Title: He was Happy.
Word Count: 953
Summary: Wally was happy, so what was wrong with him being in denial?
Denial. The team, the mentors, his family - they all like to say he was in denial. But what was wrong with that? Really, why did they push their views and belief onto him so much? Couldn't they see he was happy living the way he was? Didn't they want him to be happy? Couldn't they see that pushing down all his walls and throwing him into the real world he couldn't possibility be happy.
He would be over ran by fear and possibilities and disappointment.
Couldn't they see that?
Wally isn't as happy as one would think from simply observing him but he was certainly happier than he could ever be out there. He was happy enough. Some days, he even truly convinced himself there was nothing wrong with his life and that he was happy.
As a hero he lived in the public eye and thus adjusted his behavior and beliefs accordingly. And no matter how much he strives to separate Wally West from Kid Flash he just can't completely. Things bleed across the line he has made all the time which demands that Wally change himself to behavior properly as Kid Flash.
He has to be careful. He's okay with being careful, though, even if it meant denying part of himself like certain impulses. He can't ever drink underage or try any kind of substance nor could he pick up the habit of smoking. Now one might not want to do these things in general but having the choice made for you...well sometimes it bothered Wally but other days he knew he was just being careful for Kid Flash's sake.
So he denied himself the other opportunities his classmates get to make themselves. Hell, it would be hard for him as Wally to ever get a date since it would require so many lies. Where are you going? Why can't I come? Who are you going to be with? Why can't I meet your friends? He couldn't answer any of those questions truthful and he'd rather like his first real relationship not be built on lies. A worst turn of events is he might say too much to his significant other. So he needs to be careful and single.
He was happy with being careful, though. He was happy in denial. What was wrong with that?
As Flash's student, people had already made assumptions about him because of Flash's own nature. The terrified twelve year old - the one that craved acceptance - had fallen into the expectation without a second thought.
Since he was still grasping understanding of his powers back then it was easy to fool people into seeing him as childish, impatient, rushed. It was also easy to pick up his uncle's awful sense of humor. So he pushed away the shy, uncertain kid that spent too much time with chemicals and microscopes he had been before his powers, before people started to accept him. What was wrong with the fact that a lot of people didn't know the kid that was still sealed away within him?
He enjoyed making people laugh and craved being liked. With this new ideal of himself he got to do both. Nothing was wrong with that.
More than anything, Wally wished his teammates and friends understood that magic couldn't exist in his world if they wanted him to be strong and fearless.
It wasn't common knowledge, but Wally West was afraid of his powers. Afraid to his very core.
Magic is suppose to be almighty. It doesn't have any real boundaries. It's just so endless and vast. A person could do anything with magic in their hands. Magic broke science with a blink of it's eye. How could science exist if magic can just decided it doesn't. The world needed boundaries - laws to run off of. The world needed limits. Wally's powers needed limits. If magic exist then there is no limits, then his powers has no limits and then...then he could go too slow or worst, too fast.
If he ever wanted to push himself there needed to be a limit to his powers, a limit to the world that he couldn't - that no one could pass.
And really what's the difference between his denial of magic and any religious person denying evolution? It's just a belief, a person's personal view of the world. Why is their view of the world okay when his isn't? What's the difference between their belief in magic and his belief in science? Why couldn't they just see how much he needed boundaries.
Why couldn't they see he was happy in a world without magic?
Maybe, Wally thought with an amused grin, one day all this lying to himself and pretending would become true. Then they would have to stop bothering him. One day he'll be okay with society making his own decisions for him. One day he really will be the loud mouth joker he pretends to be. One day he won't have be afraid of his powers. One day he'll be happy. One day they'll see he needs to be in denial.
Wally likes to laugh at the idea of all his walls coming down and facing reality whenever they bring it up for he has no doubt that when all the walls and tears are done falling they won't recognize him - so terrified, so quiet, so sad.
A/N: Something like my Thief story. I don't like how I ended this but I like the points I made. =]
I redid this story, because it came to my attention that I offended someone's belief. That was not my intention with this piece and have hopefully corrected it so that the point I had wanted to initially make is made this time. I am not going to take the point out of the story for two reasons one Wally is a scientist - one that does not believe in the supernatural - and I believe it is a comparison he would make based on his credentials and two because it adds credibility to Wally's side and that is what this story is about.
There is reason behind a person's belief and actions. I've decided that this is Wally's reasoning for being in denial. Wally doesn't believe in magic even though the others see magic as fact with 'evidence' just as someone sees evolution as fact with 'evidence'. If one is not to be judged for their beliefs of religion why should the team judge Wally for his disbelief of magic?
Anyway, yeah, that's it. Hope you like it.