Disclaimer: Yup, still writing in French class...

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with my signature song fics. Writing a post season fic got me through last year's hiatus so here I am doing another one this year. Song fic to "In My Veins" because I couldn't resist.

So I can't believe I actually did this but I wrote smut... yeah... So this is M rated (or at least the first chapter is)



Chapter One

"Nothing goes as planned"

Kate Beckett was soaking wet from the storm brewing outside and dizzy (from the brewing storm of emotions inside her) when she arrived at Richard Castle's door. She probably wasn't thinking clearly—hell she wasn't thinking at all—but she knew exactly what she wanted. Rapping on his door, he was all that was on her mind.


Rick was certainly not in any mood to entertain whoever was currently knocking on his door. He couldn't stop thinking about the woman he loved and how she was going to get herself killed. He had tried to stop her but she wouldn't listen. He couldn't do this anymore; he saw her die once, he couldn't do it again. Between Kate and the fact that his daughter had just graduated all Rick wanted to do was crawl into bed with a bottle of scotch.

She was standing there when he opened the door. He had to suck in a breath so she wouldn't notice how much her being there affected him. He was done. He had tried so hard to give her up and she wasn't making it easy. Mustering up as much coldness as he could in his voice, he asked, "Beckett what do you want?"

Kate wanted to say so many things but she was at a loss for words. She knew what she wanted though and so she knew one word would be enough. "You," she said softly, voice full of longing. He didn't even have a chance to react before she reached out to grab his face and take his mouth with hers.

Rick tried not to react to this intoxicating woman's lips, but it was difficult. Her forehead rested on his as they both struggled for a breath. "I'm so sorry Castle," she whispered, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..."

Hand on his face; Kate tried to bring her lips back down on his but he forced himself to push her away. "What happened?" he asked looking her in the eyes. There was a tear streak on her cheek and he had to resist running a finger along it.

I realized giving you up was the dumbest thing I've ever done; that's what happened. The past thirteen years of her life had been so dedicated to finding justice and trying to solve her mother's murder that she had never allowed herself to truly be happy. She had thrown her life away, but now she was done with that. Nothing could get in the way of happiness now. "He got away and I didn't care," she admitted, "I almost died and all I could think about was you. I just want you."

Hearts were beating frantically as Kate opened her mouth hungrily to take his with it. Neither one of them could believe that this was finally happening. Four years of dancing around each other—of waiting—and now they were both finally ready.

With a blinding flash of lightening and deafening crack of thunder Kate reached out to lightly touch Rick's lips. His eyes turned dark with arousal and then he was pushing her against his door.

Neither one cared that the door closed with a slam as Kate's body hit it. Lips crashed together and moved frantically. Rick moved his head to the side and started kissing Kate's neck while she ran her hands up his back.

She was never going to let him go again. Risking her life for her mother's case was not worth it—it wasn't worth losing him. Dangling from that building made Kate realize that Castle was right; she couldn't keep doing this. She had quit her job; she packed up her things, and headed out of the precinct. The raging storm was as metaphorical for their relationship as it was literal. Kate knew Rick would appreciate the symbolism of the storm as she sat on the same swing set that her and Rick had sat on all those months ago while she explained about her wall and basically asked him to wait for her. Eight months later and now that wall was completely destroyed.

After all they had been through now here she was, in Richard Castle's loft, kissing him senseless while he had her pinned to his door.

Rick needed to touch her skin; he needed to feel every inch of her. God her loved this woman and he no longer had any doubt in his mind that she loved him too.

He had almost lost her so many times but now she was here. Lowering his head, he kissed her scar; it was such a large part of her—a constant reminder of what she had lived through.

He undid the top buttons of her shirt to reveal the fading but still there mark just above her breasts. His hand rested on it and her hand went over his.

Their mouths fused together again; tongues touching, tasting, savoring. Neither Kate nor Rick could wipe the smiles off their faces when they broke away from the kiss. Both were elated with love and passion. This was it. Intertwining her fingers with his, hand in hand, Kate led Rick to their next step.

