Author's Note: I just had to do it. So, this fic is going to feature a lot of pickup lines- some cheesy, funny, or just highly inappropriate. If you know a good one, feel free to tell me- I could use a lot. There might be some crossover ones later on, but right now I'm sticking with the Harry Potter guys. Tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Obviously. If you hadn't realized that by now, you need some serious help.


Blaise Zabini

Blaise couldn't believe what he was about to do. If Draco found out, he would be laughing hysterically at him, shouting to anyone who would listen about the completely ridiculous situation Blaise had found himself in.

Blaise fancied Loony Lovegood.

He didn't know exactly when it had started, or how for that matter, but recently he had been having trouble getting her out of his head. Her beautiful dirty blonde hair, her dazzling smile, those bright blue eyes that seemed to look deep into his soul- it all made his heart flutter.

It took a lot of internal debating and self-motivation before he finally worked up the guts to come clean to her. He was going to confess. And he was extremely nervous about that fact. He had never really confessed to a girl before. He had been with plenty of girls before, of course, but those were just flings, really.

The longest one lasted a bit less than a month.

With Luna... Blaise felt like it could work. He wanted it to work.

So, he was just going to come right out and tell her his feelings.

After scouring the castle for the longest time, Blaise finally spotted the little sixth year Ravenclaw skipping toward the Black Lake. Alone. Seeing his chance, he jogged up to her, mentally prepping himself on the way.

"Hey, Lovegood!" Blaise called out some distance away, causing the girl to halt her skips and turn to him with her usual dreamy expression.

"Yes?" Luna asked, her voice light with curiosity, head tilted to the side.

Looking at her then, Blaise felt the tiny sliver of confidence he had left slip away. His mind went blank, easily lost in her gaze. He was supposed to be confessing, wooing her and sweeping her off her feet! Not standing there like an idiot, at a loss for words! It was then that his mouth finally worked- but instead of truthful, heartfelt words, his default pickup lines found themselves spouting passed his lips.

"Do you have a mirror in your pocket?" Blaise asked, mentally kicking himself at his stupidity. Before he could even stop himself, he had already finished the rest of the line, "Because I can see myself in your pants."

"Oh, but I'm wearing a skirt," Luna said, still in her dream-like state. "Have the wrackspurts gotten to you?" She asked innocently, her eyes staring at him unblinkingly.

Blaise should have known this was a bad idea.


AN: I just had to have my favorite pickup line first. I feel as if this one fits into the 'highly inappropriate' category.