Chapter 1: We Give the Girls an 80's Style Makeover
You know those long, sweaty summer days where there's just nothing fun to do? It's just boring. You are SO… DARN… BORED. It sucks, really.
Well, one of the advantages of living at Camp Half-Blood for a few months is the ability to curse the other cabins. Not very many people know how to do that. Well, okay, the Hermes kids all do. But that's because we're born pranksters. We know every method of causing catastrophe. Connor and I are awesome at it.
So, what was I talking about? Oh, right. It was one of those really awful summer days, where you can, like, feel the sweat in the air. You just feel all gross and nasty, and pretty sleepy, too. The stupid sun is beating down like it's trying to punch you out, and it just makes you want to DIE. (Uh, but don't tell Apollo I said that… He'll kill me. Um, kill us. Connor and I tend to get in trouble as a team.)
Back to the story.
We were planning on cursing one of the other cabins, and we had all the necessary items – meaning, Connor was ready to go, the rest of our cabin was passed out in their from Capture the Flag, and I still had a half-eaten Snickers bar that I'd stolen from an Apollo nerd, which I could use as an offering to Hermes (he comes in handy sometimes) – so we grabbed our backpacks and took off to wreak some serious havoc. It was going to be great.
Now, like I said, we'd just finished this terrible round of Capture the Flag, and I mean TERRIBLE. Like, even the Aphrodite cabin kicked our butts. They started beating one of the Hephaestus guys with Gucci bags, and then Connor got cornered at Zeus' fist by a couple of Athena maniacs who had a rope trap all set up. When it was over, half our cabin was bright red – blushing, bleeding, and covered in lipstick, all at the same time. Gods, it was awful.
It just wasn't fair! I mean, what the Hades. The girls destroying kids whose dad was the god of pranksters? This was so totally NOT OVER.
Connor and I were so mad, we were the only ones who didn't conk right out when it was all over. We had a plan.
So, it was the Stoll brothers against the world – well, at least the camp, (or just the girls, or… WHATEVER, OKAY?) – and it was not going to be pretty.
Connor and I slunk all stealth-like behind the Aphrodite cabin. I unloaded my backpack while Connor made a little campfire with some sticks. We tossed my half-eaten Snickers bar, some gummy satyrs we'd stolen from a convenience store, and a Naiad stick (they're like Pixie sticks for demigods, okay?) on to the fire, and I muttered, "Hermes, father, god of pranksters and thieves, accept my offering." The fire blazed, like, every single color of the rainbow, so I figured either Iris liked Snickers bars or Dad was in a good mood for once.
"It worked!" Connor yelled. "IT WORKED!"
I punched him in the mouth to shut him up. He almost gave us away, though. It was a close call.
Right then, I launched right into the curse before Connor could cut me off. I mean, he's my bro, but he can get in the way sometimes. So I took over and started reciting the curse we'd written last week when we were supposed to be doing archery practice. (Did I say that, um, write that out loud? You saw nothing, okay? Just don't tell Mr. D! He'll turn us into fruit or something.)
I read the curse out loud: "They think they're so pretty/The girls are so witty/Chiron said pranks were done/We're just trying to have fun –"
Connor recovered from the punch I gave him and read the last stanza of our epic curse: "We just need a laugh, bro/Give all the girls AFROS!"
THAT was when it happened.
There was an explosion of psychedelic tie-dye fire in the Aphrodite cabin, and the winds were flashing like disco balls. All the girls shrieked like evil Barbies. Then there was this huge, like, POOF – like a hippie piñata burst open in the cabin – and a high-heeled shoe flew at the window and cracked it.
Connor was doubled over laughing.
Then, out of nowhere, this freaked-out Aphrodite chick bursts out of their cabin, screaming at the top of her lungs like there's an assassin after her. And… and… her HAIR. She had this huge, fluffy, poofy AFRO. And when I say huge afro, I mean EMPIRE STATE BUILDING huge. You could have scared the living, demonic snot out of a Fur– ahem, Kindly One, with that thing. The hair was sky-high, sticking out in every possible direction. Like a fuzzy clownfish exploded and attached itself to the girl's head.
All the other Aphrodite babes sprinted out of the cabin, too, but some of them were lugging designer purses and makeup kits, which slowed them down a lot. Even so, they all ran towards the Big House.
"Who cursed us? AAAAAH!"
"I'm hideous, like, HIDEOUS!"
"This is, like, so mean!"
"My makeup is RUINED!"
"This isn't funny, Apollo cabin!"
"I'm going to WRING MICHAEL YEW'S NECK!"
Silena Beauregard, the head of the cabin, started running in circles until she passed out.
Eventually, Chiron came cantering towards the chicks, and he was all shaken up. He caught us, unfortunately, because Connor tried to run off and gave us away. Mr. D didn't turn us into fruit this time, (one time he actually made us live as strawberries for a week,) but we had to clean the toilets for a stinking month.
Let me tell you, poop stinks. But DEMIGOD poop? Yikes. I will not elaborate.
Connor insists that it was worth it for the looks on the girl's faces. I'm still not so sure. On the up-side, we made a "AFRO-dite Cabin" sign and left it in front of the cabin during the night after our punishment was over.
And that time, they never caught us.
A/N: So there you have it. My first full-blown comedy fic. Reviews, please! Ideas for future curses might become updates later on, possible, but everything here is sporadic and not guaranteed. Still, reviews mean the world! They really do!
I already have an idea for a potential next chapter: a curse on Ares' cabin. I will say nothing more, but hopefully it will make some people laugh.
May the gods be ever in your favor! O_O