Tauntingly slow, Rick flipped Kate onto his bed and undid the rest of the buttons on her shirt, all the while still kissing her. Kissing her scar again he breathed in her scent. He kissed his way up to her neck finally noticing the bruises along the sides. Sucking in a deep breath, he lifted his head to notice her shirt had fallen open, revealing large purple bruises along her sides.

Kate watched the light go out of Rick's eyes as worry and horror entered. "Kate," he breathed, 'what happened to you?" He ran his thumb under the bruise on her neck. It looked like she had been strangled. He couldn't hide his worry as he lied down next to her and pulled her too him.

"My sniper," she said quietly, melting in his arms and breathing in his scent now.

Oh Kate. "What happened?"

"Espo and I went off to investigate on our own after Ryan tried to stop us. Maddox, our sniper, got the drop on us. We fought on the top of his hotel roof."

"And he strangled you?" Rick questioned.

Kate took in a deep breath and nodded slowly. She wasn't sure whether she should tell Rick the next part or not but he deserved to know exactly what happened no matter how hard it was going to be to tell. "And then he..."

"And then he what Kate?" Rick asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

She ran her fingers up and down his arms, just needing to touch him. "He threw me off the edge of the roof and then walked away. He got away and I was dangling from a roof but there was only one thing on my mind: you."

Rick sucked in a sharp intake of air while he tried to calm down. Kate has almost died again and he hadn't been there this time. Well wasn't that why he left after they fought in her apartment? Because he didn't want to watch her put herself in these dangerous situations over her mother's murder? He couldn't not care though. He would always care. He cared too much. He loved her too much.

"Kate," he murmured, bringing his lips to hers. He kissed her softly before pulling back and gazing into her hazel eyes. "You can't keep doing this Kate. I've almost lost you too many times. I can't lose you again. I know I've asked you to step down more times than I wish I had to but I just need you to be safe. You mean too much..."

Kate cut him off with her lips again. All her emotion and love were put into the kiss; she had to show him she was done putting her life in danger.

"It's okay Rick; I'm safe now."

"You can't know that Kate. What about next time?"

"There is no next time," she informed him. Confusion swept across his face but he didn't say anything—knowing that if he didn't push she might continue. "While I was dangling from the edge of that roof all I could think about was how I couldn't die without you knowing how I feel about you. I couldn't die without us giving it a shot. I love you Rick and I can't imagine life without you anymore."

He cut her off with another kiss as she melted farther into his arms. Then bringing his lips up to her forehead he whispered against her skin, "I love you Kate."

Brushing the back of her hand along his cheek and lingering there as her fingers trailed across his skin she continued, "I kept calling out for you Rick and I could your voice yelling mine back in return, but it wasn't you. I slipped off but Ryan caught my arm just in time. But he wasn't you. Ryan had told Gates that Espo and I had gone off on our own. She was with him on the roof."

"He had to tell her you know," Castle said softly," I know you didn't want Gates to know but Ryan saved your life."

"I know," Kate agreed, "I'm not mad at him." She wasn't either; she knew he was only trying to protect herself and Javier. "Javi on the other hand..."

"What happened?"

"When we got back to the precinct Gates blew up and Espo and I. She suspended Esposito."

"And you?" Castle asked with worry.

"I resigned," she said in a low voice.

He couldn't have heard her right; Kate Beckett would never resign. "Kate..."

"Yes Rick," she said cupping his cheek, "you did hear me right. I can't stay at the precinct anymore. I became a cop because of my mother's murder and for the past thirteen years I have let it define me. I have thrown so much of my life away because of this Rick; you were right. I've always said that this case is the most important thing in my life but I was wrong; it's not—you are. After my mom was murdered I started reading my mom's favorite books—your books—to keep a part of her alive in me. They kept me from drowning. Those books saved me Rick and now the author of them is in love with me and I'm in love with him and..."

