A light in the dark
By Miss P
Summary: Most people thought Jane was nothing more than a heartless sadist.
But what if someone saw past her icy façade and tried to help her? Jane/Demetri.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
People would call me a sadist, maybe that's true. But I didn't only find pleasure in torturing others, sometimes it seemed I also liked torturing myself. Every time I used my power to inflict pain, I was also hurting me. The illusion I created burned anyone right where they stood, and I wanted, needed to see them suffer as much as I did. But that also meant I could never allow myself to forget. Hundreds of years later I was still trapped in the past, burning with every misdirected feeling of hatred. Remembering that night in detail every time I watched someone else feel that horrible ache burn through their bodies, made me die a little bit more inside each time, but I didn't want it any other way.
I had lost it all, my family, my life and even my soul. All that is left in me is the pain. That is what I'm good at, what I do. Didn't someone say that feeling pain is better than not feeling anything at all? It's what I've been clinging to ever since I was burned as a witch, an innocent child, sweet and loving, someone who didn't know how cruel the world could truly be until one day when everything was abruptly ripped away.
And what hurt the most was knowing I could never have that back, not even the tiniest little piece of light in my darkened empty existence. I was doomed to live like this, repeating the same pattern over and over again, torturing myself with the memories every time I did to people what was once done to me. I couldn't stop myself, couldn't change. It was what I lived for, the pain and the power had become my life. But having that said, it didn't mean that I liked it, but without it I would surely die. Because without the power to hurt people, I would have nothing left. It was in those moments that I felt alive. Memories letting pain course through me in strong ripples every time I watched someone crumble to the floor in front of me and it put a smile to my lips, because it meant I could still feel something more than the numb emptiness that settled over me once I was alone.
The rain kept on pouring down, soaking my already wet clothes even more, but I didn't want to go inside. The balcony was my refuge. No one dared to come up here when they knew I was here. Not even Alec.
But I couldn't stand that emptiness either; I couldn't live with being so alone. If it hadn't been for Alec, I don't think that even my powers would have been enough to keep me sane. I loved him, but even though my brother had gone through the same hell as I had, it didn't seem like he understood me. No one did. Sometimes it seemed like he didn't feel at all, and maybe that was better. I couldn't tell.
"Jane?" his voice drifted to me from the room inside. I felt my body stiffen, anger rising.
"Go away," I demanded; amazed that he had actually come to me when everyone knew what I would do to anyone who dared to intrude on my personal space.
"I thought you'd want some company."
I whirled around facing him. "You thought wrong, Demetri, now go."
"Jane please, it's not good for you to…" he was cut off mid sentence as I unleashed my power on him. He didn't make a sound, but the look on his face as he slowly sunk to the floor was filled with so much agony that it made me smile. I could almost feel the flames lick their ways up my own legs as well, pain shooting through me in that moment. But it wasn't my legs that hurt, it was my heart.
Just a little longer, I told myself. I needed to feel it tear through me, especially now. I wanted to feel alive, even at the cost of Demetri's pain.
I let him go at last and it took awhile before he managed to stand. His voice broke as he repeated my name. "Why do you do it?" he asked. "Why are pushing everyone away? Hurting everyone that care for you?"
I stared at him. I was seconds away from giving him a second round of my power if he didn't leave, but he just stood there, looking back at me with something that could only be recognized as sadness in his crimson eyes. "Let me help you."
"I don't need anyone's help," I snapped.
"Then why are you hurting so badly every time you torture someone with your power?"
Surprise made me forget the anger for a while, and as I replied my voice was surprisingly soft. "How did you know?"
He just shrugged.
"I like the pain," I admitted at last. "It's all I have; I'm not letting it go."
"You have me," he said in an unflinching way, meeting my sharp gaze as I stared back at him.
T b c
A/N: What do you think? Good? Bad? Want me to continue? Let me know!