Sorry this took so long, if you read the latest update of Itachi:Familiar of Zero, you'll know why.

On a side note, The Mist (2007). Just watched it a few days ago when there wasn't anything else on. Great movie; story, characters, suspense, the creatures. All of it's pretty damn awesome.

Except the ending.

That ending...

Actually, fuck that movie. Fuck that movie AND it's bullshit ending. I don't care if Stephen King liked that ending better than his original novella ending, he can blow the largest bag of dicks he can find, preferably from a red light district of a seedy port town in Indonesia somewhere. Bonus points if it's a bag of transvestite dicks speckled with genital warts.

Some would say that ending makes the movie. The only thing it 'Makes' for me is to make me not watch it again.

Fic o the day: Today's a double creature feature brohams, both of 'em are one shots but they are just delicious for what they are.

Forty one times dead by Ruskbyte A Harry Potter/Bleach cross, though funnily enough it doesn't show up in the crossover section, my guess is that this was before the crossover thing was implemented. Basically a romp of hilarity as Harry Potter finds out the he has died forty one times and had his memory wiped of it. Now, he is on his forty second and LAST life, If he dies again, that's it. Poof. Done. So, fed up, Soul Society combat's this by training harry in the Shinigami arts. Or at least his "Designated Death." trains him.

And By Designated Death I mean Zaraki Motherhumping Kenpachi.

Hilarity ensues.

Next up is Highschool SAO by Gabriel Blessing. I know that GB is a household name for epic length, epic tier fics. It's just that this particular one shot of his is so underrated... and it's just... I don't know, it just feels... ugh. It's like a well lived in home. It just feels... comfortable, like it's a work the author enjoyed. It has that home-y touch that IF and HoS lack to a certain extent, I guess thats what I'm getting at here.

Basically, post SAO Kirito summons Rias Gremory to free Asuna from the NerveGear that has her trapped in-game. One thing leads to another and he along with Asuna end up in Rias' peerage as pawns. How will Rias' peerage react when they realize that they harbor The Black Swordsman Kirito and Asuna The Flash in their midst? Well, that's why I'm linking this here, so all of you can read it. Now go on, off you trot.

Vid/song of the day: Shiro Sagisu - Chokkaku (Rayden Remix) Badassery Incarnate.

Words/randoms of the day: That moment when someone says. "I've heard so much about you." Me- Oh Shit.

"Kyubi speech"
'Kyubi thoughts'

Chapter 20: ROUND 2, Fight!"

"Hinata Hyuuga Vs Neji Hyuuga!"

The two Hyuuga stared each other down as the made their way to the arena floor.

As Hinata passed by Naruto, she felt a comforting hand pat her shoulder, knowing that her future husband was rooting for her, it made Hinata's determination to win even greater.

Not that she was going to lose, not when she had-

Hayate coughed, glancing back and forth as the two Hyuuga settled in front of him. "The second match is about to begin, are you both ready?" A pair of nods answered. "Alright then, you may begin!" Before leaping back to watch the fight

"Hinata-sama." Neji greeted coldly as the two faced each other on the arena floor. "I did not expect to fight you this soon, but I cannot say I am not looking forward to it." He Byakugan flashed to full power as he glared at the girl across from him. "I will give you this one chance Hinata, give up, I will not go easy on you and I will not stop until you are bloody on the floor."

Hinata stood there for several seconds, stiff as a board with her eyes closed. Then at some unseen signal the girls eyes snapped open, Byakugan flaring in them. "Neji... I know that we haven't spoken as family for quite some time but I've changed since last we sparred." She fell into the standard Jyuuken stance of the Hyuuga clan. "I will not have you or our family call me a failure or a weakling, not this time."

Neji scowled at the casual dismissal of his charity but that scowl soon turned into a frown as his own Byakugan scanned her stance. From casual observation, there didn't appear to be any openings in her guard. "You... have improved somewhat." Neji grudgingly admitted, though he went into his own Jyuuken stance. "However." The scowl returned. "It will not be enough."

And like a crack of lightning the two were in each other's faces, throwing and blocking Jyuuken strikes with impunity; appearing almost like a mirror of each other as they blocked low and high, adjusting stabbing fingertips or palm strikes by mere millimeters.

