Disclaimer:  I do not own any of the rights associated with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  They remain the property of Mirage Publishing and Peter Laird.

After a long absence (two years) I am now back and updating my fan fiction (I have made a few changes to this chapter).  As requested a spin off to the popular story Popcorn, so to get the gist of things it would be better to read Popcorn first before attempting this one.  I know I know I haven't finished Death by Boredom, but I promise it's on my list of fics to update.  Enjoy

Beer, Park Benches And Knickers

Chapter One:

A cool evening breeze swept along the streets and chased the summer heat away, three of New York's most unique inhabitants where enjoying a short respite in the city's park.  Michaelangelo laid spread out on the fresh grass at the foot of an old park bench.  Perched on the back his, feet resting on the seat was Raphael.  Leonardo was sat in a relatively normal fashion, but relaxation was staring to show as he leaned back and flung his arms over the back of the bench.  Silently they watched a constant stream of hot and bothered New Yorker's making their way either to or from work.  Although the heat of summer was tough, they each secretly looked forward to the warmer weather for many reasons.  One being; the muggy close evenings that just begged to be wasted away on the rooftops or in the darker areas of the park.

Suddenly their attention was grabbed; by a rather nearly dressed female that crossed the park in front of them.  This was another reason to enjoy the summer, the more heat, the less clothes adorned the female populace.  Raphael gave Leo a sharp tap on the back of his head.  Irritated, Leo opened his eyes and glared at his brother "What?"

Raphael replied with a quick jerk of his thumb.  The sight was enough to make Leo sit up and take notice.  "What do you think my chances are?"  Raphael breathed, a far off look in his eyes. 

"Nil."  Michaelangelo stated before lying back down.

"Whadda you know?"  Raphael shot a nasty look.

"Hey!"  Raphael shouted to get the woman's attention.

"Great start Raph."  Michaelangelo mocked.  But it worked; the woman was now looking over at the group.  Raphael cleared his throat.  "I've never seen an angel fly so low."  The woman gave Raphael an icy glare before walking off.

"Where did you get that line?"  Michaelangelo asked turning over so he could look at his spurned brother.

"Tell me Raph, do you get many girls with that one?"  Leo added.

"Oh and I suppose you could do better?"  Raphael hissed.

"I know so."

"Well here's your chance now."  Raphael smirked as another female came into view.  "Not going to back out now are you?  I mean Mikey needs to see how to do it."


Leo narrowed his eyes at Raphael; he was not one to back out of a challenge.  Leo waited until the young lady was almost level with their bench.  "Great legs, I bet they would look stunning wrapped around my waist."  The lady stopped for a second, her face flushed a darker color and she had to hide her grin with her hand as she hurried away.  Raphael stared at Leo before folding his arms and grunting.  It was then that he noticed a group of girls approaching them from the other side of the park; they looked strangely familiar, once they were close he could see why.

"Jesse?" Raphael spluttered

"We knew it was you guys the moment we saw you!"  Claire squealed.

"So how comes you never called?" Jesse gave Raphael a fierce look

"Erm, I lost your number."  Raphael explained, punching Leo hard on the shoulder.

"That's what they all say, men you're all the same!"  Jesse turned her attention to Leonardo, who was rubbing his shoulder while trying desperately to remain innocuous. "And how's the head?"

"Fine, thanks."  Leo could feel everyone's eyes bore into him, his face started to flush a little.  There was a small pause before Claire broke the silence.

"Where's your geeky friend?"

"He's off doing er doing…." Raphael struggled, "stuff."

"Oh that is a shame" Jesse sighed, slouching on the bench, she crossed her legs and flung them across Leonardo's lap before kicking off her shoes, "We were going to ask you guys if you fancied having some fun."

"Ah, oh, fun."  Michaelangelo face brightened as he sat up slightly, but judging by his brother's expressions he had said something wrong.  "Ah no, we don't have fun it's too …….. dangerous."  He hastily added before sprawling out on the cool grass again.

Donatello glanced up at the large apartment building that dominated most of his view, everything looked so different from this angle, but he was certain this was the right place.  If his calculations were correct, which was highly probable, he should be looking for an apartment on the third floor in the west side of the building.

He stood and stared at the apartment door for what seemed like hours.  Maybe he should just leave the lacy bodice on the floor, knock and then run, but Splinter had been most specific that he should apologise to the negligee's owner.  Swallowing hard he knocked three times in quick succession, if he was fortunate no one would be home, no such luck, he could hear movement behind the door as the security chain was pulled back. His legs were screaming at him to run, but he felt strangely rooted to the spot, his chest tightened slightly.  The door swung open to reveal the quivering hulk of a man Donatello had no desire to speak to; he barely even reached the man's chest in height. 

 "Erm, is the lady of the house home?"  Donatello squeaked"

"BAR!"  The man bellowed not taking his eyes off Donatello, "There's some little weirdo here to see ya."  The man narrowed his eyes and rested against the doorframe, "You're not selling anything are you?  Cause if you are we don't want any."

"No nothing like that."  Donatello shuffled nervously on his feet; suddenly he became aware of a small lady standing at the door, she stood there looking at him expectantly.  Donatello cleared his throat and prepared to deliver the speech he had perfected earlier, some how it was a lot easier when he was reciting it to Splinter.

"I er believe I have something that belongs to you."  He paused as he removed the bodice from his coat pocket and handed it to the astounded woman, "and I would like to take this opportunity to apologise."  He glanced at the man only to notice his face growing redder with rage by the second.  "Do not worry it's been freshly laundered."  Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say considering their reactions; Donatello sped up running all his words together.  "It-has-taught-me-a-lesson-about-not-giving-in-to-peer-pressure-and-I'm-very-sorry-thank-you-goodbye."  He garbled before sprinting off down the hall, closely pursued by the thoroughly irate man.  For person of his unbelievable bulk that man could certainly move, Donatello mused as rounded the corner.