Quinn stopped dead in her tracks looking out to the pouring rain, letting out a low whine.
"It's pouring!" Quinn gasped, "It looks like a hurricane out there…. did you bring an umbrella?"
Rachel slowly shook her head snickering, Quinn groaned, frowning.
"I'm going to get so wet!"
Rachel twitched, her mind running to the gutter, snap out of it! "Come on Quinn it won't be that bad, we'll run…" She held out her hand.
Quinn glanced down, her heart speeding up, reaching down she grasped the diva's hand intertwining her fingers. Rachel couldn't help but let her mind jump back to the moment Santana was holding her hand "This is a relationship hold" she had had said locking their hands together. Rachel shook it off Quinn didn't mean anything from it, she was pretty sure only Santana was crazy enough to think there were different meanings of holding hands.
"Ready?" Rachel steadied.
Quinn whined, shaking out her free hand, bouncing up and down, "Yes!"
Rachel held her hand, pushing the door open and running out into the water. Quinn squealed her voice cracking as they jumped through a puddle. Rachel giggled, tugging on Quinn's arm as she attempted to shield her head from the rain with her hand.
Sprinting to Quinn's car Rachel jumped over a small curb. Just as she was about to clear the leap, her toe caught the ledge sending Rachel toppling to the ground. She let out a startled gasp, her hand ripping from Quinn's as she braced her fall rolling over the wet cement.
Quinn screeched, rushing over. Rachel finished rolling ending up looking up, the rain splashing her on her face.
"Are you okay!" Quinn gasped looking over Rachel, by this time both were soaking wet, their clothes and hair sticking to their body. "Rachel!"
Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, bursting out in a fit of laughter, clutching her stomach, not even bothering to worry about the dirt marks on her dress. Quinn took a moment to realize she was laughing, and it was okay before she joined in. Slouching down till she sat by Rachel, laughing loudly.
Neither girl cared anymore about getting wet, partly because there was no possible way to get any wetter…well Rachel could think of one way… stop it!
Quinn looked down lovingly at the stunning girl, as she finished laughing. She couldn't help but feel like she wore wings, floating in the air being here with Rachel laughing in the rain on a parking lot. Quinn wouldn't think it was possible to laugh in a situation like this.
"Are you hurt?" Quinn asked, still laughing a bit.
Rachel shook her head, bubbling in amusement. Quinn's eyebrows pinched together as she leant over brushing her thumb across Rachel's chin. Rachel sucked in a deep breath watching Quinn intently.
"There's a b-bit of dirt…" She explained but her words seemed to stick in her throat.
Her thumb was still on her chin, her palm coming to rest on her cheek.
"Thanks…" Rachel whispered.
Quinn looked down, seeming to be having some starring contest with the girl. She could feel the tension building, her heart racing. She brushed her thumb once more over her soft skin, barely brushing the bottom of her lip. It was so soft… I wonder what it would feel like to…
Quinn gulped, dragging her tongue across her lip. So slow it almost looked like she wasn't she leant forward, lowering herself down to Rachel. Only a few inches away she could smell her shampoo, strawberry's… and then she felt the warmth of Rachel's breath tickle her skin, the hair on the back of her neck in anticipation. Finally dipping down the rest of the way she let her lip brush Rachel bottom one for the first time in her life.
What she didn't expect though, was the immediate response from her body. It was as if a light switch had been turned out, turning on everything that had to do with Rachel. The darker girl let out a soft sigh when Quinn's pink lips pressed softly on hers. She pulled her hand around, dragging them through her wet blonde hair. Their lips moved as if they already knew the dance, molding around each other perfectly. Quinn leant further down trying to get closer to the girl. She skidded her tongue along Rachel's lip waiting until Rachel opened her mouth to move forwards again.
When their tongues came in contact Quinn let out a soft moan. Is this what she had been missing out on for so long? Her body was reacting in ways she had never experienced before. Her stomach tightening to a point where it was almost uncomfortable, her center throbbing with her heart beat. She couldn't take it she needed more, her body needed more.
When this passed through her Quinn shot bolt right up, her eyes opening wide in shock. She had just kissed Rachel Berry, and she liked it… a lot. She looked down as Rachel's eyes fluttered open, she was so beautiful…
No! no, no, no, no….
Quinn jumped up, looking around worried, not only did she kiss Rachel Berry, she kissed her in a public place where anyone could have seen.
