Disclaimer: Alas! I do not own Harry Potter.
Hermione entered her empty dormitory and slammed the door forcefully. "If I have to watch them snogging one more time, I am going to strangle them!" she yelled loudly.
Parvati poked her head out of the closed hangings around her four poster, her eyebrows disappearing into her perfectly trimmed bangs.
"Oh," Hermione said sheepishly, "Hello, Parvati. I—um, didn't realize anyone was here."
A grin found its way onto Parvati's face. "No worries," she replied, opening the bed curtains. "Are Lavender and Ron at it again?"
Hermione sighed and flopped onto her neighboring bed. "Yes."
"I heard a rumor that Ron was attacked by a flock of birds the other night," Parvati stated casually. "Know anything about that?"
Hermione stared at her dorm mate, and found she was speechless.
Parvati smirked. "I can't say I blame you. Rumor has it you were going to Slughorn's Christmas party together."
"Yes," Hermione agreed miserably, "and we might have, if Ron could ever manage to remember the simple fact that I'm a girl." She closed her eyes, as they had become embarrassingly watery.
"Well, who are you taking instead?" Parvati asked, politely ignoring the tear that made its way down to Hermione's pillow.
"No one, I suppose," Hermione said morosely, her self-pity reaching an alarming level.
"Nonsense. What better way to make Ron notice you?" Parvati asked.
Hemione opened her eyes, her mouth turning into a slow grin. "Who do you think would annoy Ron the most?"
Parvati thought for a minute. "Draco Malfoy."
The pair immediately broke in to hysterical giggles. "Oh no," Hermione spluttered, trying to catch her breath, "Not a chance."
Parvati clutched at her sides, still laughing, "Ron would be furious!"
"Well, that's true," Hermione said. "What about Zacharias Smith? Or—no, I know—" Hermione paused for dramatic effect, "Cormac McLaggen."
"Absolutely brilliant," Parvati agreed, "You know, I've caught him staring at you during breakfast. Twice."
Hermione blushed faintly. "Well, he's a git, anyway, but not as bad as Malfoy, for Merlin's sake."
"Quite," Parvati agreed. "Now, about you looking more like a girl…." She strode over to her trunk and began pulling out half-empty bottles of beauty potions.
Hermione quickly began to protest, "No, not Sleekeazy's, I have to use gobs of the stuff—"
"Of course not," Parvati said, "That stuff is terrible. I brew all my own shampoo, I'm sure I can tweak the recipe a bit for you. Where's yours?"
Hermione bit back another protest, and handed Parvati the Muggle shampoo she used.
"Mineral oil? What on earth is mineral oil?" Parvati asked as she quickly scanned the ingredients. "I can't believe you don't use star grass," she continued, walking over to inspect Hermione's hair. "Well, on second thought, yes, I can."
Hermione watched as Parvati set up her cauldron, murmuring ingredients as she added them. She gave the star grass, fluxweed, and lavender a few counterclockwise turns, then bottled the potion. Hermione found herself unceremoniously shoved in the direction of the bathroom, hair potion in hand.
When she emerged, Hermione examined herself in the mirror. Her hair was still rather large, but Parvati's potion had tamed her mass of frizz into voluptuous looking curls. "Star grass?" Hermione asked.
"Star grass," Parvati confirmed. "Now, let's go find Cormac."
A/N: Thanks to AllShadesofGrey for beta-ing, and saving me from the embarrassing experience of misspelling Parvati's name repeatedly.
Cookies for you if you use a shampoo that doesn't have any mineral oil in it. Cookie ice cream sandwiches for you if you review.