Lee blinked in surprise. "So fast." Coming from Lee, at least for those who knew the boy's true speed, that was a compliment.

Naruto who stood next to him, nodded. "That's a surprise to me as well, she wasn't nearly that fast the last time we sparred together." Naruto's gaze turned suspiciously to Anko. "You wouldn't have had anything to do with that, would you?

Anko cracked a hair thin grin. "Perhaps."

Naruto quietly facepalmed with a small groan. "What did you teach her?"

Kurenai, who had overheard the conversation moved closer as well. "Yes, what DID you teach MY student Anko?" The glare she leveled the purple haired special jonin could have peeled paint.

"Oh... not much." Anko sing-songed. "I may have put her through the Mini Gauntlet a bit and maybe, just maybe taught her a bit of Spitting Cobra to go along with it."

Naruto froze, turning slowly, mechanically to Anko. "You did what?"

"She did what?" Kurenai parroted the younger genin, though in confusion rather than horror.

"The Gauntlet." Naruto sighed, rubbing his forehead for the small headache blossoming up there. "Is an obstacle course meant for ANBU Captains and any ANBU willing to test themselves. It's very secretive and highly dangerous. The Mini Gauntlet is a course Anko put together herself a few years back to mimic some aspects of ANBU training and keep herself in shape. There's far less danger of course but it's still something that would make most chunin cringe to think about.

"And spitting Cobra?" She asked.

Naruto released his head to stare down at the two Hyuuga who were even now trading blows, every so often scoring a glancing hit. "Some aspects of Snake style are surprisingly similar to the Jyuuken; My Viper variation for instance is meant for cherry tapping pressure points, not unlike the Jyuuken's ability to strike tenketsu; Anko's Pit Viper is a variation that uses her love of poisons in conjunction with this; Python is meant for defense while using single heavy strikes to break bones and Anaconda is meant for strictly heavy frontal strikes; Boa is a happy medium between the two." Naruto stared down at the fighting pair and indeed noticed aspects of Spitting Cobra in Hinata's style; it was barely there but there was enough of the mindset for him to notice. "Spitting Cobra however-"

A sharp smack echoed as Neji was sent ass over teakettle as Hinata's rising knee caught the quickly ducking older Hyuuga in the jaw.

"-Does that..." Naruto finished with a snort.

Kiba whistled quietly off to the side. "Damn, Hinata is kicking his ass."

"A knee strike?" Kurenai frowned. "In a Jyuuken fight... how odd"

"Not odd." Naruto pointed out. "Unexpected, unorthodox and most importantly, unblockable."

Kakashi nodded along with the points. "Between two Jyuuken users it would be. With a focus on the hands to deliver strikes, most practitioners neglect other points of the body, preferring to strike from a solid base so that they can move seamlessly into their Jyuuken based jutsu. Neji is finding out the hard way that you can only block so much with your hands alone."

Anko grinned devilishly as Hinata moved in with another combo that set the rapidly backpedaling Neji back on his heels. "Spitting Cobra teaches lightning fast strikes with every point of the body; knees, elbows, palms, fingers, heels, toes, shins, shoulders, even the forehead if it's required." An Elbow caught Neji in the shoulder causing the teen to grunt in pain as it sent him into the far wall. "Combined with the Jyuuken and Byakugan it creates a high-impact soft style. Had Hinata wanted to kill Neji then this battle would have already been over with that first knee strike."

"She can use Jyuuken through the other points of her body?" Kakashi hmmed to himself, focusing more on the interesting fight. "A strike to the chin would have traveled to the brain and left him brain dead."

Kiba who had been listening to the explanation simply shook his head. "Damn, remind me not to piss off Hinata, ever."

"Duly noted." Shino agreed quietly.

Neji meanwhile was NOT doing well. He had taken to dodging Hinata's strikes, quickly and painfully readjusting his shoulder into place after taking several glancing hits, numbing his shoulders and hip. 'How is this possible!?' His mind all but screamed at him, dodging as best he could. The strike to the jaw had been a wake up call and forced him to use all of his not-so-inconsiderable speed to dodge Hinata's odd fighting style.

"I warned you, cousin." Hinata glared, facing Neji in her modified Jyuuken stance. "I will not be so easily defeated." The veins around her eyes bulged as the Byakugan flared with chakra.

