Have you ever been so obsessed with someone that they become your number one goal in life? Well, for me I found someone like that. I would do anything in the world for him. There's one catch. He has no idea who I am. Now, don't start judging me or labeling me as insane. I would never hurt anyone and I would never hurt myself to get his attention. If I ever catch his eye I want it to be because he thinks I'm just the most irresistible woman he has ever seen and he wants to spend his life with me.
In Chicago, Phil Brooks, better known as CM Punk is coming home from a rare day off. He tosses his keys on the table by the door and takes off his hoodie and hangs it on the hook by the door. He picks up his mail and turns on the radio. Some random Punk music is playing at a rather deafening volume. Lucky for him, he doesn't have any neighbors to disturb. A pretty purple and orange envelope gets his attention. It's obviously a female's hand writing on the outside of the envelope. No return address. He looks at it confused and opens it.
CM Punk: "Why take the time to deliver it to my house if you don't want me to return something to you?"
He unfolds the purple paper and reads the letter inside.
"My Dearest Punk,
You have no idea who I am and I think its best that I don't reveal my name to you. I mean you no harm. Let me be clear about my intentions. I am not a stalker and I am not a psycho. I'm just a normal person like any other person out there on the street. You're probably wondering why I'm being so mysterious and weird. Truth is I don't want you to know me yet. We've already met before. I'm at every WWE event you are at and I sit right up front. When you won the championship in Chicago I was there. You jumped on me and we celebrated your victory. We will meet soon. I promise."
Not quite sure how to take what he just read. Punk decides to call his best friend Amy.
Amy: "Hey Punkers. I was just thinking about you."
CM Punk: "Were you really?"
Amy: "Yeah. I hear your back in Chi town."
CM Punk: "Yeah. I'm not only back in Chi town I am at my condo right now. Do you want to come over and hang out? I kind of got a strange letter in the mail today and want your take on it."
Amy: "OK. I'll be there in 10."
CM Punk: "I'll see you then."
He hangs up and sits down on the couch. He looks at the strange little purple and orange letter and shakes his head.
CM Punk: "I'm not a stalker or a psycho". That's usually the first thing a stalking psycho says. Normal people on the streets don't go around leaving anonymous mail in people's boxes."
The knock on the door pulls him out of his thoughts. He looks through the peep hole and sees Amy's fire red hair as she is looking down at her phone. He opens the door and the 5'7 woman jumps on him and throws her arms around him in a huge best friend hug. He kisses her and she jumps down on the ground.
Amy: "I missed you Phil."
CM Punk: "I missed you too, Amy. Dude, check this out."
He hands her the little purple and orange letter.
Amy: "Oooh, it smells like it's from a girl, Punkers."
She nudges him and smiles like a school kid teasing him.
CM Punk: "Really? I'm just Punk or just Phil. No Punkers anymore. I've grown up."
Amy: "I know. I just think it's cute and you allow me to say it. Seriously, someone is crushing on you. She took the time to spray the letter with her perfume and everything.
CM Punk: "Did you read the whole thing? The whole "I don't want you to know me yet" thing and how about how she has to announce that she's not a psycho stalker. Doesn't that throw up a warning flag? It sounds very cryptic and how the hell did she find my mail box? It was in there with my normal mail."
Amy: "What if she just stopped the post man and said it was in her box by mistake?"
CM Punk: "What if she's standing outside right now staring at us plotting our demise?"
Amy: "Dude, you totally worry too much. It's innocent. She's not threatening your life or even saying she wants to get physical. It's just a declaration that she is out there and she knows you. It's probably some 12 year old girl with her first crush."
CM Punk: "12 year old girls don't talk like that."
Amy: "Ok a 15 year old girl with her first crush."
CM Punk: "That's possible. I don't know. It's unnerving that she got close enough to put that in my mail. That means she knows where I live and she knows my routine. What if it is some psycho?"
Amy: "What if it's AJ and this is her way of doing fore-play? You did say you dig crazy chicks. Maybe she's just getting your curiosity peaked."
CM Punk: "I am cautiously curious, but I'm not going to set up some face to face with what could be a potential crazy stalker chick. That's asking for trouble. What if she tries to hurt me?"
Amy: "And again, you're paranoid. She just wants you to acknowledge that she exists."
CM Punk: "Not really. She puts no name and no return address. I'm going to come home one day and find a boiled rabbit on my stove."
Amy: "Over reacting much?"
CM Punk: "Not reacting enough."
He puts the letter in a manila folder and sets it aside.
CM Punk: "I'm going to keep track of everything she sends and then I'm gonna show security."
Amy: "Ok I can understand having a cautious curiosity about you, but calling out the National Guard over one little pretty purple piece of paper is not exactly rational behavior. Besides, I hate to say it, but they don't do anything unless there is a clear and present danger. If she were standing here wielding a gun at you, they'd come do something about it. As for collecting her notes and proving she's nuts, they don't tend to care."
CM Punk: "It's all I can do for now until she makes another move. Let's go shoot some pool at Mickey's."