Sebastian - Hey, princess.
Sebastian - Princess.
Sebastian - Oi, Kurt.
Sebastian - Kurt.
Sebastian - Poke.
Sebastian - Kurt?
Sebastian - KURT
Kurt - Oh for the love of god, WHAT? And 'princess', really? Is that the best you could come up with?
Sebastian - Ah, here you are, princess. You're alive.
Kurt - Yes, isn't it just wonderful. And I say again; 'princess'?
Sebastian - What? It fits.
Kurt - It does NOT
Sebastian - Touchy?
Kurt - As a matter of fact yes. You wouldn't want to have a royal pet name if you'd been voted junior prom queen either.
Sebastian - Wait, what? Prom *queen*?
Kurt - Yes, *queen*. May I present McKinley High's student body's great idea of an anonymous display of not only homophobia but also incredibly low intelligence levels.
Sebastian - Jeez, that… that sucks. Sorry.
Kurt let out a shocked breath at that, thumbs pausing in their rapid movement for a moment as he tried to think how to respond.
Kurt - Thank you. So what did you want?
Sebastian - Oh, I'm in French. And I'm bored.
Kurt - You sent me seven texts because you're bored.
Sebastian - Yes.
Kurt - Right. Why… I'm not even surprised.
Sebastian - ;)
Kurt - Oh, no. You did not just send me a winky smiley face, Sebastian Smythe.
Sebastian - ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Kurt - Oh my god. What are you, a thirteen year old girl?
Sebastian - ;)
Kurt - You really are bored, aren't you.
Sebastian - Kurt, it's French. FRENCH.
Kurt - French is interesting. Go learn something.
Sebastian - Not if you're already fluent it's not.
Kurt - You're fluent?
Sebastian - I lived in Paris.
Sebastian briefly looked up from where his phone was hidden in his folder, on top of his already completed work, as he answered the teacher's question with an ease that had most of his fellow classmates groaning with envy. When he looked back down to his screen to find that Kurt still hadn't replied even five minutes later, he sent off another message, smirk alighting on his face once more.
Sebastian - Are you dead?
Kurt - Oh. My. God. I might actually throttle you. You lived in PARIS.
Sebastian - Yes, I did. So what?
Kurt - You lived in one of the most beautiful cities in the WORLD, in the fashion capitol, in France, in the home of fashion and beauty and love and romance and. Cheese. And fashion. And wine. And almost *everything* that is perfect in life? And did I mention the FASHION?
Sebastian - Ah. Jealous?
Kurt - It's where Moulin Rouge is set. And Ratatouille.
Sebastian - Now who's a thirteen year old girl?
Kurt - And the Eiffel Tower. And the Arc d'Triomphe. And oh my god.
Sebastian - You're basically incoherent right now aren't you
Kurt - Sebastian. It is the home of croissants.
Sebastian - It is indeed the home of croissants.
Kurt - Oh my god I am so jealous of you right now.
Sebastian- C'est la vie. (That's life.)
Kurt - La vie est très injuste, si Sebastian à pu vivre a la Paris, quand J'étais a Lima. (Life is very unfair, if Sebastian was able to live in Paris, when I was in Lima.)
Sebastian - Tu a parle la français? (You speak French?)
Kurt - J'adore la mode, naturellement je peux parler français, idiote. (I love fashion, naturally I can speak French, idiot.)
Sebastian - I stand impressed, Mr Hummel.
Kurt - Why thank you, Mr Smythe.
Kurt - And Ratatouille is a beautiful film.
Sebastian - Thirteen year old girl…
Kurt - Hey, you recognised it.
Sebastian - Touché.
Sebastian thought it would get better.
He thought he would be able to shut the lid on the whole thing again, go back to his mindless trickery to take his mind off it, maybe win Regionals, and everything would go back to normal.
But it didn't get better.
He couldn't stop the nightmares, couldn't stop the flashes of memories, couldn't even stop the tears sometimes. He'd lost count of the number of times he had sat, sweat soaked sheets twisted around him, tears slipping down his cheeks and gripping his phone so hard the plastic creaked, staring at Kurt's number on the dull screen.
Mostly, it was enough. Enough to just sit, desperately staring at the number and the name and remembering what they meant; the knowledge that he could call if he needed to enough to calm him down.
And sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes he had to go and reread their conversations, drinking in the insults and jibes until the tears stopped falling and his breathing evened out enough for him to attempt sleep once more.
He hadn't actually called Kurt again yet. It hadn't gotten to that point, but Sebastian was slipping, he knew he was, as more nights passed where he had to reread the texts, more nights where he could not stop crying, more nights where he didn't sleep at all.
