There is no loneliness greater than the loneliness of a failure is a stranger in it's own house. - Eric Hoffer.
I know life won't go your way
and you never know what to say
when you have nothing left
I'll still love you more
There For You by The Undeserving
Her hands tremble as the victim's head falls from her hold. The head faces upwards and the lifeless eyes stare up at her. Elena's emotions slowly flood back to her.
She went to high-school with this girl.
She gasps, the tears coming faster than ever as she covers her mouth and screams agonisingly.
Everything had gone extremely bad since she turned a month ago. Tyler somehow survived and Rebekah was still pissed at her, but the two had talked and she actually felt ashamed at what she did. Caroline had been spending most of her time with her hybrid boyfriend -the young one, since as far as Elena knew, Klaus was a fried chicken, still kept intact in his coffin- and Stefan and Damon hadn't kept their promise. Jeremy had been the only supporting one, but even he had been keeping his distance.
They couldn't help her. She was too untamed and nothing worked for them. They went even as far as dipping her in vervain until Katherine interrupted them and snapped their necks, letting Elena go as she was in pure pain. The two doppelgangers had become friends and even though Katherine's techniques had worked, Elena was still constantly off the rails.
And now, Katherine had to leave town for a few days, while Elena had been taking rounds around town and killing anyone that stood in her way. She turned around, seeing two other bodies surrounding her and three about five metres from her.
Seeing an agile branch sticking out of the tree nearest to hers, she snaps it before she thinks and aims for her chest.
Quicker that a light-switch, she's up against the same tree. The stake falls out of her hands and across the clearing and she pushes against the hold. She's still crying though, and she can't push as hard as she normally does.
She looks up and only after a while does she realise that she doesn't fear the man before her. He doesn't look mad, even. He looks confused, bewildered and disappointed.
"Who did this?"
"Me," She chokes up and and looks down as a fresh wave of sobs leaves her body. The blood dribbles down her chin and onto her white sundress. Klaus still has her pressed up against the tree, and the smell of rain and citrus calms her down slowly.
When she looks up, she sees that he's annoyed but wears a patient mask. "Who turned you?"
He lets her go and she falls down onto the ground, leaning her back against the tree. The doppelganger shrugs and shakes her head. "After Damon and Stefan rescued me from you, I fell and hit my head on the steps. I had a major injury and Meredith had to give me vampire blood to heal me but she didn't tell anyone she did. Then when Alaric staked you, Rebekah got mad and stood in the middle of the bridge so that Matt would try to miss her and we drove off the bridge. Stefan tried to save me first but I wouldn't let him so he could save Matt."
He kneels down in front of her and lifts her chin up, smearing the blood on his fingertips.
"And what happened then, sweetheart?"
"I just remember drowning and waking up in the hospital. Caroline and Bonnie made this big deal about lecturing Stefan and Damon on how it was my choice to complete my transition, but they forced me to feed. The held me down and forced blood down my throat against my will."
He closes his eyes and sighs as the doppelganger starts crying again. "Come here, love. I'll take you home."
She shakes her head and takes his hand when he reaches for hers. "I don't want to go home. I look like Bloody-Mary."
He chuckles dryly and pulls her closer. "I'll take you to my estate so you can change, and then we'll have do something fun."
Childishly, her face lights up as she eyes him. "Fun? Like what?"
"Rip some throats out." He says casually.
Thrill and impatience floods her senses and she feels sick. How can something so bad sound so good?
She put on the white tank-top, black leather jacket, grey skinny jeans and black ballet flats that Rebekah borrows her. The two teenagers sit at Rebekah's window in her room and Elena releases a shaky breath.
"I though it would be easier as a vampire."
"It usually isn't for the first couple of months, but you get used to it."
Elena turns to the blonde vampire. "How could they do that to me?"
"They're selfish. No better than Kol or Nik."
"Is it wrong that I still loved them?"
There is a long pause in which Rebekah studies Elena's face. "Yes. It's wrong that you're holding onto your past. As a human, you needed Stefan's love and Damon's friendship. As a vampire, you need someone that will be able to show you the world, someone that will never go against your wishes and someone that would be willing to be with you for eternity. With the Salvatore brothers, you'll always love both of them."