Kate's words were cut short once again by Rick's lips crashing down on hers. The passion increased as he deepened the kiss. Mouths opened and tongues battled. Suddenly she was on top of him, straddling him, and undoing his shirt buttons. His shirt came off and hers immediately followed. The jeans came next; both of them being teasingly slow undoing each other's belts and buttons.

His jeans slid off easily; she stroked and squeezed him through his boxers and his arousal increased. Her jeans on the other hand were much harder to get off due to how tight they were and the fact that they were still soaked from the rain.

Feeling a sense of victory, Castle tossed the ex detective's jeans to the side. He teasingly ran a finger under the waistband of her black lace underwear (was she trying to kill him?) and she moaned.

He slowly slid the underwear down her long legs. Reaching around her back he undid her bra and let it fall to the bed. She was in his bedroom—fully naked—and he couldn't believe it.

She was beautiful.

Rick's boxers were the next to come off—leaving them both completely naked now. He flipped her over so he was now on top and their mouths fused together again.

Cupping her breasts, Castle played with her now taunt nipples. Kate practically hummed with approval and arousal—keeping control was going to be difficult.

"Rick," she moaned as he brought one of his hands up to her hot, wet core and dipped a finger into her folds.

Adding another finger and then another he pumped hard and fast—curling his fingers to hit the right spot. He could already feel Kate coming undone under his hand. He flicked her clit with his thumb and her hips buckled against his hand. She rode out her first orgasm as her walls tightened against Rick's fingers.

"Castle please," she begged. His lips went back to hers, silencing her mid-plea. Rick tangled his hands in Kate's hair and she grabbed his face with hers; pulling him closer.

Kate brought her hand down between his legs and gripped him hard. "Kate," he growled. She just smiled as he mumbled, "Evil woman."

He flipped her around again, bringing his tip to her entrance. He knew page one-o'-five and Nikki Heat would have nothing on Kate Beckett.


Rick knew he must be dreaming when he woke up to Kate Beckett sleeping beside him. Oh well, if he was he didn't want to wake up. Pulling her tighter into his arms he nuzzled his face into her hair and closed his eyes again.


The next time Rick woke up it was to the feel of Kate's lips dangerously close to his.

"Good morning," he said grinning as he kissed her.

"Morning sleepy head."

"I can't believe last night was real," he murmured against the soft skin of her cheek.

"I can't either," she admitted, "but I'm so glad it was."

"Me too," he smiled, "we waited far too long."

"That we did. Do you know what else we have waited far too long for?"

"What?" he asked still amazed that this beautiful woman was laying beside him.

Her smile widened as she gave him a playful kiss before hopping out of his bed. "'Morning after' pancakes!"

This woman was going to kill him.


"You're going to pay for that Richard Castle!" Kate threatened as she wiped the pancake batter off her face that Rick had flicked at her.

"Oh really?" he grinned.

She grabbed an egg out of the carton on the counter and moved closer to him. She raised her arms over his head as if she was going to crack the egg over his noggin. Giving him a wicked look she lowered her arms and gave him a searing kiss instead.

The egg in Kate's hand was forgotten as it fell to the ground with a splat. They were going to have a mess to clean up later.

Suddenly they were both wrapped up in arms, legs, and tongues. Castle slammed Kate down on the clear part of the counter and started trailing kisses along her neck and jaw bone.

He ripped open the button down shirt of his she was wearing exposing the lacy bra and underwear she had managed to put back on before they entered the kitchen.

He was kissing his way down to her scar when the door opened.

"Richard?" Martha Rodgers called out, "You seemed rather upset yesterday so I decided to come back to convince you to stop your moping and come to the Hamptons with me." The actress sauntered into the kitchen while Kate struggled to cover up with Rick's shirt. "Kate!" Martha exclaimed with clear surprise in her face and voice.

"Hello Martha."

A/N: Going to go hide now because I wrote smut and am terrified to post this...