"Mmmm…" I murmur as I lean over him, kissing his neck as he gasps, "Yamato."
He gasps again as I pull my fingers out of him. He looks up at me with pleasure filled blue eyes then smirks, and I blink as he pulls me down, "Aren't you going to do it?" He says breathlessly.
I blink. "W-Wait, why am I- I thought-mph!"
I moan as he kisses me, my mind going back to its lustful state and I pant into Yamato's mouth as he draws me close, making arousing noises. When we part, all I can see is his flushed face and beautiful naked body, all I can think of is how beautiful his blue eyes are, and how I need to make him mine.
But wait, what, why are we in this position, I thought I'd differentiated-
"Don't think," Yamato murmurs as he wraps his slender legs around my waist, "Just go with the flow."
"I want you, Taichi." He whispers by my ear. "Will you have me?"
He emphasizes by grinding up against me and I let out a sharp gasp at the sharp spark of pleasure at the brush of our erections. "Fuck!"
I'm fucking confused, why is Yamato under me, naked (not that I don't appreciate the view); why is he seducing me again- I c-can't-shit!
"That's right, fuck me," Yamato purrs silkily as he presses up against me, and I feel heat flood my cheeks. No Yagami don't you can't he must be drunk or something or maybe you're drunk- what about Sora?! Didn't you just reconcile- "Make me yours, Taichi, just like you've always wanted."
The blood rushes down to my groin and suddenly I can distinctly feel the hardness of my cock as Yamato moans and rubs himself against me, "Please Taichi," he gasps, as he pushes himself closer to me, and I gasp, clenching my fists as I feel his entrance so close to my throbbing, almost painful erection. Fuck, fuck! "I need you."
"B-But," I moan as he presses desperate kisses to my neck, "S-Sora…"
"I don't need Sora, I need you." Yamato says to my weak protest. "Taichi…"
And then he rubs himself against me again with a soft whine and I'm not really thinking when I remove his legs from my waist, shove him down onto the bed, spread his legs and bring them over my shoulders and I enter him in one swift thrust. He cries out, fisting the sheets like he did when we were integrating back at his house and I gasp at the feeling of him around my cock.
"Yamato," I pant. He's pleading me with those beautiful blue eyes and I growl, pulling out and thrusting into him. He gasps again and I groan at the pleasurable feeling as he arches up against me as I thrust into him, "T-There!" He cries out in pleasure, "T-Taichi!"
His lips are so red and I lean down to capture them as I adjust my angle and enter further into him. We gasp as I hit something which makes him scream, as I muffle the sound with my mouth.
The initial resistance is gone and I pant, quickening my thrusts as I pound him into the sheets, and he moans and screams as I hit that something in him. He's so tight but he's loosening up and fuck, it feels good, it feels really good, am I really fucking Ishida Yamato what the hell am I doing-why is my vision getting blurry?
I reach out my hand towards his dripping cock and he gasps. I smirk and tease the leaking tip and he moans, tears of pleasure in his blue eyes and crying out with his head thrown back as I ram into him, "Ah! Taichi-haah!" I reach out my hand to tweak his nipple and he whimpers, then screams as I give a particularly hard thrust, growling. Lust is clouding my senses and maybe blurring my vision but who the fuck cares- Yamato is mine, I'm making him mine, he's screaming my name, my name-
"Taichi!" His cheeks are flushed red, sweat is dampening his body, and I jerk his leaking cock and he moans helplessly, "Taichi-I'm-goin-"
"Yamato!" I groan as through the haze of pleasure, and fuck, I feel my climax building up, even though I'm thrusting so fast but somehow everything seems to be getting slower even as I hear Yamato's scream and feel him tighten around me and I moan as white flashes across my eyes-
I gasp and shoot up in bed, as the alarm clock goes off. "H-Hikari?!" I cry out hoarsely.
"Onii-chan! You're going to be late for school! What are you still doing sleeping?!" Hikari's voice sounds, "I'm coming in-"
"NO!" I yell, feeling panic build up inside of me, "No! Don't come in!"
"Just don't!" I say, "I-uh, I just woke up and my hair is in a mess and yeah it was a hot night so I slept naked! You don't want to see your big brother naked, do you?!" I blabber, "So don't' come in!"
"Ew, Onii-chan!" Hikari says, but sounds like she's smiling in amusement, "Okay then, hurry up!"
"Got it! Ah you shut up you stupid alarm clock!"
I bang my fist on the alarm clock, and it mercifully stops ringing. I stare, then sigh. I look down, then blink at the wet sheets.
Oh shit why today of all days?! I have a maths test in first period and I'm already late!
And then I remember the…dream. The dream with Yamato – Yamato naked, being inside Yamato, Yamato screaming and coming-
Gah! What the hell are you thinking, Yagami?! Maths! MATHS!
Oh shit oh shit, what to do?! I grimace as the…problem in my wet boxers sticks out at me, as if my own libido is mocking me- my situation- which it brought upon me in the first place!
Oh god I just had a wet dream about Yamato! Way to point out the obvious Yagami but WHY?! You're not supposed to be thinking of Ishida Yamato least of all dreaming of integrating with- I mean, integrating; yeah, integration! Maths!
Fuck fuck fuck! Okay calm down Yagami, don't panic and do things one step at a fucking time! No use glaring at Yagami Jr! The little (no I'm not small – it's just a figure of speech, just ask Yama-GAH!) guy won't get you to school!
God it was so fucking real- but now's not the time to think about that!
I grimace and get off the bed, going into the bathroom. My hair's a mess but there's a more important problem at hand. I'll change the sheets later-there should be an extra in the wardrobe- but now I really need a fucking cold shower yeah 'cause I can't go to school in this state and I don't have the time to jack off now-I mean I'm tempted to but-
"ONII-CHAN! HURRY UP! IT'S 8.00! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!'"
…GAH! FUCKING LIBIDO! JUST GET INTO THE SHOWER ALREADY, YAGAMI!
"Swory I'm laet!"
Minamoto-sensei looks at me in wry amusement, "So nice of you to finally join us, Yagami-kun," he says as he holds a pile of papers in his hands, "But I'm afraid the test is already over."
The rice ball falls from my mouth, "What?!" I splutter. "But sensei, I sprinted here in record time!" I jab my middle finger at the clock, "It's 8.15!"
The girls in the class giggle as Minamoto-sensei shrugs, "I did say it was a short test, did I not?"
I gape as Minamoto-sensei places the papers on his desk, then walks to the board, "Take your seat, Yagami-kun."
My body slumps to the floor in defeat, "No way!"
"I believe I didn't assign the floor as your seat, unless you would like it to be." Minamoto-sensei says, "Oh and pick up the rice ball you dropped or I'll assign you double cleaning duty."
The girls giggle again and I sigh. I pick up the rice ball and raise myself from the floor, and glare at my Maths teacher's back, muttering under my breath as I make my way to my seat, "Bastard…so smug that I missed a test. I'll show you I'll still ace Maths!" I scowl, "It's just one stupid test anyway! Che!"
Yeah- that smug bastard's my former homeroom teacher and my maths teacher. He's sarcastic towards me 'cause I ace his class when I sleep in it 'cause it's boring.
I take my seat and pop the rice ball into my mouth (hey I just cleaned the floor yesterday) and chew on its delicious taste.
I swear, he's making our tests shorter and shorter! How long was it this time, 10 minutes? I still remember, last year when Agumon was kidnapped by the Kaiser, I couldn't concentrate on the stupid test at all, I just wanted to go off already and rescue Agumon! But nooooo, I had to stay back for a stupid maths test which tested things I already knew but just couldn't concentrate on the questions at that time. But of course the old geezer had to glance at me then and I had to pretend to be doing the test! Yeah I was just waiting for those five damn minutes to end but he kept staring at me so I just picked my pencil up, did some quick mental calculation (Jyou's not the only one who can do it) and scribbled some answers in the last three minutes? Or was it two? Well it was only one page. Geez, that was a year ago!
Man, and now I've missed another test!
But yeah, that time…I was really worried about Agumon. I was so glad to have him back, and then he was taken away from me again, right in front of my eyes. He became evil with the Evil Spiral and evolved into Metalgreymon with the Virus attribute but I didn't care- I just wanted Agumon back. I guess I was desperate, and I thought he would be able to hear me. But I was just being an idiot as usual and I didn't listen to anyone, just like that time with Skullgreymon. I didn't even want anyone to attack Metalgreymon, even though it was the right thing to do.
