Bonjur! I've just written this and I think it's good enough. It's a crossover between Harry Potter and the anime, Death Note (which is awesome, by the way). Tell me what you think! Also, I am in desparate need of a beta for my stories, so the job's open! Please contact me via privet messages. Enjoy!(=

Master Of Death; What A Joke



Harry signed off another name with an angry sigh. He's been sitting there all day! His kids have just come back home to visit, two of them with their own families, and he was sitting in a stinking office with a lousy, probably already ruined, packed lunch. He was at the land of the dead; of course his lunch had to be dead to survive this hateful world.

Apparently, being Master of Death came with great responsibility. If he had known, he would have chosen to leave Voldemort be. Hell, he would have given Voldemort the three hallows. He would have liked to see him handle all of this paperwork. Since when was people dying such a big mess?

"Check, check and check." He signed his title on top of the page containing information about the dead person. These days, it seemed they were mostly Japanese criminals. Weird.

There was a knock on the door.

"What?" Harry snapped. He didn't have the patience for visitors. Not to mention that the only visitors he could have right now were disgusting, gambling death gods.

The door opened slightly, and a dirty head peeked in. "Uh, your Highness, death god Rem has sent you an update."

Harry sighed. This particular death god, Gilmorre, looked terrified at the mere thought of Harry talking to him. Harry wondered what kind of a death king ruled this awful palace before him.

"Rem? The one who created contact with the muggle girl?" He knew the death god would understand what he was talking about. After all, only a wizard or a death god could be the death king, because a muggle would have no chance of holding even one of the hallows.

"Yes, that one." The death god muttered. He handed Harry a pack of notes and left the room, practically running out and shutting the door.

Harry read the notes quickly, his temper rising with every word he read, until finally he exploded.

"A HUMAN HAS BEEN KILLING ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE?" he yelled. He was going to kill Ryuuk. No, he was going to murder Ryuuk. It was all his fault. He chose to drop a bloody death note into the human world, and he created all of this mess. He was going to strangle him.

And like that, a seething Harry Potter left his office in the undead world, or whatever, and walked back down to the human world. He was going to find Ryuuk, and when he did, Ryuuk was going to be in big trouble.

He found him in a muggle Japanese university. Something by the name Toh-Oho or something like that. Those Japanese people have some strange names.

He was in the men's bathroom with a human. This human had killed criminals and gave him a bunch of papers to sign off. He wanted to kill this muggle.

Said muggle was currently washing his hands.

Harry stomped to him, taking a hold of the neckline of his fancy suit and slamming him against the wall. The muggle looked frightened. Well, he better be! What kind of a person gives another person so much work to do? Not a good one, for sure.

Ryuuk was floating on the other side of the room. He was fiddling with his monster-like fingers, a guilty expression on his ugly death god face.

"You!" Harry bellowed in the muggle man's face. He looked confused.

"Me?" his voice was shaking. He looked at Ryuuk behind Harry's shoulder. His English was good, but the accent betrayed his Japanese origin.

"Yeah, you! Do you even know what the word 'enough' means? Have you heard of it?"


"Don't speak to me! I've been sitting for eight hours, eight, trying to find myself between all of the names and dates. Do you have any idea how much paperwork that is? Lay off for a few weeks, will you?"

The grim Ryuuk drifted to where Harry was holding the oh, so upright teen against the germ-filled wall.

"Um, my King-"

Harry turned around to face Ryuuk, hissing swearwords in the noble language of the snakes. "Don't! I'm going to destroy you when I'm finished here, traitor!"

Ryuuk flinched back. He knew Harry had the capability to kill death gods. He hasn't done it yet, but he could, and that was enough to send the death gods into a serving-the-king frenzy.

Looking back at the muggle boy, Harry noticed the surprised look on his face. He probably thought he was the only one who could see Ryuuk.

"Yeah, yeah, stop looking so shocked. Listen, I'm going to make you a deal, so be nice and listen or else I'll crush you. You stop killing so many people a week, and I'll not separate your head from your body, capiche?" the red-faced wizard asked.

"Y-yes." answered the scared human.

"Good. I'm done here. Ryuuk, come with me. I think we should talk." He told the death god, whose eyes grew big.

"Ehh, are you sure you don't want me to stay here? I think I should supervise Light-kun's actions, don't you? I mean, how would we know if-"

"Shut up!" Harry said. He took Ryuuk by his collar and exited the men's room.

Unknown to him, a certain black-haired detective was sitting on one of the toilets during the whole thing, listening and analyzing every piece of information he got from the conversation.

The percentage of Yagami Light being Kira just rose from four percent to sixty five percent.