Neji froze as he stared into the determined eyes of his cousin. 'How is she this strong? It's only been a half a year since the last time we sparred, how could she become so powerful so soon?' He focused on her body again with his Byakugan, scanning the girls Tenketsu and her Keirakukei. What he found after close observation sent a small shiver down his spine. 'Her network has doubled in size? And the Tenketsu... they're... pulsing?' He didn't have time to ponder the meaning of that as Hinata closed the distance between them to match him taijutsu to taijutsu again.

Fingers and palms traded blows as an occasional odd elbow or knee made it's way into the fight. The pair danced around each other, trading attacks that would have punched holes through cinder blocks, every once in a while scoring a solid hit as exhaustion started to make itself known. The duel of speed and skill ended however, with the pair standing back to back, breathing heavily and watching the other through their Byakugan

"Have you noticed it yet, Neji?" Hinata breathed harshly behind him, slinking lower into her stance.

Neji remained silent as he stared at Hinata through his Byakugan, still trying to figure out how she was matching him in strength and speed. He would have found it a bit easier to understand if that blasted flashing of her Tenketsu wasn't so irrita- Neji's eyes widened even further dispute his Byakugan's already bulging state; All the Jyuuken strikes he had landed were... dissipating? How?

"I knew I would have to fight you eventually, cousin." Hinata smiled sweetly. "And I prepared myself to fight you especially." She felt Neji tense up behind her as what she said dawned on him.

She could negate the short term effects of individual Jyuuken strikes? Then the only way to defeat her would be to go for a completely debilitating or lethal blow...

So be it.

"Hinata." A scowl formed on Neji's face. "It would have been better if you had just given up, I apologize in advance but." An arm lowered while the other raised, lowering his body nearly to the floor. "You are in range of my divination!"

Surprisingly Hinata looked to be rather calm in this situation as she lowered herself into a similar position. "I as well, Neji and you are in range of mine!"

Unseen by those around them the colors of the world inverted into black and white for the two Hyuuga as a Yin Yang symbol formed beneath them, around that two circles with trigram's surrounding them flared to life as their perception slowed down.

"Eight Trigrams: Sixty-four palms!"

"Eight Trigrams: Thirty-Two palms!"

Both fighters twisted in place, bringing fingers around in a arc of destruction. "Two Palms!" They yelled together, each matching and deflecting the other. "Four Palms!" Again they were matched and stopped before any strike could get through. "Eight Palms!" The speed between them picked up as they moved only a few short inches from each other. "Sixteen Palms!" For anyone not a Jonin and above, a doujutsu wielder or Naruto the hands of the two Hyuuga were nothing but a blur. "Thirty-Two Palms!" Hinata's technique finished first in a last burst speed and jabbing fingers; the girl landed in a guard position, her Byakugan flashing dangerously.

'Now!' Neji roared in his mind, taking advantage of Hinata's loss of agility. "Sixty-four palms!" The elder Hyuuga spun, adding more force behind the strikes as he unleashed the final part of his attack. Time slowed for both Hyuuga as the adrenaline pounding in their blood sluggishly bringing the fight down to where it seemed like they were fighting in slow motion. 'Hinata-sama.' Neji sneered. 'Your fate was decided the moment that you were chosen to fight m- what' The older Hyuuga blinked in shock as the first couple of strikes struck their intended target but shockingly Hinata had raised her hands and was standing in very odd pose, almost like that of a sumo wrestler. While strange, the next set of dozen blows were stopped with the palms of her hands, as were the next... and the next... By the time the sixty-fourth and final blow had landed the girls hands were bruised red and purple but had weathered most of the damage.

The next moment Hinata was in his face. "I told you Neji, I was completely prepared to defeat you!" Stars flared in his vision as Hinata's forehead flattened his nose against his cheek. Neji's head flew back and his eyes closed, though with his Byakugan active he didn't miss a single movement as Hinata spun to where her back was facing him and their bodies were so close as to almost be touching. "Eight Trigrams-" The girl intoned before letting out a harsh shout, slamming both of her elbows back into the larger Hyuuga's sides. "-Sōkotsu!" Chakra arced from the tips of her elbows, slamming into his stomach with the force of a wrecking ball; The chakra traveling so quickly and violently through his body that it exploded out the back, tearing through the fabric of his shirt in the process.