But at least that time was better, because I still had Agumon afterwards. But the Kaiser flew away with Metalgreymon and I couldn't do anything at all. I felt so damn helpless and lost without my partner- I've never had Agumon taken away right before my eyes before. And I couldn't do anything to stop the bastard (The Kaiser, not Ken – Ken's a good guy. The Kaiser is the bad one. No one's perfect anyway, not even geniuses.).
And I was in that state, blaming myself when Yamato arrived with Miyako-chan. I don't know how he even knew about the situation, how did he know where I was going? I guess Koushiro told him, but wait I thought he had band practice on that day…did he cancel it for me?
But, I didn't even notice him then. Without Agumon, I was a coward, I lost my courage.
And then Yamato stepped to me and said my name. I turned to him, and next thing I knew he had drawn his fist back and punched me, hard enough to make me fall on my ass on the hard ground. Daisuke was angry, saying how could Yamato punch me when I was in shock. But he didn't know Yamato's punch, and the way he held his hand out to me as I stared at him as he said my name- was what I really needed at that moment in time.
I guess Hikari knew even then, 'cause she told Daisuke to wait as he confronted Yamato. But my senses had snapped back to Yamato, Yamato's presence, Yamato's beautiful and determined blue eyes, Yamato's hand- which I was staring at like an idiot at for a while.
But Yamato was patient with me. And I realized, he understood me. Maybe even better than I understood myself at that time.
When I needed someone to shake me to my feet and pull me back up (literally), Yamato was there to do it for me, even when I didn't ask him to be. He didn't sugar coat anything, he wasn't waiting to follow my instructions like Daisuke, he told me what I needed to know, knew, but didn't want to acknowledge, that we had to attack Metalgreymon if we wanted him back; he would rather be destroyed than used. Yamato opened my eyes. He reminded me what it was like to be the leader. How to stand tall in the face of an unexpected obstacle.
I felt a deep connection with him then, almost like when we were shot by Angemon's and Angewomon's arrows. And when we were on that, cart thing with a sail, I felt much more determined and resolute, able to face reality again, with Yamato by my side. Able to be the strong, courageous leader, because I had him. I looked at him, just as he looked at me, and as he smiled at me; and as my heart skipped a beat, I thought he felt it too. Haha, I still remember, Daisuke asked Veemon what was up with us. He didn't get it 'cause he's not me- how could he understand my feelings for Yamato? Yamato, who's always been there for me when I'm at my worst, when my partner was taken away, and that time when Sora was taken away by Datamon because I was cocky and careless? If Yamato hadn't come to our rescue and pulled me away in my shock and shouted at me when Etemon attacked after I lost Sora, I don't know what I would have done. I probably wouldn't be alive right now. I would have disintegrated into data by Etemon's attack. Death instead of love.
I doubt Daisuke would understand. Yamato's always been there for me. Seeing him so passionate, so resolute to get Agumon back for me with Garurumon, it touched my heart and reminded me why I loved him. But I didn't say that of course, I couldn't – he was doing it out of friendship, the symbol of his heart. It was refreshing, when he shouted at me to trust him just as I was beginning to doubt, that Agumon was going to stay that way forever. 'Cause I'm the leader, no one's really stood up to me like that before. Everyone just assumes what I say and what I do must be right when in fact it may not be right – I tried my best to do the right things but I'm not a perfect person and I did and I do make mistakes. But I trusted and believed in Yamato, just like I always have.
And now, I can't even be there for him. I must have said the wrong words that day, when he needed me to be there for him, or he would be by my side now. He wouldn't have walked away from me.
But I guess it's better this way. I don't deserve someone like him.
Yamato. I wonder what are you doing now? I hope you're smiling again. I hope Sora makes you smile. Because I can't seem to do it anymore.
"Yagami-kun, since you're so confident you can follow the lesson without your textbook, why don't you enlighten us on this problem?"
…Oh yeah, I'm in class. Which I was late for.
I sigh and get up from my seat to the board as the guys smirk and the girls giggle-again.
I shove my hands into my pockets as I walk to the board and look at the problem. Yeah, integrate Y? Sure, I can do that. I did do that, which was why I was late for school.
…Alright, away from the gutter, Yagami. Maths, remember?
Ah wait, looks like I gotta integrate with limits. This is so troublesome.
I pick up the chalk and start to solve the problem, looking to the diagram at the side. We're integrating to find the area under the curve, huh? Fine, so the curve is a quadratic equation. How troublesome. Y is a quadratic equation, so I gotta integrate separately then bracket with the limits. Y = 2x 2 + 3x – 6. So it's…2/3x3 + 3/2x2 -6x. Yeah, it should be correct. We're integrating Y with respect to x so the limits will be the x-coordinates bounding the area under the curve, 2 and 6.
"Don't you need a calculator, Yagami-kun?"
I shake my head, "No thanks." 'Cause I'm too lazy to walk back to my desk and rummage in my badly packed bag for it. And if I can't find it you'll give me that disapproving look. So I'll just use my head.
Right, time to calculate. Sub in 6 first to the integrated equation then bracket it and sub in 2 with another bracket. So, (2/3 x 63 + 3/2 x 36 – 36) – (2/3 x 8 + 3/2 x 4 – 12). So it's (2 x 72 + 3 x 17 – 36 ) – (16/3 + 6 – 12). There, simple maths. So it'll be (144 + 51 – 36) – (16/3 – 6) = 162 – 5/1/3 – 6 = 156 – 5/1/3 = 151 – 1/3….okay, I need a calculator for this one. Ugh, think Yagami…pretend 151 is 1…so it'll be…151/2/3? Geh I hate calculating fractions with whole numbers.
No wait, the whole number can't be 151 'cause I'm subtracting away – so it's 150. 150/2/3. Yeah hopefully that's right.
"The answer is 150 2/3."
"…That's correct," Minamoto-sensei says, a slight surprise in his voice. "The answer is 150 2/3 units2."
Oh yeah, I forgot the units again. I jot the units down.
"Very good, Yagami-kun," Minamoto-sensei says as I turn to look at him, and he actually doesn't sound that sarcastic, and is he smiling? I blink. "That was one of the questions for the test, so I will add that mark to your name on the marksheet." He nods. "You may take your seat."
I return his smile. If he's nice to me (though I don't know why) I guess I'll be nice to him too, "Thanks, Minamoto-sensei." I nod back to him, place the chalk back to where I took it from, then turn and go back to my seat.
There are squeals from girls as I walk back to my seat and plop down on it, and I sigh. Why are they so crazy nowadays? Must be exam stress. I yawn, covering my hand with my mouth.
"Oh my god, Taichi-kun is so cool!"
"Not only is he the ace striker in soccer, he can do maths too!"
"And he did it by mental calculation! Did you see how fast he integrated?!"
"Yeah, I couldn't do that question just now!"
"Oh I will love Maths if Taichi-kun taught it to me!"
"Taichi-kun, will you be my tutor?!"
"No Taichi-kun, be mine!"
Sweat slides down my neck, "Uh," I smile nervously as the girls look at me eagerly, "I'm afraid…I'm already tutoring someone?"
"Who is it?!"
"Yeah! Which girl is so sneaky?!"
"It's not a girl. It's…just a friend." I say. I turn to Minamoto-sensei- but he's watching the scene with wry amusement. I twitch.
"…No one!" I say quickly, backing further away from their eager eyes, "I mean, I-"
"Taichi-kun!" A familiar feminine voice says brightly, "It's Ishida Yamato, isn't it?!"
I blush. I can't help it – my stupid libido just reminded me of that one time I'd almost integrated-and how I'd integrated with him this morning- "Gah!" I shake my head furiously, and pull myself away from that gutter of dirty things, "No no that's not it! I didn't say anything about Yamato!"
"It's all over your face, Taichi-kun." Hitomi-chan says from beside Suzuki-chan, looking at me in amusement, "Your face is really red."
I stare, then groan and bury my face in my hands. I want to tell them that was in the past, but then they'll pester me to be their tutor! I mean I doubt they really want to learn anything anyway – they'll just stare at me and think it's a study date! I really fail at lying…!
"Fine, fine! It's Yamato!" He won't know anyway, right?!
