hello, guys. this is the fifth chapter. and thank you thank you thank for those who reviewed to my last chapter. i'm really grateful.
this chap is not very long because i'm a little under the weather and this is what i managed. so please enjoy!
disclaimer: i don't own twilight or any characters.
I need more time, God!
Chapter 5 (Bella):
We drove to my house in a comfortable silence, Edward's arm was around my waist and his other hand was on the steering wheel.
There was a frown on his face and I knew that he was thinking deeply about something. I was too curious about his thoughts.
Is he thinking about me? About this weird situation that we are in?. not that I object or anything. I know that I cant be without him again, and it felt weird that all of the sudden, I cant be without him even for a second. How can we do this? I mean, we cant be together all the time, Charlie would freak out if he saw Edward in his house. He knew that I wasn't here long enough to have a boyfriend. Wait! What's wrong with me, Edward didn't say anything about us being together, we weren't in a relationship, I think.
What are we, then?. I thought as I embraced the feeling of his arm around me.
I guess that we will find out soon.
I leaned in automatically and rested my forehead against his chest, smelling his all too sweet scent, lavender mixed with jasmine, it was cold, beautiful… and dark.
I moaned softly without thinking.
When I realized what I just did, my face blushed ten shads of red.
Oh my god, he will think I'm creepy now.
But he didn't say anything. Instead, he tightened his arm around around me and kissed the top of my head tenderly. I was still embarrassed and my face still flushed.
I turned my head so that the side of my face was resting on his chest instead. My breath catches in my throat and my eyes grown ten times wider.
Did I hear correctly?
I listened closely; there must be something wrong with my ears. Or my mind is playing tricks on me.
I put my hand on against his heart; to feel any beat… but there was none.
That cant be possible, if he has no beat, then he wouldn't be walking right now. He would be dead.
I'm going crazy for sure.
I was so catch up in my thoughts that I didn't notice the car comes to a stop in front of my house.
His hand wrapped around mine a bit tightly, surprising me, and making me jump a bit.
I looked up and met with his very agonized eyes.
My chest tightened when I saw the pain in his eyes. My eyes watered. I just wanted his pain to go away, even if it meant that his pain would transfer to me just so it goes away, I would take it gladly.
I touched his cheek tenderly, trying to smooth his pain away. My earlier worries momentary forgotten.
"I know that you are thinking a lot of things in your mind, and… I know that … that you are very confused right now,… I-I really didn't want you to find out this way but…" he closed his eyes tightly then opened them again. The pain was still there and I know that he was trying vey hard to hide it from me.
"I will explain everything to you and… and your free to do whatever you want" he continued with a nervous stutter.
I grabbed a fistful of the fabric of his shirt in my hand, which was still rested on his hard chest and looked dead into his eyes "What is it?" I asked, my voice was wavering a bit. He held my hand in his. His skin was colder then usual, but his skin was still smoother then silk.
"I will tell you. if you want to know the truth, of course." He reassured.
I smiled softly "I trust you" I said firmly.
His eyes fluttered in surprise before they soften. He nodded and then opened the car door.
We got out and walked straight to the front door, holding hands firmly.
The electricity was buzzing between us and his touch was making my skin tingle.
I knew that Edward wasn't normal. I have known this from the moment I led eyes on him. His pale skin, his golden eyes, his hard cold skin when I touched him just now, it all says that he was the furthest thing from normal. Hick, I wasn't normal my self. I was some freaky human shield that had the ability to block a fife hundred pound bear from eating me alive. If that wasn't freaky, I don't know what is.
I opened the front door with the spear key that Charlie gave me when I first moved here and walked inside with Edward still holding my other hand tightly in his.
I felt a tiny bit of satisfaction, knowing that he couldn't let go of my hand even when I was opening the door.
When we were in, I went straight to the living room and sat down with Edward right beside me.
I turned to face him with a sigh. "So?"
"Would you like something to drink first?" I offered politely, with a genuine smile.
He blinked several times before he lowered his eyes to my lips for a second, just staring at them intensely with some strange emotion in his eyes…. Longing, perhaps?
What ever that stare was, it made my insides tingle and my lips to go numb.
He gulped before he returned his stare to my eyes "No… thank you" he stuttered and then cleared his throat loudly.
I smiled at his stuttering, it was kind of wired to see this god like creature stumbling upon his words, but in the same time it was kind of funny.
He stayed silent for a couple of minutes before lowering his eyes to our joined hands with a desperate sigh.
I know that what ever it was that he had to tell me… it was big, and that it was clearly hard for him to confess. So I gave him all the time he need to be ready without pushing for some answers.
"Ok, what am I about to tell you would sound crazy and pretty unbelievable, but please… I would like you to hear me until the end, and then your free to do whatever you want with me, are you ok with that?" he asked with a slightly trembling voice. I nodded without any hesitation, and I told him for the second time today "I trust you!"