"Quinn…?" Rachel said from below slowly standing up.
No, no, no, no….
She couldn't get enough air, she felt like she was suffocating, she had to get out here. She glanced at Rachel for a second, finding her eyes wide with worry, "Quinn…I-"
Quinn shook her head violently, "No, I shouldn't…. I shouldn't have." Quinn spluttered, "I have to go."
She ran to her car, fumbling with her key, "Wait Quinn!" Rachel yelled, "Just wait we can talk about this."
Quinn continued to shake her head, twisting the lock open and flinging herself in. Letting the engine come to life.
"Quinn!" Rachel gasped, Quinn speed away, not glancing back at Rachel standing in the rain, she had to leave, had to get out. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't….. no, no, no.
Rachel stood helplessly as she watched the white car pull out onto the road. How had the best moment of her life turned to her worst?
She sighed, running back to the shop, deciding that at least if she could be under a roof she could get her thoughts in order. She had also just lost her ride home… and had left her phone in Quinn's car… she was on a roll.
She walked over to the counter, the boy on the other side, looking a bit amused at Rachel's drenched form.
"Is there a phone I could use?" She asked ringing out her dress on their tile floor. He grimaced pointing over to the side where a pay phone hung. She walked over, thanking god that she had some change in her pocket. Reaching in her pocket she fished out two quarters but paused before entering them. Her dads were gone today… she sighed hitting her head on the wall beside the box.
Groaning she entered the only other number that she knew off by heart.
Rachel sighed with relief when she heard the voice, thanking that she was at least at home.
"Santana it's me, please don't hang up!" She added quickly.
"What is it hobbit?"
Rachel bit her lip, looking around the shop, "I need to ask you for a favour…."
Twenty mines later Santana pulled up to the café, watching as a soaking Rachel walked over opening her car door. Santana had laid out a blanket on her seat when Rachel had told her she was drenched. What? This was real leather…. Rachel ducked her head sitting down, looking over to the Latina.
She wore sweats and a t-shit, her dark boxed glasses pushed up her nose.
"S-Santana? "Rachel asked looked at the pair of glasses, "You wear glasses?"
"Shut it," Santana grunted pulling away when Rachel shut the door. When Rachel had called all she wanted to do was hang up and let Rachel deal with getting home herself…but she had seen one to many datelines to let that happen. She might not be on speaking terms what the girl but she didn't want to see her dead!
Driving away, she noticed Rachel glancing over nervously, "Don't think this means anything…" Santana sighed, "I just didn't want to see you get hurt,"
"Right," Rachel said.
Maybe if this were a normal occurrence she would be asking Santana 21 questions, but considering what just happened she found her mind busy with other things. In fact the entire car ride went by without a single word being said. Santana found it a bit unnerving that Rachel hadn't said anything, but brushed it off, a little happy that she hadn't.
"Here you go…" She muttered rolling up not her house, "You're going to be okay right…?" She mumbled, glancing at her grip on the steering wheel. Unable to bring herself to look up at the brunette.
"Yeah," Rachel nodded, "T-thank you Santana…"
"Yeah," Santana shrugged.
And without a second glance, Rachel opened the door, running over to her home. Santana waited, making sure she made it in safely before pulling away and driving home.
She couldn't help it, every time she looked at Rachel now she was only reminded of the one of the many mistakes she had made. Her heart tore every time she saw the desperate and sad eyes of her previous friend. She wanted to go back, wanted to give Rachel a cheesy hug. But she felt something physically holding her back, her walls climbing up around her.
Pulling into her driveway she exhaled, cutting the engine. She grabbed her keys, rushing inside. Closing the door she looked around, finding her mother and father sitting on the sofa watching some crapy reality show. Santana grimaced walking past them. While on her way she saw her mother stare at her a bit funny, her eyes simmering.
"What?" Santana asked, looking back.
Her mother shrugged, looking back to the TV. Santana clicked her tongue walking to the stairs taking two at a time tell she reached her closed bedroom door. She twisted the door knob, swinging it opened. The instant she did though, she felt her breath stick in her throat, her eyes widening.
There on her bed, sat…
A.N. So there is only a few chapters left! I have it planned out to be around 25 chapters but I think it might be one or two more then that but we will see : )
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, everything is up hill from here!
thank you for reading and please review