"Kyaaaaaa! So cute! Taichi-kun is teaching Yamato-kun Maths!" Suzuki-chan exclaims and I don't need to look at her to know her eyes are shining.
"Interesting." Hitomi-chan says and sounds like she's smiling. "Maybe they really do have study dates."
"Yamato-kun is bad at Maths?! I can teach him!"
"You can't! Taichi-kun is already his tutor!"
"Taichi-kun and Yamato-kun are so cute together!"
"Taichi-kun is so adorable when he blushes!"
"Oi, Taichi!" I look up to where Akira is smirking at me, "Your face is reaallly red!"
"And that's saying a lot with your tan skin." Shunsuke adds cheerily.
I glare at them, wishing Saitou was in my class so I would at least have someone by my side! "Shut up!"
"Oi oi, Yagami has become really smart lately, huh?"
"Exactly! And he's getting all the girls' attention! It's so bloody unfair!"
"Well he is- but it seems like they are happy that him and Ishida Yamato are together?"
"What?! You mean Yagami's gay?!"
"I always knew there was something with his family name!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, when you spell it backwards in English…"
"He doesn't seem like it – but hey that just means he's out of bounds for the girls!"
"Haha, and yeah that means that leaves the girls to us!"
"Yeah and if Ishida Yamato is gay too the girls will just have to give up on him as well! And that'll be practically all the girls in the entire school!"
"But doesn't Ishida Yamato have a girlfriend?"
I moan in exasperation, "I am not with Yamato!" I say loudly, "He's just a friend!"
"Ah ah," Akira wags his finger at me, "Your expression doesn't say so. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Taichi!"
"What the hell does that mean?!" I glare at him, "And weren't you guys teasing me 'bout Sora?!"
Akira blinks at me, "You mean you're two-timing?!" He gasps, "Hey that's not noble, Yagami! Just take Ishida already and leave the girls to us!"
I gawk. How did he come to that conclusion?!
"Yeah he may be pretty but we're not into guys! Anyway isn't it a good deal? You get a pretty boy and we get the pretty girls!" Shunsuke grins widely as if he'd just discovered the truth of the universe. "It's brilliant!"
Akira nods, and grins along with his best friend, "So hurry up and ask him out already!"
…I still wonder why these two idiots are in my class this Year.
I glare at Akira and wish I had something to throw at him. But 'cause I'm lazy and didn't take anything out and I already finished my rice ball (it would be wasted on him anyway), I don't. Damn, should have brought the chalk back! Yeah it'd make a nice mark on his forehead! And then we'll see how much the girls like him!
"Yeah yeah- come to think of it, I think he broke up with that Sora girl who's your childhood friend! I mean I saw her alone the other day-"
"Ah yeah, Sora-chan looked sad that day, didn't she?"
"Yeah! So there's your chance, Yagami! Hurry and claim Ishida Yamato and leave the girls to us! I'm sure he looovees you too!"
"Hey hey, even the guys are talking about them!"
"Yeah! Maybe Taichi-kun really likes Yamato-kun?"
"Kyaaaaa! I knew it!"
I groan and bang my head and red face on the table at their warped logic – what the fucking hell are they saying how can I ask Yamato out- and what break up- Sora's just alone and sad 'cause Yamato's troubled in his friendship with me- as Minamoto-sensei booms, "Alright, enough teenage talk!" He says, but there's no mistaking the amusement in his voice, "Let us get back to Maths! I'm sure you can discuss the issue of Yagami-kun's sexuality at a later time."
There's further giggling and I raise my head to glare at him. Bastard! You don't have to add fuel to the fire!
And I swear he smirked at me before turning away, as if saying, "That's what you get for sleeping in my class."
Yeah, what nice? He's still a bastard!
I growl and reach down to pull out my maths textbook roughly and drop it onto the table, flipping the pages roughly to the topic we stopped at.
Che! I guess this is the one time I can't sleep in the old geezer's class.
Two members from the other team are intercepting me when I whirl and kick the ball to Akira, who grins. He weaves in between the other team's defenders, and then kicks the ball, "Captain!"
Saitou gets the ball and heads straight for the goal – he moves so fast that the other team's goalkeeper is caught off guard and his hands barely graze the ball when it shoots past him into the net.
"Goal to Team TASS!"
"Awesome kick, Captain!"
"Yeah!" I agree as we run to Saitou during the time break. "But Team TASS? Who picked such a dumb name anyway?!"
It's mass PE, thank god for this – holy subject (recently integrated into the timetable; the mass part, I mean) or we would all have died of brain cells exploding from being stuck in the classroom for so long! Che, the nerds who complain that PE is a waste of time can kiss my ass!
"Me!" Akira declares with no shame at all (yeah that guy has no shame in anything, whether it's girls, sex, failing subjects or picking stupid names for our PE team). He wipes away the sweat sliding down his face with the back of his hand, "And it's a great name! Would you rather it be, SATS? Or ASST?"
"Good thing I'm here or it would really become ASS." I smirk, brushing back my wild hair, "That's what you get for naming our team with initials."
Saitou, Shunsuke and I laugh and Akira scowls, then pouts, "It's not my fault my name begins with an A!" He then grins and says proudly, "Anyway, A is the 1st letter so it's the best!"
"If asses are the best."
"Ah, shut up!"
I smile. We're playing soccer in mass PE in the sports hall, nothing serious though, we don't even have a real referee. Some people are studying (crazy people) or just sitting on the sidelines (the teacher's absent) so it's just me, Akira, Shunsuke and Saitou against the other team, which has more people than we do 'cause they said it's unfair for all the soccer players to be in one team.
"Bet you wouldn't say that if it was Ishida Yamato's ass!" Akira smirks.
I choke on my own breath, spluttering and glaring, "Akira-!"
Not that you would know but yeah Yamato has the best ass, it's so perfect and so tight-
…STOP RIGHT THERE, YAGAMI!
AH stupid libido! Gah NO! Down boy, down! I better stop thinking right now 'cause I can't get aroused here –what would they say I'd die of embarrassment especially after what Akira said- and anyway I won't be able to play soccer with an erection! Or even run, for that matter! So stop thinking of integrating with Ishida Yamato's ass, Yagami!
A wave of female screams sounds and cut through my thoughts – the frequency so high that we wince and turn our heads. "What the hell?" Akira voices for us.
My eyes widen, as Saitou says, "It's Ishida Yamato."
It's Yamato, Yamato with a basketball. He's in his uniform, but without his blazer. Even from this distance, I can see his beautiful blue eyes- focused and hard, as he weaves and spins his body as if to some rhythm only he can hear. He dodges and dances as he dribbles the basketball back and forth, left and right, away from his opponents, as he heads for the net.
Akira's jaw drops, "Ishida Yamato can play basketball?" He says, "Hey Taichi, did you know your boyfriend can play basketball?"
Saitou gives me a questioning look at that, but I'm not really looking at him or listening to Akira. I'm looking at Yamato and my breath is caught in my throat as he swerves to the side to avoid a member of the other team. I watch his blue eyes narrow, and then he jumps into the air, up high.
Akira and Shunsuke gasp, and even Saitou lets out a small surprised sound, "Amazing."
The ball slams down into the net and Yamato lands on the floor, panting. He brushes sweat away from his pale forehead in the silence that follows.
And then there's far from a silence as the basketball plops onto the ground and there's screaming and clapping and cheering as Yamato turns and walks, his hand clutching the front of his shirt.
"OH MY GOD YAMATO-KUN, THAT WAS SO COOL!"
"Slamdunk! Yamato-kun is so cool!"
"Kyaaaaa! He's so amazing!"
"Hey, did you see that?! Ishida did a slamdunk!"
"I didn't know he could play basketball!"
"Hey, you guys! We must have him on the team!"
"But he's already in a band!"
"And it's not as if he's an actual basketball player!"
"Well Coach can train him!"
I shake off my surprise and walk forward, as Yamato turns to a guy on the way back, "Are you satisfied?" He says coldly, and I see the guy stare in shock as Yamato looks at him with piercing blue eyes, "I played, just like you wanted. So stop bothering me."