Neji folded over the blow for a moment, mouth gaping and blood flying from his lips before inertia finally reasserted itself and he flew back into the wall behind him, sending spiderweb cracks through the stone before he fell to the floor.

Hayate walked over to the still body of Neji and checked his pulse. After several moments he nodded. "Hinata Hyuuga is the winner by knock out."

All strength seemed to leave Hinata's legs as she collapsed to a kneeling position, chakra exhaustion setting in. Hinata grimaced slightly as her Byakugan deactivated. 'It seems... even with all the training I've gone through, I'm still unable to pulse my chakra like that for long periods of time.' She clenched numb and bruised fingers, feeling slightly sick at the dark purplish bruises over the tenketsu of her palms; that would definitely take a while to heal.

As the medic's carted off Neji, Hinata turned to her audience, one crazy blonde in particular and smiled beatifically.

"Way to go Hinata!" Kiba pumped a fist as Shino next to him let out a grunt and a small nod of acknowledgement; Naruto just smiled proudly.

"She has definitely improved by leaps and bounds." Kurenai mused quietly, though her expression soured as her head turned to regard her purple haired friend. "You didn't teach her anything else did you? Particularly anything... unsavory..."

Anko snorted.

Kurenai let out a longsuffering sigh. "Did you at least teach her what protection is?"

Anko's return giggle did little to settle the woman's fears.

"(Cough) Ahem!" Everyone's eyes were drawn to Hayate, who was once again in the center of the room. "Now that I have your attention, the next match will soon begin." The matching board once again clicked through the remaining names until-

"Shino Aburame VS Yoroi!"

The two combatants eyed each other up as the made their way to the bottom of the arena.

'So I get the creepy silent guy eh?' Yoroi clenched his fists in anticipation. 'Let's see what these Aburame can actually do against someone of 'my' skills.'

'A fellow leaf nin?' Shino ran a critical eye over the nin, noting his dress and any weapons upon his person. 'Hmm, lacks any noticeable weapons aside from a kunai pouch. Calluses on hands and fingers denote extensive taijutsu practice; air of confidence present, close combat would be unwise. Further, clothing is similar to that of his teammates, suggesting a speciality between the three of them, given that it is a variation of medical corps issue clothing it is quite possible that they have knowledge of the body and possible medical fighting ability, caution warranted.' After the clinical deconstruction of his opponents possible abilities, Shino stood more confident in front of his opponent, though he still prepared a bug clone just in case he was wrong.

Hayate glanced at the two silent fighters before slashing his hand down between the two. "Begin!" before leaping back to allow the fighters room.

"How about I start this off?" Yoroi drew a kunai and launched it at Shino's chest, in response, Shino grabbed his own kunai and deflected the thrown weapon to the ground. Moment's later another kunai ground along the blades surface, this one held in Yoroi's hand. "Quick reflexes, I like that." The man's hand lanced forward to grab a hold of Shino's kunai arm and immediately started glowing a dull blue.

Shino's eye's widened behind his sunglasses as he switched places with his bug clone, his previous position exploding in a swarm of angry Kikaichu.

"Ahh!" Yoroi swatted at the swarm of bugs before leaping away to distance himself from the tiny parasites that were eating away at his chakra. As the man got to his feet, he noticed that Shino was standing a dozen or so feet from him, a curious look on his face. "I see the chakra absorbing abilities of your clan run true." Yoroi ground out, draining the chakra from the bugs until they were husks on the ground.

"You have a similar ability." Shino noted, his dry monotone sounding almost bored. Though, if you were to listen, you could hear an air of curiosity in his voice at finding another person who's main combat skill was absorbing chakra.

"Shall we continue?"


The two clashed again, Yoroi scoring glancing hits from his chakra stealing fingers even as the Kikaichu continued to suck chakra from his body. The match came to a standstill as Shino locked hands with Yoroi, the smaller area of contact further from his chakra coil giving him precious seconds to think. Yoroi, seeing his chance forced his chakra stealing powers out full blast.

In response to the large amount of chakra flow, Shino's bugs swarmed his opponent, their thousands of tiny mouths keeping pace with Yoroi's greedy hands even as Yoroi's powers started to kill them off while dragging the Aburame around the room, playing keep away from the swarm.

