I do not own Ice Age unfortunately


The Remorseless Assassin


"Excuse me, but I happen to be a remorseless assassin." Really Diego?


Diego stood still, his eyes gazing towards the horizon. They were a long way from home and he wondered whether they would ever find their way back. His thoughts were interrupted by a soft female voice from behind. He felt a bizarre feeling rush through his body and quickly turned around. Shira's grinning face stared at him from an opening in a tree.

"You're pretty soft, for a sabre," she commented, a smirk on her face.

Diego frowned, his pride hurt. He took a step towards her, keeping his face expressionless. "Excuse me; I happen to be a remorseless assassin." He maintained a cool composure until the voice of Sid ruined the silence.

"DIEGO!" Sid sung, skipping gleefully towards them. There was something in his hand. "I made you a necklace!" Strung together by a vine and some random items, Sid threw the necklace around Diego's neck. Now he looked anything but a remorseless assassin. How humiliating.

He could hear Shira laugh and he felt awkward, a tinge of red crossing his cheeks.


Did he blush? He did not blush! He was a proud male sabre bachelor and males did not blush. But here he was feeling embarrassed. It wasn't his fault. His body was just reacting to the female presence. That was it... right? It had been years since he had any contact with a female of his own species.

"Awww how cute," Shira remarked, stepping out of the tree. "It looks good on you... a fitting look for a remorseless assassin," she teased, enjoying the frustrated look on Diego's face.

He uttered a low growl and removed the necklace from around his neck not caring if the stupid thing broke. "I am a remorseless assassin." He tried to speak with some dignity, but it was far too late. All dignity had gone.

She stepped closer towards him. He took a step back unsure of how to react. What did she want from him? And most importantly, what did he want from her? Try as he might, he could not get thoughts of her out of his head. "You're just a big softie," Shira teased again. "I'm surprised you can even hunt properly." She dropped down onto her belly, peering up at him with sapphire eyes.

He tried to ignore her, so he turned his back. "I can hunt perfectly fine." First she made fun of his soft attitude and now she mocked his hunting abilities? He was one of the best hunters around!

"Oh now that's just rude. Turning your back on a lady?" she mocked.

He turned around. "What do you want from me?"

"I'm here to help you find your friends."

"You don't even know them."

"I know you. You guys seem friendly enough, I'm sure your other friends can't be any worse," she replied, her eyes shining with mirth.

This was just embarrassing for Diego. Usually, he was the dominant one making the snide comments, but this girl was a challenge. "We don't need your help." Which was true. They had been on difficult journeys before without her assistance. This one would be no different.

Shira stepped even closer, but this time Diego stayed still. "What's wrong? Are you scared of me?"

Scared of a female? That would be the day. Scared wasn't the word. Interested was and it bothered him. "I'm not scared of you. You're a female." Oops. That wasn't the right thing to say. Soon, he found himself on his belly, with two strong paws pressed against his fur. "I didn't mean it in an offensive manner!" he protested. Well, he did but she wasn't to know that.

She took her paws off him. "So how did you mean it then?"

Damn her. Diego picked himself up from the ground and glared. Hadn't she heard of respecting privacy? Apparently not. "Females aren't as strong?" he offered weakly.

She didn't take offense, instead gave him a look that read, 'aren't-you-sexist?' She stood close next to him, rubbing her side against his own. He was stronger than her, but her smaller stature made her more agile. "And I'm more agile. I think we balance each other out."

Just what was her game anyway? Diego wasn't sure what to think. Soto was the one with a mate. He knew how to deal with women. "Yes... we do," was his intelligent response.

She circled him, her eyes never leaving his face. "What do you want Diego? Why do you travel with these herbivores?"

"They're my friends."

"Manny has a family and so does Sid. What about you? Don't you miss being with your own species?"

Diego shook his head. "No, I don't miss my pack at all." At least now he could make his own decisions.

She purred. "What about," she paused briefly, "female companionship?"

Diego was expecting this. "Never had the occasion."

"Aww, isn't that sad? Poor Diego, never been with a female before," she mocked.

Once there was a time he hated being mocked, but being around Sid made him more tolerant. Was he becoming a softie? He shuddered at the thought. "What do you want from me?"

She leant in closer to his ear and whispered. Diego felt his cheeks burn up from hearing her words. "Let me know what you think when you've made your mind," she said, pulling away. "I'll be seeing you," she added, walking away laughing softly to herself.

Diego regathered his composure and watched her leave, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the encounter. But he couldn't help but feel satisfied with the outcome. She had left the doors wide open.


Just a short one shot I wanted to d based on the trailer of Ice Age: Continental Drift. As always, reviews much appreciated!