And then he walks away like the cool guy he is, as girls squeal and scream and shout. I look at him, look at his pale face as he pants, look at the pause between his shaky steps as he stumbles-
I don't know how I got there in time – one moment I was standing metres away from him and the next my body was moving and I was running then sliding and reaching out my arms desperately and I catch him as he falls, and the back of my head bangs on the floor. "Ow!"
There are shouts and yells of surprise, but all I hear is Yamato's voice as he stares down at me with surprised blue eyes. "T…Taichi?"
"Hey, long time no see," I grin painfully up at him, "Nice slamdunk. Takeru taught you how to play basketball?"
He looks down at me with hazy blue eyes. My heart is beating fast and I swallow as he smiles like an angel and closes his eyes, and he leans towards me- and for a moment I think he's going to do something crazy like kiss me, but then he's falling, and his golden hair brushes against my cheek – and then there's a soft thud as his head hits the floor.
I stare – thinking how Yamato is graceful even when fainting – fuck!
"Yamato! Hey, Yamato? Yamato!"
There's no reply. I sit up, my hands on his shoulders and pushing him away from me with little effort- he's really light. "Yamato! Hey!" I shout at him with wide eyes, shaking him, "This isn't a joke, is it? It's not funny!"
Yamato's head lolls to the side as I shake him and dread strikes my heart as the realization that he's really unconscious hits me.
Oh god…what do I…no, calm down Yagami!
There's panic in the sports hall, judging from the screams and cries and shouts as my hands fall from Yamato's shoulders, and his body falls onto mine.
"What happened to Yamato-kun?!"
"Is he alright?!"
"Did he overexert himself?!"
"Oh my god, Yamato-kun!"
"But, did you see how Taichi-kun rushed to save him?"
"Now's not the time for this, Suzuki-chan! We should do something!"
"B-But our teacher is absent! And Taichi-kun looks like he won't let anyone near Yamato-kun! I don't think he'd appreciate our help!"
"…True. But we can't just do nothing!"
"H-Hey," I start as a guy says, "Is Ishida alright?"
I turn my head, to see the guy that Yamato had brushed past, "What do you think?" I say lowly, "It's your fault for forcing him to play! Why couldn't you have just left him alone?!" I bellow. My fist clenches, and I'm tempted to punch him and I would have, if I didn't dare to let go of Yamato's warm body.
"I…I didn't know he was sick!" The guy defends as I raise my hand to Yamato's forehead, my eyes widening, "I thought he was being stuck up 'cause he's a rockstar and didn't want to play with us normal guys-" he flinches when I turn my glare on him, "I-I'm sorry!"
"Tell that to him when he wakes up." I spit at him. "Now go away, if I see your face any longer I might just be tempted to rip you a new one," I growl as he backs away, "Do you get it?!"
I sigh, trying to control my anger as the guy flees. I know it's not entirely his fault that he was being a jerk at the worst moment (hell, just look at me), but I need someone to take out my anger on and I can't do it on myself.
I look up, to see Akira, Shunsuke and Saitou- and Aoi, "What happened?!" Akira demands as if he expects me to know the answer. "Ishida-"
"He has a fever." I cut him off, turning to look at Yamato's pale face, "Bastard forced him to play while he's sick…even though he didn't know."
"What should we do?" Shunsuke asks in worry.
"Our teacher isn't here," Saitou speaks promptly, "We should take him to the sick bay."
"How high is the fever?" Aoi asks in concern.
"I don't know, but he feels pretty warm…"
I bite my lip, gather Yamato close to me and hold him in my arms as I stand up, my mind working fast, "Aoi, I need you to do me a favor. Do you know who's Takenouchi Sora?"
"Takenouchi Sora? Of the tennis club?" Aoi nods quickly, "I know her."
"Good. Go to the," I wrack my brain, today is Wednesday so Sora…"Canteen, you should find her there. Tell her about the situation and bring her to the sick bay."
"Alright." Aoi says. She turns, and sprints out of the sports hall.
"You're taking him to the sick bay?" Shunsuke clarifies. "Should we go with you?"
I shake my head, "We shouldn't have too many people there, he needs to rest," I look down at Yamato, who's so light in my arms, and grit my teeth, "Thanks, but no thanks."
Shunsuke nods in understanding, and Saitou says, "Right, you better hurry," he tells me seriously. He smiles. "Don't worry about lessons. We'll tell the teachers what happened."
"We'll take your bag too," Shunsuke assures, "And I think Mura's in Ishida's class, so we can tell him to help him."
I nod, smiling, "Thanks guys." I then turn, and walk the swiftest I can, not wanting to jolt Yamato from his rest with my crazy running.
"Hey, Taichi!" Akira shouts over, "About the soccer game-"
"Screw the soccer game!" I yell over my shoulder, glowering. How can he think of soccer at a time like this?! "Yamato's much more important!"
"…I was just going to say we're postponing it." Akira voices.
I stare, then sigh. "Whatever!"
Control Yagami, control. Don't get yourself out of sorts again, they don't understand your feelings, they don't think of Yamato like you do.
…Screw walking! It's gonna take forever at this rate! He should be fine.
"Hey hey Taichi-kun is carrying Yamato-kun in his arms and he's running and he looks really worried! Do you think-"
I scowl. I can't believe-
"Suzuki! For the last time, stop it! Now's not the time for this! Yamato-kun is really sick! He fainted! And all you can think about is if they're together and if Taichi-kun is the seme?! They're friends first, aren't they?!"
"…You're right. Sorry, Hitomi-chan! I didn't mean to…it was just a habit…I hope Yamato-kun will be okay..."
I bite my lip, then turn my gaze down to Yamato's pale face as I sprint along the hallway.
Please be alright…Yamato!
Human beings are not like numbers. They change. Numbers only change when they're associated with other numbers in addition, subtraction, division or multiplication.
Almost like evolution.
I sigh, as I stare at Yamato's prone form in the bed.
What the hell am I thinking?
But just dashing forward is sometimes a good thing too.
The good news is, Yamato's fever turned out to not be so high after all, somewhere in the high digits of the 37 range – flickering to 38 - but the bad news is, he's still unconscious and his face is paler than usual and the school nurse says he probably hasn't been eating properly for some time.
And it makes me feel like a downright moron for not noticing – for thinking he's going to be just fine after our last encounter. It's not like he needs me there with him 24/7, but I didn't even talk to him after we defeated Diablomon, and fuck, that was months ago, wasn't it?! I know he has Sora- but, I didn't leave him in a good state and Yagami you fucking idiot, it would have helped a damn lot if you'd patched things up properly with him!
And what makes me feel ashamed of myself is that not only did I not notice his well being, I still had a wet dream about him. It's not as if I can control it- but I did have it and it made me late for school but it was pleasurable but while Yamato is not feeling well and overexerting himself, not only do I not notice, all I can think of is integrating with him and making him mine!
Fuck. I'm such a complete bastard.
I groan and slap a hand to my forehead. What the hell have you been doing, Yagami? Even if he isn't your best friend- even if you're not worthy enough to be his best friend; how can you just leave him alone? Wasn't that what he shouted at you for? Aren't you supposed to be his friend? Since when do friends avoid each other for months?! No wonder he has Sora and not you! You're really useless!
Yeah Hitomi-chan is right- Yamato and I are friends first, aren't we?! Just what the hell have I been doing? Avoiding the problem, that's what!
…I really am a coward, aren't I?
I mean, Ishida Yamato fainting? Ridiculous. Well now it has happened and it's 'cause of me (as usual). Yamato's nowhere near weak, he survived the Digital World and going hungry and lacking sleep – but now we're back in the real world and we're in our last year of middle school and there's exams and there's his band and there're enemies in the form of stress and homework and tests and exams and maybe PE lessons for him – and considering our last encounter, and his emotional state and his past – even someone cool and calm and collected like him; I should have known it would have taken its toll on him! All the crap I've dealt him – all the stupid words – and then all the time I left him alone – days, weeks, months, half a fucking year. Oh god, I really hate myself right now! And the worst thing is, he did tell me I was leaving him alone! And what did I do? Yell at him that I wasn't and hold him in my arms and try my best to comfort him but leave him in the end – just like he'd feared.
And what do I say when I finally see him and he sees me and whispers my name? "Hey, long time no see." Yeah. Real smart, Yagami. Real smooth. You're a genius, really. Yeah I should just bang my head against this wall here, hopefully that'll shake my brain cells back into place and give me some, you know, logic and knowledge about other people's feelings and emotions.
