tlhIngan maH! (We Are Klingons)

by Polydicta


Harry knows that he will meet Voldemort. With the headmaster dead and the underage magic detectors damaged, he decides to give himself an 'edge'. A Crossunder between the worlds of Harry Potter and Start Trek fandom.

What happens when Harry is exposed to a fictional character with a worthwhile warrior ethos? What happens when Harry and company decide to emulate a fictional warrior race. What happens when their training makes them physically strong, immune to pain and magically powerful?

tlhInganpu, is what.

Author's Forward:

This is NOT a Star Trek / HP crossover! – it's a HP/Trekkie crossunder. The Klingon stuff is based (loosely) on Star Trek (Next Generation) material.

In speech, text enclosed in square brackets [ ] is the Klingon/English translation


This is not my best writing by far, and whilst I am not happy with it I don't have the inclination to perform a complete overhaul and re-write. This (ridiculously) short chapter is new and chapter 6 (End Game) is currently being re-written as the worst example of my scribbling imaginable. My original part 6 really made the whole thing painful to read (not that the rest is pain-free).


All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.

Star Trek, Klingon and everything pertaining are copyright items and the property of Paramount Studios and the Estate of Gene Roddenberry. No infringement on those rights is intended.

There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.


tlhIngan maH! (We Are Klingons) - Part 1: Concerning the Death Of Albus Dumbledore


The dark-haired teen turned. "Yes Hermione?"

"Harry … I want … I need … to apologise …"

Harry nodded. "Go on, Hermione …"

"Harry … I-I'm sorry. I was wrong and you were right …"

"In what respect, Hermione?" His voice was still cold, almost as thouigh he had given up on his friend.

"Everything … the book … Malfoy … Snape … everything …"

Tears now trickled across her cheeks, her voice breaking as she went on, "li-life is t-too short to b-b-be angry, H-harry, a-and I w-was a fool t-to throw m-myself at R-r-ronald."

There was a venomous edge as she spoke the redhead's name.

She continued, " I d-don't know what I was thinking … he always puts me down and winds me up …"

She flung herself at her friend and threw her arms around him. Refelxively, after a moment, he hugged her back as she stood sobbing into his chest.


As the hours passed before the Headmaster's funeral, Harry and Hermione discussed Harry's mission, given him by Albus Dumbledore himself. Without the proximity of Ron, who was busy with Lavender, the pair became closer - they gave mutual support and, by the time that Albus was interred in his marble tomb, a degree of affection.


The journey back to Kings Cross on the Hogwarts Express was difficult, particularly for the younger students who were scared and in need of comfort. On arriving at the station, the platform was swarming with aurors, Harry recognised several dressed as muggles on the muggle side of the barrier.

The Dursleys were notable by their absence, and Harry was met by Remus Lupin and Alastor Moody.

"Just the pair. Potter, your relatives are waiting for you in Surrey so we'll be taking you there ourselves. We've convinced them to go away on holiday for the next few weeks, until your birthday, so you'll be there on your own. You know the drill, so someone will follow you when you need to shop. Lupin here will look in on you occasionally.

"Oh, and both of you, just so that you know, someone has sabotaged the magical sensors in the underage magic office and with the current state of things, it doesn't look like they'll be fixed this side of next year."

"Who … why … ?"

Moody's face split into a disturbing grin. "The Ministry think that it's so that underage Death Eaters can operate freely without being noticed. I think it's a wonderful opportunity for you to train on your own …"