I did trust him, with every fiber in my body. Don't ask me how; because I don't know the answer my self. I just know that I can trust him with my life… from the very moment when our eyes met… I felt that what was happening to us was … a natural, something that should have happened long time ago.
Dare I say that I … love him?
No, I cant let my self think like that, it's not fair to him if I loved him, I'm sick! Way too sick.
I really can't explain how I felt about him… my emotions were a jumble and so mixed up. I felt very protective of him, and so very possessive, and I want him to be near me all the time.
So he began to explain to me with a very nervous voice, lowering his eyes in some parts and looking at mine in others, to see my reaction to his words.
I couldn't move even if I wanted to, I was frozen in place; he was saying something impossible, unbelievable, but then again, my story was not so far from the impossible.
Is it possible?
I thought about his unbeaten heart under my hand just a few minutes ago in the car, and his overly cold skin, his paleness, his inhuman beauty.
I stared at his eyes for a very long time, trying to process what he just told me. I was in my own world of thoughts that I didn't notice Edward's worried voice calling me
"Bella?... Bella, please talk to me!" he touched my cheek tenderly.
I blinked several times to clear my head and turned my eyes to his.
"Are you alright?" he asked with a worried tune.
"Yes, I'm perfect" I smiled reassuringly, keeping my face calm.
He stared at my face for a long time, searching for something that I know he wouldn't find.
As crazy as it seemed… I believed him. I just knew he wasn't lying. I could see it in his eyes; they were begging me to believe him. And I do.
"Why are you smiling? I just told you that I'm not human, that I am a monster, why aren't you running away from me screaming your heads off" he said, shock was all over his face.
I frowned. Why would I runaway from him? I never felt safer in my life then in his arms. He had to know that.
"Why would I runaway?" I shook my head, confused.
"Because I just told you that I was a vampire, a monster, a killer. You should freak out" he almost shouted.
Anger was rising in my chest at his words.
"You are not a killer, and definitely not a monster." I shouted, firmly.
How can he see himself as a monster, he was the furthest thing from a monster. I can see how pure his soul is, whenever I look at his deep, topaz eyes. Something you don't see very often in other people's eyes.
I looked straight into his beautiful eyes, seeing sadness and true agony. I wanted to make him forget about it.
I took a deep breath to calm down and touched his cheek softly.
"I know you think I should be scared of you but I'm not. I do believe every word you said!" I said in a calm, steady voice.
"How can you not be scared of me … I could kill you Bella. So easily" he said angrily.
"But you won't. You could… but you don't want to so, you won't hurt me" I explained with a soft smile
"It might not work that way, Bella"
He stared into my eyes for a very long time, looking for something, but after what seemed a very long time, he sighed.
"So, your not afraid of me" he asked, with doubt in his eyes.
I smiled "Edward!… you make me feel safe, protected, and I've never felt safe as much as I do with you" I said firmly, trying to take away any doubt he had left inside his head.
He sighed, defeat. " You're unbelievable" he shook his head from side to side.
He touched my hand that was still resting against his cheek and pressed softly on it.
"You're so worm and soft… it's nice" he whispered tenderly. His voice was smoother then silk.
It sooth's your heart and soul.
My heart was beating furiously; his touch was very caring and soft and it made my senses heighten.
"I feel like I'm dreaming… and any second now I would wake up… of course that's impossible but…" he breathed against my hand with a quite laugh.
I smiled slightly "Do you want me to pinch you?" I asked teasingly.
He chuckled softly "I think you would hurt your fingers in the process"
I didn't say anything, I just kept staring at his beautiful face, his lips, his nose, his eyelashes… everything about him mesmerize me, he was beautiful … not just from the outside, but also from the inside as well.
Yes, I do love him. I had fell for him… deeply, and unconditionally as well. There was no way out of it.
My heart soured, as if someone stabbed me with a knife.
I want to love him forever, and I want to fully give my self to him, but there isn't much to give. Why would he want a sick, plain girl that has very few months to live? He deserve so much better… he deserves everything. I want to love him … so much.
I closed my tearful eyes tightly, praying for the heavens above.
I just need more time… Please God, I need more time!
so this is it, i hope from the bottom of my heart that you enjoyed. "Do you think that i will kill Bella at the end of the story?". tell me what you think please.
oh and i have a preview for you. excited?!
i was looking around at the paintings at Carlisle's study while Edward was bringing me some water, when i heard soft hushed whispers just outside of the door
"that stupid human girl is going to be the death of us all, and you know it Emmett. that thing has to die or we're gonna be in great danger. i don't want a pathetic human to disturb my peace" a harsh but beautiful voice said. it was barely even a whisper.
and i assumed that voice belongs to Rosalie.
my chest ache's and my eyes began to water. i wanted to tell her that i wasn't a danger to her or her family, that my time at this earth was short, but before i had the chance to say it a loud, angry growl erupted through the wall.