A/N: I've been dying to do this for a while because in my opinion Elena should be all dark and twisty after the transition.

One step closer to living

She took the razor once more and glided it across her wrist. The sharp inflecting pain made her heart race and she smiled powerfully. A few seconds later the self-inflicted wound had disappeared and so did her smile.

Elena Gilbert was in overall shock now that she had turned into a vampire. She made Stefan choose Matt instead of her and as he swam to the surface with Matt in his arms she accepted the fact that she was going to die. Finally in the moment of pure agony she felt at peace and the world went dark.

Everything wasn't dark for long there was a field with beautiful flowers and she saw Jenna standing there. Elena had smiled but Jenna shook her head, caressed her cheek, and said "Not yet." Then everything went black and she woke up on a cold, hard metal surface into reality.

Elena Gilbert once again let the razor dig into her skin. She let out a squeal of excitement and watched with disappointment as the cut faded away. She didn't talk anymore either she gave up on that. The only thing that was standing between her and peace was Jeremy. The only reason why she was continuing on was for him because in her mind the world would be a better place without her.

Sometimes the cutting wasn't enough and Elena once again forgot how to live. On all two occasions that it rained in the past two weeks the young girl has sat on top of her roof. She sat with her knees tucked into her chest, trying to feel something, anything!

For the first time she wasn't putting a smile on her face telling everyone she was fine. Look at her now, Ric would be ashamed, after everything he taught her. Elena felt like crying again and once again she slashed her wrist and let out a pleasant cry as the warm liquid ran down her arm.

"That'll get old pretty quick, trust me." As the wound healed itself Elena Gilbert came face to face with Damon Salvatore.

"Feeling the rush of life, takes time." He continued, "You want to die but you live for your brother and you cut, shoot yourself, let the rain drench you, just to feel something, something human."

So in that moment he wasn't talking about her he was talking about himself. She hadn't seen him since she decided to complete the transition, what was he doing back here?

"Trust me Elena, it gets better."

"Y-You… came back." Her words were horse with each breath.

"Things aren't how they were supposed to be, of course I had to come. I'm glad you're talking."

"Y-you left…after… I-I said I was completing the…transition." Elena quivered and placed the razor down.

"I made a promise to my brother, but things are different."

"Ric w-would be mad at me." Elena said in softer voice.

Damon crossed the room, "No, no Elena he wouldn't." and sat across from her on the window sill.

"I trained…I was strong…now I'm weak."

"You are the farthest from weak Elena, I can promise you that!"

"I accepted death when it came for me, I was ready, and now…" Elena began to tremble, eyes watery.

Damon leaned forward and pulled her close, "I know, I know."

"I don't know how to find the will to live again, Damon." Elena continued to sob.

"You have forever to find it Elena! Sssh it's okay." Damon kissed the top of her head and rocked her gently.

"I-I missed you." Elena whispered abruptly.

"Me too." He replied.

Suddenly a loud boom of thunder echoed the sky from a distance. It crackled and then slowly faded away. Damon lifted his body off of her's and the two sat looking at each other for a moment.

Then Damon took her hand and led her out the window and on top of the roof.

"Were just in time for my favorite part." Damon whispered as he sat next to Elena. He took her hand and smiled.

Suddenly the sky opened upon them and a heavy downfall of rain covered them in a matter of seconds. Elena gasped continuously and let the water consume her. She opened her mouth and looked up at the sky while still squeezing Damon's hand. This time the rain was refreshing and she felt at peace.

She gasped one last time as though she had just come back to life. Her eyes were wide and frantic and she looked at the dark sky. Elena Gilbert was one step closer to waking up, one step closer to living.