Sebastian was teetering. He was right on the edge of completely losing control, and he had no idea how to pull himself back; so he stayed there, not quite together but not quite in pieces, helplessly waiting to tip either one way or the other.
"Sebastian?" He jerked his head up to find Kurt standing by his table, cardboard cup clasped in his hands. Something in Kurt's expression tightened a little when he caught sight of Sebastian's face, but he didn't comment on it.
"Can I sit?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." He shrugged, before reaching across the table to attempt to move some of his bounteous amounts of paper out of the way.
"How've you been?" Sebastian shrugged again, studiously avoiding Kurt's eyes. His gaze couldn't help flickering to the other boy's face when he heard him sigh heavily, and he was met with a slightly disapproving look.
"You haven't been sleeping well, have you?" Kurt asked, but it was more of a statement than a question; Sebastian could pretend all he liked but the bags under his eyes and the gauntness in his cheeks gave him away; no, no he hadn't been sleeping well at all.
"I… no. No, not really. Just… it won't stop." Kurt hummed sympathetically, hand reaching out before quickly retracting again; an odd expression crossing his face, but it felt as if a dam had broken inside Sebastian; his words flooding out all at once in their rush to be heard.
"I just keep replaying it all, over and over and over and over again and it won't stop, and I keep seeing him lying there in that hospital bed, all thin and his eyes, fuck, his eyes… Everyone's eyes, accusing and judging and I just feel helpless, I couldn't do anything and everyone knew it, and," he paused for breath, his burning eyes suddenly focusing on Kurt's shocked ones with startling intensity. "Did you know I was the one who found him? After… it was me." Kurt drew in a breath, his knuckles white from the strength with which he was gripping the table top with one hand, and his coffee with the other.
"He was just lying there… there was so much blood. I didn't know that a human body had so much… he was cold. Really, really cold." He murmured, finally sagging back in his chair and closing his eyes as he struggled not to let the images rise up again; squashing them down ruthlessly.
A hand gently clasped his own, and his eyes flashed open to find Kurt staring at him fiercely, coffee forgotten and hand grasping his with almost painful strength.
"It wasn't your fault." Sebastian stared at Kurt, expression softening.
"You don't kno-" he started; because he knew what Kurt was trying to say, but he didn't know what had happened, didn't know enough to realise that it was Sebastian's fault, but Kurt didn't let him finish.
"I don't care what you think. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I don't care what happened, it wasn't your fault. Okay? It wasn't. And Karofsky's attempt isn't your fault either. It doesn't matter what you said, or what you did, I know it wasn't your fault." Sebastian stared at him, mouth slightly open, and Kurt gazed back steadily.
"Karofsky told me what you said to him." Sebastian flinched, and tried to pull his hand away, but Kurt was relentless; tightening his grip and plunging on. "And it wasn't your fault. Anything you did you have more than apologised for, Sebastian. Karofsky tried to kill himself because he felt trapped, and alone, because of the people at his school, and because… because of me. More than anyone, it was my fault." Kurt sighed, as a frown creased Sebastian's forehead.
"What? No, how could it have been your fault?" He had to clear his throat a few times before the words would come, and something in his stomach twisted at the half-smile Kurt gave him.
"He tried to phone me. So many times… and I ignored him. I ignored him because I thought he was just being persistent… he asked me out on Valentine's day, and I rejected him, and I thought it would be easier for him to get over me if I didn't talk to him… and all the while, he needed me, he needed me to talk to. And I ignored him, Sebastian. And I feel… so, so horrible and guilty about that. But you know what?" Kurt gave a slightly strangled sounding chuckle, shaking his head as Sebastian watched the play of emotions in his eyes, wondering if the repercussions of ignoring someone in need had had any effect on Kurt's decision to be there for him this time around.
"He forgave me, Bastian. He forgave me for it, and I will never stop feeling guilty for it, but I will not let that guilt consume me. Because it won't help him, won't help anybody, because he forgave me. And whatever the reason is that you think Christian's death was your fault, it wasn't. And he would forgive you for it too, I know he would." Sebastian stared at Kurt, breathing raggedly as he tried not to cry. He was crying a lot these days.
God, how the mighty have fallen. He thought to himself bitterly as he dropped his gaze, swallowing.
"You don't know that." He whispered, and Kurt clenched his hand tighter.
"Yes I do." Kurt answered dismissively, reaching for his coffee but still not letting go of Sebastian's hand.
"How?" He asked, looking up with a frown to find Kurt smirking at him, a challenge in his eyes.