Somewhere down the line, probably a month or two after, she sees Stefan and Damon again. They're sitting at the Mystic Grill bar and Elena enters with Caroline, Tyler and Klaus.
A hand rests on her black clad back and she leans into it ever so lightly. "If you want an out, just say so. I personally, would have a little fun with those toddlers, but since-"
She elbows the hybrid and shoots him a look which makes him flinch. Even though she was pretty much a baby vampire, she was amused by him fearing her. Maybe it was the fact that she had snapped at him a couple of times and he hadn't gotten out un-injured.
Her heels strum against the wooden floor and she sits at the bar. "A bottle of whiskey, Matt?"
The blonde ex-footballer looks up and smiles, his blue eyes sparkly and his smile sweet. "Sure thing, 'Lena."
Klaus walks up and sits next to her, blocking her view of the Salvatores who are sitting two seats down. Caroline and Tyler join.
That night when he had found her in the forest, both had slowly began helping each other move on from their past infatuations. Klaus had began accepting the fact that Tyler and Caroline belonged together and Klaus had been trying to rim into her head the fact that Damon and Stefan were bad for her.
"I was thinking," she says suddenly and he faces her. From behind him, she sees Damon perk up when he sees her. He looks different, almost impossibly older.
He catches her eyes and his right hand lingers in the air, creating a small wave. She looks away when Klaus answers. "Hmm, you always do."
She rolls her eyes and humour enters her face. "I wanted to go to Paris. Maybe even the Gold Coast. I'm sick of Mystic Falls."
"Oh, me too!" Caroline says and smiles instantly. The four laugh at the blonde's enthusiasm. Elena smells her before she even enters and smiles as she turns around.
Katherine enters the Grill and strides across the room, smiling in her direction. At this point, everyone in Mystic Falls had accepted that she had a long-lost twin.
Katherine looks at Klaus calmly. "I suppose I have missed a lot. Bothered to fill me in?"
Elena smirks and hands Katherine the bottle of whisky which she takes a long gulp from.
In the morning, she'll blame it on the alcohol. But right now, he's warm and patient and dangerous and he's here and she can't even walk straight in her alcohol induced state. The passion, desire and desperation clouds her judgement as she pushes him against the closest wall and kisses him.
It's a first, she guesses.
He returns her kisses with the same raging fire and all she can feel in that moment is fire, licking at her skin and eating away the last of her resolve. He breaks her free and has her on the closes sofa in seconds.
Through her drunk haze, she remembers the way his gaze lingers on hers and his fingertips graze her cheek when they're finally joint together. He murmurs sweet nothings against her ear and she melts into him, her worries washing away.
She manages to avoid him for a week before he demands entry into her house and argues about how immature and weak she is.
She feels like she disappointed him. She feels wounded because he's yelling at her. And she feels angry at herself because she's the one in the wrong.
Because through-out all this, he had been her mentor. He had shown her how to live without killing and how to let go of her worries to have fun.
And here she was, going against everything he had thought her. Running away from her responsibilities and friends just because she slept with him. While she was drunk.
"It's not about that, Klau-"
"Then what is it about then, Elena?" She can heat the slight rumble in his throat. His voice is cracking from the yelling, yet he still seems he's not done and she feels even more ashamed.
"Because you looked at me. That night after we made plans to go to Paris, you looked at me as if I was everything. And I can't let myself love anyone. Not after what they did from me. Even though I know you won't hurt me knowingly, I'm broken. And you deserve someone strong."
He looks almost as broken as she feels, and once again, she's ashamed, because she's the one with the power to break him and she uses it selfishly.
"Elena," he sighs, his resolve disappearing. He's whispering now. "You got through this on your own. I don't know anyone that's spiritually stronger than you. And I don't care about your flaws. We've all got them. Especially me."
He steps forward, and with desperation, she falls into his arms, the tears returning.
Just a little post-third season one-shot. Probably won't continue this, but I felt like writing something short while I'm typing the next chapter for Burning Road To Love and my first Dean/Elena one-shot.