A/N: If I owned the Hunger Games, much more random stuff would have happened in all three books!
To The Ever Infinitely Detail-Oriented and Controlling President Coin:
We as former Victors of the Hunger Games acknowledge that the whole Katniss Everdeen being the Mockingjay (Because I HATE being dressed up and told what to do! I did that for TWO HUNGER GAMES! TWO! - KE) didn't work out, and so we accept our doom - we mean - execution by firing squad without qualms. I mean, we were all in the Hunger Games! We could have been eaten by mutts, eaten by fellow tributes, stabbed by fellow tributes, sawed in half, had our big toe cut off before we were decapitated ve-e-e-e-r-y slowly, been speared, been knifed, eaten by fire-ants, endured death by nightlock (oh wait... that nearly happened to TWO of us!) or died in more unpleasant ways.
So what follows is a list of our final requests! According to an addendum to District 13's execution law passed 5 years ago , you, our dear President Coin are obliged to well... OBLIGE!
Katniss Everdeen: I want to die with a bow and arrow in my hands! My favorite arrow in my bow and aimed at the squad! May the odds be ever in their favor!
Peeta Mellark: I want to eat a freshly baked cheese bun. And stand next to Katniss. And paint a picture of her on the wall across from where I will stand so I can stare at her for the last few seconds of my life! Because I looooooooooooove Katniss!
Finnick Odair: I want to stand in front of the firing squad STARK NAKED! So they might be... distracted!
Johanna Mason: I'm going to stand there and cuss you out! Because I DON'T CARE!
Enobria: I want to rip someone's throat out! With my teeth! I haven't done that in soooooooo looong! Maybe I can do it to whoever refuses to be on the firing squad! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Beetee: Aw... you're killing the NERD-TASTICIST one in the group? C'mon! Who made almost all their shiny weapons? ME! Who broke into the broadcasts? ME! Do something cool with my stuff - though you all won't be able to think up cool stuff like I can...your loss! But I'm not too upset! Because I'LL GET TO SEE WIRESS AGAIN WOOO HOO! Could I have a picture of her posted on the wall when it's time?
Annie Cresta: Laa laaa laaaa!
THE VICTORS OF THE HUNGER GAMES
President Coin stared at the letter on her desk and groaned. Their execution day would be a very long day indeed.