Up in the stands Kakashi shook his head, his team glancing at him silently. "Both of them are absorbing each other's chakra, It's now a race to see who runs out first."

"Yeah." Sasuke stared down at the fighters with his Sharingan active. "There's an almost visible ring of chakra circling between the two."

"Do you think Shino can win?" Naruto frowned. "Because I don't really like the smell coming from him and his teammates."

Sakura and Sasuke nodded, Kin however, had a small look of confusion on her face. "Smell?" She asked quietly beside him.

"Naruto has really good senses." Sakura whispered to her.

"Like all good foxes." Karin chuckled. "So what does he smell like anyway?"

Naruto grimaced. "It's faint, but they smell like snakes" The rest of team seven, Karin and Kin flinched at that. Kakashi's eyes sharpened as he took a deep whiff of the air as well.

"Now that you mention it..." The Jonin mumbled, eyes darting to the to the other side of the arena to the Jonin sensei of the sound team. For a moment he met the eyes of the Jonin and felt more than saw the amusement in his snake like eyes. Kakashi froze, he'd have to report this to the Hokage... after the matches. Orochimaru may be ballsy by coming here but there were plenty of people that he could take hostage. He needed to be discreet about this.

Down on the arena floor, Yoroi and Shino were still locked in a battle of wills, seeing who would drop first.

Shino tried to pry Yoroi's arms off 'Ugh. This situation is not the best of circumstances.' Try as he might he couldn't shake the other Leaf nin off and their struggle ended up on the floor in an impromptu wrestling match where a single lapse in concentration would spell the end.

Yoroi ended the clench first as he found his way on top of his opponent, taking a chance, the nin quickly grabbed a Kunai and tried to slam it home. Shino used his forearm to block the downward stab but flinched as Yoroi dropped the kunai above his head. The Kunai missed his eye by mere centimeters as it stuck in the floor.

Then the small explosive tag attached to the handle exploded.

A thick blanket of smoke erupted as the two nin separated, Yoroi leapt to the left, relatively unharmed with a side benefit of most of what few Kikaichu left attached to him were either killed by the shockwave or blown off during the explosion, Shino on the other hand went right and was honestly lucky to be alive right now; Had his Kikaichu not absorbed most of the explosion with their bodies he would probably be missing the flesh and bone from half his face. As it stood, his ears were ringing and there were spots in his vision as the bright flash made it through his sunglasses and the thick layer of bugs.

Going over a quick mental check of his bugs left the teen grimaced under his collar. 'Less than forty-five percent... conditions unfavorable for continued battle.' He stared down at the bugs crawling along his arms for a moment, contemplating the best method to handle Yoroi. 'He absorbs chakra as quickly as I do and can kill my Kikaichu by draining their chakra; Is also difficult to pin with my Kikaichu, the only time he slows down is when...' The Aburame narrowed his eyes slightly. 'Yes... that could work...' Shino calmly closed the distance between them until they were only a dozen feet from each other. "Your skills are... admirable." He eyed the blue glow of chakra on the other nin's hands warily. "A worthy opponent."

Yoroi nodded slowly, always keeping Shino in his field of view. "You as well bug boy."

The two nodded, a small bit of respect passing between them as they rushed at each other. Shino watched carefully for the moment he could initiate his plan as he carefully dodged the other nin's grip. His eyes sharpened when he noticed Yoroi going for another grapple, the bug nin mimicked his movements and their hands clasped again in a bid for dominance, though with less Kikaichu to drain his opponents chakra he was starting to feel the fatigue of this plan of action. No matter, what few bugs he had left encompassed the entirety of the two fighters, obscuring them from outside view.

At some unseen signal the two leapt away from each other, each staring the other down.

"This is getting us nowhere." Yoroi growled. "Don't you have anything else besides those damn bugs?"

Several people behind Yoroi started snickering.

Shino adjusted his glasses, taking in his opponent for a moment. "I suppose." He held up a half Tora handsign. "That I could simply end this with a bang."

Yoroi's eyes widened as he felt more than heard the hissing noise behind him, then he knew no more as an explosion enveloped him.