…OW! Alright I won't bang my head against the wall in case I get a concussion – then when Sora comes she'll have to look after both of us. Or when Yamato wakes up he'll have to look after me when he's the one sick. Wouldn't that be an irony.
I moan and clutch my throbbing head. Great, now my head hurts. Ugh. Why am I such an idiot?
I remove my hands, then glare at them, "Yagami Taichi, you really are a big idiot!" I yell.
"Glad you know, Yagami Taichi."
I start, then whirl, "Yamato!"
Yamato looks at me from where he lays on the bed. I move away from the wall and to his side, placing my hand on his forehead, "Are you alright? You have a fever but it's not too high-"
He slaps my hand away and I still, "Y-Yamato?"
"Six months," he says with cold blue eyes, "Six months. And you think you can just waltz into my life again and pretend you never left me?" He inhales, then gives me a piercing stare as if he can see into my soul, "Who the hell do you think you are, Yagami?"
Waltz? I can't dance to save my life- what the hell am I thinking! It's just a figure of speech!
…But yeah, Yamato's right. What am I doing? Who the hell am I to make sure he's alright when all this time, I haven't been noticing whether he's alright or not? All this time, I've only thought of myself. All this time, I thought he would be better off without me- but in fact, I was just scared, I didn't want to know what our relationship would become now that he knows I have feelings for him. He may not know I love him, but I'm sure he knows that at least.
"I…" I clench my fist, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't solve it-"
"But Yamato, I was thinking of you!" I burst out, and he looks at me in surprise. I bite my lip, "These six months, I've been thinking of you all the time." I'm always thinking of you, Yamato. Just like when I was sucked back into the real world, and though I didn't want to go back to the Digital World, I felt inexplicably lonely, like there was a hole inside my heart. There's no difference between then and now. "I didn't mean to leave you for so long – I just thought, you would be better off without me-"
"Do I seem better off?"
Those blue eyes are cold, so cold, just like back when I first knew him in the Digital World. But this time, it's different. This time there's not only coldness, but hurt. Betrayal. Pain.
I hurt him.
I hurt Yamato.
"…No." I say, but lock his icy gaze with mine and plow on forward, "But…since that day….all I've done is hurt you! I know I'm an idiot and I say stupid things and I make you cry and I'm the only one who makes you cry but you have Sora and I just thought…you didn't want me as your best friend anymore."
"That's all you can say?!" Yamato yells and I wince, "What? Have you been my best friend for a year? Two years?!" He grits his teeth, "How long has it been since the Digital World? We're fifteen this year, aren't we? We were eleven then. Four years, Taichi," he says lowly. "You've been my best friend for four years. And you think one day you can just leave me like that…even when I told you I didn't want you to leave?!" He breathes. "Sora? I've known you longer and better than I've known Sora!"
He couldn't have said it any other way to pain my heart, because he's just putting my thoughts into words – my self deprecating thoughts. I bite my lip until I taste blood. "I'm sorry." I say softly. "I really am sorry, Yamato. I know I did something really stupid, and I-" I clench my teeth, and lower my head, "I'm sorry."
He looks at me and I raise my gaze, as the door bangs open, "Yamato! Taichi!"
"Sora," I say. I inhale, then stand straight up and turn, plastering a smile onto my face. "Sora. Good timing. Glad you could make it."
"Taichi-" Sora starts as I move past her, and grabs my arm, "Taichi? Where are you going?!"
I turn to look at her, at her confused and worried orange eyes. There's sweat sliding down her face, and her voice is slightly breathless and I figure she must have run here.
"Yamato's sick," I say to her. "He has a fever, and since I've…" I inhale, "Left him for so long, I really don't think he wants to see me right now. So, I'm leaving, before I cause any more trouble."
"What are you saying?!" Sora shouts at me and I blink. She glares at me, "Are you even listening to yourself, Taichi?! You've left him and now you're leaving him again?!"
"…It's best if I leave," I say honestly as I meet her disbelieving orange eyes. I smile. "Really. I don't think he wants to deal with my presence right now. And, he has you now." I nod, then take my arm away from her grip, "Take care of him for me, Sora. Sorry."
Sorry, Sora. I know we're best friends again and you want your best friend and your boyfriend to be best friends again. But I can't do that now.
And then I turn and step out of the room, before I can change my mind.
I'm walking down the hallway, immersed deep in thoughts with my hands deep in my pockets.
Now that Yamato isn't in any real danger and now that Sora has arrived to take care of him, I guess I should get back to class.
The voice is faraway and distant but it makes me blink. Ya…mato?
I turn, my eyes widening in surprise. "Yamato."
He's running towards me and without thinking, I run towards him until I reach him, and resist the urge to place my hands on his shoulders, "What are you doing?! Why are you out here?! You should be resting-"
And then I'm not speaking anymore 'cause my words are cut off as my head is whipped to the side. I stare, then slowly reach up to place my hand on my stinging cheek as I turn my gaze to meet his furious blue eyes.
Yamato…slapped me? What did I say wrong now?
"YOU IDIOT!" I stare, "Weren't you listening to what I was saying at all?!"
"I...was…" I say slowly, my senses still trying to get over the fact that Ishida Yamato slapped me. He didn't punch me, but he slapped me. Somehow…that hurts even more. It's more…emotionally painful. Yamato's punched me many times, but he's never slapped me before.
But I guess he's in no state to punch me now.
"Why…?" I say slowly, trying to piece my words carefully together, "Sora's there with you-"
"When will you get it through your thick head?!" Yamato screams at me, panting and his blue eyes flashing at me as I stare, "I don't need Sora, I need you!"
Silence, as he stares at me, and I stare at him, and kick my libido into the depths of my fucked up mind for even thinking of reminding me of that fucking dream when Yamato just told me something important-I think.
He…needs me? Yamato needs me?
He still needs me?
He doesn't need Sora, he needs me?
Why would Yamato need me?
"…Six months. I haven't seen you for six fucking months." I look at him, and he inhales.
"I'm sorry I shouted at you." Yamato says lowly. He blinks, twice. "Just…please, don't leave me again. Not when I finally…see you."
"And…" he shakes his head, "Nevermind…I'll let Sora tell you." He murmurs.
"I'm sorry, Taichi," he blinks again, looking away, "I'm sorry if I haven't been clear. But I do need you. I do need you back by my side," he bites his lip, "I don't care what you think – I know you're always caring about others and putting others' before yourself so I'm telling you now," he raises his beautiful blue gaze to meet mine, "No matter what happens between us, I'll always want you by my side."
"Yamato…" I murmur.
"So…don't leave me," he whispers, placing a hand on my stinging cheek. His touch is soothing, and as he brushes his thumb gently against my cheek, I forget about the pain as I stare into his deep, truthful blue eyes, "Be my best friend again. Be by my side again."
"Come back to me…Taichi." He inhales, his gaze never leaving mine.
"…Alright." I exhale. "Alright, if that's what you want."
He looks at me with narrowed blue eyes. "Is that what you want?"
I blink, but then smile at him, placing my hand over his hand on my cheek. "Yeah." I say. "It's what I've wanted all along."
Yamato blinks, and then smiles his beautiful smile at me and my heart skips a beat in the way it hasn't for so damn long and the next thing I know he's drawing his hand away and reaching out to hug me and I blink in surprise. "Y-Yamato?" I stutter.
"I've really missed you," he says softly by my ear, "Life just isn't the same without you, Taichi." I turn my gaze to him, and he closes his eyes, "Thank you for coming back to me."
Thank you for coming back to me, Yamato. Thank you for still wanting me by your side.
"Thank you for wanting me back," I murmur as I hold him close, smiling, tears of gladness in my eyes. "Even when I've been such a huge idiot. Thank you for coming back to me, Yamato," I can finally say what I've wanted to say, and I sigh as I close my eyes, holding the one I haven't seen for so long, holding the one I love close to my beating heart. "I didn't believe you would want to."
You have no idea how much that means to me, Yamato. Because you have no idea of my love for you.
But that's alright. As long as I can stay by your side, like this. Even if it's just as your best friend.
