Thursday 29th May
It feels good to be back in school with the wonderful smell of stink bombs and teenage angst. And it feels so right to see Spike standing outside the princibals office wearing gym shorts because he tried to set fire to his farts and his pants caught alight. It was actually kinda funny to see him rinning around shouting "Bloody hell! Man, I'm on fire! Put me out! Put me out! PUT ME OUT!" We were all stood frozen until homeless man Mr. Giles burst in and grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed Spike until the Principal stopped him, saying he was getting a bit carried. Mr. Giles muttered something about foam then toddled off to his little office.
Buffy Summers has told Anya Jenkins that Dawn punched me so I would vomit because I wanted to be thinner. Anya is famous for gossip, and spread it immediately, expanding the story so that I passed out and was rushed to hospital. Nobody is speaking to Dawn. But she doesn't seem to notice - or plain just dosen't care - because now she has new friends. I found them round the back of school but couldn't see their heads because of the smoke, it cleared though and I actually jumped in surprise. They had so much make up on - pale foundation, black eyeshadow and purple lipstick, both Dawn and her new friends could barely keep their eyes open.
"Meet my new friends, Oz and Dru and Faith." She inhaled then looked at me like I was the principal or something.
"Want a spliff? I can build you one." Oz said.
"Damn you Oz! Females don't smoke that crap! Its either cigarettes or drugs." Faith snapped.
"I'm sure Ashley would be thankful for your knife Dru, it would be another good excuse for her to leave the classroom." Dawn said and handed over a plastic knife from the canteen.
"Dawn! You haven't been cutting yourself, have you?" I asked horrified.
"Just once when I thought Oz was being sexist. As it turns out, females don't take much joy in it as males. You better not try it." Dawn explained.
"DAWN! I WAS NEVER GOING TO!"
I just left after that. I mean, if Dawn wants to smoke crap and cut herself its hardly my problem, is it? I do fear for my life though. I accidentally told Anya about it in Geometry and the she really has took a shine to me.
Her story is Dawn is slitting her wrists to end her tragic life, the life where Buffy get the guys she wants, and smoking is her pain relief. And Dru, Oz and Faith are going to sacrifice her to an emo god and take over the school unless everyone ignores them. Of course its all made it up. Well, except the part about ignoring them.
Something strange has happened to me again. And no, it's not that on the way home Mr. Giles threatened to sacrafice me to a 'Watcher council'. It was like a Mean Girls scene.
I was walking over to mine and Amy table when Buffy stopped me.
"Hey, bitch! Come sit with us!" And the next thing I know I was at the popular table, they are so noisy. I swear I thought the vacuum made a lot of noise but when Anya starts kissing Xander the vacuum is put to shame. In fact, they were all at it. Buffy explained they were on a diet and threw my hummus sandwich away for me.
"Kissing saves me from starvation." She said before Spike leapt across the table and kissed the life out of her. I felt quite out of place yet it felt exotic, so from today, I am officially recording the status of the popular group. And Dawn's group because if the hospital needs a reason of death I might just have it written down.