"Did Shino just make a joke?" Kiba mumbled to himself, a bit shocked that the normally humorless bug user had actually attempted something resembling humor.

"Bug delivered explosive tags to the back hehehehe. Freaking priceless." Naruto wiped a small tear from his eye, laughing too hard to really say much more than that.

Hayate held a hand up to get the attention of the audience. "Winner of the third Match; Shino Aburame!" As the bug user made his way back to the stands the randomizer screen started ticking through the participants.

'Please let me be next, please let me be next!' Lee was nearly doing backflips in his excitement.

'Please let me not be next, please let me not be next.' Shikamaru, obviously.

'Not Lee or Gaara, not Lee or Gaara.' Naruto.

The three most emotional about the exams let out various noises as the screen clicked into place.

Lee groaned in disappointment

Shikamaru sighed in relief

Naruto swallowed in worry.

"The next match is decided; Sakura Haruno vs Gaara of the Desert."

Sakura took a leaf out of Naruto's book and cursed vehemently.


I am an evil bastard; I know this, you're assurances are unnecessary at this point.

Several of Hinata's abilities were drawn from a couple of characters who I like a lot, one's from a videogame, the other is from an anime. I'm sure you can figure out the anime one fairly quickly but can you figure out the videogame reference in this chapter?


Eight Trigrams: Sōkotsu (Twin Bone)


A double Jyuuken strike of considerable power. Can be used with the hands but can be used with similar effect via the elbows, knees or feet if the hands are incapable of performing it.


Hinata's "True" Power.

-Because reasons. Warning, this is kind of huge for an omake.-

Hayate glanced back and forth between the two Hyuuga. "You may begin." before leaping back to watch the fireworks.

"Hinata-sama." Neji greeted her coldly as the two faced each other on the arena floor. "Give up now failure, you have no chance at defeating me."

Hinata winced as her cousin's words bit deep into her feelings, the girl hung her head, eyes low and shadowed by her hair.

Judging this to be her resolve weakening, Neji continued to stick in the metaphorical knife. "Just give up, You have no business in this exam, fate has shown time and again that you will never defeat me.

Hinata flinched, if one were close enough you could hear a distinct *Click click* noise, like a switch being pulled.

That's when the collective audience froze, those that weren't experienced enough to know only felt the slightest twinges on their peripheral. The more hardened ninja there, felt what could only be their sixth sense screaming at them to make it stop.

Then Hinata's eyes turned wistful as her pseudo half-brother talked down to her. "Neji-nii" The bluenette's lip lifted up into a small pout. "Why do you have to be so mean to me."

Oh... Oh god.

Naruto's eye twitched. The orb along with it's sibling glancing over at Anko who was fighting to hold in her giggles. Naruto casually walked over to his first wife, eye still twitching as he did so. "You didn't...?" It was said in such a deadpan tone that Anko's meager self-control faltered allowing her silent guffaws to escape her.

"Oh, but I did, Muhehehehehee!" Her laugh turned evil as Kurenai inched closer to the pair.

"And what exactly did Anko do to my student?" The red eyed woman fixed her friend with a withering stare, which only egged the snickering woman on more.

Naruto facepalmed "You'll see."

Meanwhile Neji was feeling rather... uncomfortable. His... cousin, was crying large tears with eyes far too bright and emotional to be natural.

"N-Neji-niiii Wahhhh!" Hinata held her hands over her eyes, little teardrops filling her palms before falling from her hand to the floor. "You're so cruel. I-I- I only wanted to help you. You... you... you BAKA!" The girl fell to her knees and let out a wave of worthlessness and self pity. "Why is it always MEheeeheee!"

The motherly instincts of every girl in the room spiked.

Naruto's jaw dropped

Gaara blinked. 'Can I snuggle her mother?' "BLOOOOO -maybe later- OOOOD!" 'Alright mother, anything for you.'

The rest of the men in the room felt an unusual need to protect the crying girl.

Neji on the other hand felt terrible, like worse than complete scum. He hesitantly approached his crying cousin, trying several times to pat her back. He tried several more times to try and say he was S-s-s..

"I'm... I'm s-sorry Hinata-sama. I...I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." And like that Hinata was hugging him.

