Disclaimer: I own the poem and that's it. Frankly, at this point, I don't want to even dream of owning the TR franchise- it seriously needs a mega facelift.

Author's Note: Well, with the next game getting put on hold, I decided to add some more poetry here. Really, it helps me take my mind off my usual thought: NO KURTIS? WHHHHHHY? Enjoy.


I shouldn't really like this job-

Far too many problems for

Me. There's always an angry mob

Of monsters en route or professor's pounding on the front door.

You think they would've learned, by now,

That Lara's not a woman to be bothered, ever.

Still, someone must have realized how

Lara's a tad reckless, but very, very clever.

Occasionally, another raider or hunter

Will appear- they've made this

Quite the habit. With questions for her

Or demands- full of risks…

But it doesn't really faze

Her… She's odd that way,

Really, but it's how she spends her days:

Just kind of… Running, climbing, and saving the day.

Lara needs a new hobby, honestly.

Think about it: All she does is just that-

Saves the world. Seriously,

Her ideas of what's "fun" are rather flat.

Mm… Perhaps, if

I don't get scared away by then,

For her birthday I should, as a gift,

Give her a hula-hoop. Perhaps her spirit will lighten

And she'll stop being so… Sullen and wild.

Yes, that's it! I'll do it!

Perhaps it could be the tiny nudge towards being mild

She needs. Or maybe I should get her a book on Egyptian Lit.

Hmph. My new employer is rather odd,

But a caring soul, I'll give

Her that. Perhaps I should just smile and nod

While listing "useless" triv-

Ehm… What was that sound?

It sounds like a thousand clown horns.

Perhaps I shouldn't really hang around

The manor… My apartment probably feels forlorn.

Yes, I think I'll go…

…Probably for the best, anyway.

I need some normalcy, for now, you know.

The more you get used to her, the longer you want to stay.


Yes, this lovely poem is from Alister's perspective. I started work on this some time after beginning "Clank In Life" and then stopped for a while due to non-fic related projects. Stumbled across it the other day and decided to complete it.

Reviews are lovely. Flames, meanwhile, will have to be directed at my Proto secretary, whose name is Secretary. Yes, I know, unique name. She picked it herself. o.O