"I know things."
"Yes. I'm physic. Did I not tell you?" He asked, smirk growing wider as Sebastian felt the corner of his mouth start to tug upwards in amusement.
"Must have slipped your mind."
"Huh, well. I am. So." They stared at each other for a few moments, before Sebastian snorted, and then both of them were laughing; hands slipping apart naturally in their mirth.
Sebastian felt a little better once he could breath past his chuckles; like a little bit of the weight had been lifted. It was not gone, not by any means, but it was a little lighter; lighter enough that the world looked a little brighter, there in that quiet coffee shop in the middle of Lima, Ohio.
Sebastian let out a muffled groan into his pillow. Blearily, he raised his head, blinking sleepily at his phone on his bedside table, where it had stopped buzzing, but a flashing blue light told him he had a new message.
Groaning again, he reached for it, burrowing back into his pillow with the device cupped in his hands as he yawned, opening up the new message without looking at the sender.
Kurt - If convenient, come to the Lima Bean, asap. Sebastian stared at it, frowning, but before he could compose a reply it vibrated in his hands again.
Kurt - If inconvenient, come anyway. Sebastian snorted at that, more awake by the second, and shifted into a sitting position as he replied.
Sebastian - Nice Sherlock reference.
Kurt - Thank you. I was rather proud of it.
Sebastian - I can tell :P
Kurt - More emoticons, really? Anyway, are you coming?
Sebastian - Give me 20 mins. ;P
"So what is it that was so impossibly urgent that you had to drag me out of bed with Sherlock references? If it isn't to do with them moving up the filming for the next season, then I don't really care." Kurt snorted, handing him a coffee, which Sebastian took eagerly.
"No, unfortunately filming is still supposed to start in 2013. I didn't know you watched the BBC version." He commented, while Sebastian nodded the affirmative, still cradling the warmth of his cup.
"Well, I've seen the Robert Downey Jr. version, but... come on, have you seen Benedict Cumberbatch's cheekbones?" Kurt laughed, shaking his head.
"Yes, yes I have. Both are good and both of them are attractive, to be honest, but I like the BBC version; it's the most different."
"And cleverest. And funniest. And wittiest."
"Isn't witty just a combination of clever and funny?" Kurt asked with a frown, and Sebastian flapped a hand at him, taking another gulp of caffeine.
"Well, extra doses of both."
"True." They sat in silence for a few moments, before Sebastian suddenly remembered why he'd been called there. Or rather, he remembered that he didn't know why he'd been called there, because he seriously doubted it was just to discuss Sherlock Holmes adaptations.
"So why am I here?" Kurt appraised him thoughtfully for a few moments, clearly thinking about something, but Sebastian didn't push him; draining his cup while he waited.
"I wanted you to meet someone again." Sebastian stiffened, lowering his cup and staring at Kurt suspiciously, but the other boy had already turned around to signal to someone. He froze up completely when he recognised who was approaching their table; barely breathing as he watched Kurt greet them with a hug and a smile, pulling out a chair for them.
Kurt had turned back to him, was watching his face with nervous anticipation displayed clearly on his face, and Sebastian gazed back desperately, unable to look at the man to his left, trying to convey to Kurt that he couldn't do this, he couldn't do it, please don't make me do this please.
"Sebastian?" Sebastian shook slightly, but Kurt was still watching him; expression softened into one of firm belief; his own eyes silently conveying the words; I believe in you.
He inhaled sharply through his nose, before meeting Karo-David's gaze, shakily.
"I…hi." Was all he settled for, and David nodded at him, smiling gently and merely appraising him with calm eyes… there wasn't any accusation in them. At least not yet.
"Hey." Sebastian swallowed dryly, tracing his eyes over David's face. The boy looked tired and pale, but… alive. He was alive. The lingering purplish patches peeking over the edge of his collar reminded Sebastian of that.
"Look, about the other night… I… I'm sorry." Sebastian stammered, cursing himself for his lack of eloquence. Where were his words when he needed them?
David looked startled, before he nodded again.
"No, no it's not fine." He blurted, and oh, there were his words, tumbling over each other now; "It's not fine. You nearly… because of me, you nearly…" He couldn't say it, but the words didn't stop; both Kurt and David's eyes wide and fixed on him. "I was having a bad day, and feeling majorly cock-blocked by gay face here, and- wait, no, I didn't mean to call you that, I just… fuck, my words aren't working." He huffed out another laugh as language failed him yet again, bringing up a hand to scrub over his face while he tried to order his thoughts.