"Ohhhh I'm so happy to hear that Onii-chan!" Everyone in the room snapped backwards like they were physically struck by the mood whiplash. Hinata stood up on her tippy toes and brushed a kiss against Neji's cheek. "Thank you soooo much~"

The elder of the two Hyuuga froze.

The movement didn't go unnoticed by the younger. "Oh?" Hinata's voice turned sultry as she felt her cousin stiffen in her arms. "Did you like that o-nii-chan. Hinata lengthened each syllable with a definite rolling purr.

Neji gulped, sweat forming on his face.

"For apologizing so nicely, I have to give you a reward." Her mouth turned upward in a small smirk, lips coming closer to his, tongue peeking out ever so slightly.

Neji's eye's bulged in their sockets and it had nothing to do with his Byakugan.

Hinata lowered the shoulders of her coat, exposing her mesh shirt and pert breasts to Neji as their lips connected.


Several of the males in the audience passed out with bloody noses.

Then she started french kissing him.


Another batch hit the floor, joining their peers in sweet, sweet unconsciousness.

Hinata broke the kiss, a trail of saliva connecting the two; neji still as a statue. Hinata let out a little perverted giggle at the state of her cousin. "Did you like that O-nii-chan? Maybe now we can move onto other things!" Neji's already bulging eyes threatened to break free of his face as Hinata ran a hand down the front of his stomach, coming dangerous close to his-


Everyone blinked. Neji was on the floor, twitching uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth.

"Oh nooo!" Hinata eye's widened in over exaggerated horror. "Onii-chan!" If anything Neji started twitching harder. "Is there a doctor in the building!"

"I'm a doctor." Kabuto leapt from the railing to tend to the ailing Hyuuga and find out how the heck Hinata just did what she did, it defied all logic. After a cursory glance Kabuto came to a conclusion. "I think he's suffering from Shell Shock."

"Oh no!" Hinata sobbed gently, projecting the same aura of hopelessness.

"HNNNG!" Neji's hand clenched his chest before finally, gratefully passing out.

"This defies all logic and reason." Kabuto mumbled under his breath.

"But you can help him can't you?" Hinata started shaking the silver haired man.

"Dammit woman, I'm a Medic-nin, not a psychiatrist!" Kabuto pulled himself from the Hyuuga girl's grasp and quickly walked away, allowing the proper medical personnel to take Neji away. Hinata stood up, bowed lightly to her audience, then skipped. Yes, bloody SKIPPED her way back up to the viewing deck.

Hayate, who had been staring blankly, shook his head, blinking a couple of times to get the sheer... duhhhh out of his brain. "Winner, Hinata Hyuuga by... whatever the *Cough* hell that was."

Naruto turned slowly, a mechanical creaking in his neck as he simply stared at Anko. "You, are an evil, evil woman."

"What...exactly was that?" Kurenai mumbled dumbly.

In response Anko unsealed a rather large... book, from within her coat. "Big book of seduction, chapter 49: innocent Big brother/dirty little sister, style III."

Naruto deadpanned. "When the hell did you find time to teach her... that?"

"When you were in Wave." She replied offhand, obviously pleased with her handiwork. "Two weeks is more than enough time for me to turn any wilting flower into a budding seductress. I also may or may not have spiked the girls perfume with a special aphrodisiac of my own concoction..."

"You are a very bad influence." The illusion mistress shook her head mutely. "The both of you... If you'll excuse me... I need a drink... make that several." A swirl of leaves signaled her departure.

"You..." Naruto breathed deep, wanting this to all be some bad dream. "I think it's time for me to start taking the training of my spouses into my own hands." Naruto glared at Anko, who had a wicked smirk on her face, even as she tried and failed to play innocent. Naruto groaned. "Kurenai is right, you are a bad influence."

Anko swatted her husband on the rear. "You know we both enable each other's bad behavior, don't try to deny it."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I suppose so. Just warn me next time you teach one of your sister wives weapons grade cuteness like that. If for nothing better than my own sanity."

"Can do." The snake mistress assured him.

"Why does that not reassure me." He sighed, rubbing his forehead in irritation.

It's at this point that I look at Neji and laugh, point and laugh and imagine the interactions between him and Hinata from now on.

I can barely contain my laughter.

And on another note, this was originally the "Real" fight. Because hey, why not? Then I stopped being an idiot and actually had them fight normally.