"But you've always believed in me," Yamato pulls away a little and meets my eyes. He smiles wryly at my surprised expression, "Remember? Even in the Digital World, when I left the group, you believed I would come back," he smiles softly at me and my heart pounds in my chest, "When I came back and you and Wargreymon were injured by Piemon, you didn't shout at me for leaving you, for leaving the group. You just said…"
"You're finally here. I really waited all this time for you to come." I smile as I recall the words I said to Yamato in the Digital World, four years ago. "I absolutely believed you would come. I absolutely believed you would."
"Thank you for believing in me," Yamato whispers as he meets my eyes with that beautiful smile, almost like we're in the Digital world years ago- "I'm sorry I'm so late. I was-"
"Angry, I know," I say gently to him. He blinks and I smile wryly, "And you had a right to be. But Yamato, no matter when, I'll always believe in you."
I laugh. I don't' know why, but I do. I laugh, and he stares at me. "Eh?"
"Sorry," I grin apologetically at him, "It's just, I realized, even after being apart for so long, nothing's changed! Our relationship's still the same, just like we've always been." I laugh again, grinning wider as he blinks at me, "Sorry Yamato, I don't really know what I'm saying, but that's what I feel!"
Yamato blinks, then grins at me, "Yeah," he says, his arms around me, "Yeah, Taichi!"
"We've always been together. Nothing's separated us. Even when I left back then…I came back," he breathes, "Because I wanted to be back by your side. And I still do. That's right. I'll…" he looks at me with sincere blue eyes, but his voice is fierce, "Never let anything separate us again. No matter what happens." His arms tighten around me. "I won't leave you again. Or if I do, I'll come back. I'll…always come back."
I smile, and he blinks as I inadvertently brush his hair away from his eyes. "I know." I say. "It's my fault for leaving first anyway. Sorry. Don't blame yourself, Yamato."
"I should be saying that to you." He says wryly and I grin. He smiles at me and I try to not let my heart skip a beat – but it does anyway. As usual.
But I have him. It's reality and not fantasy, not the Digital World, but I still have him. He still…came back to me. When I was the one who left him. Yamato still came back.
I'm…glad. Even if I don't deserve it, deserve him.
"T-Taichi?!" I blink as Yamato reaches his hand up to my face, his blue eyes wide, "What!? Why are you crying?!"
"Ah…" I reach a hand up to my face as he takes his hand away. I smile at him, wiping away a tear from my eye. "It's nothing. These are happy tears!"
"Happy tears, huh?"
"Yeah happy tears," I return Yamato's grin, "Sounds familiar?"
"Indeed." Yamato says, mirth in his voice and I grin. "It's the first time I've seen Yagami Taichi cry happy tears."
"Yeah, we're even then!"
Yamato doubles over and laughs his musical laugh which I haven't heard for too damn long. Then he smiles, and leans up to kiss me.
It's over far too soon, and I stare stupidly at him when he withdraws. He stares back, then flushes.
"Y-Ya-" Did he just…k-kiss-
He coughs, "Sorry," he says, not quite meeting my gaze, "I don't know why I did that. It was just a spur of the moment thing-" he blushes, and speaks quickly, "A-Anyway it's not as if it's the first time we've kissed- and it's not like we're boyfriends or anything we're just best friends so-" his face turns even more red, "Y-Yeah…"
I blink, then find myself grinning. I don't know why Yamato kissed me I mean it's not like he loves me, but it's a nice opportunity to tease the cool Ishida Yamato with his perfect, immaculate golden hair and blue eyes that can take your breath away and who the girls are all crazy over and blush when he's near- and now he's the one blushing. Nice to know I'm not the one flustered for once!
"Re-ally?" I smile at him as I lean in close, and drop my voice into a husky whisper, "Yamato?"
His blue eyes widen and his cheeks are red and I grin. Revenge is sweet! Ha! That'll teach you a lesson for all the times you teased me (whether intentionally or not), Yamato! How does it feel to be on the receiving end, huuuuuh?
"T-Taichi…" he says breathlessly. I smile at him (Ha! I made Ishida Yamato breathless! You got that? Ishida Yamato! Score for Yagami!) and he clears his throat, "Of course! What are you saying, you idiot?" He mutters, looking away and blushing.
He's too ADORABLE! So cute!
But I gotta keep my, cool guy act and- what was that? 'Seme voice' (Is this it? Doesn't sound that different). No it wouldn't do to grin like the idiot I am and exclaim he's adorable like one of his fangirls (he'd kill me or injure me and then drag me to the sickbay and then Sora really will have to look after us both) –no no no, play it cool, Yagami!
"Yamato," I grip his chin and try hard not to grin at him as he stares at me. Smile, Yagami, smile! No grinning like an idiot! "No need to be embarrassed. I understand it's your way of showing your affection," I say, well, understandingly as I near him, smiling and meeting his surprised eyes. "So don't blush. It won't be good if your fever goes up."
Charming, sexy smile, check! Smooth words, check! 'Seme voice' check! Touching his (smooth) face gently, check! Ha! What's your move now, Yamato?!
"Y-You're too close!" He exclaims, and pushes my hand away, glaring, "And stop acting! It was just- a kiss!"
Oh no Yamato, it wasn't just a kiss! This is for all the times you teased and taunted and made me flustered and embarrassed and just recently, late for school (even if it's not directly your fault) which lead to even more embarrassment! I don't know why but you just gave me the perfect opportunity to finally get my revenge!
"Aw, don't be shy, Yamato." I can't help but grin a little as I reach my hands forward to his shirt and he stares at me incredulously. I smile (charmingly) at him. "Here. You must be hot. Let me unbutton a few buttons so you can cool down."
And I slowly but surely unbutton his shirt, conveniently brushing aside the fact that it's raining outside. The collar button first (why does he button the collar?! I mean it's not enough to button his blazer, he must button every button on his shirt too?! No wonder his body is so warm!), then the next button after the collar button. I grin as I see he's frozen and blushing (nice combination, isn't it?) when I undo the third button to reveal his slender neck, and the move to the fourth-which will reveal his chest-he's blushing and staring and opening his mouth and YES! This match is mine-
I spring away from Yamato and wave my hands frantically, looking at Sora who's just arrived at the scene and looking at us with wide eyes. "S-Sora! This isn't what it looks like! I was just helping him to cool down!" I blabber. "I mean, it's not like I was molesting him! I wasn't touching anything!"
Sora stares. "Ah." She says.
Yamato looks at me, then smirks, as if saying, "Heh. Who's the winner in the end, Yagami?"
…DAMN! I was so close!
I stare at Yamato, and he blinks at me, and then I swear, schools his expression into an innocent look (how does he do that?!). His face is still red and he looks away, blushing, "-S-Sora," he says in this surprised but bashful tone, as he clutches his hand to his unbuttoned, rumpled (from running!) white shirt, "I-I'm sorry, but Taichi was-"
"I didn't DO ANYTHING!" I yell, glaring at Yamato who blinks, then smirks at me. I turn to Sora, "Sora! He's lying! Believe me!" I say desperately.
Sora looks at Yamato, and cracks an amused, wry smile. I blink as he winks at her, then she turns back to me and places a hand on her hip, frowning, "Oh? Why would Yamato lie, Taichi?"
"Yeah Taichi," Yamato says smoothly, "Why would I lie?" He removes his hand from his shirt, exposing his neck and the upper part of his chest, "After all, the proof is right here."
I gape as Yamato smiles, then moves towards me like a dancer and curls his arms around my neck, leaning close to me and breathing by my ear, "Got you, Yagami," he breathes and my heart races in my chest, "Thought you could beat me, huh?"
Now I'm the one staring and he leans back and smiles that angelic smile at me and I gulp. Hey hey is it alright to do this in front of Sora?!
But Yamato just continues smiling like an angel with golden hair and in an unbuttoned (Gah! What was I thinking?!) white shirt as he purrs, smooth hand trailing up to my red face, "Taichi…" he smirks, "You're blushing. It wouldn't do for both of us to be incapacitated, you know."
"Why are you so embarrassed?" Yamato echoes my words and I manage a glare at him as he tilts his head and gives me the Ishida Yamato rockstar smile, and oh god I think I'm melting as he cups my cheek, "We did this just now, didn't we?" He says softly, still smiling that smile and I think my legs are trembling as he moves even closer, "And we did do this and that, if you remember..."