"One day, Sebastian Smythe, I will make you buy me a very expensive designer coat to make up for all the gay face comments." Kurt stated, raising his eyebrow in a distinctly unimpressed look which had David chuckling, before Kurt stood.
"I'm just going to go get a refill." He gestured with his half-empty cup, while Sebastian stared at him, frozen and silently half-begging Kurt not to leave him, but Kurt went, leaving Sebastian and David alone.
"Um." Sebastian coughed, scrubbing a hand over his hair again - it was pretty much ruined by this point anyway - and looked down at the coffee stained surface of the table.
"Hey, Sebastian… it really is fine. And don't flatter yourself, I didn't… I didn't try to… not because of you. It contributed, yeah, but it was more like… a build up, you know? Kurt said you were blaming yourself and… that's stupid." Sebastian raised his head once more, appraising David carefully, mind flicking through the words and evaluating their meanings.
"I… I'm still sorry." David nodded, his own gaze dropping awkwardly.
"Uh, well… thank you." He murmured, but Sebastian shook his head.
"No, I should be the one… I really am sorry, David." David jumped a little at the use of his name, but smiled a little.
"Sebastian, really, it's… I accept your apology? Is that the right phrase?" David frowned, breaking off to look at Sebastian questioningly.
"Do I look like someone who's up to date on proper apologising etiquette?" Sebastian asked blankly, earning himself a small chuckle from David.
"Look, I'm still… recovering. It's probably gonna take a while. But I think that I'll be okay, and you… I don't know what's going on with you, man, but you look like you've got your own shit to sort out. So don't beat yourself up for it. God knows I've done worse." David shook his head, a self-deprecating look that Sebastian recognised instantly, if only because he'd spent so long training himself not to wear it.
"Wait, worse?" The question slipped out before he could stop it, and David seemed to almost fold in on himself, his gaze fixed on where his hands were loosely cupping his drink.
"Kurt hasn't told you? I used to bully him. Badly. Like… slushies, shoving him into lockers, pushing him around…" Sebastian was silent as David trailed off, struggling with an entirely new emotion he really hadn't been expecting, out of the wide range of feelings that he'd suddenly been reintroduced to recently.
The idea that Kurt had been treated like that, the images that flashed through his mind at David's words, had suddenly and irrationally made him angry. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to get Kurt out of there, make him come back to Dalton where things like that didn't happen.
He took a deep breath, trying to control himself, and suddenly realised that David was still speaking.
"He doesn't show it, you know? He's so much stronger than I am." He said softly. Sebastian stared at him. "He doesn't show it, but… look after him, yeah? I don't… I don't know if Blaine already does that or not, and I guess he's got his brothers… but he needs people on his side. So look after him?" Sebastian blinked, and cleared his throat slightly.
"I… yeah." David nodded, apparently satisfied, and glanced at his watch.
"I should be going. Say bye to Kurt for me?" Sebastian nodded wordlessly, and continued gazing at the door to the Lima Bean long after David had disappeared through it.
"Feel better?" Sebastian jumped, slamming his knee on the table and biting back a swear as his eyes returned to the table to find Kurt sitting there, hands curled around his drink and gazing back expectantly.
"I…" He blinked, trailing off as he thought about it. "Yeah. Yeah actually." Kurt smirked, and Sebastian, feeling better and more like his usual bastard-y self than he had for a while, scoffed back at him.
"Oh shut it, Hummel, just because you were right this time doesn't mean it's a recurring thing."
"You keep telling yourself that, Sebastian. Whatever helps you sleep at night." He jibed back, but his eyes were soft. Sebastian let himself smile at him, before the conversation turned to Sherlock adaptations and whether John and Sherlock would be hotter than Moriarty and Sherlock, an argument that Sebastian would never admit to losing, even if he couldn't stop grinning the whole time.
Hey everybody! I realise I haven't really said HI to you guys on , mainly because the other chapters had already been written. This chapter was a while in coming, basically because however reluctant Sebastian seems in this to talk to David? He was like ten times more stubborn when I was trying to write it. -.-' (pfft, control over my characters? You're kidding right, that doesn't happen)
So anyway, sorry it was a long time coming, but I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank all the reviewers, story alerters and favouriters; you guys are awesome, THANK YOU SO MUCH XD I really appreciate every single one of you, so thank you! If any of you have any questions about the story, update time etc or just want to say hi, then review, or come talk to me on tumblr, where I'm 'living-in-a-mindpalace . tumblr . com' (just take out them spaces and apostrophes) or send me a PM :)
Hope you enjoyed, and please review! XD