I have officially finished my first year at MIT! So in celebration I'm finally posting a oneshot that I've had for a while now. I don't have a person to beta for me so this could have a lot of grammar mistakes and whatnot. Despite that, I hope you guys enjoy! This is in Penelope's POV
I do not own anything of Criminal Minds
I felt constricted.
Between the memories of bliss and the lingering feeling of his rough palms against my skin, I felt as if my breath was being taken away from me. As if the feeling of love and lust had punched me in the stomach leaving me breathless. I still couldn't comprehend the fact that we were here, lying in his bed as naked as the day we were born. Our legs and feet were still intertwined beneath the black silk of his sheets, fitting together as if God had intended for them to be so. The sounds of his soft snores filled the air as the moonlight gave the room an ethereal glow.
I still couldn't believe we had done this.
He looked so still, so perfect, as the moonlight graced his face. I felt a pressure building in my chest as the gravity of this situation had begun to dawn on me. We were best friends that had crossed the line that we playfully danced on for years. Although I trusted him, I had shown him a part of my vulnerability that I wasn't ready yet to reveal.
Would the way that he saw me change as soon as the sun rose over the horizon? Could we ever salvage remnants of what our friendship used to be before we ended up here? Would we ever be like what we used to be? The last thought left me feeling empty for I still had hope that maybe, just maybe, he would love me just as much as I loved him.
And as I slowly untangled our legs and moved towards the edge of the bed, I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me in closer.
"Don't go," he mumbled, eyes still closed.
My heart constricted as I felt the familiar heat began to pool between my legs. It was unfair how he made me feel undone and put together all at the same time. But before I could even speak I felt him softly place his smooth lips onto mine.
"Were you trying to sneak out of here?" he asked coyly in between kisses. I could still hear the light tease he laced into his words. A small grin, much to my dismay, appeared on my lips as he placed light kisses along my jaw.
"Maybe…" I answered honestly. It was easier to run than endure the pain in the morning. Derek was him and I was me. As good as his lips felt on my skin, I just knew that this wouldn't last. Derek wasn't ready to settle down and his past relationships proved it.
"Derek?" I asked timidly, breaking the momentary silence that fell between us.
"Hmm?" he replied, eyes still closed. His breathing even and matching the rhythm of my pulse.
"Do you think we uh… made a mistake?"
His eyes opened this time and began to bore into mine. His eyes held a slight look of disappointment, a look I wasn't expecting.
"Do you think we did?" He asked in return. I hated when he gave me control of where our conversations could go. I hated being on the offensive.
"Derek, I need to know if this is a one time thing or if this is serious. The thought of you not being in my life…" I wasn't even aware that tears were streaming down my face until I felt his thumb brush away a tear that had traveled down my cheek. I shouldn't have drank that last glass of wine…I get too open and emotional when I'm tipsy.
"What am I to you? Am I now just another number?" I could just feel more tears streaming down my face. It sucked being this open with someone you knew who didn't love you back. At least in that way. My heart was dangling from a string that he was holding. The thought of him dropping it and breaking it was tearing me apart.
"Baby, look at me," he told me as he repositioned himself over me. I sniffled as he gently tilted my head to face him.
"You want to know what you are to me?" He asked, his voice huskier than it had been just a few minutes before. His hands traced the outside of my legs as he placed them around his waist. A knot began to form in my stomach from anticipation.
"You are my confidant, my best friend, my solace…" He said in between kisses as he entered me slowly. He shuddered when he was fully seated inside me and that movement alone was pushing me to the edge.
"You still listening to me, baby?" He chuckled slightly as he resisted against my legs trying to push him forward. I nodded my head as I groaned out a yes. "You gotta listen, sweetheart," he told me again as he began to start a painstakingly slow rhythm.
"You're my everything. The one I wanna spend all my time with. The only one I see myself growing old with. The love of my life…"
I felt my heart leap and soar as he said those words to me. It was too good to be true. I closed my eyes, reveling in feeling of his rough hands gently caressing my body.
"The mother of my future children… I want it all baby. But you seem to think we've made a mistake." He stopped moving abruptly, causing my eyes to fly open from the sudden action. Before I could even protest, he grabbed my hips firmly and flipped onto his back, placing me on top. I could feel the little hairs raising on my arms from the cold air of his room.
"I don't think we made a mistake," he stated as a matter of fact, coaxing me to move against him. "I need to know. Are you in love with me just as much as I am in love with you?"
Hesitantly, I began to rock myself against him, hitting a spot that caused me to whimper and falter in my movements. I nodded in reply. "That's not enough for me, angel. I need to hear you say it," he prodded even further, tweaking my already sensitive nipples between his fingers. "Yes," I gasped, already feeling my approaching climax. I began to speed up my movements, increasing the friction between us. I was so close, so painfully close when he firmly placed his hands on my hips and rolled me back under him. I felt on fire, just burning and itching to reach completeness.
"Why'd you stop me?" I pouted slightly while he gave me his 1000 watt grin. "Because I want to be the one who brings you home. And this is slight punishment for not saying yes the first time I asked you."
I was about to say something back, but as if he sensed it he began to start his rhythm. "You did that on purpose," I managed to moan out as he picked up his pace. I grabbed onto his back, whimpering and moaning as I felt myself to tighten around him. "Look at me." he said gruffly as he continued to pump into me. I locked eyes with him as I felt the beginning of my climax ebb its way in. A slight grimace crossed his face as my nails began to dig in his back from the intensity of the orgasm. My toes curled to the point I thought they were going to snap off as I cried out in ecstasy. "Who's the only man who can do this to you?" he asked in a strained voice as I continued to shake and writhe underneath him. "You are," I manage to choke out. My moans quickly turned to screams as I felt the onset of another orgasm wash over me.
"Who's the man that wants you by his side for the rest of his life?" he asked again as he continued to drive into me without a hitch.
I felt tears began to stream down my face as the intensity of it all continued to wash over me. "Baby, are you gonna spend the rest of your life with me? Do you love me?" he asked again, making sure that I kept my eyes open and focused on only him.
"Yes!" I moaned out as I began to slowly come down from my climax. I felt him began to pulse inside me as he achieved his own release. His arms cradled around me as I welcomed the feeling of most of his weight on me.
After pulling me into his chest and back underneath his covers, he kissed me reverently. Proving to me that he was in it for the long term and that he was serious this time.
"Don't you ever doubt my love for you," he whispered. I nodded sleepily as a yawn escaped my lips. "Know that I will always love you," he told me as he himself began to drift off into sleep.
With my worries and concerns about us diminished, I too joined him in sleep, snuggling deeper into his arms.