"Would you," he's still purring and my legs are definitely shaking now and I'm trying to stop the blood from rushing down to my groin and he's still smiling and Kami-sama my brain is going haywire, and I'm blushing and oh no not again! "Like another kiss, Taichi?" G-Gah?! "Or perhaps," his lips touch my ear, as his knee brushes against my groin, "Something else?"
"Y-Yamato…hya!" I give a not very manly squeak – but try speaking when Ishida Yamato is practically seducing you!
"Since you were so convinced that I don't need you," I stare but Yamato has moved back a bit and is smiling at me, his blue eyes glinting, "Why don't I convince you," he licks his lips (shit!), "That I want you and," his forehead is almost touching mine as I stare into his deep, beautiful blue eyes. "Need you?"
And then he's smirking and drawing away and laughing and the blood is rushing up to my face and down to my groin and I'm falling down 'cause my legs can't support me any longer – Ow!
"Please Taichi, I need you."
I bang my fists on my head (Ow ow ow!)and curl up as much as I can, "No! Not here, not now!" I exclaim in panic as I shake my head furiously, "Shut up, you! Stop reminding me!" I can't get aroused here, not in front of Yamato and Sora! What would they think?!
Think innocent thoughts! Think unsexy- non Yamato related thoughts! Yeah! Agumon! I wonder how is he! And Hikari too! And studies, and Sora- I wonder if Yamato does this to her like he does to me and what's- GAH! No! No Yamato! Koushiro! Jyou! Daisuke! Mimi! Ken! Anyone but sexy (No don't go there!) Yamato!
"…Taichi?" Sora voices, "Are you okay?"
"I think I cracked him." Yamato says in amusement. "I must have pushed him too far."
I whimper as I look at him- the look in his eyes for even daring to challenge him is fucking scary and especially since his shirt is rumpled and unbuttoned, revealing his pale skin (like a vampire!) as he advances towards me and I back away, "Sora!"
I get up and flee (no I won't deny it 'cause Yamato's scary right now!) to behind Sora, clutching onto her shoulders and saying desperately, "Save me, Sora!" I whine, "Your boyfriend's evil!" I shiver, "You're the only one on my side right now!" Because Yamato and my libido are definitely not!
"T-Taichi…" Sora says in surprise.
I'm cowering behind her when she sighs and crosses her arms, "Yamato, that's enough!" She says sternly, "Stop scaring Taichi!"
Yeah! You heard your girlfriend, Yamato? Stop scaring me! And stop torturing me too!
Yamato blinks, then pouts. "But Sora…" he says innocently, "Whose side are you on?"
I see Sora falter, and can't help but feel a spark of smugness. Good to know I'm not the only one affected by his mind fucking skills!
"That's right, fuck-"
NO NO! NO FUCKING!
"And it's not as if I did anything," Yamato continues in that (god damn) innocent (stop pretending, Yamato!) tone. He blinks. "I only told him the truth. I only told him I needed him," gah! Damn you Yamato stop using that fucking (NO!) word! "How could you accuse me, Sora?"
"Y…Yamato…" Sora stutters, flushing.
Yamato smiles. "Sora." He says, moving forward. He smiles that predatory smile again, and licks his lips. "Move aside and give me Taichi."
NO SORA! DON'T! HE LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO EAT ME! Stop looking at me like that, Yamato! I'm not food!
My hands must be shaking on her shoulders 'cause Sora turns red but says, "N-No!" She says determinedly. She sighs, "I know he left you but you can't do this to him, Yamato! Now, stop this and make up!"
"But we've already made up," Yamato protests. He smirks, "Now we want to make out."
"And I think," he blinks, and then looks at me with that angelic (HOW does he go from being devilish to looking like an angel?!) smile, "Taichi wants to make out with me too."
"Y-Yamato!" Sora says indignantly as I whimper and bury my flaming face in Sora's shoulder 'cause well, it's true! But Yamato doesn't need to know that!
There's a sigh. "You're no fun, Sora." Yamato says, "Why can't I tease him a little?"
"Um…what's going on here?" A feminine voice says hesitantly. "Taichi-kun…are you alright?"
I snap my head up. Aoi!
"Aoi!" I run to her and hide behind her back instead, "Save me! Yamato's being evil!"
"Ishida-kun's being evil?" Aoi says in surprise.
"Yeah!" I whine.
"Ah Suzumura-kun," Yamato says smoothly, staring at Aoi with his deep blue eyes. "Why are you here?"
"Our class is on break now, so I thought I'd check up on you and Taichi-kun," Aoi replies with a smile, looking at Yamato with her light blue eyes. She nods. "Mura-kun already informed our teacher about your absence. He has your bag."
I watch as Aoi turns to me. "Taichi-kun, are you okay?" She says in concern.
Oh Aoi-chan! I have a new respect for you!
"Aoi-chan!" I reach out and hug her in relief, "Thanks for saving me!"
"Eh? Y-You're welcome…" she says, surprised. "What did I do?"
I withdraw from her and give her a grin, "A lot!" I say, "Thanks for your help!"
"Ah. No problem…"
What did you do? You saved me from the evil but sexy Yamato of course!
Sexy. Sexy Yamato. Evil sexy Yamato.
…Yes! I'm cured! Well, for now. No more embarrassment and impending humiliation! No more danger or sudden arousal! No more hiding from evil, sexy Yamato!
I grin widely and stand up straight and proud, "Ha!" I point a triumphant finger at Yamato, "This match is mine! You have no more moves!"
He blinks, then smiles. "I see." He says. He shrugs, "Fine. You win this one."
"But, hiding behind girls," I stare as he flips his golden hair, then gives me a smirk, "Didn't know you were so pathetic, Yagami."
I gape, "What did you say?!"
Yamato smiles. "You heard me."
And he turns and walks away. I dash forward until I'm in front of him then tackle him to the floor and he yelps- and I reach out my hand to cushion his head (hey, he is sick). I twitch, but stare down at him with a grin and jab my finger at his chest. "Oh? Who's hiding now, huuuuh?"
To my surprise, Yamato blushes and averts his gaze, "T-Taichi…" he says softly, as he places his hand over his unbuttoned shirt, fingers clutching to bring the parted sides together, "You shouldn't be so forward. Not here…people are watching."
"G-Guh…?" I gurgle.
Yamato looks at me with flushed cheeks and I realize the intimate position we're in – our legs tangled, our faces close, and his shirt is still unbuttoned, revealing his pale skin (I swear he just unbuttoned another button!), and I get a view of his chest and a glimpse of his nipple, and his golden hair is messy, his eyes so blue- and he looks-sexy…
DOWN YAGAMI! DOWN!
I scramble off him so fast I almost fall back onto him but I manage to get to my feet, and I hold my hands out, "I wasn't-! I wasn't planning-!" I splutter.
Yamato gets up gracefully from the floor. He moves towards me and then grins, and I blink as he laughs, then punches me on the shoulder, "Taichi," he says in amusement, all the shyness and innocence gone from his blue eyes and leaving deviousness, as his hand slides leisurely through his hair. "You're so easy to tease. It's fun playing with you."
I stare as he reaches up and ruffles my spiky hair, "Looks like I'm still the winner, huh?" He smirks, withdrawing his hand. "Better luck next time, Yagami."
And he whirls and strolls away, his hand coming up to button his shirt. I stare, then chase after him, and clap a hand on his shoulder, "Yamato!"
I sigh, "You're evil, you know?" I mutter. "You really know how to manipulate me."
Yamato smiles and shrugs, "You should know I never back down from a challenge." He says smoothly as he threads a button through a hole with the slender fingers of one hand and I watch in awe ('cause I can never do that, I always have to use both hands!).
I sigh again but smile. "Yeah yeah," I rest my hands behind my head. "Anyway, are you sure you're alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Yamato says. He moves his gaze to mine, as I move mine to his, "Thanks, Taichi."
"No problem!" I grin. I turn and reach out a hand to his forehead, "You're still warm though. You should rest, alright?"
Yamato blinks. "Yeah…" he says, his cheeks flushed. I blink.
There's this moment in which I stare at him and he stares at me, then I take my hand away, and say, "A-Anyway, do you want me to accompany you or-"
"It's fine," Yamato says, shaking his head. He smiles and looks at me. "It's alright. We'll be seeing each other every day again now, right?"
I blink, and smile widely at him, "Yeah!"
Yamato nods, "Anyway, you should accompany your girlfriend."
