hay gays so i am new here , and this is my first story i hope you like it , please review its important to me


I have never given much thought to how I will die , but from that day .. that damned day when I found out that I was … that I am .. sick . yup .. sick I may say .. there is not a single day hasn't past that I don't think about it , how I will die , and oh .. my mother how would she cope with my death ! she doesn't deserve this she is to kind to have a broken heart ahhhh , but the most scaring thing that I am not afraid of it , that's why I was moving out .. will , let me tell you about everything . I am Isabella swan and I have leukemia .. of those of you who doesn't know what that is .. well , it's type of a cancer .. " blood cancer " ,it characterized by an abnormal increase of immature white blood cells called "blasts". Leukemia is a broad term covering a spectrum of diseases. In turn, it is part of the even broader group of diseases affecting the blood, bone marrow etc.. that was a year a go I haven't told a soul about it , even my mother , I know that she can feel the deference in my situation a lot , she talked to me a lot about it , so I triad to pot a happy face , and pretend to go out with friends just to make her relive a bit , not that I go with my " friends" if you can call them that , so I go to the beach and .. think about life .. and that awful day ..

(A flash back )

I was waiting for the nurse to call me in .. I was in the waiting room taping my foot impatiently on the floor underneath me wail I hear a baby crying so loud I thought I would scream right now .. ahhhh I was her just to check up my sore knee , it became a bit uncomfortable to walk on .. but to my greatest relive the nurse has called my name finally for the x-ray … I set at the chair waiting for the doctor to finish his work with something he had in his hand and thin he walk slowly to his office and set down with a little V between his brows .. I felt unease a bit .. why is he frowning ?.. he was quite for a moment and after that he rose his ayes and I felt this weird unease feeling at the end of my stomach … he open his mouth " miss swan I am afraid that there is some bad news for you " he said with a bit of pity on his voice …..

(end of flash back)

three years .. he told me that if I hadn't start to tack the treatment right away I would have 3 years to live of course he didn't tell me right away , after I insisted that he told me every thing he know .. he did .. at first I was really going to have a tray on this but when I sow that my health insurance doesn't cover but six sessions of the treatment I drop it because the sessions are expensive a bit and the doctor said that I would need many sessions so I didn't want my mother to spend very high price on something uncertain and the success rate was 10% very low and .. and .. at the end I will die , no I won't be selfish and make my mother broke. yes, I would die even if she paid for all the sessions i know it was too late for that , so I lied to hem to dr. macron and told hem that I would transfer my treatment and papers to another hospital in the city that we would move in to. I required from hem to keep this secret between the tow of us and no one else , he agreed unhappily on this . I know that it sound crazy that I don't want the treatment that would save my life , but really six sessions wont do anything to me , I am dealing with my upcoming death calmly , (some time it freaked me out) hoping that there would be good things for me in the other world the other side , better ….. , so I decided that I would spend the time I had left with the ones I love , I have to spend time with my dad the one that I didn't see from a very long time maybe this will bond us a bit , get to know my father , and also I would try to put some distance between me and my mother because I didn't want her be hurt very much when I .. , so yeah I would push her away for her own good .. , I noticed that it got very dark out side so I get up and walk to my home or .. the home I would leave in a short couple of days .. damn its going to be hard to say goodbye to every thing here specially my dear mother .. I would miss her so much .

so what do you think , i hope you tell me what you think honestly .. thanks for reading and sorry for any errors .