I used to think Fear was just a trick played on the mind, until the day came that Fear placed its ice-like fingertips on my soul...
It was a really nice, warm, sunny day. The kind of day where nothing can go wrong. I was on the school bus sitting next to my nerd of a brother, but he was quite that day so i was leaning to the left talking to Karen my best friend, well my only friend really. We were having an on going argument about who was hotter, Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson. Rob was obviously the hotter of the two. I looked forward and could see the road disappearing under the wheels of the bus. However I also noticed a red truck with a huge coca cola sign heading our way,.. in our lane. My eyes seemed to zoom in and look into the eyes of the driver, I saw confusion in his eyes, even as he fought the steering wheel of the truck trying to change lanes.
I felt Fear clutch my heart and i tried to scream but my throat had closed up, so all i could manage was a whimper.
And then it hit us. I felt the air being dragged from my lungs, bodies being thrown against mine and screams of agony blending together into a harsh harmony. Then..the world went black.
The next time i opened my eyes it was to a bright light and white ceiling. I slowly moved my head and winced with pain, then my eyes fell upon the snoring forms of Susan and Mark. They're my foster parents and they were snoring really loudly.
"Susan, Mark." I whispered.
They started awake and then jumped to their feet and shuffled over.
"Thank God, your awake" Susan sobbed, "You've been asleep for 2 days"
They stumble over their words and tears poured down their faces.
"Karen...Ben...are they?" I stuttered their names out, afraid of the answer I would receive.
"No Jodi, no they didn't make it." Susan managed to choke out. Mark stood there, with tear filled eyes, silently holding up his wife while she sagged, as if defeated.
From then on I lived like a zombie but I'll skip this part it's later on that's important. It was the day Susan and Mark said they were putting me back in the care home because they could't deal with the stress and sorrow of looking after me any more, not after what happened that day. So I was put back in the foster care system though I did argue against their decision of sending me back, like a broken toy. So that's how I ended up all alone with nobody to talk to, to smile to.
And it was that very week that I made the decision. The decision to end it all. So as I looped the rope and tied the knot, I was thinking about Fear. Fear started it all but Fear also gave me an escape. Then as i took my last step, the hardest step, off the desk, the world went black once more.