"Yeah," Yamato looks at me. "Suzumura Aoi."
"…She's my girlfriend?"
"No?" I stare at him in confusion, scratching the back of my head, "When did I say Aoi-chan was my girlfriend?"
"But I thought…" Yamato murmurs, "The other day…"
I blink. "Oh that. Aoi's not my girlfriend," I say truthfully, "Yeah she likes me but she's not my girlfriend. I mean, she confessed to me but I, well, rejected her."
Yamato turns and meets my eyes, "And why did you reject her?"
Because I love you.
"Because…" I stare into deep blue eyes, "I-li-I mean, she's not the one." I look away, "Aoi-chan's a nice and understanding girl and I like her, but I don't like her that way."
Because I already love you, Yamato.
"Ah…" Yamato murmurs. "So she's not your girlfriend?"
"You don't have a girlfriend?"
"I see," Yamato says, and I look at him as he smiles, murmuring. "I'm glad."
"Nothing," Yamato shakes his head and looks to the side and I can't see his expression – "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, Taichi." He says smoothly.
He smiles at me and my heart skips as he quickens his pace a little. I watch him, then I turn, and shout, "Sora!"
Sora starts in surprise. She runs forward, "What, Taichi?"
"Sorry," I grin sheepishly at her, "For just now. But Yamato's going back to rest and you should be there with him."
"Then, I'll be going back to class now, so I'll see you later, Sora!" I smile at her, "Thanks, Sora! I'll trust you to take care of Yamato!"
I turn and run back to where Aoi is. "Hey. Sorry 'bout that. Yamato and I just reconciled, so…"
"I'm glad for you." Aoi says in her soft alto. She smiles at me, "Is everything alright, Taichi-kun?"
"Yeah! Everything's great!"
"Alright, if you say so."
I smile as Aoi and I walk along the hallway, "Hey, Aoi? I think I realized something."
"What is it, Taichi-kun?"
"Well, do you mind if I tell you one of my mathematical analogies?"
"I don't mind at all," Aoi says, looking up at me with light blue eyes and a smile, "I found your analogy interesting, Taichi-kun."
"Ah," I smile and scratch my neck. I look up, "Well, all this time I've been differentiating myself from Yamato, but I realized today that wasn't the right way."
"What I should have done was-" I pause, then think back to the lesson this morning. "Integrate. But with limits. Not too far, but not too near."
"Cause, you know, it's like the area under a curve," I make a gesture through the air, "Say the area under the curve is labeled, 'Yagami Taichi's closeness to Ishida Yamato'. I can't exactly take the entire area, can I? I don't have the right. But I can't take none of it either. If I differentiate Y I'll just get the gradient!" I make an upward gesture, "I'll just get the slope of the curve- " I laugh, "Well, I hope that made sense! It just came to me!"
"I think I get it, Taichi-kun," Aoi smiles. She looks at me, "You're searching for the limits to how close you can get to Ishida Yamato. You don't want to differentiate from him because…" she pauses, "You don't want to be so far from him that you can only see a slope of him- a glance of his overall state of being or emotions."
I blink, then grin, "Well yeah, something like that!" I laugh, then smile, "Yeah, I don't want to be too far away from him until all I can see is what the people who don't see him see," I murmur, "Or not see him at all."
"But," I look at her with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Aoi. I must be really inconsiderate. I mean, you told me your feelings and I'm…"
"It's okay, Taichi-kun. I'm just happy to be your friend." Aoi smiles reassuringly at me. She nods, "Seeing you with Ishida Yamato- it made me smile. The way you two interact, the way you held out your hand to cushion his fall, when you talked to him-" she shakes her head. "The lightness and the emotion between you and him, there's no way I can compete with that!" She grins. "I'm in the same class as Ishida-kun and I don't know him well, but I've never seen him smile like that before. He's cold. I've never seen him look so happy." She smiles at me, "He looked really happy with you, Taichi-kun."
"And I'm happy with him," I confess, smiling. I sigh. "I know- that he doesn't know, but I suppose that's okay. Nothing has changed between us, we're still the same. We're still best friends. And being able to be with him, again, is enough for me."
"Are you sure about that, Taichi-kun?"
Aoi giggles, and I blink at her, "Aoi-chan?"
She grins at me and I blink again, "Taichi-kun, forgive me for saying this, but you are quite dense," she holds up a hand, "Not in a bad way though! It's just- well, I'll let you find out for yourself!"
"O…kay," I say slowly. "But why am I dense?"
But Aoi shakes her head, "Sorry Taichi-kun, but I'm not the one to tell you." She smiles apologetically. "You'll have to wait for someone else. It's something you have to find out for yourself."
Aoi smiles and pats my shoulder. "It'll be alright." She reassures. "I'm sure you two will be fine."
"Yeah," I smile at her, "Thanks, Aoi. You're a great friend."
She beams at me and I say, "So, wanna spend break together?"
"Eh? But you have to go back to class-"
"Ah, never mind 'bout that," I wave away. She blinks and I smile. "Hey. Relax, Aoi-chan. It's your break now, right? And you came to find us. Spending the rest of your break with you wouldn't hurt!"
Aoi blinks, then flushes, "I'll be glad to have your company, Taichi-kun."
I chuckle, "You're too polite, Aoi-chan," I say leisurely. "But I'll take that as a yes."
"So c'mon, let's head to the canteen!" I stretch my arms out with a yawn, "I'm starving after all that running! And I'm sure you are too."
"I played Volleyball during mass PE," Aoi grins a little, "I'd love to eat right now."
I return her grin, "That's more like it!"
She smiles back at me, and as we make our way to the canteen together, I tune back into my thoughts.
Yeah people aren't like numbers. They change on their own. But everything changes. That's what makes it interesting, isn't it?
But numbers are fixed. The x-coordinates are fixed. 'Idiot Taichi in unrequited love' is fixed. The limits can change with the x-coordinates though. If the value of x, has a bigger range, 'Idiot Taichi in unrequited love' will want to be closer to Ishida Yamato. So he has to control himself. He can't be too close, but he can't be too far away either, differentiating himself until all he can see is a glimpse of Ishida Yamato, like the gradient out of the entire curve.
Wonder what Minamoto-sensei would say if I ever told him my mathematical analogies. He'd probably lecture me on how Maths is Maths and shouldn't be used in such a way and that I'm ruining the past and future of Maths- Che!
But you know, it's like the points on a curve. The curve is y – Yamato. I'm x. A point on a curve has both x and y coordinates. So every point on the curve will be 'Idiot Taichi in unrequited love and Yamato'. No matter where the point moves, it'll still be the same. 'Idiot Taichi in unrequited love and Yamato' will be together, regardless of the value.
But if I choose to differentiate, like I did, it won't be 'Idiot Taichi in unrequited love and Yamato'. It won't even be Yamato. It'll be the gradient of y, the gradient of Yamato. The curve isn't one fixed shape. It doesn't have a fixed slope. But for the sake of simplifying things, people differentiate y – differentiate the curve with respect to x. No matter what the equation of the curve is, differentiating y (Yamato) with respect to x (Idiot Taichi in unrequited love) will only give the slope of Yamato. Like what I've done. I differentiated myself from Yamato and I became someone who just sees a glimpse of him, what people see to simplify matters- and not for who he is, the person he is. Like how his fangirls screamed when they saw him playing basketball and he did that slamdunk. And it's not as if it's bad to show support for him, but they're differentiated from him and they didn't notice he was sick, they just thought he was cool. Even the guys thought he was cool and wanted him on their team. I thought he was cool too and I didn't notice he was sick until the last minute when I saw him stumble and fall (Yamato has perfect balance). And yeah, Yamato's a cool guy, but he's not just that. He's a person too.
Sometimes you can't just pay attention to the points on the curve. Besides 'Idiot Taichi in unrequited love and Yamato', which is a constant as x and y are constants, I have to look at the area under the curve as well and integrate Yamato with respect to Idiot Taichi in unrequited love but with limits. That's- what I've been missing all along. That's why I took the coward's way out, and refused to see him properly at all.
Yeah. I've been a real idiot. I just proved to him I'm like all those other people who don't know him for who he is.
But I'm not. Not now.
And Yamato knows that now.
Because I can pick any number, any range of numbers for x in integration this time, it should be easier this way.
For both me and you, Yamato.
Because I won't leave you again.