A/N: This is for Billie, for your encouragement and for providing me with material to write this story, along with the inspiration from your amazing Dobie Gillis story. I hope you enjoy this and that it was worth waiting for.

Take it from me, Dobie Gillis... High school is a pain! Believe me, I know...I've spent plenty of time there!

Central High School is filled with all sorts of people... There are pranksters, bullies, overachievers... and those are just the teachers!

Teachers are a puzzling sort; always praising you for work you've done well and then wanting you to work even harder.

If I wanted that sort of treatment, I'd spend all day at Gillis Grocery; the store that my father owns. He's forever trying to get me to stay there and help him do the work that he clearly doesn't want to do.

But that's a parent for you... Why he's almost as bad as the teachers!

This brings me to my point...

While teachers and parents are completely confusing, Girls are an entirely different story.

No matter what I do, I just can't figure them out. And trust me... I've been trying my whole life.

Sure, they're young, smart, sophisticated and beautiful, but aside from that they're a complete mystery to me.

Now, I'm no expert when it comes to girls, but sometimes I wish they were more like guys, you know?

Guys read comic books and watch sports... typical guy things that you'd expect them to do.

But not girls...

One minute they're complaining because they have too many boyfriends, so they push them away. And then when the guy finally takes the hint and leaves, the girls start complaining because they have no boyfriend. I just don't get it.

Yep, girls are a complete mystery to me.

And the biggest mystery of all is Thalia Menninger.

Thalia is the love of my life. She's the most perfect girl I've ever laid eyes on. Perfect figure, blonde hair, blue eyes. She's beautiful, and the most wonderful person I've ever encountered.

So why aren't I with her and why am I sitting in this park talking to a statue of The Thinker?

I'll tell you why...

As much as it hurts to do it.

For one thing, Thalia won't give me the time of day.

Actually that's not true. She did give me the time... Once.

We were walking down the hall side by side; her blonde hair shining beneath the fluorescent lights and she looked so beautiful that I just couldn't help myself. I turned to her and said...

"Thalia, I know we're still in high school but I love you. Will you marry me?"

Of course, at the exact moment I opened my mouth, the bell sounded and kids began to scramble through the hallways, nearly knocking her to the ground.

And before I could rescue my one true love and receive an answer to my impromptu proposal (which was completely sincere by the way... I would marry her in a heartbeat.), Milton Armitage appeared and once again became Thalia's hero.

The bell rang again and all I could do was stand there and stare at her. That's when she looked at the gold watch on her porcelain wrist and then into my eyes.

"Dobie, what are you doing standing there? It's almost 10:45! You're going to be late for Mr. Pomfritt's English class!"

Funny how something as trivial as being given the time of day could make my heart soar.

Perhaps there was hope for me yet.